Apparently it is now!

[Peterthe1]

 

On ‎17‎/‎05‎/‎2016 at 9:45 PM, Donovan83 said:

I won't lie, I am super jealous that you're still outside and enjoying 30 degree, sunny days. I'm giving myself another year in Melbourne and then it's time to leave this... *clenches teeth* delightful place 

With regards to Melbourne weather, I think you either like it or not. A friend of mine who came over from the UK about the same time as me, compares the weather in Melbourne to London. He says he came here for the warm weather but is not getting it. He's Irish so he knows about horrible weather. He'd love to move to Central Queensland coast where the weather is great all year round. It did get cold the other night though, the temp dropped below 20 degrees.  Sunny days, which is most of the time, are in the  low 30's. I suppose it is winter.

[RYLC]

I don't usually give too much of an opinion on weather because it really is relative and a very personal thing. But in defense of @Donovan83 I just have to quietly (very quietly) admit that when I have a conference on and the venue is Melbourne - I give it a skip.  If you love Melbourne, then that's awesome for you.  For the rest of us: you don't have to like something that isn't to your taste and shouldn't have to defend it either.  There is enough Australia to go round...

 

Edited cos I can't spell

Edited May 23, 2016 by RYLC

[Mara]

I will stick my neck out here....and say..... if I had recalled anything nice Donovan ever said about Melbourne... I would not have commented, but it does get a tad tedious always having to listen to how bad Melbourne is.....

 

I am only human... and when you spend as much time here as what I do, to keep the forum going, answering questions and working for those still coming....helping those already here...then forgive me, if sometimes I call it like I see it.  To be honest.... I am not just a visitor who pops in once a week, once a month, or even once a year....I am here everyday.....doing what I signed up to do!

 

I could have deleted the messages, but yes, everyone has their own opinion, and are entitled to throw it out there.... Donovan did, and so did I!

Edited May 23, 2016 by Mara

[Guest]

I am rather curious now if the beautiful summer we have had since being here in Melbourne is the norm. We have been here 8 months and in my opinion have had some terrific weather. Yes there have been the odd day here and there but on the whole its been beautiful. Yes it is getting cold now but it is Winter. For the seasoned Melbournites was this summer what one can expect or is it typically as dreary as Donovan portrays?

[RYLC]

1 hour ago, emmayenkanna said:

I am rather curious now if the beautiful summer we have had since being here in Melbourne is the norm. We have been here 8 months and in my opinion have had some terrific weather. Yes there have been the odd day here and there but on the whole its been beautiful. Yes it is getting cold now but it is Winter. For the seasoned Melbournites was this summer what one can expect or is it typically as dreary as Donovan portrays?

 

@emmayenkanna : Once you've had your first Winter it might be easier to see what people are talking about.  Whether you like or not will depend on your personal preferences of course and, being from the UK, might not seem too bad.

Those who love Melbourne will say that Summer is wonderful whereas those who don't will say they don't like it.  Weather (and our response to it) is SO personal.  One man's "perfect for a polar bear" is another man's "dreadful for a camel".  It's really too hard to debate. 

 

@Donovan83 has posted previously that, as an evening cyclist, Perth climate suited his lifestyle and preferred pursuits better than Melbourne.  He's followed the age-old advice of going where the work is but long term the climate is not making it easy to live the lifestyle he likes. 

 

I don't really understand why people are triggered by comments about a city.  It IS important information for people with outdoor pursuits to know that certain locations require rain gear and others not so much.  We wouldn't give anybody a hard time if they said they didn't like chocolate cake when we LOVED it so why be like that about a place?  "All the more for those who love it" is the saying in our house. 

 

 

 

Edited May 23, 2016 by RYLC

[DXB2OZ]

I remember reading once that a vegetarian flat mate can make you feel as if you knew your pork chop personally!!

 

This is not meant to cast aspersions on vegetarians, but it is an indication how exhausting it can be when someone persists in telling you how wrong your way of life is.

