Anyone gone back to SA? How do you find it

[RICHARD-CINDY]

Hi there,

My wife and i have been in Sydney for 4 years and get our citizenship in the coming months.

We ahve had a wonderful time here but the call of Africa has been extremely strong since we had a baby.

Not having close friends and family close is challenging.

We are seriously considering moving to Cape Town end of the year.

Has anyone else moved back? How has it been? Do you have any regrets?

We know SA is not perfect but there is a soul to the country that seems to really be pulling us.

Cheers

[jas1]

Whereabouts in the UK did you stay? Just trying to get a feel for what it was that didn't work for you.

[Katerina]

Just spent the day in Manly today - was great. If you keen to meet up for a coffee or a beer next time we there let me know... we stay close by.

Cheers

Cathy

[Katerina]

Just spent the day in Manly today - was great. If you keen to meet up for a coffee or a beer next time we there let me know... we stay close by.

Cheers

Cathy

[DebbieB]

The first couple of years with a baby are difficult anyway so do not let that be your main reason for going back. When your little one is more independent perhaps that draw will not be as strong. We are now in Aus for just over a year and yes, sometimes the lack of family is very difficult but I just keep thinking about what will be best for the future of my child. The times you need that family are very little in comparison of everyday life. Looking after the baby for a couple of hours would be a great help but what about the rest of the time and your day to day life. Where is the best place to be doing that. Perhaps you need to move to somewhere else in Aus. I find the time my family comes to visit for 2 to 3 weeks at a time is of more value to me than it is having them around all the time as we get to spend quality time together for all the time they are here.

[Springjock]

I can't imagine being in the position where you have gone back to South Africa and something horrible has happened to your child. Sure, bad things can happen anywhere in the world, but the odds of it happening in SA are WAY higher than most places.

I just can't see myself ever saying "Oh well, it was worth it, at least we're surrounded by family."

Nope, as hard as it can be at times, health and safety is just not worth the risk, in my opinion. A broken heart can be mended, but a gunshot to the head is forever.

[joweni]

So sad to have to live like that. After 7 years in Oz I had almost forgotten that we too used to live behind bars-everything locked and gated and alarmed.

Now I am getting a bit too complacent and my Ozzzie friends get cross with me BUT twice I have left my keys in the front door overnight-oops. My husband who has a mobile workshop left the cab lights on in the truck one night. People down the road drove passed,noticed,used his phone number on the door of the vehicle and gave him a ring.............. I walk our dog every evening and now with winter approaching- its quite dark but i never feel unsafe-people greet you as they are walking past,comment on the weather,wish you a"G'day" I walk on the beaches here in Adelaide at sunset by myself. Drive from one end of town to the other and with just a bit of common sense never find it to be scary

.Yes we do have crime and in Adelaide last year there was the horrific murder of a South African man and his in-laws.Absolutely terrible but the person responsible was caught ASP, has been tried and will be sentenced soon. His widow thanked the police for their support throughout the whole devastating process.

It is a wonderful place to live,work and bring up kids. I am so thankful i have had the chance to come here-almost didn't;t make the move as the thought of having to start from scratch was overwhelming but NO REGRETS .

[monsta]

Its a decision I could only make if the following things were in place

1) crime levels drop the point that I would not worry about being a victim, or a loved one being a victim, on a daily basis.

2) society changes to the extent that life is cherished and regarded above all other material things

3) that society and the business sector reflects true democratic and non-discriminatory principles.

4) that life and society is such that I can see a happy and productive future for my son.

I sincerely hope this day comes, but I just cant see it.

Agreed, that day isn't coming soon. Consider Australia, the government has released discussion documents talking about how Australia ultimately needs the right caliber of people to migrate.

I guess what that means Australia wants people, who when the chips are down, will make the tough decisions to keep Australia prosperous in the long term.

Its easy to vote for the ANC when they say they can fix poverty. That implies that the voters don't have to make sacrifices to get a better life. The ANC even promise they can do it quickly! So the poor get all they could want, without doing more than putting an X on a piece of paper.

I guess in some crazy, round about way, people who vote ANC for those reasons are the very people the Australian government doesn't want to migrate.

Perhaps South Africa needs more people who are willing to sacrifice so the next generation can have just a little bit more...

