Anyone gone back to SA? How do you find it

[RICHARD-CINDY]

Hi there,

My wife and i have been in Sydney for 4 years and get our citizenship in the coming months.

We ahve had a wonderful time here but the call of Africa has been extremely strong since we had a baby.

Not having close friends and family close is challenging.

We are seriously considering moving to Cape Town end of the year.

Has anyone else moved back? How has it been? Do you have any regrets?

We know SA is not perfect but there is a soul to the country that seems to really be pulling us.

Cheers

[GottaGo]

Skype wasn't going to be much use for me when I received the call to say my mother had terminal cancer and was given "weeks" to live. Thankfully I was able to fly home immediately (not knowing for how long I would need to be there) and she passed away just short of 3 weeks later.

I have been in Australia for 5 years next month and not a day goes by without me wishing I was back home. I feel like I am stagnating here and I need the joy & vibrancy that is life in Cape Town. Living here, for me, is like being in a coma.

I'm quite sure Richard & Cndy won't post here again because everyone will tell them they are mad, irresponsible and stupid for moving home. Don't bother telling me that. I know where I want to be. Watching my mother die made me realise I am not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of NOT living the life I need to.

It is amazing how few people REALLY post how they feel once they get here. Have you noticed?

Anyway, good luck to you all.

[Lyn]

The Martins, I get it. I never understood how people arrived here and after a few days were settled and loving Aussie life. It wasnt like that for me.

What is stopping you going back ? Five years is a long time in Aus to still feel like this. My first year in Australia was the saddest year of my life. I am settled now, it took at least 3 years.

I really hope you can find some happiness - whether thats in Aus or back in SAfrica.

[heidim]

It is amazing how few people REALLY post how they feel once they get here. Have you noticed?

I agree with you. People who are unhappy usually don't post. Do you know how I got to this forum? When deciding whether or not to immigrate, I googled "going back to RSA". The first night of our LSD trip I wanted to go back to RSA - seriously. I didn't even want to think about living here. We're now 3 months here and counting. I still find it difficult away from "home". Christmas I remembered how the whole family used to be together, New Year the same, yesterday I thought would've been my first day back at work after the holidays in RSA (I loved my job back in RSA). When I'm having a difficult day, I can't just pick up the phone and call my mum like I used to - the 8 hrs difference means we don't get to talk to each other that often, mainly over weekends, but weekends are the only times you get to go out as family together. So talking to family doesn't happen that often anymore. And it hurts me deeply.

Luckily I have a want-to-go-back-to-RSA-right-now-friend and we keep encouraging each other.

My kids are the happiest kids on the block. If I ask my 4 year old if she wants to go back to RSA, she tells me I can go back by myself, she's staying.

So yes, I guess I have to give it another 3 or 10 years. But I'm damn well gonna try. I've made the choice to come here, not my children, now I have to make the choice that I'm going to be happy. Is it easy? No. But I will battle that battle until I am happy. And I'm sure one day I'll just realise that I'm not battling anymore - or so I hope....

[Springjock]

I'm sorry but I cannot relate to anyone who says living in Australia is without joy and vibrancy. What does CPT have that any of the big cities in Australia doesn't? Where in Australia are you living, that you feel you are in a coma? Are you in the Outback?

I moved from Joburg to Adelaide, which is supposed to be a sleepy place, but there is more happening here in one month than a whole year in Joburg!

By all means, go back to South Africa if you'd rather live there. That's your choice and it deserves respect, but to say that living in Oz is like being in a coma is totally unfair.

[Mikej]

The Martins you were doing so well until you said:

It is amazing how few people REALLY post how they feel once they get here. Have you noticed?

You don't really believe you know how the rest of us feel do you?

[heidim]

By all means, go back to South Africa if you'd rather live there. That's your choice and it deserves respect, but to say that living in Oz is like being in a coma is totally unfair.

People experience things differently, and if it feels to The Martins that they are living in a coma, then that is their lived experience. It doesn't mean every person immigrating is feeling/will be feeling the same, but it doesn't make their feelings any less valid. I think The Martins mean that RSA has a different type of joy and vibrancy.

I experience lots of joy here in Oz, but it is a different kind of joy than what I had in RSA.

[Springjock]

Heidi, that isn't what Martins meant at all. The post was clearly a dig at Australia, followed by an insinuation that people aren't really happy here. Mike picked up on this too.

