Continental Drift - Our Journey

[Toitjie]

31 May - 2 June

I have always wanted to journal our journey, but I never knew when to start...as the process on this side can take a while, and in our particular case, it has taken longer than usual to get past all the personal things that happened in our familes.

But I finally thought today I have to start somewhere.

From Friday we have been moving house. We moved out of our home in Meyerspark, to a townhouse nearby. It is completely unbelievable how much stuff you gather in 10 years! We have been packing and throwing away and donating stuff for the past few weeks, and still we are struggling to get the house empty.

But 95% of our stuff is here, mostly still in boxes, it looks gastly, but thanx to a particularly nice Shiraz I really don't care all that much. Tomorrow is another day.

We had a biggish house, but no pool. Here its small...gosh I miss my linen closet, but the kids can ride their bicycles outside in the complex and there is a pool. My son told my mom today that we are now very very rich (I wish) since we now stay in a complex and we have a pool.

I have seen the effect his move had on the kids. They enjoy the new surroundings, but they are a handful, and very very demanding. And they fight a lot. I have read about other moms complaining during their move to Australia that the kids squabbled more.

I realised that this whole move is really so emotional...and I have said this before, its just now that we have moved out that its becoming very real. I did something silly today and when hubby laughed at me, I started laughing, and couldn't stop. then out of nowhere, I started crying. It was surreal. Inside you are crying, outside you are laughing, and tears are streaming down your face.

I took our Scotty to the vet on Friday so they could draw blood for her bloodtests, and today she went to my dad's where she will stay for a week or 2 until we take her to Keringa middle June. The cats came with us to the rental, and Im hoping to give them the best care and love and attention before we leave. I have still not gotten an answer as to what to do with them, but I will cross that bridge later. I cannot cope with more right now. At least now they will be normal cats again, when they were in the same house as the scotty she terrorised them.

The transfer of our house should be going through this week or early next week. That will be another final...I almost want to say another nail in the coffin...something like that.

For the next 5 months we have to seriously scale down.....this exercise was sorely needed. I dont know what possessed me to think I could fit everything I have into 2 movecubes. I have to be brutal in the next culling session.

Now...Im going to try to sleep...with this moving I have hurt muscles in my back that I dont think will ever be the same again. If I bend down I cannot get up and when I lie down I cannot roll to the other side.. I wonder what I will be doing when Im 60 or 70 if Im like this now...

[Lyn]

Things are moving now Toitjie - its never too late to start your journal.

I can understand how one minute you are on a high and the next the tears are running - extremely emotional - one word or thought can set it off.

Leaving your home where you have raised your children - where there have been happy times is darn hard. Usually we move houses to go to something better, a nicer neighbourhood, or we are rich and get a pool - Bless your little guy - too cute.

But this time, you are doing it for other reasons, and sometimes these reasons just don't sit too well. Sending you lots of strength - its a difficult time. Hope your FIL health is improving.

And hope you feel better too.

[AndreaL]

Thanks for sharing, I think because we came on a 457 and from getting the grant until actually flying out was about 6 weeks, so there was just no time to stop and think about anything. My beloved cats were put to sleep, both had issues that meant rehoming them was not an option, but I was with them at the end and I'm thankful for that.

Acknowledge and share you feelings with hubby, he is probably having similar emotions, and stay strong, what you have worked so hard for is about to eventuate......it is hard, but for us has been so worth it.......a new chapter to your life story is about to commence, live it fully.....

[MandC]

Slowly but surely you are taking those small steps that are leading you to your dream. Just think, in a few years from now you will look back at this and smile, because you will see how far you've come. Like my mom says: Nothing in this world that is worth it comes easy.

But its the small triumphs that makes it worthwhile. It also makes me think of another cool quote I've heard: "Even a kick in the backside is a step forward". One day at a time.

[AllisonW]

Thinking of you. Its such a tough time. Even after a year when i think about that last period as we left, it still makes me feel emotional. Just focus on getting onto that plane. And remember all the memories in your old house, your townhouse and everywhere else will still remain with you.

Good luck!

