Mommies chat

[Antoinette]

Kinders in die kar los. Dis 'n moeilike een daai. Die kind slaap lekker in sy stoeltjie en jy wil net geld trek of net brood koop. Vat jy die kind saam neem dit twee keer langer en moet jy die alewige fight he van "NEE, jy gaan NIE sweets kry NIE". Jy is moeg en wil net brood koop. Die kar staan in die skaduwee. Jy kan dit sien van die "till" af. Dit staan reg voor die kafee.

So werk my kop. Wat as die winkeltjie beroof word. Daar is jou kinders in die kar en jy word aangehou in die winkel. Wat as jy geskiet word en mense kom eers ure later agter van die kar met die kinders in. Wat as die koeels rondtrek buite en jou kinders word in die kar raakgeskiet.

Ek sal gou maak, se jy vir jouself. Ek het "evolve" om aan te pas by die die nuwe Suid-Afrika. Op my selfoon is die tel. nommers vir Radio Rippel, Jakaranda en Kansel. As my kar gehijack word bel ek hulle en hulle laat weet baie mense wat op daai oomblik op die pad is. Ek parkeer by geen winkel as daar 'n geldwa is nie. Ek gaan staan ver weg en wag tot hy ry. Ek kyk rond vir suspisieuse mense voor ek die winkel in hardloop. Ek los die venster oop sodat mense hulle kan hoor skree sou ek iets oorkom.

Ek dink nie daar is in essensie iets verkeerd daarmee om by die kafee in te hardloop nie. Jou kinders is nie in gevaar nie. Dis die land waarin ons bly wat dit so 'n risiko maak. Wat doen mammas in Oz?

Edited March 5, 2008 by Antoinette

[Rose and Terry]

My DH says I will be too old

What you think ladies?

I definitely don't think you will be too old, nor selfish. Men just don't get this biological clock of ours.

I know of many people who have kids at your age and older. I have a friend who is 39 and pregnant with number 3 (oldest is 9). With the modern technology available today it is no longer the risk it used to be, and I personally think you cope better with your kids when you are older and wiser.

I also think that any sibling is a blessing no matter what the age gap....(still trying to get that through to my DH).

To audz_oz and Kurkprop, thanks for the info... $2 is actually laughable....you can barely even buy a cool drink and chocolate for the equivalent in Rands.

As for leaving a baby in a hot car...it makes me sick just to think about it...I can't even begin to imagine what that poor child went through. It boggles my mind that people could actually do that.

But don't worry Natalie, I too have done a quick dash to the ATM....but the car was parked directly in front of it, with all the windows open. Thinking about it now it probably was quite a risky thing to do, because I was more worried about watching Karl in the car, than looking out for any suspicious characters. I must say hijacking did not even occur to me, as I live in East London, and it is not as common here as in the bigger cities...although it is increasing rather rapidly. Hijacking issues aside, I don't think we need feel too guilty about these instances. We are still responsible parents, and our kids remain within our visibility for a few minutes max. A child is unlikely to dehydrate or suffer any ill effects in this time. It is people who can actually lock their kids in the car and disappear into a shopping centre for undefined periods that really make my blood boil....and as for FORGETTING your child is in the car...that is just inconceivable to me!!!

Ok, I really need to do some work now.

Rose

Edited March 5, 2008 by Rose and Terry

[audz_oz]

Hi All

I think it is okay to have a baby whenever you are ready, your body will let you know when is the right time, age is not a factor that should be anyone's worry except your own, These days we spend far to much time worry about what other people will think instead of just embracing life and doing what makes you happy.

Age is but a number

Natalia on the leaving the kids in the car thing(while going shopping), i totally agree there is no excuse for that!! but rest assured i have done the same thing as you have many a time when i have gone to put petrol in, as you know here u have put your own in and then go and pay for it, so i always say it will take me twice as long to get him out the car and then i have to juggle trying to keep him under control and pay at the same time, so i just leave him in the car with all the windows down on a not so hot day and leave the car's aircon on in extreme heat and i am never more than 5mins and i can see him all the time.

So don't feel bad, sometimes you have to do these things and i can assure you we are not alone, there are heaps of others that do it, but it just takes guts to admit it out loud.

Cheers

Audrey

[Guest natalie3]

Hi Natalie3

I agree, it's horrific to think that somebody can forget a baby in a car. I get nightmares if i think what that child went through in that hot car.

As regards to you leaving the kids in the car to buy something................are you not afraid that somebody might hijack your car and kids?? Back in SA, I stopped at the ATM and was afraid to leave my child in the car!! Later I didn't even go to the ATM if she was in the car.

Regards

Frenchy

I think u misunderstand...i dont even turn my back on the car...its 4 metres away from me..as in ..i park RIGHT in front of the BP shop's glass door..car locked..baby in carseat...and under the roof ( BP mos has a big roof over it )..

But i understand the fear..thus immigrating ne?

[polly]

I don't think an 8 year gap is the end of the world. It will be just like raising two single kids though. My kids are 10, 6 and 10 months, so there is a really big gap.

