Jump to content
  • 0

UNHAPPY IN AUSTRALIA


4Coetzees

Question

:ilikeit:

Lately I saw alot of posts about unhappiness with the move and the hubby and coping with the kids while hubby is working and house cleaning and etc etc etc.

Who wanted to return to SA after a few days or weeks or months and why?

Are there any that returned to SA and might go back to Australia?

Are there any of you that never want to return to Australia?

:)

Edited by Want to go now....
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Recommended Posts

  • 0

I can so sympathize with what you are going though. Our daughter was 18 when we got our visas for Oz. My husband and I left her and her older brother in a very secure ( or so we thought) flat in Pretoria and came here to look for jobs etc. While we were here , she woke up one night to find a man leaning over her and only the appearance of her little dog, who had been lying fast asleep under the blankets saved us from what could have been our worst nightmare. He leapt out of the third floor window!!!!

Don't worry about the housework - nothing competes with the feeling of safety and security we have living here in Oz. We know there is still crime but it is not anywhere near the levels in SA and a lot of it is domestic violence or drug related. Our daughter had nightmares for almost three years but is now happy and confident,buzzes all over the city in her little car,has been overseas twice on holiday,has lots of friends,a wonderful job - all that we could have wanted for her.

Hope that you too will have the opportunity to sleep soundly at night !!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Hi all

My husband and I have been here for almost a year now, and have never for a minute felt like we wanted to go back to SA. It was a long process in SA to get our PR visas, and I think that gave me the time I needed to grieve about leaving and to start to really look forward to the adventure ahead and get excited about it. For myself, I focus on the here and now, and the way our quality of life has improved exponentially since we got here. I love that I can go down to the beach front at night for a walk or a cycle, and can enjoy it all without the worry about crime. The kids are so free here to play in the neighbourhood, running around from one friend's house to the next, or going to the beach or a park to have fun.

Of course, the process of having to familiarise yourself with a different place, shops, where to find what you are looking for, can be a bit frustrating and overwhelming for a while, but then I changed to Coles online shopping, and it really made my life easier as I was spending an hour and a half, at least, walking up and down suioermarket aisles to do my weekly shop. It now takes me about 20 minutes online. I highly recommend it.

Hope that things look up for you. I am pretty sure that they will!

Lucy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Ditto ditto ditto and ditto to sbhennops

And before everyone shouts “ adapt or die†, or “if you don’t like Australia , blah blah blah “ a great deal of us who immigrated to Australia did it for our kids.

The normality and relative safety has confirmed we did the correct thing.

However, nearly 4 years here, although I love the country I just struggle with the Aussies generally.

At 50 plus, I just don’t adapt that quickly.

One thing is for sure though; going back to South Africa is simply not an option. Just take a walk through a few places in Johannesburg to see what the future already looks like. If that does not convince you, take a walk though Harare or Bulawayo streets.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Hi

I have been in Aus for 8 years,and love it .Will never go back.It was hard in the beginning but got better with time.

I meet a lot of saffers and in the first 5 minutes ,I know if crime affected them or if they left because of fear of crime.

The ones that were affected are happy and glad to be out of SA and try to make it work.

The others called[WHEN WE] moan about everything in the sun,and find it hard to adapt.

When I got here I made a effort to make aussie friends and to exept the Aussie ways.

when I got here I started supporting the Aussie teams ,because Aus is giving me a new life.

It is much easier to adapt if you let go of the old life in SA,and remember the good old days

My family has been victims of crime many times.Armed robberies ,breakins etc

Cheers happy in aus

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0
It is much easier to adapt if you let go of the old life in SA,and remember the good old days

Thanks for writing this. This is exactly why it can be so hard to adapt in Australia. For some people it is just so hard to LET GO of the past. When we come here we automatically have to go through our emotional baggage as well, to be able to live here and letting it ALL go is part of it. It's a major overhaul and cleansing and purging of the old that we all have to go through. Besides having to change and accommodate the new, I think a lot of people go back to South Africa for this very reason: they WON'T LET GO and they are not willing to go through the process of letting go.

