Apparently it is now!

[mrniceguy]

2 hours ago, Eyebrow said:

It is clear that I don't understand people. At all!

 

Don't try and understand people...it's too hard

[Guest]

Not surprising Eyebrow really, there are lots of people who complain, but few have the guts or opportunity to do anything about it. You have both :-)

[Eyebrow]

I am house hunting at the moment. It is amazing how much further one's money goes when one looks for housing outside the metro areas! We live in a old tiny 3 bed house. With our bed in the room you have to turn sideways to get round it on one side. And can now get a big 4 bed with pool for same rent! I am going to feel rich in a big house like that!!

[RYLC]

Just another sign that you are going to LOVE your new life ♥

[Eyebrow]

Today I am angry.

What is wrong with us? Why are we not good enough for Australia?

I feel a certain amount of resentment. 

We are good people. We pay tax. We are not criminal. We assimilate. 

Why are we not accepted here?

If we were accepted, I would not have to get an employer nominated position. I could apply for an independent visa. But no independent visa has a health waiver. It HAS to be via an employer. And therefore an employer can take advantage of you. And boy, is that a reality! I  feel helpless and resentful on this Tuesday evening before Christmas.  

 

I am trying to convince my OH to go to the UK. But he doesnt want to... We will not be discriminated against there because I had a child with a disability, that WAS NOT MY FAULT! It is just the flipping genetic lottery. The one all of us plays everytime we get pregnant! I did not sign up for this! I try my best. 

 

I am stuck. How can we go back to RSA?

 

 

I am struggling.

[LisaActually]

Oh no Eyebrow! Hope everything is ok. 

 

Thinking of you all.

[RYLC]

18 minutes ago, Eyebrow said:

Today I am angry.

What is wrong with us? Why are we not good enough for Australia?

I feel a certain amount of resentment. 

We are good people. We pay tax. We are not criminal. We assimilate. 

Why are we not accepted here?

If we were accepted, I would not have to get an employer nominated position. I could apply for an independent visa. But no independent visa has a health waiver. It HAS to be via an employer. And therefore an employer can take advantage of you. And boy, is that a reality! I  feel helpless and resentful on this Tuesday evening before Christmas.  

 

I am trying to convince my OH to go to the UK. But he doesnt want to... We will not be discriminated against there because I had a child with a disability, that WAS NOT MY FAULT! It is just the flipping genetic lottery. The one all of us plays everytime we get pregnant! I did not sign up for this! I try my best. 

 

I am stuck. How can we go back to RSA?

 

 

I am struggling.

 

I'm so sorry you are feeling down.  I think that your employer is not the norm and he is a special breed of advantage taker. This experience with him is tainting what is usally a straight forward process of 457 to PR.

 

While the rules for migration suck, they are there to ensure that Australia can support all who are invited to live here.  Cradle to grave.  So age is a factor as is (for example) cancer and all money intensive medical issues.  Australia doesn't say you are not good enough.  They are saying that we don't think we can afford to care for you to the level we think is necessary.  I'm so glad for your family that there is a way around this but it is the long road.  You will get there.  These feelings will pass. 

 

Please take the option of going back to RSA off the table.  Just yesterday a school friend's dad was shot dead point blank while sitting watching TV in the lounge.  Didn't stand a chance.  Only a (useless) computer screen taken.  As annoying as the road to PR is, there is a destination and it will have an end.

 

You are strong and resilient even when you don't feel like it.  Not only can you do this - you are already doing this!

 

[Mara]

Dear Eyebrow, so sorry to hear you are feeling down, I do sincerely trust that all is in line for your move to your new employer? I am sure they are going to be wonderful, and that you will love it there! Just keep your eyes on the horizen and do not look back! 

Edited December 22, 2015 by Mara

[Guest]

DONT QUIT

 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.


Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.


Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

[Eyebrow]

I am so upset. So much so, that I realised that I had typed most of this in Afrikaans, before I realised it had to be English...

I will miss Melbourne so much. Every place that I drive by or see now, I wonder whether this will be the last time ever that I will see it... And Melbourne has been its ultimate best the last 2 weeks with warm weather and relaxed people! 

I am very affected by this imminent move. I am crying all the time.

Funny how this is worse that the previous move... I had live in Cape Town for 8 years. And thought it was the be-all-and-end-all. I was certainly sad when we left, but it was with so much hope and expectation! The New Life. The New Country. The Excitement. The Hope. Everything that made the move bearable and even something that I looked forward to... I sat on the plane. Bubbling with the expectation of starting this new amazing life. I remember it like yesterday. I was strong and ready to brace adversity. Because in my heart I knew I had made the right decision. We would triumph in the face of adversity!!! 