Cheers

Paul

[Tim & Abby]

Hi there, Richard and Cindy

We have been here just over three years (Melbourne) and our child is 2.5. We went back briefly to Cape Town on a holiday when he was 1.5, mainly so he could meet his great-granny. It was lovely seeing family and friends, but it cemented for us that we don't want that lifestyle anymore. We were very afraid that something would happen to us or to our son. We'd forgotten about the bars and fences and car locks, and the level of awareness you operate at to feel safe.

For us, the advantages of being close to family would ultimately not outweigh the concerns we have about personal safety. We love being able to leave the doors unlocked and knowing that we can go anywhere and feel relaxed and safe. In the long-term, we want our little one to have a decent education and opportunities, and we feel that he has the best chance of that in Australia.

If I had some advice for you while you're making the decision, I'd suggest finding a good childcare centre for bub (formal or home-based - lots of options) - you may be amazed at how much they enjoy it and you meet parents as they make friends, so the playdates are good fun too. This also gives you a bit of a break - whether you want to work a bit, or just get some time for yourself to take stock and enjoy Sydney and the way of life here.

Best of luck, and congrats on the little one - they are fabulous and it just gets better!

[Guest May]

Hi Enrica, On the ground here I feel the very way you explain. My hubby always saying the ppl coming back and I keep saying its not the same place. I agree about how kids change your perspective and waiting for the penny to drop for my grown nephews and nieces, they are also the reason I want to make this change bec they will need it in the long run. Also what I want to say is that my beef with the country is that the govt rejects the very ppl that are contributing to the economy, and the ppl trying to 'redeem' themselves bec of their heritage doing all the charitable work, what a waste of time......you can shed blood and they wont give you a moments thought...and a lot of good samaritans esp from the churches have and their deaths have been noted in the newspaper maybe.

[PrissyMissy]

Hi Richard-Cindy

I feel your pain. I had a baby exactly 1 year after landing in NZ (we had been trying for a baby for many years, but were told it would not happen) - and to make matter worse for us - I became sick four weeks after our baby was born, and we had a 4 1/2 year old as well to take care of. I was bed ridden for just on three years and lots of specialist bills, hospital bills, surgery, medications and the list goes on, and so did the costs - we are still paying off today.

We thought about going back to SA, but we kept saying to what - and to make matters worse, we were not settling in NZ for many reasons, we almost split up because of all the pain and guilt (my husband not being able to afford all the bills) (me being of no use, because I was tooooooo sickly).

I thought if we went back, we would have more support and family and friends to help - but what would we go back to - the crime we left behind, the stress we left behind, having to buy a smaller home in a worse area (because at the time financially we were worse off than in SA due to medical bills).

My sister returned to SA 2 years ago from the UK(after being away for 10 years) to live in the same area, with 2 small children - she is scared out of her mind now and stressed all the time. And she lives in Tableview, Cape Town - which was a good area 10 years ago.

I know it is hard - but bring the parents out for a visit if you can - don't endanger your life, or the life of your precious child.

We have just passed the 5 year mark in NZ, and become citizens next week - and now we are thinking about Australia - but no longer South Africa.

We have struggled to form close friendships, mainly because of my sickness - but with my health finally improving - we are hoping that in Australia we can start a new and improved life to the one we are currently living in New Zealand.

Pm me if you need to talk - the isolation is the worst and so is the depression that follows.

[JellyTots]

Hi Richard and Cindy

I feel for you. At the end of the day, the decision is yours and only you know what is best for your family.

My parents moved to Austraila over 40 years ago, with 2 little girls. They were in Aus for 3 years and while they were there, I was born. They too missed family and with a new baby decided to move back to SA. My father said that the minute he set foot on SA soil he realised that he had made the biggest mistake of his life, (SA was not even in a bad place then). He has always regretted moving back to SA and tried, unsuccessfully, to move us all back to Aus again.

Now nearly 40 years later, I am about to embark on that same journey back to Aus, much to my father's absolute delight. Thankfully my children are older (12 and 9) and they have been privilaged to have formed incredible bonds with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Sadly, I don't know if we will ever be able to get my parents to Australia to live and it breaks my heart. Not only is it a huge distance between them and their grandchildren, but it is also my father's dream to live again in Australia. All we can do is make sure that my children have as much interaction via skype and other technology as possible with my family here in SA.

