UNHAPPY IN AUSTRALIA

[4Coetzees]

Lately I saw alot of posts about unhappiness with the move and the hubby and coping with the kids while hubby is working and house cleaning and etc etc etc.

Who wanted to return to SA after a few days or weeks or months and why?

Are there any that returned to SA and might go back to Australia?

Are there any of you that never want to return to Australia?

Edited July 16, 2010 by Want to go now....

[RedPanda]

Seems like people just quietly disappear into the local flora? I suppose the forum is a bit of a transitional space, and it's only natural that people will have less need of it as they grow more settled in their new places.

I for one, am very grateful that some 'old timers' stick around, they know all the good stories! (and have the 'local' knowledge in Australia.)

[Mara]

@ RedPanda, hehe, careful with the "old timers" remark... I know it is apt, but a delicate subject.... oh sorry, of course, it was a compliment, for those of us that have been here forever.... thank you!

You are right, people come and go, many with good intentions initially, to pay it forward, but then, life takes over and their visits become less and less.... not a problem, that means they have settled and are happy people, hopefully....

[RedPanda]

Jip...if you've been on the forum for more than three or four years, you start to become an 'old timer', regardless of how long you've been on earth. I love reading the journals of people who came to Australia 4 years ago, or more, and post things from after they have settled and relaxed. The everyday life in Aussie (from RSA expats' view).

But it helps to have a good mix, all the people who are busy with applications currently have the pool of current information, so it's a very necessary group. I noticed just after we were granted our visa that the whole government website changed, so none of my links worked any more, and when I wanted to find someone the immigration booklet, I couldn't.

Edited October 29, 2015 by RedPanda

[Mara]

I know what you mean. At some stage, every year, I check the original posts that I made under Melbourne, that are pinned. Takes a while to check that all the links are still working and to remove those that are not!

[SurferMan]

I am about to go for citizenship....cant wait!

[SurferMan]

Confirmed, test is 4 Dec....Woohooo

[Cujo]

Hi SurferMan. Good luck. I wrote mine today. It was very easy The pdf book is easier to use than the immi.gov Youtube videos as they make you fall asleep.

[Mel-B]

Nice! What type of questions are you asked for the test?

[SurferMan]

Hi Mel B, just go to the Immi website, they give you the questions. All general knowledge to me.

[Cujo]

All the answers to the questions can be find in the PDF book "Our common bond". You can practice them on the internet a handful of times, but I wouldn't waste too much time on the practice questions. Just read parts 1 to 3. They are multiple choice and random selection.

[Naomihome]

I read the whole thread and noted a few things...

Managers in engineering who arent qualified? It's one of the very things I'm fleeing.

Australia being too regulated and boring? I'm a free thinker and really hate drone society and too many regulations. Of course I support all things that are good.

I heard about a guy in Aus who returned to SA because he was bored, after staying there for years. Now he cant find a job here lol.

Interesting thread. I hated the UK (2005) and really struggled to find a job I wanted. I didnt like the brits. I know what its like to get sick of a place and decide to go back home. It wasnt good at all.

I spent at least 3 years in depression after getting back to SA and couldn't find a job here either, had to move back in with my parents and studied further. Then took a job in lecturing which opened a lot of doors.

Eventually I was extremely happy again, until about 4 years ago, when real inflation started overtaking my salary. It feels like I'm barely living atm. The budget is tight and we cant afford things we really need.

So here I go again. I kind of know what to expect, but my husband doesnt have a clue.

[RedPanda]

The one advantage that Australia has over the UK is that it insanely big. So chances are good that if you move around you will find a place where you can be happy. Just keep an open mind and keep looking. Also, be very honest with yourself regarding what you really want in life to make you happy, and then look for that.

All the best on your journey.

[Donovan83]

What was it about the UK that you didn't like? If it was the weather... choose carefully where you go in Aus.

[Naomihome]

I didnt like a lot of things. Weather is way down at the bottom of that list.

At the top you'll find - Idiot Job Agencies and Social Status.

Job agencies had no idea what my career entailed and kept connecting me to jobs that had absolutely nothing to do with me even though I kept applying directly through them to the ones that actually did.

I mostly felt treated like I was only good enough to scrub some idiot's floor, where this same idiot had no idea that my palace back home made his shitty house look pretty rediculous. (I didnt really scrub floors but anyway.)

Pubs close at 10.

[Peterthe1]

I didnt like a lot of things. Weather is way down at the bottom of that list.

At the top you'll find - Idiot Job Agencies and Social Status.