[Tebbutts]

Hi Toitjie - well done on writing your first blog! It isn't an easy thing to do (something I have been thinking I would like to do, but I haven't quite got around to start.....I mean, where do you start?) Thank you for sharing your journey - I loved reading it and look forward to reading some more blogs from you.

Hoping there are no more tears and a lot more happy smiles and laughter to come your way!

Debbie

[rozellem]

Toitjie, I made colourful bunting for my kids bedroom. Where ever we are, I get those plasic 3M hooks ( that comes off without marking) and string it all over their ceiling. This is our 5th house in 4.5 years. My theory is that where ever we are, if they lie in bed and look up at the ceiling, the ceiling always looks the same and they are home. All the best with your journey.

[Lyn]

What a brilliant idea rozellem - wish I had thought of that.

[Toitjie]

I like the bunting idea Rozelle..thanx

Today my mom phoned me hysterically....just needed to talk as she was ok, but when driving home from work, near the Pretoria Fresh Produce Market and Marabastad, someone opened her door and tried to get in. She had such a big fright that she floored the pedal and he literally fell out and the door slammed shut

thank goodnes nobody was in front of her. but she is pretty shaken up, and in the old adage....she isn't even hurt...cant believe that is how we are thinking, but we are, those were my first words!

She recently moved back from Potch to Pretoria and always lifted an eyebrow when I talk about locking doors etc......people just dont believe that Pretoria someplaces is like a warzone. My husband was almost hijacked in the same spot and my best friend was relieved of his cellphone and sunglasses in the same spot, and now her.

[Lyn]

Your poor mum - must have got one heck of a fright. I'm glad to hear she wasn't physically hurt.

But none the less, hurt or not, its just not acceptable - and of course the thug will live another day to terrorise others - did anyone try to intervene ? Because this is one problem I had with RSA - no one wants to get involved and help.

[BriD]

I like the bunting idea Rozelle..thanx

Today my mom phoned me hysterically....just needed to talk as she was ok, but when driving home from work, near the Pretoria Fresh Produce Market and Marabastad, someone opened her door and tried to get in. She had such a big fright that she floored the pedal and he literally fell out and the door slammed shut

thank goodnes nobody was in front of her. but she is pretty shaken up, and in the old adage....she isn't even hurt...cant believe that is how we are thinking, but we are, those were my first words!

She recently moved back from Potch to Pretoria and always lifted an eyebrow when I talk about locking doors etc......people just dont believe that Pretoria someplaces is like a warzone. My husband was almost hijacked in the same spot and my best friend was relieved of his cellphone and sunglasses in the same spot, and now her.

Oh my goodness...that is so scary!!! I am so glad she managed to get away!!

I know exactly the way of thinking "At least she was not hurt"...it is a coping mechanism for South Africans...this I have come to believe. Otherwise we could never deal with the horror of the daily threat of something happening to us or our loved ones.

I am sure this experience will put her on high alert for the future.

Huge huge hugs

[Toitjie]

5 June

I put my very last registration disc on my car today. When I renewed I realised its the last time. It sounds like a little thing...but there are many "lasts" to come...

I find myself getting more and more anxious though...about the safety of the kids etc. In the past we were always vigilant but now it feels like its so close, I dont want them to get hurt right before we go. I almost refuse when someone else like my mom or dad wants to taken them somewhere.

Yesterday the kids were with me in the car when my mom phoned to tell me about the attempted hi-jacking. They could hear my part of the conversation and as soon as I put the phone down they piped together "What happened??" I had to explain what hi-jacking meant and then I explained to them (remember they are 7 and 9) what to do when you are thrown in the boot of a car - getting the light out and sticking your hand out.

They were quite taken with this idea and found it amusing. I found it extremely sad that I have to explain to children how to handle a hi-jacking. I learned a lot of things in a course I did years ago for this kind of situation...what to do at a robot, what to do when you have babies in baby-seats etc. Although usefull, the existence of such courses is sobering.

[Toitjie]

Your poor mum - must have got one heck of a fright. I'm glad to hear she wasn't physically hurt.