My parents are already saving to come for their first visit

I agree with previous posts, first get your citizenship, it is a precious gift.

All the very best with your decision, but don't let anyone make you feel bad for whatever choice it is that you make at the end of the day.

J

[Dedrei]

Hi Richard & Cindy

I can totally relate to you. We arrived in 2006 only hubby and I. Our little girl was born in 2009. Let me tell you it was HARD very hard, no family around for support and none of the family have met her before our first trip back with her in 2010 when she was 15m old. Once we went back with her to visit, I just realised there is no way that I can raise her there. The freedoms we have here is just unbelieable and the safety another major thing. Yes it was all nice and comfy having family around, but it wasn't home that's for sure. Now we are expecting bubby #2 and our aussie is now 3 years old. Life couldn't be any better, we bought and build our house and finally settled down. I still have days where I a miss the family HEAPS and it breaks my heart that my mum and the other grandma can't spend more time with them. They have only seen her once, on that visit in 2010. She is missing out on having grandparents close by and aunties and uncles, but our sacrifice in moving here was for her and her baby sister. We are here in Aus because we wanted to provide the best possible future for them and a safe one at that too.

I know this is a very emotional driven decision, but please just stick it out for a couple more months and it DOES get better. I promise!! I would suggest Cindy joins up with some mothers group and get involved in the community. There are quite a few mums out there in sorta similar situations with family being interstate etc.

Please if you ever need to send me an email for advise or assistance please don' t hesitate dedrei (@) saaustralia.org

Good luck and all the best

D

[Wantbetter]

Hi Richard & Cindy

I feel for you. Our child was just under 2 years old when we came over in 2009. We found it really hard not to have a support system around us, no time to go out and leaving him with our parents like we used to do, etc. Babysitters as you know are $20 an hour, so a movie night becomes impossibly expensive. We ended up never talking to each other anymore and drifting apart, always just talking about our child and the frustration of sitting at home each night, as there's not much to do in the evenings with a 2-year old. Anyway, long story short we ended up divorced.

We are/were quite close to my parents and lived 5km from them in SA and my mum looked after my son until we emigrated, so needless to say weekends were spent with them and a lot of week nights. It was a big adjustment to suddenly lose that support. For people still in SA, please don't underestimate how much that support of friends and family means.

Re. going back, that too has crossed our minds, but reading the forum and news24 and how desperate people want to get out does make you think twice. We forget all the bad things and only remember the good, and yes, missing the family and friends is a biggy (especially since NO friends have visited in 3 years, despite what they said before we left SA, so don't count on it).

For the people still in SA, until you have been away from family and friends for a few years, you won't know the impact on your lives, so don't judge their consideration of a return. We all hit the bumps every few months, wanting to go back. I feel even more guilty our parents who only has one grandchild whom they love dearly, and only see once or twice every two years. Unfortunately, we knew this sacrifice had to be made and one or two generations to suffer, before we will pull through and actually be Australians.

Wish our family could come over and share this country (and its warts) with us. Feeling for you xxxooxxx

[Samlavis]

Dear Richard and Cindy,

The decision that you have to make is an enormous one and I wish you the best of luck.

My family and I moved to New Zealand in 2008 at the height of the recession ( being willfull and just plain stupid, we never paid any attention to the news believing that it would never affect us). My husband had a job offer from a very good international company and we had our work to residence visas and life was good.

Unfotunately one month after we arrived my husband was retrenched. We tried to stick it out - so to say, for the next 6 months but ultimately took the decision to return to SA 9 months later as nobody would hire us as we were not residents. It was a horrid decision to have to take especially with 2 little children who were devastated at having to return. I can honestly say though that at the time it was for the best.

South Africa has been very good to us and has looked after us while we licked our wounds for the last 3 years. We are now on our way to Perth in July and god willing we will not have to return here again.

South Africa is not a bad place, 80% of us we live in our little cages and crime does not affect us, unfortunately for the other 20% of the people have their lives destroyed by heinous crime. I am a practising medium ( practising nationally and internationally for 10 years ), I do alot of work with both the local doctors and police as well as rape wise and the crimes that I have seen comitted are terrible.