Those who decide to stay in Australia but emotionally won't / don't /can't LET GO, go through a lot of suffering. It's only when we can let go that we can truly come into a relaxed state. This is a very difficult process and a lot of guilt, shame and fear come up. This is why a lot of South Africans become depressed and unhappy. Migrating here shakes up everything in your life and forces you to DEAL WITH IT emotionally instead of denial or avoidance of feelings and issues.

peace

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Well some people know how to make friends fast. The people that moan about everything in Oz did exactly that in SA. Nothing will ever satisfy them no matter were they end up, they will find a reason to moan. Some of us have given it a fair go in Oz and have no choice but to stay. If i had a choice i would go home to my family farm in SA, not because its SA, because its home and always will be for me. I might let go the day my mother no longer lives, but till then my home is the place i go to see my mother. I am not afraid of crime, dying or whatever comes with it, i believe when your time is up it is up and you can run as far as you like the result will be the same. I am not a socialite and will never be one, and don't have a problem with a lack of friends. Most friends grow on you over time anyway and the rest just use you for there own selfish reasons. That is just my point of view and since i have been here for 4 year, i can see that all people react differently to different situations. Me I live in Oz because my hubby is an Ozzie, but no one said i have to like it. I will settle down when i do something i am familiar with, till then i will probably bitch about it. If people don't like it don't read it.

Regards

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0
Thanks for writing this. This is exactly why it can be so hard to adapt in Australia. For some people it is just so hard to LET GO of the past. When we come here we automatically have to go through our emotional baggage as well, to be able to live here and letting it ALL go is part of it. It's a major overhaul and cleansing and purging of the old that we all have to go through. Besides having to change and accommodate the new, I think a lot of people go back to South Africa for this very reason: they WON'T LET GO and they are not willing to go through the process of letting go.

Those who decide to stay in Australia but emotionally won't / don't /can't LET GO, go through a lot of suffering. It's only when we can let go that we can truly come into a relaxed state. This is a very difficult process and a lot of guilt, shame and fear come up. This is why a lot of South Africans become depressed and unhappy. Migrating here shakes up everything in your life and forces you to DEAL WITH IT emotionally instead of denial or avoidance of feelings and issues.

peace

I agree 100% with you Flowers, its a sort of 'emotional springclean' when you land here, you learn to let go of loads of things and you move on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0
Hi

I have been in Aus for 8 years,and love it .Will never go back.It was hard in the beginning but got better with time.

I meet a lot of saffers and in the first 5 minutes ,I know if crime affected them or if they left because of fear of crime.

The ones that were affected are happy and glad to be out of SA and try to make it work.

The others called[WHEN WE] moan about everything in the sun,and find it hard to adapt.

When I got here I made a effort to make aussie friends and to exept the Aussie ways.

when I got here I started supporting the Aussie teams ,because Aus is giving me a new life.

It is much easier to adapt if you let go of the old life in SA,and remember the good old days

My family has been victims of crime many times.Armed robberies ,breakins etc

Cheers happy in aus

Strange that you feel the need to come and visit this website now then. Are you looking for affirmation that you did the right thing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0
Strange that you feel the need to come and visit this website now then. Are you looking for affirmation that you did the right thing?

No, I think that the 'website' is visited by us to share stories, info, laughs........what is so strange about that?????? Why are you visiting it??

Erica

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Hi everyone,

Well, I'm in my scary phase.Decided in February to tackle the Aus. issue.My sister and her family is in Melbourne.After 18 months there,they are happier than ever before.The excitement took over and I went to see an agent in April.Passed the IELTS,my skills assessment is on its way to Aus.

Within 3 months,my doc. were ready,my house is sold,kids can't wait to fly,I know what furniture to take or leave ect.

everything is actually going to fast for me now!Suddenly I realise the change of a lifetime is here!Will I be able to cope?Will I make new friends?Will my kids adapt?

But when I read the forum,I only see(most of the time),better living conditions,safety for my kiddos.

So heads down and one step forward each day.

Can't wait to become a Auzzie :)

Thanx for the reality check with all your comments.I realise it will not always be easy,but I believe it will be better.

Good luck to everybody in whatever phase u are in your live.