 

I do not believe that anyone denies anyone else on this forum the right to an opinion, but something that is not encouraged is too much negativity. Donovan83 seems to be genuinely going through a rough time and we do sympathies. However, many of us are very fond and very proud of our home and we take continued negativity personally.

 

Lod knows, Mara has come in for plenty of gentle ribbing for her love of Sunbury, which she has taken in good humor.

 

People, if you are a sunshine lover and become miserable when it rains - don't choose Melbourne. If you love a cosmopolitan feel, welcome home!!!

 

Personally, I think we should start a new thread - best things to do in Melbourne. Let's try and give Donavan83 some good experiences of the city to take with him when he escapes - I would hate for all memories of this gorgeous city to be miserable.

[RYLC]

43 minutes ago, DXB2OZ said:

 However, many of us are very fond and very proud of our home and we take continued negativity personally.

 

WHY do you take it personally though?  This is the part I can't understand.  What triggers you about somebody not liking Melbourne or Durban or broccoli or loud music or or or...  Opinion is just that.  So why sweat the small stuff when it doesn't affect your enjoyment of the place?  I don't get it.

[Kanniewagnie]

I am also hugely affected by the weather.  If it was only the weather that mattered, I would have been living in Pretoria.  Because Perth's known for the hot summers very few people realise that winter here is COLD and WINDY.  The icy wind is really not good for my emotional state, especially since we are dependant on public transport to get to work, so that means more walking to bus stops and waiting on stations. (Of course it applies to most of the people here, but still if you're not used to that, it takes time to get 'into' that)

 

People here really love to turn the aircon so warm on the train and at work (even the classrooms at school) that it's easy to fall ill between the cold outside and the (too) warm indoors.  Luckily the cold weather only lasts 4 months and the EXTRA hot days are spread out evenly - just when you think you can't cope with the heat, the temperatures drop for a few days, so not too unbearable.

 

Unfortunately I' ll never return to Pretoria, and hopefully I never have to move to another city because of work (we all know Perth's economic situation, so really praying in that regard).

 

I know myself - I would not be able to cope with anything colder than Perth and I also know that my husband will not be able to cope with the humidity of Sydney, so I truly can understand Donovan and on top of the cold having to cope with emotional stress too is totally depressing.

 

So Dono, my prayer for you is to have enough strength to get through this 'not lekker' time in your live and to find your happy place soon, even if it is in Melbourne, or elsewhere.... We are here to listen and support- even if we don't always agree.  It's good to give yourself a year, because it may just be enough to realise that the place grew on you, or to make a change.

[Eyebrow]

It is an interesting process, this...

I am (we are) better off where we are now. I am not under the same stress. We have more money. For the first time in years there is money left at the end of the month, and I am so grateful! (Thank goodness, I was paid so little in Melbourne.)  And it is the 7th of June and I am wearing short sleeves (thats North Queensland for ya! You should come here Donovan, The land of unending summer. )

Although I keep dreaming one of the kids will be carried away by a crocodile!

You'd think I would be happy, wont you? Right?

And I am.

But, now that the absolute pressure has been taken off me, and I have time to breathe for once, the reality of our visa issue has hit me squarely between the eyes. Our visa expires March 2018. And who knows what our chances are? I dont think we will be able to get 150 000 votes on change.org like the last lady who applied with an autistic child...

 

In fact, I have almost avoided the forum because everyone here is so happy with their PR visas. I feel like I dont belong here. Becuase I am only temporary.

 

The longer I stay in Aus, the more I like it. The more I like my happy relaxed kids. The more I like the Australian people. The less I want to go back.

And the last 6 months or so,I have had all sorts of random people from RSA contact me to explain the immigration procedure " just in case". One guy, an ex-boss of mine, and very pro - "we have to give back to the country of our birth" person, has also asked me! When I asked what changed his mind, it was: corruption and political pressure in the higher education echelons. It was quite a shock to realize that such a stalwart is doing it!

I feel as if things are rapidly escalating now in RSA (or that might just be my impression after having had my head in the job-from-hell sand for a while and just now coming back up?)

I also suddenly feel afraid for my parents' safety. Where as before I wasnt that worried. Now I almost panic. Every time the phone rings after 11pm I think something has happened to them...

