Why is it so hard?

[Shaguftha]

Wow, I love Ganville's positive attitude to put it all so lightly that just need to sort out " small things like job ... House ... School. For me these are such major factors that is a major part of me facing the dilemma of relocating . All I can say is please share some of your positivity with me as I am a realist that constantly focuses on a worst case scenario and this is not always a good idea as you can end up not achieving those dreams. I'm still battling to manage those demons of the "what if " questions and then I get a little scared to take the plunge. How to get over this? Anybody with similar issues please share your advice and thoughts in this regard. I have done a pros and cons list and didn't help as I have the same amount of pros and cons . Now not sure what to do?

[Magenta]

Hey Eyebrow, I live in Perth and you just described how I feel about winter here. Live in bed or in front of the heater Bring back summer!!

[SandraDee]

hey Shaguftha,

I totally get where you are coming from. We have been wanting to go for 8 years now, waited 3 years for the visa to be approved, had the visa for 4 1/5 years, it expires in December and we are still talking ourselves out of going on a daily basis. It is so scary!!!! Like you, my husband is a pessimist and constantly thinks of all the things that can go wrong, .....we lose all our money, we dont find work, we cant get the kids into school, we find a school but the kids are unhappy.etc etc

Deep down we know going is the right thing to do...I think......but the reality of actually going is that much harder.

[GranvilleMay15]

Shaguftha....I am still very scared!!! Don't get me wrong...I have built up a busy practice with loads of patients and we live 1km from work...Sometimes I think this mmoving to Oz business is a mistake....But anyway you must not let fear stop you...as far I gather. ..If you do your research properly then it is less likely that you will not get a visa....I am lucky in that it seems there are vacancies in my profession everywhere in Oz. This makes me a lot more comfortable with the move....As someone currently making the move....my advice....Do it!

[Shaguftha]

Hey Ganville, thnx for the advice. If u don't mind me asking what profession are u in?

Sandra Dee I'm so glad to hear someone is in the same boat as me. I share all the same fears that your hubby does and u don't want to end up in a situation where u later regret your decision. I guess the fact that we older too doesn't make this decision any easier and my hubby is also on a guilt trip about leaving his elderly parents here although there are 6 other siblings and they fairly independent. He's also got fears about leaving everything he's achieved here as he is a businessman and wondering wot will he do in a foreign country at his age without a qualification.

[GranvilleMay15]

Hi Shaguftha....I am a Podiatrist

[Magenta]

Of those who have made the move over, there is a very small percentage that regrets doing it. Hands up, how many people have moved over and love it and have no regrets? *raises hand*

My only regret is not moving over sooner.

To those having doubts, you will not regret it. Life may not be easy for a year or possibly even 2 but you won't regret moving to Oz.

[dme]

@Shagufha.. I am also not convinced Australia is the right place to go. Like you I drew up pro's vs cons, and my list was equally weighted. Australia is just so frikking expensive and so far away from everything. Sometimes I wish it was possible to ask for a refund on my visa, so that I can take the option of going to Australia off the table. Unfortunately I suspect you will get a very one sided view on this forum, which will be to go to Australia, since that is what this forum is about.

[RedPanda]

@Shagufha.. Unfortunately I suspect you will get a very one sided view on this forum, which will be to go to Australia, since that is what this forum is about.

I actually agree with you on this. Nobody can help you to make up your mind, or make your choices in life. It's your life and you have to live it, and you are responsible for your own 'mind'. The main function of this forum is to help people with the process and reality of immigration to Australia. Just about everyone here is either busy immigrating or has immigrated or has family that have immigrated, to Australia. You are talking about a sample that has self-selected on the basis of thinking it's a good idea to move to Australia. The only things we can tell you is why we made the choice that we did. We have all(almost) made the choice already. Many people can tell you that they are doing fine and coping with the results of their choice well. Some people can tell you that it's difficult, and some people can tell you that they made a mistake. This only gives you more information. But you still have to make your own choice. If you don't play an active role in making the choice you will never be fully satisfied with the outcome, regardless of what you do.