 

But now I have experienced Australia. And it is NOT utopia (dare I blaspheme?). I have seen an ugly side.

 

And the next move is much more desperate.  From big to small. From "most liveable city" to smaller, far away forgotten Queensland town. Time running out for this infernal visa. Less hype, less hope. Less, well, everything...

I sit in our living room in 40 degree heat, with a slew of half packed boxes around me awaiting 2016, and crushed dreams also half baked and half packed. 

 

I half hate and love Australia at the same time. I find it hard to read the stories on here of people getting their PR's. Why not us?

 

Well, I go into 2016 kicking and screaming and into the inevitable move the same way.

15 days till I stop working, 20 days to the move, 22 days until the next flight across most of the country to our new house.

 

i sincerely hope this is not another of my spectacular mistakes, because it will be hard (? impossible) recovering from this one...

[HadEnoughofJuju]

I honestly think you have seen the worst possible side of Australia that you can. The evil human nature taking advantage of the desperate immigrant for its own advantage. QLD is not forgotten, we're just slightly behind the rest of the country. 

 

May 2016 show you the other side of Aus where people care and respect one another. Where we help each other and only want the best for our neighbors, friends and family. Remember, we're only a short  drive or phone call away.

Edited December 31, 2015 by HadEnoughofJuju

[Donovan83]

3 hours ago, Eyebrow said:

And the next move is much more desperate.  From big to small. From "most liveable city" to smaller, far away forgotten Queensland town. Time running out for this infernal visa. Less hype, less hope. Less, well, everything...

 

Lol... I have no idea how Melbourne keeps winning this accolade. You're going to love regional QLD

[Mara]

Eyebrow, may I offer you hugs and encouragement for the new life in Queensland... I trust and pray that it will be so much more than you are expecting, that your employers will be kind and generous, that you make new friends quickly and that all of your children find their special place. I also wish for you and hubby a new life with less stress and more happy, smiling days!

 

I have certainly found that smaller towns are much more welcoming than living in huge cities. Working for the government I can see no way that you will miss out on PR, you will be indispensable and they will ensure that you stay...

[Eyebrow]

40 minutes ago, Mara said:

Eyebrow, may I offer you hugs and encouragement for the new life in Queensland... I trust and pray that it will be so much more than you are expecting, that your employers will be kind and generous, that you make new friends quickly and that all of your children find their special place. I also wish for you and hubby a new life with less stress and more happy, smiling days!

 

I have certainly found that smaller towns are much more welcoming than living in huge cities. Working for the government I can see no way that you will miss out on PR, you will be indispensable and they will ensure that you stay...

 

Wow Mara, thanks for your well wishing. That certainly encompasses all my dreams in one paragraph. 

[ottg]

19 hours ago, Eyebrow said:

I go into 2016 kicking and screaming and into the inevitable move

Not sure where I saw this published but some truth in this!

Thinking by Walter Wintle

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don't,
If you like to win, but you think you can't
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!

[Eyebrow]

The reason we love it here. A different side to the city. Bayside beaches in summer. Divine and not crowded.

Will miss it so much!

 

The 3 kids as happy as we have ever seen them! Australia has been good to them. (Maybe less so to their mother )

 

Maybe move out here Donovan83? See Melbourne in a whole new light?    The commute is a killer though, esp if you have to work late...

[RYLC]

Eyebrow you have been in my thoughts all day today....   Only 10 more work days to go.  We are going to hold your hand the whole way. 

 

I hope that the short Christmas break has given you some mental space to distance yourself from the emotional abuse dished out at work.  Whatever that @#$% of a boss says to you over the next two weeks: run it though the BS detector found on this forum.  Basically, if his mouth is moving then he is lying  

 

Your beautiful family will spend many more happy days on the beach in the future.  Queensland's slogan when we first moved here was: Beautiful One Day, Perfect The Next!  You'll see...

 

 

 

 

[Eyebrow]

Today has been a perfect day in Melbourne. The temp is just right. So much so that the front door and the back door are open, and as one moves from inside to outside one cant notice any difference in temperature. It is windstill and the clouds over the bay are painted pink underneath by the setting sun. And it is now 21.30. 

 

It was my birthday today.

I keep thinking of my parents. When they were my age, their life was sorted. House bought and almost paid off, pension paid up, nice car x2 in garage.  

And here we are! Foreign country. No visa. Certainly no home ownership! And 2 cars. Both less than $5k and both not working so lekker!