Job agencies had no idea what my career entailed and kept connecting me to jobs that had absolutely nothing to do with me even though I kept applying directly through them to the ones that actually did.

I mostly felt treated like I was only good enough to scrub some idiot's floor, where this same idiot had no idea that my palace back home made his shitty house look pretty rediculous. (I didnt really scrub floors but anyway.)

Pubs close at 10.

I stayed in London for 10 years before coming to Oz. I hated living on top of each other the most. Here there is space. I drive to work and for 200km of the journey I see nothing but open country side. In the UK I would have almost driven to the other side of the country. We came to Oz because my partner wanted to come home. I hadn't been here before so it was a good move for me. Moving countries didn't bother me. Been there, done that, can do it again. And the weather is depressing and crap in the UK.

Don't let anybody tell you that this is the place of milk and honey. I spent my first 3 months applying for jobs. All up I applied for at least 400 jobs, first you start applying for what you like and can do and then it goes to anything which is remotely up your street. With perseverance I found something, and it paid well and I was made redundant after almost 3 years. I did find work again, only on a casual basis, but it is ongoing indefinitely.

With regards to Job Agencies, they are the same all over the world. No different here. They'll still point you where you might not want to go.

With regards to pubs closing early, here it is very expensive to go drinking in the pub regularly. Here you drink/socialise outdoors/with friends. And you can't light the braai in the pub.

Your cost of living is quite expensive here so unless you earn a big salary you have to be reasonably budget conscious. There are a lot more rules and regulations here (pain in the ass but you get used to them) but at least it is a safer community here then SA.

Seems to me that you are expecting a lot all at once. When you get here have an open mind and take one step at a time, this is a new life you'll be starting. There are lots of ups and downs but at the end of the day things fall into place and life goes on but in a happier, safer place.

[Sunnyskies]

Whether you find Australia over regulated and a nanny state depends on your state of mind. Yes there are rules, but generally they don't bother. If you have a water restriction that says people with even numbered houses can water on a Wednesday and Friday and people with odd numbered houses can water on Tuesday and Thursday then that is when you water. If its a no fire day then you don't light one, because generally it is so darn hot that you don't really want to stand outside anyway and if there are wind gusts of 100km/h you may find yourself turned into the BBQ. If you want to insist on lighting up and you cause a fire then you need to be prepared to be prosecuted. Fire is a big thing here - think the Simonstown fires this year and in 2007 only worse because people die in them and they occur in many different locations in the country every year.

But is there a cop on every corner waiting to bust you for breaking the law, no.

There are plenty of traffic cameras and I've had a few fines that I thought were unjustified, but I drive a lot more safely than I did in South Africa.

Sometimes the local council rules are irritating, but I find that people gypo the system here as much as they do in South Africa on issues that they find silly but not life threatening. There we are filling in the forms and asking for special dispensation and the neighbour tells me how to bypass the rules. So generally Aussies do break the rules, they are just more sneaky about it. If you can't stand any form of regulation then this is not the place for you.

[Peterthe1]

At the top you'll find - Idiot Job Agencies and Social Status.

Job agencies had no idea what my career entailed and kept connecting me to jobs that had absolutely nothing to do with me even though I kept applying directly through them to the ones that actually did.

I mostly felt treated like I was only good enough to scrub some idiot's floor, where this same idiot had no idea that my palace back home made his shitty house look pretty rediculous. (I didnt really scrub floors but anyway.)

Pubs close at 10.

This sort of attitude is what gives SA immigrants the label of being arrogant. At my work there a fair few Saffas and most of them get on with everybody although some have this attitude with everything being better back home, how good everything was and how crap everything is here. They are the ones that we all, for some reason, get associated with.

If your palace back in SA is that good why would you want to leave.

Always remember, as the immigrant to a new country, you have to adjust to the new rules and laws. If you don't like them, don't come. I think most people on this forum prefer it here and don't want to be lumped into one bag and be called arrogant, they'd rather get on with the locals and fit in.

[RYLC]

This sort of attitude is what gives SA immigrants the label of being arrogant. At my work there a fair few Saffas and most of them get on with everybody although some have this attitude with everything being better back home, how good everything was and how crap everything is here. They are the ones that we all, for some reason, get associated with.

If your palace back in SA is that good why would you want to leave.

Always remember, as the immigrant to a new country, you have to adjust to the new rules and laws. If you don't like them, don't come. I think most people on this forum prefer it here and don't want to be lumped into one bag and be called arrogant, they'd rather get on with the locals and fit in.