 

How do I stay sane? How do I just relax and live in the moment? How do I get  though the next 21 months?

[RedPanda]

Forgive me if this is a 'stupid' question, but with your kind of temporary visa and working for the state, don't they give you some kind of indication whether they will help sponsor you for PR after the first two years working for them? And if they do sponsor you, aren't your chances rather good of succeeding? Or doesn't it work like that?

I am very glad though that you are in a much better space than previously.

[Eyebrow]

Hi Red Panda

They have given me verbal assurances that they will sponsor me. But are not willing to put it in writing. This is because I have to keep doing my job well. they dont want to give a written guarantee that they will sponsor me, and then I mess up at work, but they are stuck with me. So it makes sense, I guess. It is, however, not in writing. So a bit of stress there.

 

The real issue is that visas like ours get turned down all the time, despite the employer sponsoring. This is what keeps me up at night...

[Mara]

@Eyebrow time to start relaxing girl.... Quote " The real issue is that visas like ours get turned down all the time, despite the employer sponsoring. "

 

1. This is not just any old company, this is the government you are working for.

2. How long was the vacancy there, before they found you to fill it?

3. If the vacancy was there so long, then it means there will always be someone needed to do the job.

4. It is highly unlikely that a government department will not find a way to keep you, as long as you deliver!

 

So my advice is, get up in the morning, and tell yourself, this is the day that I need to shine.... then go out there and shine girl.... I am positive that they will move mountains to keep you there...

So stop stressing!... as that can have an impact on you too!

 

I am not sure if you are aware, but some years ago, they needed staff in the Defence Force. To be a member, at that time, you had to be an Australian Citizen. They brought the people in on a 457 with them having to do their orientation for the first three months. If they passed that, then their "citizenship" was fast tracked, you read right, not permanent residence, but citizenship....

 

And you worry about getting PR?

Edited June 8, 2016 by Mara

[Eyebrow]

So I have an ethical question...

 

I am still in contact with some people from my previous job. And so one of them sent me a whatsapp and said it would seem that "as we lose one south african, we get another". I asked for an explanation, and apparently someone else from RSA have applied for a job at the same place where I used to work. I was quite taken aback. Apparently a male in his 50's. Not someone I know personally, but someone I have heard of. 

 

So my question is: What do I do?

 

Things might be different for them, or not... They are unlikely to be in the same vulnerable position I was in, so they might be fine. I dont know.

 

Should I contact them? Or just leave things be?

If I do contact them, what do I actually say?

[RYLC]

Leave things be. Different personality, different position and being male means that the new person will have a different journey to you. Until you have PR I would keep out of anything to do with previous employer. 

[Mara]

@Eyebrow and @RYLC

 

Eyebrow, I can totally understand your dilemma.

 

RYLC, although I can understand, and agree, with your reply.... I am just a little perturbed!

 

This is a man of 50..ie he will be totally dependent on sponsorship from the company in order to get PR. At age 50, especially if he is giving up a job in RSA in order to accept this position, he could well be throwing his life away. If, and it is not a big "If" as we all know the hell that Eyebrow went through, this could totally bankrupt him, as at age 50 you do not have much time to sort your life out anymore, or get someone else to sponsor you.... employers tend to think you are over the hill. I do not think that it matters that the new employee is a male, this employer is into intimidation in a huge way, and the employee is totally dependent on him... so will still end up being intimidated...

 

Eyebrow, I do not know what I would do, as I am not in your position. I do think though, that if it was me, then I would whisper a quiet word in his ear, but nothing in writing. If he then still wishes to take the chance, then at least your conscience is clear.

 

I am not going to judge you either way.... just wanted to shed some light...

[Sunnyskies]

Eyebrow remember he may not need a 457. 

While I understand what Mara is saying I tend to agree with RYLC that his journey may not be the same as yours.  I would be cautious of contacting him he may speak to your previous employer who will simply blackball you as someone who had to leave and is bitter.