But none the less, hurt or not, its just not acceptable - and of course the thug will live another day to terrorise others - did anyone try to intervene ? Because this is one problem I had with RSA - no one wants to get involved and help.

There was no-one near her....she was driving slowly because she was deep in thought....but even if there were people around I doubt if they would help

I remember some years ago I had a flat tyre, with the kids with me in the car, and I was a little panicked because it was a Tucson and I had no idea how to change they tyre (this is something we should learn from school age!) but a man stopped and helped me. I asked him why he stopped since no-one else did and he said he always helps because he hopes than if and when his wife finds herself stranded like this, someone would stop and help her too.

[Toitjie]

7 June

I had other plans for today's post...but as we all dearly know..when you make plans, life happens

Today the registration of our house was scheduled to go through at the deeds office. It didnt - their #$%^&%^@#$% computer system was down...and this is not a long wait but still...I so badly wanted to get this over and done with

We signed the offer to purchase in February 2013....then they needed to get a loan and then the paperwork started between the lawyers, the bank (Im not a big fan of FNB after this episode) and us and the buyers. Almost 4 months later and we are almost almost there...

they say Monday is D-day for registration....I just hope the system is back online by Monday.

[Kurkprop]

Hang in there Toitjie. Canberra is waiting for you just around the corner. This is just a little wobble, not a major speedbump Before you know it, you will be on that plane, eating crappy food and watching a movie or two.

It is a long weekend in Oz this weekend. We have been trying to come up with a plan on how to keep the kids from driving us crazy. National Zoo and Aquarium, Tidbinbilla, Questacon, Botanic Gardens... Soon you and your family will be exploring all these places when you start your new adventure . So just keep your eyes on the prize.

[ACG]

Hey Toitjie, it's Africancowgirl (shortened my name) and I just want to add my 2c worth.

I arrived in Canberra on Monday 3 June after a 4.5 year wait to get my visa (as most of my forum friends know). I can tell you that I love what I see and have found a city that works, is incredibly friendly, has a lot to offer and I think I am going to love it!

Just a few surprises that I found in the last two months before leaving and the first two weeks of being in Australia:

• The last two months got REALLY hectic. I thought I was organised and I wasn't working but things come up ALL the time that you need to deal with. Just take it one task at a time or you will go crazy. (How do you eat an elephant...one bite at a time.)
• I went away to two of my favourite destinations with my family in the last two months - best idea ever...memories that I will have forever.
• Packing the MoveCube was a huge job but the large cubes take a lot more stuff than you think. I even did a mock up model in the garage and ended up rushing out to buy fill ins at the last minute before they arrived. And don't stress, coz they were really efficient and helpful with everything.
• I focused a lot of time on my family (especially my Mom) and am so glad that I did that.
• Saying goodbye to friends is so draining (and confusing). I would maybe just have an open day at home to say goodbye one afternoon instead of endless dinners/nights out with the girls etc. It gets really hard to do this with all the things on your mind.
• I "allowed" myself time-out in the evenings when I would just sit around the braai with my family, not allow MY move to be the constant topic and tried to focus on them and how there lives would "go on without me" (sounds so dramatic). The truth is life does go on and I am grateful that they have so much going on in their lives that they can keep me involved in through email.
• Strangely, I thought that I would feel elated when the plane took off and headed to Australia but I didn't! I felt sad to the core that my entire life that I had known was now a closed chapter. And believe me, I have desperately wanted to leave South Africa for years...still felt sad though! (Maybe that's just me!)