Nobody else can tell you if immigrating to Australia will make you happy. Nobody can accurately tell you if you will find a job, because nobody knows. You have to think for yourself and decide for yourself.

[KarinWise]

This is one hard decision. It's a sad thing so many South Africans have to make it.

As much as I would like to say it was the right one, it was the wrong decision for me for many , many reasons.

3.5 years in I can say I have given it a fair chance, but I truly know it was the wrong decision made at a critical juncture in my life.

Leaving South Africa was not the mistake, coming to Australia was.

[GranvilleMay15]

KarenWise. ....may i ask why Australia was a mistake for you?

[qwerty]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

At the end of the day, I think coming to Australia should be seen as an adventure and a chance to grow as a person. If it works out, then great! If not, then there are other places you could go, including back to South Africa. We're all going to die one day, so I figure it is better to face your fears and live the best life you possibly can (wherever that may be).

You may find yourself one day regretting that you only stayed in one place (or not - who knows?).

[KarinWise]

Well, Granville,

It's a long story.......

My husband and I retired in South Africa at 54 and we were well off financially.

We would not have had to work again, house paid off etc.

We followed our daughters to Australia, realising that the cost of living is very high, and that we would have to work again.

We accepted this gladly to be close to them.

There are many reasons for our unhappiness.

Firstly, we are in Melbourne, and we just find the weather depressing. We love the sunshine, and the constant rain and drizzle is just not suitable for the life style we want to lead.

The alienation and loneliness are hard to bear. All our friends and family are in South Africa, we miss them dearly.

Except for my daughters , we have no real friends here, we do know some people, but we are not of that age group where you make friends with the parents where your children go to school etc. Also, you also cannot make old friends.

We started a business here, and we were sold a concept that sounded really suitable to our requirements at this stage of our lives.

Oh boy, did they see us coming!!!! It's not like we did not do our due-diligence, we had been in business in SA for 26 years.

Like they say, you do not know what you do not know!!! This business is not, and most likely never will, make any money. So, we are still living off SA rands. That is a scary prospect to say the least.

There is a very predetary sentiment in Australia when it comes to buying a business or doing business here. I sometimes feel people here take advantage of the ignorance of immigrants.

People beware-it's though out here.That taking advantage of immigrants often also happens in the work place.

Australia is also very bland-same same everywhere!!! It lacks passion, excitement and it's not what I would call vibrant. Just my opinion!

It is just not suited to my picture of what living a full life is all about.

We all know SA is in quite a bad place, and I do not think I would like to go back. Australia was not the right choice for me, and I wish somebody had been honest with me about the reality of living here from the start.

It's small, far from anything, sooooo expensive even if you are earning dollars. It's far from anything, and travelling inside the country costs an arm and a leg.

Accept that you will most likely live a very, very small life here.

I have family in Perth and Noosa, and they could not stop raving about Australia before we came.

Now they are leaving to go live in the USA, and tell me how much they dislike Aus.

It would have been nice if those sentiments were mentioned earlier. That is why I am being honest about my mistakes, so that other people can really think very hard about their decisions. It is specially hard when you are older-the younger you are the more readily you will adapt.

So, you guys that love Australia, I am sooooooooo envious of you. I have really tried to love it,but I do not think I ever will.

[Pell]

We started a business here, and we were sold a concept that sounded really suitable to our requirements at this stage of our lives.

Oh boy, did they see us coming!!!! It's not like we did not do our due-diligence, we had been in business in SA for 26 years.

Like they say, you do not know what you do not know!!! This business is not, and most likely never will, make any money. So, we are still living off SA rands. That is a scary prospect to say the least.

There is a very predetary sentiment in Australia when it comes to buying a business or doing business here. I sometimes feel people here take advantage of the ignorance of immigrants.

Karin,

May I ask what line of business you are in?