 

[RYLC]

Without giving anything away, I have worked out who Eyebrow's ex employer is - a narcissistic #$@%$ of note!!  It is for this reason that I say to leave it be.  He is very well connected with an EXTREMELY mean streak and until Eyebrow has PR, I would not make waves of any kind.  All advice about dealing with a narcissist are to become a "grey rock" where you are too boring and uninteresting for them.  Whispering in a stranger's ear without any knowledge of where their allegiance lies is too much of a risk for Eyebrow and her family.  The new guy just has to say to the boss from hell "Oh you'll never guess who phoned me". I should have probably explained previously that if you had PR then I'd say go for it to help the other guy.  If it's his only way out of RSA then he would probably still be willing to take the chance though.  

[Guest]

Hmm it is certainly a dilemma and one I wouldn't want to be in. I can see arguments for both sides as anyone would want to save this man from what you had to endure, and yet at the same time do you really want to get involved? It would have been better if you had not been informed by this former colleague at all. I'm not sure what I would do but all the best.

[SML]

I'm with RYLC & Sunnyskies. Do not contact him. You do not want to jeopardize your current position. I can understand why you would want to but don't. 

 

[Mara]

@Eyebrow and @RYLC   I stand corrected -  in the circumstances as explained by RYLC, I would not do it either.

Edited June 20, 2016 by Mara

[Kanniewagnie]

I'd say focus on your own journey.  Don't contact the guy.  He'll have to figure it out himself, just like you did.  If you do come in contact with him, you may tell him that if you knew what you know now before accepting that position, you wouldn't have.  Short and sweet without giving any details and if he presses you for details, just tell him you cannot go into it any further, because of the vulnerability of your Visa Status, but he must think carefully, because a 457 Visa is a huge risk if the work situation does not work out. 

[Eyebrow]

So I went to meet my 14y old son's English teacher at school the other day. She was positive about his progress, but he is getting C's. So I asked about what we could do to help him. And she said that in alot of his speaking there is a delay, as he tries to translate into English what he is thinking. So I said he is reading much more English than before, so I am not sure what else to do.

And then she looked at me and said:to tell you the truth, I think he would benefit greatly from speaking English at home so that he could learn to think in English on his feet.

I was taken aback. Speaking Afr at home is one of the things that keeps me sane! The last vestage of my identity so to speak!

We speak Eng to the younger 2. But it was a special bond with my eldest. 

 

What to do?

[RYLC]

My advice is to do both. Speak to eldest in Afrikaaans at specific times and English at others. If it was me I'd make English for meal times and make a point of discussing the day's events at dinner time so that he can practice his English. The rest of the time speak Afrikaans. Also when speaking Afrikaans I would throw in the odd English word along the lines of did you know that xyz is called abc in English? I do this to teach my kids Zulu and German and Afrikaans words. Just for fun to broaden their horizons. 

 

Id also pick an English TV program he likes and make a point of watching and discussing in English so that you know he understands.  Not sure what's on at the moment but my kids love Myth Busters. 

 

Also did the teacher explain that a "c" means that he is on par for his age group. It is not the abc grading of RSA. A "c" is satisfactory - a ghastly word in my book but here it means that your child is performing fine for his age group. A "b" is above average and an "a" is more than above average. So the average child should get a c for everything. It's not a system that I like because I am conditioned to want to see "a"'s but I'm getting used to it. 

[RYLC]

Also play word games with him. You say the Afrikaans word and he has to quickly fire back with the English word. This will build his vocab

[joweni]

Eyebrow-look at the big picture ( which most of my fellow teachers don't do and for that I do apologise) but thirty years in the classroom and an absolute love of teaching- a "C" in English for a second language speaker is just fine !! You would not believe how many first language speakers I have taught who cannot string a reasonable sentencence together,who don't read and generally just don't care. The fact that your child is bilingual and coping well in both languages speaks volumes. If in Yr 11/12 he needs to up his score to achieve Uni entrance, a good literacy  therapist would be they way to go. In the meantime celebrate your bilingualism as a family. Read in both languages, play games, make up stories and poems and play with language-that way you develop the overarching neural pathways which are essential to ALL learning.