G

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0
Hi everyone,

Well, I'm in my scary phase.Decided in February to tackle the Aus. issue.My sister and her family is in Melbourne.After 18 months there,they are happier than ever before.The excitement took over and I went to see an agent in April.Passed the IELTS,my skills assessment is on its way to Aus.

Within 3 months,my doc. were ready,my house is sold,kids can't wait to fly,I know what furniture to take or leave ect.

everything is actually going to fast for me now!Suddenly I realise the change of a lifetime is here!Will I be able to cope?Will I make new friends?Will my kids adapt?

But when I read the forum,I only see(most of the time),better living conditions,safety for my kiddos.

So heads down and one step forward each day.

Can't wait to become a Auzzie :)

Thanx for the reality check with all your comments.I realise it will not always be easy,but I believe it will be better.

Good luck to everybody in whatever phase u are in your live.

G

What you are feeling is quite normal :hug: It is an adventure! Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Been in Aus for almost 4,5 years, due for our citizen test, my son and daughter did there’s, both passed, son gets inaugurate on the 7 September 2010. Never wants to go back, not even for a holiday. LOVE it in Australia!!!!!!

My dad is 80, comes for his second visit in December. He just fell in Love with Australia. If we could only keep him here!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

We have been here for 2.5 years. We are still very happy with our decision. Yip days that I miss everyone so very much, but we are now home :ilikeit: :ilikeit:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0
We have been here for 2.5 years. We are still very happy with our decision. Yip days that I miss everyone so very much, but we are now home :ilikeit: :ilikeit:

Welcome to the forum - Glad to hear your loving OZ . . . no plans for us leaving anytime soon (or ever) :ilikeit:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

Very happy here after 22 months. Had our ups and downs but love the lifestyle and my kids have freedom - I love what Australia offers them and I love how I am to my family now that we are here - makes you closer and you realise the importance of your family.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

After 24 months and 16 days – we have made a good life here, made great friends, kidz are doing well, etc..etc.. but then I guess at the end of the day, if the truth be told, we would only be truly happy if all our family and friends were safe, or here with us !

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

It's interesting to see all the different points of view. I get a feeling though that there are some expats that rationalise the move to Oz by slating South Africa - this I find unfair. I have some friends who have moved to Oz and even though they have never been victims of crime or been involved directly in anything which so many complain about, they have still moved and openly criticise SA. Yet they didn't vote in any of the elections or try and contribute (in whatever way possible) to making this country a success story.

Sometimes I think that some people are generally just unhappy and they tend to find blame in all the circumstances around them. The move to another country as a "new beginning". But the unhappiness follows them there because they were unhappy about other things. I don't mean to get too psycholigcal about the whole thing and I am not trying to rationalise me staying in SA, but it is important to keep things in perspective.

I believe in South Africa but I don't keep my head in the sand. I read the news religously (found a great site http://www.newsnook.co.za) to make sure that I am well informed. If I am wrong and the wheels do come off here, I will have plenty of time to eat my hat, on a comfortable flight to oz.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I am making a move to Australia (as a Permanent Resident) in March next year and I’m SO SO SO excited about the adventure which awaits me! I don’t like to using the term ‘immigrating’ as I am treating this adventure as a ‘working holiday’, as was the case when I went to London to work for 2 years.

I am not going to Australia because I want a better life for myself (or my family and kids), or because I have been affected by crime, or because I can’t find a job (due to BEE), or because of the our corrupt government or because of any of these reasons. These issues don’t affect me (strange, I know). Maybe because I am used to living in these conditions (its all I know) or because I am a person who doesn’t like to focus too much on any negative aspect about ANY situation but rather focus on positives (which South African does have so much to offer). I am going to Australia for other reasons, which include the excitement and adventure, being able to travel and experience different cultures (would like to do a lot of traveling within Australian and surrounds i.e New Zealand, Bali), build wealth in a 1st world country, obtained citizenship for a country other than my home land (as I am South African through and through). So as you can see, there are other reasons to me moving to Australia other than the normal reason such as the ones I mentioned above and negative reasons most people mentioned on this forum.

The nice thing is that emotionally I am ready to go. I don’t have any family, friends of tangible items holding me in SA, its basically get up and go (well that’s how the planning has been).