[OubaasDik]

Skype wasn't going to be much use for me when I received the call to say my mother had terminal cancer and was given "weeks" to live. Thankfully I was able to fly home immediately (not knowing for how long I would need to be there) and she passed away just short of 3 weeks later.

I have been in Australia for 5 years next month and not a day goes by without me wishing I was back home. I feel like I am stagnating here and I need the joy & vibrancy that is life in Cape Town. Living here, for me, is like being in a coma.

I'm quite sure Richard & Cndy won't post here again because everyone will tell them they are mad, irresponsible and stupid for moving home. Don't bother telling me that. I know where I want to be. Watching my mother die made me realise I am not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of NOT living the life I need to.

It is amazing how few people REALLY post how they feel once they get here. Have you noticed?

Anyway, good luck to you all.

Funny that word "home". I AM home.

I also seem to remember that the favourite meme on the HCR site is missing the "vibe".

Well I see this was his / her 61st post, so I can't accuse him / her of registering to stir.

I sincerely wish you all the best - me - I'm home.

[Sunnyparadise]

Unless you a city boy, get out of Sydney and come to Western Australia. We live in Bunbury and when we touched down and started our life here, it just feels like home. The west is so much more friendly and pioneering. We are so happy here. I love it more more more than I could ever have loved Africa cause I know that us and our kids are part of building a great new nation.

It feels free and wild and my Dad was just over from the Eastern Cape and he said, if he could he would move her tomorrow. Our nearest suburb is 20% ex-SA and I've not met anyone who doesn't love it. Everyone here just loves where they live, excellent jobs, drive our vehicles on the beach, great Christian schools, live on acreage if you choose, no traffic. My Dad just kept saying, this is like South Africa was 30 years ago. He couldn't believe how friendly our neighbours were, how we leave our doors and cars unlocked... he was just blown away. he is an astute businessman who is making a lot of money in SA but he said - you've done the right thing, there is no future in SA anymore and this where the future is.

I have such a passion for this place that sometimes I actually want to cry.

Most people don't go back and post how they feel when they get here cause they are too busy getting on with their own life.

If you not happy come here cause all the ex-SAffers are happy and they watch the sun set over the sea with a smile on their face. Every new yr's eve, a whole lots of us sleep on the beach with our vehicles watching the kids board down the dunes and frolic in the sea till the early hrs.

I live in England before and I have 3 children. I know what it's like to live without family - but either you go now for the sake of your kids, or else you will end up in SA and your kids will be here missing you. My children love it here so much that my son actually suggested to me the other day that the queen should come and live here because 'She would love it SO MUCH'.

Edited January 8, 2013 by Sunnyparadise

[Springjock]

The whole 'vibe' thing is ANC propaganda at its finest. It's the whole simunye/we are one nation/ let's pick 5 friends of different races and go and drink Castle, kind of nonsense that doesn't happen in real life.

There is most definitely a 'vibe' in South Africa, but it's not one I particularly like.

[Toitjie]

Each city has a different vibe and I think one cannot judge a country by one city's vibe. If I emmigrated from somewhere to South Africa and I landed in Bloemfontein (no offense) I would have been miserable (just making a point, it can be any city). but for the same token, if I landed in Cape Town I could have been very happy. I think if you land in Oz the same principle applies, if you are not happy with that particular town, move to another town, before moving back. Maybe the feel of the town, the people, the "vibe" (sorry SJ) , the activities etc of a different town is more what one might have been looking for....

[AndreaL]

Having been on this forum for a number of years I have read many posts from people who were unhappy, especially in the first year and even two or three later, it's perfectly natural that everyone takes a different amount of time to adjust and for some people they simply cannot adjust and if they feel the need to go back, that is their right.

For the most part, the forum members are supportive, yet cautious ( encouraging people to get p.r. Or citizenship before they go back, or to give things more time).

My point about Skype was made because in the 80's when we arrived in South Africa we didn't even have a telephone at first, so bad news like a death in the family was conveyed through a telegram, so to be able to Skype the family in RSA or the family in the UK or the family in Ireland is a wonderful blessing that technology has afforded.

We lived for a few years in Namibia, if I had received a call that my father was ill it would have taken me probably 10 hours to drive there.....not so very different from a 9 hour flight from Perth.