Anyhoo...arriving in Australia has been good because:

• It is so great to no longer be living in limbo (as I think you do when you've made the decision to leave)
• Australians are INCREDIBLY nice...so helpful and pleasant (when you ask for information, they don't act like they are doing you a huge favour by doing their job)
• I was amazed at the similarities...cell contracts basically work the same way as ours, some tv shows are the same, you will recognise some of the stores that are the same etc. Familiarity does ease the nerves a little.
• I have had a few hiccups (like you have to have a rental before you can get your licence converted in ACT, the 100 point system is tricky) however every day I just remind myself that it took me 5 hours to renew my licence in South Africa and in horrible, dirty, government offices too. I just constantly look back at all I have been through to get here and think...this too will pass. And it does, usually much more quickly than you expect!
• I set myself goals everyday to keep my mind positive...just yesterday, I caught a taxi, rode the bus routes alone and found a whole new shopping area that is so trendy and cool. (What a big girl I am ).
• I have also kept in touch constantly with my family back home...they love to hear the developments and have been fantastic in keeping me going. (You think it will be sad to chat to them but I have found it really uplifting coz you soon realise that they are only far away in the physical sense.)

So to summarise, it is a really weird, sometimes confusing, sometimes exciting, sometimes daunting transitional phase. I am trying to just keep my mind positive and don't allow myself to dwell. I am ever grateful that the Australian government have welcomed me into this great country and will not even consider the idea that it "may not work out." It will and I will definitely look back and laugh at some of the things that have stressed me out during this adventure - I am sure we all will and I look forward to doing that with you over a nice bottle of Shiraz when you get here! Keep in touch and let me know when you arrive so that I can help if it's needed.

I hope that your Mom is going to be OK and am so sorry to hear what happened.

There is an Afrikaans saying that I've heard but hope that it isn't too rude to use on the forum...it starts like this "kyk noord en...." I remind myself of that whenever I am feeling frustrated. (Apologies to those whose delicate natures I might have offended here.)

[Toitjie]

lol...thanx ACG that was such a good post...and the saying is very true and very funny...don't worry, I don't think anyone would be offended, its part of our defence mechanisms

I cannot wait to meet everyone in Canberra, you, Kurkprop, Lyn, Shaz, Cramer, OBD....all the others that I have met over time on this forum.

Your positiveness is infectious....and I am glad to hear that you have landed and that you are happy. I was wondering where you were.

you are the 2nd person to mention this great idea of inviting people on one specific day, any time to your house to say goodbye. We have decided to do just that as people can come and go as they please and we don't have to do the formal greeting for days and days on end.

When you wrote about standing in line for 5 hours for your license, I remembered my own "line" - I was literally 9 months pregnant at the time and HAD to get my license, baby was due the very next day! and I was standing in a loooong queue...no-one offered their places, no-one offered me a chair and I remember I had these visions of this baby deciding to arrive in the licensing department! Luckily that didn't happen but people don't care anymore...fellow humans are not a priority for a lot of people.

[HadEnoughofJuju]

Hey Toitjie, it was just the other day that I was at your place discussing the possibilities and plans that we all had for getting to Australia and now things are really moving forward for you guys and we have been here for more than 2 months already. I also remember those last couple of weeks that we were in South Africa and how anxious I started getting about our safety just before we left. What happened to you mother is terrible and I am glad she is ok. It's awful that the first thing that goes though a South Africans head is h well at least she s ok. It should not have happened in the first place.

There will be many lasts in the days to come before you get on that plain and it will feel like you are never going to d those things again. It will take a while but once you are here and get into the swing of things life will start returning to normal (the way it should be).

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and journey. It has reminded me of how I felt about leaving and how I lucky we are to be here now, safe and at peace. You will be in our thoughts and please shout if there is anything we can help with. I know you are going to Canberra and you'll be far away but if you are ever on the Sunny Coast for a holiday please let us know.

[Toitjie]

10 June

Since our house transfer didn't go through on Friday as expected, the house and all the risk is still my responsibility and the buyer expressed his fears that people might break in because its empty, and do a lot of damage. We share this fear because who wants damage the day before the house is taken off your name?

Last night, in the midnightly hours, ADT phoned to say the alarm went off. I requested them to meet me there, jumped in my car and raced there. I couldn't think why the alarm would go off as the house was completely empty and all windows closed.

So here an armed man and myself entered the house, he with his gun drawn and me right behind him....and it was incredibly cold and the wind was howling around the corners...really the stuff fiction is made of...anyway..if I wasn't so cold and so frightened it might have looked funny

I was thinking what if this man attacks me? But he didn't, kudos to ADT, they were very fast and very professional. Of course there was nothing and no-one in the house so all is well...but that feeling of impending danger is really bad.