Unfortunately the SA justice system is in an upheavel and the criminals tend to outnumber the police 50/1 ( just guessing). Most crimes are not reported as people do not bother any more knowing that it is not going to help them.

The cost of living here is incredibly expensive - our living expenses for a family of 4 in Benoni are R 40 000 per month and that is with the kids in public school, no domestic help and no luxuries.

We are leaving now not because of the crime or the cost but because of the freedom and the will to live and experience life which sadly we cannot do in our little cages here. Yes we can go to the shops and buy the fancy clothing but we cannot walk our dogs after 6 pm and taking a stroll to the shops is put of the question. For your children playing in the local park will be a reality that they never experience in SA.

Ours has been an incredibly costly venture, one that I shall never regret. I hope that reading about lur experience may help you somewhat before you make your decision.

Good Luck

Kind regards.

[Niel&Isabel]

We went to Australia on 11 November 2011. I had a 457 Visa, working for a company in Perth. We (Myself, Wife 3 children, Boy 19y, Dauther 17y and youngest son 14y) where very exited at our new venture, how ever in December 2011 reallity set in, every one wanted to come back to South Africa after only 6 weeks in Perth, which we did.

We arrived back in South Africa on 24 December 2011, with nothing exept our clothing and a half of a 12 meter container which we managed to stop before it left for Perth.

It took us 6 months to get back on our feet and strange enough, we sat down a few weeks ago and now the family feels that we should have stayed in Australia.

We had freedom in Australia, we where save.

Life in Australia is not easy, yes you miss family and friends and everything is expensive, BUT you are safe in Australia and public service work in Australia, Tax money is spend in the right places.

You won't have the freedom to do things in RSA that you are use to doing in Australia, things like:

1) Take a ride with you bicycle or a run down the road.

2) Use Public transport

3) Good eduction for your kids, unless you go for private schools

4) Clean parks, good roads, working street lights, good service from suppliers

5) Very little crime.

Remember also, that when you return to South Africa, you won't have the following:

1) Credit Record

2) 3 Months Bank Statements

3) 3 Months Payslips

You will need to buy a car cash, since no one will give you Car Finace without 3 Months Bankstatements and a patslip and prove of adress.

I am not trying to make South Africa look bad, it is a nice country, but Australia is much beter, the system works there, you can trust people again and do things that you can't do in South Africa anymore.

Take a trip back to RSA, on a holiday if you can afford it, you will see the difference and make the right dissitions.

[VivienneAustralia2011]

Hi,

We are about to move to Australia from SA and boy its a big decision. But I would say to you go back to the reasons why you moved in the first place and try keep those reasons at the forefront of your decision. Although i have no experience of living in Oz besides a months LSD in november last year, I can say this: We live in a small village , considered to be one of the safest in SA , and our community stands together and is always there to help. This doesn't however stop me thinking every night when I go to bed is tonight our "turn", or waking up in the middle of the night thinking have I locked the kitchen door properly ? Going through in my mind repeatedly every night what i would do in the event that we had intruders , how would i protect my children etc . When I'm at work during the day I am constantly wondering if my young daughter is okay at home with the nanny , if i should phone and find out , heaven forbid if the nanny doesn't answer the phone! thats the short list I could go on forever .

I sincerely think that it is not right that we even have to have these thoughts. The government has absolutely no interest in looking after us , we pay exorbitant amounts for medical aid every month, eskom bills increase by 30% practically every month and the small percentage of employed people are carrying the entire country . I have struggled a lot with the decision to take my kids away from their Grandparents, cousins , aunties etc but in the decision is actually an easy one . Last night our elderly neighbour and granddaughter were tied up and gagged and tormented and the intruders left with one jacket, but have left their lives in turmoil.

Good luck with your decision and I hope you make the best one for your family.

[Bronwyn&Co]

@ Vivienne, that is so sad to hear about your neigbour. It makes me so angry.

But sometimes living in Australia feels like me & my family have been moved to a witness protection program, because every little thing is different, strange & foreign.

But we have to do it.

[Niel&Isabel]

Hi guys,

We left South Africa to go to Perth Australia in November 2011, we really had high expectations, but when we got to Perth, we found it very difficult to adapt. After 2 months later we dicided to return to South Africa, what a BIG mistake!