I also find that there is a quasi-predatory attitude towards immigrants here, a lot of people we have dealt with tried to take us for a ride: yes, they talk the talk and are friendly on the surface, but given half the chance they will rip you off. I guess that happens everywhere to a certain extent though... I also find that some people get offended if you don't trust them, or ask additional questions - only to find that there are better ways to do things or that they omitted certain details.

[BrendanH]

...just need to sort out " small things like job ... House ... School. For me these are such major factors that is a major part of me facing the dilemma of relocating . All I can say is please share some of your positivity with me as I am a realist that constantly focuses on a worst case scenario and this is not always a good idea as you can end up not achieving those dreams. I'm still battling to manage those demons of the "what if " questions and then I get a little scared to take the plunge. How to get over this?...

You don't. We got into ACT largely because my brother lives there and seeing 90% of the jobs in my field listed for citizens only literally keeps me awake at night.

It isn't easy but we will have to manage. There is no choice.

[KarinWise]

Hi Pell,

We were in advertising/marketing /printing in SA, and when we came here we decided to do the "safe" thing and go for a franchise. We figured it would give us some support while we found our feet.

As tempting as it was to go into the industry we were familiar with, it took us a long time to find blue chip clients in SA. It was not time we had on our side here.

We took on a 24 hour gym with high expectations and loads of promises. Don't get me wrong, the Australians are nice people, just not in business. And can they talk the talk!!!!!

Well, half the costs of running the business were not declared in the Confidentiality Agreement, and they were a rude shock! We have to find double the amount of members that we were led to believe we needed. The costs of running this business are astronomical!

Total mis-information from the Franchisor.

A fellow South African who started the same franchise in Sydney at the same time as me, has had to put his business into liquidation. He too, could not believe all the hidden costs of running this business.He is now sueing the Franchisor for misleading promises and mis-information.

So, South Africans, beware!!! I repeat-you do not know what you do not know!! And when you come here, you know nothing!! It's like being a five year old child again.

[RedPanda]

I know the Aussies are often fit people, who like to exercise but I also know that they can do it outside, in the city, or parks, which are free. So I would guess maybe there is a small niche for weight lifting gyms?

We did the 1000 steps trail and found so many people exercising there, and people run in Sydney during their lunch break, even in the CBD you see them.

It probably takes a longer time than anyone would like to get a proper feeling for the 'market'.

[Donovan83]

Firstly, we are in Melbourne, and we just find the weather depressing. We love the sunshine, and the constant rain and drizzle is just not suitable for the life style we want to lead.

I really think that this is a much bigger contributing factor to your unhappiness in Australia than you think. I was happy in Perth, Melbourne... not so much.

I had no idea how badly I'd be affected by Melbourne's absolutely AWFUL climate. I don't think people realise (I didn't) that it is almost never, ever sunny. It's not so much that it rains the whole time (it actually gets half the rain that perth does), it's just so goddamned gloomy and cloudy and COLD all the time.

I'm sticking around to experience it and to explore the east coast a bit, but in 2 to 3 more years I am definitely going back to Perth or to somewhere else that has a better climate, or at least has a summer that lasts more than one day.

[Jill]

@Karinwise, are you still looking at moving to Brisbane? I am also the type of person who needs good weather, sunshine, a bit of rain would be nice, We are in a serious drought at the moment in Central QLD, but the Winter weather is just beautiful, all the grey nomads are travelling up our way at the moment.

[KarinWise]

Hi Jill,

I am sooooo still looking to move up there!

I watch your weather report every day with envy.

It was so cold here in Melbourne today, I feel quite exhausted from all the bracing and shivering I have been busy with all day.

( spent a large part of the day outside)

As soon as I can, I am up there , either Brisbane or the Gold Coast . Everybody says I will hate the heat and humidity-I say-bring it on!