 

when I ring them it is: when are you coming for a visit?

me: we dont have money.

them: awkward silence... ( thinking we dont want to visit)

me: sigh

The End

 

I am tired from all the packing up our entire house again and swimming in the Bay today. My tummy is full of Woolworth's Buffalo wings (I didn't know buffalos can fly mom. No they cant, pumpkin) and woolworth's coleslaw and homemade biscuits. 

 

I love these! Well worth making! I make them all the time. Everyone loves them and they dont flop!

http://allrecipes.com.au/recipe/16912/cornflake-and-coconut-biscuits.aspx?o_is=SR

 

I have a moment of peace in my heart tonight. They are rare so I enjoy them. 

 

Tomorrow I will worry again, about my new job which is actually something I have never even done before, so I flipping hope the sherbet wont hit the fan when I try to, and deadly jellyfish that will kill us all before we even get to the visa application... 

[ottg]

People aren't suppose to worry on their birthdays!! Everything will be ok!

 

[Chips]

Happy birthday ???Eyebrow,may this year bring you so much joy and happiness. God is with you worry not.

[Batsie]

Many happy returns Eyebrow. Here's wishing you a blessed and bountiful year ahead. 

[SML]

Happy Birthday Eyebrow! You are not alone, my folks had everything sorted by the time they were my age too. Hang in there!

 

[Eyebrow]

It is Sunday and I have to work my last week tomorrow.

 

I have a lot of work to finish in order to be able to leave things in a reasonable way for the people staying behind, or the new person (if someone replies to the ad that they are currently running). I requested for them to give me gaps in my appointments to do that. But no. That is too much to ask. In fact I have quite a lot of new client bookings. The last new client being 16.30 on Friday...

I asked if they thought this was a good idea? But the answer is that there are too many people on leave still (foreign workers go back to their countries for 4 weeks over christmas) and the message from the top is to turn no client away...

 

I am so over this place. And angry again.

 

And I bet that if someone complains, they will just tell them I left 'unexpectedly' and blame me!

 

I sincerely hope that things will be better at the next place... If it is not, I am knee deep ( maybe even deeper) in trouble. I kid you not.

 

 

[Guest]

onward and upward Eyebrow. I am sure you have seen the worst of a bad Ozzie boss. After Friday leave that place behind like a bad distant memory and look forward to what is to come. It is a new start for you and your family. I wouldn't really care what they tell the clients, you wont be there so it is not your problem.

 

Try to keep a positive outlook. ? I am sure everything will work out just fine.

[RYLC]

6 hours ago, Eyebrow said:

It is Sunday and I have to work my last week tomorrow.

 

I have a lot of work to finish in order to be able to leave things in a reasonable way for the people staying behind, or the new person.

You don't have to finish everything.  Not really...  You don't have to...  They can't make you...  In fact they can't MAKE you do anything.  They can't MAKE you take a 16:30 appointment, they can't even make you come back after lunch on Friday.  So take some of your power back.  Draw up a list of what is doable work and leave the rest.  See the 16:30 person (since I know you will) but first up tell them you are leaving and will only do the most basic of consultations as a type of handover to the new person.  Be proactive in telling everybody you see this week that you are leaving for family reasons (your family need a sure visa).  Politicians use this reason all the time by the way so you won't be alone.

 

I sincerely hope that things will be better at the next place... If it is not, I am knee deep ( maybe even deeper) in trouble. I kid you not.

There is a lot you can do to help improve your mindset.  We are not rudderless boats on the ocean to be buffeted about by the whims of the weather.  We can set our sails to make the most of the winds, we can batten down the hatches until the short storm has past and we can call on the radio for help (the hardest part). 

 

If you want some info on helping with mindset then please message me privately.  I have weathered a few quite large storms myself over the period of our time here and I brought the Black Dog with me too (tried to leave him behind but he must have snuck into a box and yes it's a He) so he has his moments at times.

 

457 is the hardest path.  Necessarily to get the result you need but still the path most beset with bumps.  We have a cousin by marriage who came as a butcher on a 457 for a very large abattoir.  Somebody reported the employer for improper treatment, slave wages etc and he got huge backpay and the option to move to any state and have his PR fast tracked.  The employer was also fined.  So this cousin had it really really tough with a young family but won through in the end.  It's going to work out.

 

Come on - stiff drink, cup of tea, glass of wine, whatever does it for you - you can do this.  And boy we are going to have a party when you "deliver this baby".

 

 

 

Edited January 10, 2016 by RYLC