Wel we are now back in South Africa for 6 months and guess what? we can't adapt to South Africa as well. We miss our freedom, to be able to walk or cycle in the mornings and evenings. To live without fear of being robbed or killed.

We are going back to Australia in 2-3 months time, we have had enough of South Africa.

My point is:

It is expensive to live in Australia and yes we South Africans find it difficult to adapt to the Australian ways, and systems, but you are safe and yes you have freedom in Australia.

If you are concidering coming back to South Africa, please keep the following in mind.

1) You will need prove of new adress when you want to do any thing, so if you are living with friends or family on your return, please insure they can provide prove of residence and a letter that you are staying with them.

2) As you have no Credit rating, Payslips, or Bankstatements, you won't be able to buy a Car of furniture, so the first 3 months will be difficult, unless you have enough cash to pay for a car in cash.

3) You will also need prove of residence for a new sim card for your mobile as well.

Well, thats a few things to keep in mind.

[Donovan83]

Hi guys,

We left South Africa to go to Perth Australia in November 2011, we really had high expectations, but when we got to Perth, we found it very difficult to adapt. After 2 months later we dicided to return to South Africa, what a BIG mistake!

Seriously? 2 months?! Did you not expect that it would be difficult at first?

So when are you going back?

[joweni]

YAY YAY we are back from our very hurried visit to SA to see my ailing father-in-law. Everytime we fly back to Adelaide I have this overwhelming sense of relief when i get off the plane and even more so this last time. It was wonderful to go back and see the family but after a week of living behind brick walls and spiked,locked security fence I was ready to get the next flight back to Oz.. I must say the shopping mall we went to was lovely and our Aussie dollar went a long way but walk out the mall and just down the road is a huge squatter settlement. The people just aimlessly sitting around on every corner of the suburb was unsettling but there are just no jobs for them and so no hope for a better life for themselves and their families-heartbreaking.And then the newspaper articles with the politicians fighting about Zuma's new jet can't remember how many millions they wanted to spend on that -shame the jet he inherited from Mbeki is 12 years OLD!!And what worried me most was how little local coverage of news there is ....lulling people into a false security??

Despite all the challenges of moving to Oz in our late forties to finish educating our children here, it has been worth every step and although we are no where near retiring any time soon (thank goodness) I know we can get old here in relative security and still have a life. Some of the old people we met in SA are in constant fear of their lives,their dwindling funds,their declining medical situation and have no opportunities to catch a bus to the movies or even take a walk to the beach-prisoners in their little rooms-Horrible,horrible,horrible.

[Guest May]

I had to respond just to set the record straight.

WE HAVE BUDGETED R 2 BILLION for that jet!!!!!!

We just have to get our decimals right because its important that we know exactly how many trillions we are flushing while millions live in desperation.

As an average middle class 40something Christian South African it grates my very soul how needy we are with charitable initiatives permeating our work place, our schools, our churches while our ministers(our representtatives) live in ABSOLUTE opulence(an old but oh so fitting word). Do we have ministers or are they celebrities bec do they actually work or do they pose for the media in their latest fashion. They never hold office long enough to do anything competent as if they were qualified in the first place. They spend more time in jail and court than they do in office.

Feel so much better I could got that off my chest, holding so much anger at those that are sending us from our birthplace. I find it very hard these days to find charity in my heart and struggle with it as a practicing Christian.

[Guest Eager2go]

Hi Richard and Cindy.

I met a mother at my child's school a few weeks ago, we started chatting and I mentioned we were immigrating. She burst into tears in front of me with this story:

She and her husband lived in Sydney for a few years, loved it, had their first child there. They missed their family in SA, returned for a visit, applied for a job in SA and got it. They have been back for five years and have had a second child here. However, in those 5 years, they have missed Sydney terribly and would love to return. Their furniture is still in storage in Sydney.

The point is that wherever you choose to be, you will miss certain aspects of what you have left behind.

All the best with your decision.

[Joeemm]

I've said this before and my view has not changed on bit, as hard as it is, I really think anyone who can move (anywhere really, but Australia as we all seem to agree, is nice) really owes it to their children, to move and give them the futures they deserve.

Good luck everyone.

[bundyman]

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Robbers-drowned-boy-12-in-boiling-water-20120725

We all miss our families.......

[Superkruz]

http://www.news24.co...-water-20120725

What a gruesome story!