But when I move over, only then I will decide and give my opinions about Australia (compared to SA), but I think the plan we have is to give ourselves at least 4 years (obtain Citizenship) then decide if the move was right for us. But looking back on what everyone has to say about Australia, I get the sneaky suspicion we going LOVE it there and not want to come back :ilikeit:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I hear what Crock says, however, I think I disagree with him to a certain degree.

The difference between living your life in South Africa and living your life in Australia is almost like night and day, and for me, the wheels in South Africa fell off a long time ago, I no longer look at life there through rose tinted glasses, BUT, neither do I do so in Australia.

I think the mistake a lot of people make is in thinking that they are going to replicate their RSA life in Aus, that will not happen, and it will probably never be the same.

The best you can do, once you have lived here for a number of years, is to make a list of things you love about both countries, and the country with the most number of positive ticks should then win your vote...for me it will be Australia...every time!

I agree with Crock, it is not necessary to run South Africa down, but it is becoming harder to have a positive attitude towards a country in crisis.

I have learnt in Australia that is it not easy to explain life in South Africa to an Australian, for the same measure though, I don't think a South African that has never lived in Australia should tell us not to find fault with South Africa, after all, we have lived in both and can see the difference.

Finally, the opportunities that both our sons have, in living in first world countries, has been absolutely fantastic, and the only judgement they have ever had to endure was what they knew, and how hard they were willing to work. My husband and I, both at age 61, have not been discarded from the workforce, we both remain employed with employers that are very happy to have our services.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I suppose this is what is good about this forum ... you speak your mind and it is your opinion ...

Like your friends I was never a victim of crime or had anything bad happen to me, lived in a safefish upmarket neighbourhood and most things where peachy ....Unfortunately I do, on the odd occasion that I’m ask, say not too many pleasant things about SA… trying to explain why I had arm response, bicycle street patrol, 6ft fence, 3 boerbulls, safe area in my house, etc.

One thing that I did do WAS contribute. Ever since I left school, being involved in my CPF, ratepayers etc and I was a councillor for the DA in area in which I lived and I voted... but when you sit across the floor from the ANC you get a vile taste in your mouth and really begin to wonder what SA is going to be like in 20 years. SA as a success story … not in my life time and maybe never in my children’s life time … but I’m willing to eat my hat …

Whilst it may be true for some (tend to find blame) It was not hard to justify my reasons and needs to move from SA. What kind of perspective must people have that have felt the brunt of crime or seen they family killed. In fact it is very easy to find blame as it is in most cases true. But after 10months, I can honestly say ... "I'm now happy"

Just reading Newnook made me scared but I assure you , I will continue to read it knowing that it adds valid reasons to my decision to move from SA.

Good luck, in your decision to stay. Until then God speed….

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I think alot of people who have moved to Australia , do in general, run down South Africa more than the people still living in South Africa.

I think we must realize, that there are alot of people in SA who are living EXTREMELY happy lives and there are alot of people who don't have the opportunity to move abroad who then remain positive about their country and take offense when people run it down. They, by choice or their circumstances, will remain in South African and its very important that they keep upbeat and positive as there no point living in such a negative frame of mind.

For those of you who have moved over to Australia (and would never go back), how would your attitudes be if you were forced to go back to South Africa? I'm sure there would be alot of people who would start focusing more on the positives and less on the negatives of South Africa i.e try reverse the roles.

Just food for thought.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0
For those of you who have moved over to Australia (and would never go back), how would your attitudes be if you were forced to go back to South Africa? I'm sure there would be alot of people who would start focusing more on the positives and less on the negatives of South Africa i.e try reverse the roles.

I would look for another country before ever going back .... And if I did, it would be with a very heavy heart .... for now ... I cannot see how being forced to go back would make them start seeing SA in a postive light.

...but I’m willing to eat my hat …

Edited by IamInACT
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

On the same note, I have met loads of English, Irish, Scottish, Spanish, American, Canadian, French, Portuguese, Greek, Chinese, Australian, Czeck, Polish, German, Dutch(people from all over the world), who CHOSE to leave their 1st world countries and have built a wonderful life for themselves in South Africa. A lot of the people I have met from these countries I mentioned above, all have one thing in common, they LOVE South Africa and they would NEVER go back to their homelands.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Answer this question...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...