Thanks for posting this Peterthe1. Couldn't agree more! I feel the same way and was going to post yesterday but thought I couldn't be bothered doing it again on another thread. My first thought was "You take yourself with you" so usually your experience will mirror your take on life. No country is perfect - it's all in the eye of the beholder.

[RedPanda]

Thanks for posting this Peterthe1. Couldn't agree more! I feel the same way and was going to post yesterday but thought I couldn't be bothered doing it again on another thread. My first thought was "You take yourself with you" so usually your experience will mirror your take on life. No country is perfect - it's all in the eye of the beholder.

That said, this (Naomihome's post) is not the first time I have heard a South African complain bitterly about the English being overly class-conscious and snobbish.

I have yet to hear anything like that about Australians, so it might make a difference.

[Naomin81]

Maybe you misunderstood the metaphor. It means that the British have a superiority complex and it annoyed me. Compared to Aus people we are probably the ones with the superiority complex. I have at least 4 great Aus friends, and each of them are from different backgrounds and have different social statuses. All of them think the SA people they've met are snobbish or arrogant as you say. I think it might be more of a culture thing though, where SA people are more reserved and not as forward.

When on honeymoon we met 2 on a yacht. We went over for a breakfast on the yacht. The background music consisted of "You can't say :censored: in Canada". We gave them a bottle of wine, extremely fine and expensive wine, which they opened there and then. They gave us 2 glasses with their boats name engraved on it. Lovely people, but if I were a prim and proper SA doll I'd probably be insulted by their behavior because they had a lot of 'bad manners'. Instead it didn't bother me at all.

[RYLC]

RedPanda I'm sure it won't be the last time that Saffas find Poms snobbish. It's just that what we focus on says more about us than we realise and we will be judged on it.

Fortunately Australia is not snobbish (quite the opposite) and tall poppies are not well tolerated.

When on honeymoon we met 2 on a yacht. We went over for a breakfast on the yacht. The background music consisted of "You can't say in Canada". We gave them a bottle of wine, extremely fine and expensive wine, which they opened there and then. They gave us 2 glasses with their boats name engraved on it. Lovely people, but if I were a prim and proper SA doll I'd probably be insulted by their behavior because they had a lot of 'bad manners'. Instead it didn't bother me at all.

Other than perhaps the background music, you'll have to point out which bits were "bad manners". Sounds like you probably mean that your version of doing things is different to theirs and your way is "right".

Edited November 26, 2015 by RYLC

[RedPanda]

I've heard about the Tall Poppy syndrome in Aussie, it's a bad habit that they should work on. It's much more conducive to growth and excellence when genuine hard work and good performance are praised. Otherwise people will be mediocre simply not to stand out.

But I guess the flipside of that coin is a society that places a lot of emphasis on the equality of each of its members? (Just wish they'd hurry up with gender equality too ) The news has been full of gender pay gap stories (on average women retire with half the savings that men have), and domestic violence as a national scourge, and plans to get 'Relationship Studies' in the school curriculum.

Aaggg...I'll see what it's like when I get there. Maybe the Aussies have so few genuine problems to worry about that the few leftover problems seem large in comparison (to nothing). The best one can do is go over with an open mind, and remember that once your feet touch the ground on that side it's not 'the Aussies' it's 'Us' and 'We'.

[Naomihome]

I know a variety of people from Aus and NZ. They vary..a lot..completely. I dont have any problems with the people. All of them are definitely not good, some might even be hazards to avoid.

When I get there I'll have a party and invite them all. Chaos will ensue.

There are some really bad neighbourhoods, like the place where my one friend Matthew grew up, filled with drugs and illegal things (he was one of his father's 41? illegitimate children accross the country). He used to be a professional gambler and he disappears for weeks on some drug/drinking/whoring rampage.

Eventualy your kids will intermingle with some bad Aus kids. But I guess as long as you teach them the right things they'll be okay.

[Tiermelk]

(Just wish they'd hurry up with gender equality too ) The news has been full of gender pay gap stories (on average women retire with half the savings that men have)

I think this is just compound interest in action... Women generally take time off to have children and look after them for a few years. So they will have less Super then men?

[Peterthe1]

I think this is just compound interest in action... Women generally take time off to have children and look after them for a few years. So they will have less Super then men?

I think this is just compound interest in action... Women generally take time off to have children and look after them for a few years. So they will have less Super then men?

I think this could be a whole new (heated) and lengthy post!!