Obviously The Martins is very unhappy here....why do that to yourself? If you are so unhappy talk to someone, your spouse, a therapist, someone on the forum.

I think people are very honest on this forum. Gosh, I was very unhappy when we arrived, but that was mostly because our financial situation was dire, we couldn't go back even if we wanted to because we couldn't afford it and were too proud to ask family for help........We had to make it work, and it was hard work, but I'm so glad I did, maybe my pride is what holds me up when times are hard, but I am grateful every day that I stuck it out because I am so happy and at home here.

As a point of reference, I hated South Africa when we emigrated there from the UK when I was 13. I hated the politics, the stuffy attitudes, the snobbery, the materialism....this went on for years, and then one day I realised I didn't hate it quite as much, and then only occasionally, and then not at all. I had friends, good memories, good times. Still, I went back to the UK when I was 21, and it wasn't easy to start all over there again, but eventually the same things happened....connections, friends, a sense of belonging....

Life simply isn't a straight road, and each of our journeys is different, some get to the destination quickly and without incident, still others take the long hard route and encounter many pot holes and obstacles along the way, but if it is ultimately something you want, you do get there.

Many of us have felt like Richard and Cindy and it is part curiosity ( wondering if they are going through the same difficulties you did) and part philanthropy ( can I help, how can I share my experience, how can I make this person feel better) or simply just an attempt to understand so that we might recognise if similar things happen to us, that causes so many of us to reply.

[GottaGo]

Sorry, yes, I am TOTALLY miserable. I know most of you love it here. It is not for us and yes, we will be leaving as soon as we can wrap up our lives and get out. I will update you all as and when we do so.

[OubaasDik]

Sorry, yes, I am TOTALLY miserable. I know most of you love it here. It is not for us and yes, we will be leaving as soon as we can wrap up our lives and get out. I will update you all as and when we do so.

One question, if I may? Are you getting citizenship and Aussie passports before you go?

[AndreaL]

Sorry, yes, I am TOTALLY miserable. I know most of you love it here. It is not for us and yes, we will be leaving as soon as we can wrap up our lives and get out. I will update you all as and when we do so.

Then that is what you need to do, I suppose my question would be why wait 5 years, but obviously you have your reasons.

Good luck, I really do believe that when we share our experiences, good and bad, that other people do benefit.

[Donovan83]

I'm sorry but I cannot relate to anyone who says living in Australia is without joy and vibrancy. What does CPT have that any of the big cities in Australia doesn't? Where in Australia are you living, that you feel you are in a coma? Are you in the Outback?

I moved from Joburg to Adelaide, which is supposed to be a sleepy place, but there is more happening here in one month than a whole year in Joburg!

By all means, go back to South Africa if you'd rather live there. That's your choice and it deserves respect, but to say that living in Oz is like being in a coma is totally unfair.

I remember being nervous about moving to Perth, since it also has a reputation for there being no nightlife or having nothing interesting happen - it's a heck of a lot more vibrant and interesting than Joburg where it was just endless malls, cinemas and casinos. I think Australia in general and Perth specifically are great places to live.

I've been quiet on the forum over the last few weeks so I hope nobody has the same view that the reason behind that is unhappiness and dissatisfaction with the move - quite the opposite actually, even with the difficulties of being away from my loved ones and of setting up a new life in a new country. Honestly though, I've also had the days where I question whether I should just go back since actually in the short term that will be much easier. Sometimes I do wonder if this is even worth it - but I think that a visit back to good old SA in April this year will probably be a good reminder of all the reasons I'm here and not there. Not sure about anyone else, but I've VERY quickly gotten used to being able to do simple things like go to the beach and leave my stuff there while I go swim, or go for a ride on my bicycle at 11pm at night if I feel like it... etc etc.

I don't know about anyone else but I'm quite gatvol of whether SA or Australia is better. Who cares? It's a personal choice - just live where you're happy. If you're happy in Cape Town, go back and be happy there. Also - if you move to Australia and you're happy, but then later change your mind and want to live in SA instead (whether your started there or not), do it! Nobody but you really cares where you live.

[CherylC]

Sorry, yes, I am TOTALLY miserable. I know most of you love it here. It is not for us and yes, we will be leaving as soon as we can wrap up our lives and get out. I will update you all as and when we do so.