I really have a lot of respect for those law enforcement officials that do this kind of work, and the police. I was too scared to enter and will never ever walk around my house in the dark..but he had to, its his job.....I just realised what a horrible job law enforcement is. You never know what you will encounter every time there is a call-out or when you enter a situation. And its a pretty thankless job too, so many are good guys and are slandered because of the few bad apples in between.

[OubaasDik]

Toitjie - you have ovaries of solid brass. You are tough. (I mean that in the nicest possible way, of course, unless you don't like a nice way, in which case I mean it another way)

You may not want to read this bit

And, yes, I cut law enforcement a certain amount of slack for many things ..... my brother was in the police and one of the first things he did was to be chucked into a locked house via the bathroom window because the owner hadn't been seen for 2 weeks. The owner was there all right - he'd been shot in the face with a shotgun and left in the house ..... for two weeks

It's no wonder they get a bit strange.

[Toitjie]

Thank you OBD, I accept your compliment in the nicest possible way

I can be a bit of a Van Heldingen sometimes...has landed me in hot water before...

[Toitjie]

10 June continued.....

The house transfer has FINALLY gone through. 4 months from signing to transfer.

we are officially not home-owners anymore!

It is a little sad, but I have said my goodbyes to the house (the kids hugged just about every wall and every corner of the house)

For now, I am happy to have sold the place, Im happy that this is a huge milestone as this truthfully signals the last stretch because nothing is really holding us back now.

[Lyn]

Happy to hear the house is off your hands, even tho the heartache of selling your beloved home with all the little finger prints and hugging of its walls still a little raw.

Last year I insisted my friends drive me past my old house in Durban, I expected to feel something as I loved that place dearly - I felt absolutely nothing. Life goes on and we adjust to whatever stage we are at. I am certain that if you budget wisely you will have a home of your own again.

You absolutely have ovaries of solid brass. I would never ever have driven out at midnight to go and investigate an alarm with a stranger. You are one very brave lady.

[Toitjie]

14 June

I received the proceeds from the house, and what a liberating feeling it is to setlle all your debts and overdrafts. I know a person should not make debt but its almost inevitable, now we are at least debt free...almost

We have decided to go on a cruise in November from Cape Town to Durbs, and along the way visit friends and family in Cape Town before the cruise, and in Scottburgh after the cruise. There is no other way we can visit these people and a cruise seemed like a nice idea for the kids, for us..just to have a nice few days as a family before we leave.

So the cruise and the flights are booked!

Now Im still waiting for IOM to come back to me with a quote so that I can book our flights for end November.

Tomorrow Lucy is going into quarantine....that is going to be hard.

Just a quick update on my FIL for those who followed his health debacle:

The doctor at Steve Biko gave him 2 -6 months to live and said he has terminal lung cancer. That I have posted before. Then my BIL demanded those reports and plates and took it to their own GP.

GP said that on the report it says 86 year old female, and my FIL is a 81 year old male... WTF! they have mixed up 2 people's results. Somewhere out there is a terminally ill 86 old female who was told she has early stages of cancer and it can be managed.

So that is the good news...after the mix-up it was found that my FIL has lung-cancer in the wall of the lung, but its not terminal yet, and can be managed. Then a very sweet family member in Cape Town who was also recently diagnosed with cancer and given 6 months, but doing very well because she went to see 6 other doctors until she found someone who helped her - offered to fly my MIL and FIL down to Cape Town this coming Monday and take my FIL to her docter.

This doctor / professor requested the x-rays and reports before he agreed to see my FIL. His question was "who told you this is cancer?"

So now we wait...I cant' believe that doctors can be so negligent...Im hoping that whatever was found in his lungs is benign and not as bad as we initially thought. At least this professor is one of the best doctors, and all has been paid for. Truly unbelievable!

[Kurkprop]

Wow. What a roller coaster ride! Hopefully the good news continues in terms of his diagnosis.

I think a family cruise is an excellent idea. Have a ball!