[SandraDee]

KarinWise everytime I read your posts I really have second thoughts about coming! I am panicking about giving up my friends, my home help, my bi-annual holidays, my family, my sense of 'knowing'. Reading this I sound shallow but it is what makes up my everyday life! We are late 40's and to start again just seems crazy!!!!

So confused! I just wish I could get a glimpse into the future to know what is in store (both here and there!) to make a more informed decision.

My husband can keep his business here after lots of negotiating which I thought was fantastic but taxes are horrendous there it seems- especially on dividends- and maybe all the ties to home makes it too simple to just give up and come home when the going gets tough!!

We are looking at Gold coast so at least sunshine is one positive I can tick off!!

[RedPanda]

@KarinWise
The climate that you like is a personal preference. My aunt and her whole family live in Brisbane, and they love it! She walks around in shorts and bare feet most of the time that she's at home, and does loads of gardening and they do all the improvements on their home themselves, including a deck, and a new outside gate. Obviously they aren't bothered by the heat at all. She sent me a picture of herself in a t-shirt gardening, when we were in Melbourne this June, and it was 10°C in the middle of the day for us on the same day! So if you think you like that kind of weather, just go for it!

For myself and my husband, we really like the cold and cloudy without rain. I'm a redhead, so I get physically uncomfortable in the African (and Australian) sun. Going outside between 10am and 4pm means I have to either wear sunscreen (which always becomes sticky and gross, or runs in my eyes, or smells weird...I hate it) or I have to wear cotton long sleeves and a hat, and probably long cotton pants too. And I really dislike sweating. So when we were in Scotland on honeymoon and the weather was pretty much what Melbourne gets in winter, I discovered that the only reason I didn't like hiking was the heat, and the dusty rocky bushveld landscapes. When we got to Melbourne on our LSD trip and again this winter, it was like I'd found a special little spot of the world that was just made for me.

So while you are yearning for the move to Brisbane, I am yearning for the move to Melbourne. To each their own. (That's what makes humans interesting, and why you'll find someone living in just about every climate on earth!) I really hope your things work out, so that you can get to the sunshine soon.

Edited August 17, 2015 by RedPanda

[DanieR]

When we went to Australia in 2007 it was much easier finding work. During my time as a Business Broker I realised how careful people need to be when buying a business, especially if you are not familiar with a new country and culture.

Personally I would not hesitate to go to Australia if I am young and energetic to build a new career, without to many responsibilities. If I am older I will only go if I am sure of a well job, or can afford to live of savings or a passive income.

Just my opinion!

[RedPanda]

DanieR, are there any other countries that you would recommend instead? Because it's getting painfully obvious that RSA is going nowhere, and taking its sweet time getting there.

Edited August 17, 2015 by RedPanda

[KarinWise]

Hi guys,

I really do not want to put anyone off Australia, it's just my personal opinion, and Australia has not "clicked" for me.

I know the weather has a massive impact on me personally, that is why I am prepared to give Brisbane a try.

I just think it's more than that. Some places in the world, you just love, and others, you just don't.

To give up your whole life and all you hold dear, to come to a place you do not love, is a hard pill to swallow.

On top of that, to pay the massive re-location costs, and the cool R 1 million for your visa, you realise just what a huge mistake you have made.

To go back? Well, my husband has some massive health problems, and to get back on a medical aid scheme in SA is expensive, plus you have that "waiting period" before benefits kick in. What if he has problems in that period?

We have lost so much money with the visa costs, relocation and living off the rand here, we would have to go back and work or start a business.To start a business in SA is even more scary than starting one in Australia.

So, we are "stuck" here. I will never have the comfort of my loving friends and family again. This I have accepted, not easily or happily .

But it's even more than that, it's a feeling of waking up every day and never feeling like myself, and never feeling that things are alright for you in the world for that day.

There are too many things that I do not identify with.

Life and business is so different in this country, and not in a good way.

I could go on about what does not resonate with me in this country-I do not want to bore anyone.

Everybody must make their own decisions , but they might not always be the right ones.