Just out of curiosity - where in Australia do you live? I'm not being funny with that question, but I am in general a gatherer of information and curious, and would just like to know. We are planning to move to Adelaide (about April 2013) and trying to be as realistic as possible about everything.

In fact, my husband left today for Australia for some interviews,etc. When he comes back, I will have to see Australia through his eyes at first. Fortunately we do already have our PRs since August 2012.

We are looking forward to our move and it was a decision for ourselves as we do not have children. Yes, it is scary and it took us about 4 or 5 years to finally decide!

I do appreciate visiting this forum and seeing that people are honest and DO have their tough times, but if they work at it - and maybe it involves attitude towards being in Australia - that they DO have good times as well. That's life!

Good luck to GottoGo! Hope you make the best decision for YOU!

Edited January 8, 2013 by CherylC

[rozellem]

Then that is what you need to do, I suppose my question would be why wait 5 years, but obviously you have your reasons.

Good luck, I really do believe that when we share our experiences, good and bad, that other people do benefit.

Just guessing here, but most people I have heard of going back have done so after gaining citizenship. I personally think, even the most gung ho returnees know, at some level that its a matter of time before the s#!t hits the fan, so need at exit plan.

[OubaasDik]

Just guessing here, but most people I have heard of going back have done so after gaining citizenship. I personally think, even the most gung ho returnees know, at some level that its a matter of time before the s#!t hits the fan, so need at exit plan.

That was the gist of my question.

[Springjock]

Cheryl, there are about 5000 Saffers in Adelaide. I know a few and they all love it. Frankly, I don't know how anyone could NOT like it.

[GottaGo]

Great if you like it here BUT the thing that I don't understand is that this section of the website is called "Going Back". It's not called "We love it here, so if you don't love it then go home already and stop yapping about it".

So many folks come over to this section of the site and get their panties in a twist when someone mentions that they are unhappy and want to go home. Even I am off track on this thread because it was posted by someone asking if anyone had gone home and had they regretted it.

Just saying.

[Gizmo]

My opinion of the whole immigration thing:

There are three types of situations

1. A small percentage of people step off the plane like they are returning home - they just settle from the get-go and don't ever look back. As unbelievable as it sounds, there are people like this - we are an example. I expected hubby to settle easily as he is European and has immigrated a few times before, but in my case, I fully expected to battle as I lived my whole childhood in one City, grew up in the same house (never moved), went to one school from sub A to matric etc. Change was something I was completely inexperienced with. I have no idea how I managed to settle so easily (we have been here over 4 years, so I think it is safe to assume I am not in the honeymoon period still). It was probably a combination of factors - most of our friends started leaving SA after us, we made friends easily on this end, our lifestyle improved both financially and in terms of range and choice etc etc. BUT, I am keenly aware that we are in the extreme minority.

2. A large percentage of people move over here and really struggle to settle, but eventually do.

3. Finally another small percentage of people move over here and never manage to settle - either they try to make the best of it or they return to SA. Again, as with my category 1, these people do actually exist and their reasons for going back are 100% genuine and real. Aus is not for everyone and immigration is not for everyone. Australia is not SA, it is very different and for some people that difference is not something that can be embraced.

Best of luck to those returning - in a way, you are lucky as you have the means and the guts to change your situation.

Edited January 9, 2013 by Gizmo

[Springjock]

GottaGo, there is nothing wrong with people going back to SA. Problems occur when people blame their decision to go back on something Australia has wrong with it. It aint perfect, but its as good as you'll get anywhere in the world.

If someone says "I can't live without my SA family" then fair enough, but when people starting talking nonsense about there not being a 'vibe' about Australia, it gets my back up and others too.

[GottaGo]

Vibrancy. I said, vibrancy. I find suburban Perth on day to day basis is not vibrant. You see, you are very PRO Australia and I am not.

We are not allowed to leave for disliking Australia. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?????

Now that "gets my back up".

Don't read this section: you don't want to go back. Why do you keep reading this section?

Edited January 9, 2013 by GottaGo

[Springjock]

Calm down. I think vibe and vibrancy is the same thing, don't you? Certainly in this context.

It's a bit silly to tell me what forums I should read and what I shouldn't. That's missing the point of internet forums such as this.

I'm sorry you are miserable and I can't relate to your reasons, but I hope you find what you are looking for in Boksburg (or wherever you are going) and that you will offer South Africans who want to live here, a balanced view of Australia.

Best of luck