Natalie: I don't think it is a good idea to leave you child. What if someone grabs you, grabs the keys and drives off? How much power do you have to stop them? You are leaving the windows open. It is easy for someone to get in when you get in and hijack both of you. And as aZwoman, from 4 metres away, how will you stop a carthief? You can scream all you want, that won't help you or your child.

I know it takes longer, but I now take out the kids or just go without. SA isn't safe. We have had multiple instances of parents being hijacked at the preschool as they were picking up the kids. In one instance a grandmother was shot in the hand and in another a pregnant mother, when resisting when they tried to push her back in the car, was pushed down. Get your cigarettes when you go shopping. I keep a blanket in the car so I can put my child on the shopping trolley if he/she is sleeping.

[The 3 R's]

Dear All

What an amazing forum and a great topic. We are in the initial stages of our application, so still miles away from 'landing'. I have spent hours logged onto this website, does anybody know who started it - what a genius, thanks very much.

We have 1 son (just turned 6), he is adamant that he is NOT going, has asked us, 'what about my grannies, what about my dogs, hamster and fish?' he is animal mad.....So for now, we try not to discuss OZ infront of him, not that we want to be pessimistic, but something could go wrong, and we don't want to upset him. We will start introducing him to the idea of our "adventure" when we are about 3/4's of the way there....

Connor is currently in Grade 0, I believe the children there start school at 5, does this place him very far behind, how have other parents dealt with this, did your children have to attend extra lessons ? Also, Connor does swimming, rugby and monkeynastics and golf at his pre-primary, do the schools there offer similar types of extra-murals and if yes, are they very expensive?

Plus.... I believe nanny's (maid's) are just not an option, I love housework (really - especially washing, I believe it restores my karma !! OK, if you think I'm a fruitcake!!), but I can't stand ironing, are there ironing services and are they affordable ?

Thanks once again for a really WOW forum

Regards

Wendy

[Guest natalie3]

Dear All

What an amazing forum and a great topic. We are in the initial stages of our application, so still miles away from 'landing'. I have spent hours logged onto this website, does anybody know who started it - what a genius, thanks very much.

We have 1 son (just turned 6), he is adamant that he is NOT going, has asked us, 'what about my grannies, what about my dogs, hamster and fish?' he is animal mad.....So for now, we try not to discuss OZ infront of him, not that we want to be pessimistic, but something could go wrong, and we don't want to upset him. We will start introducing him to the idea of our "adventure" when we are about 3/4's of the way there....

Connor is currently in Grade 0, I believe the children there start school at 5, does this place him very far behind, how have other parents dealt with this, did your children have to attend extra lessons ? Also, Connor does swimming, rugby and monkeynastics and golf at his pre-primary, do the schools there offer similar types of extra-murals and if yes, are they very expensive?

Plus.... I believe nanny's (maid's) are just not an option, I love housework (really - especially washing, I believe it restores my karma !! OK, if you think I'm a fruitcake!!), but I can't stand ironing, are there ironing services and are they affordable ?

Thanks once again for a really WOW forum

Regards

Wendy

Ag thanks dol for the thumbs-up on the topic i started ..

I say buy him a toy koala and kangaroo...rent "dot and the kangaroo" (dont watch that!!!u WILL tjank) etc etc..then it sort of slowly phases him in....not saying it will wrok..but it cant do any harm can it?

Just a thought on what i would try if mine was a little older,,,

[Guest natalie3]

I don't think an 8 year gap is the end of the world. It will be just like raising two single kids though. My kids are 10, 6 and 10 months, so there is a really big gap.

Natalie: I don't think it is a good idea to leave you child. What if someone grabs you, grabs the keys and drives off? How much power do you have to stop them? You are leaving the windows open. It is easy for someone to get in when you get in and hijack both of you. And as aZwoman, from 4 metres away, how will you stop a carthief? You can scream all you want, that won't help you or your child.

I know it takes longer, but I now take out the kids or just go without. SA isn't safe. We have had multiple instances of parents being hijacked at the preschool as they were picking up the kids. In one instance a grandmother was shot in the hand and in another a pregnant mother, when resisting when they tried to push her back in the car, was pushed down. Get your cigarettes when you go shopping. I keep a blanket in the car so I can put my child on the shopping trolley if he/she is sleeping.

I totally agree..sa is not safe at all...but in my defence..

The windows are not wide open..open as in 3 cm..also as i described ,..i park RIGHT in front of the GLASS door of the BP..the car is locked dol...no-one can get in..

The highjacking is not what was my concern (i made sure thats not possible ..unless of course the attacker is willing to do it right in front of the cctv ,people etc and ive never heard of someone being highjacked at a bp garage,,

...what was causing me guilt was that i cant complain or judge people who leave their kids in the car when TECHNICALLY...albeit for 2 minutes in total..not 3 hours like some women..i do the same..get my drift?

[Guest natalie3]

Dear All

What an amazing forum and a great topic. We are in the initial stages of our application, so still miles away from 'landing'. I have spent hours logged onto this website, does anybody know who started it - what a genius, thanks very much.

We have 1 son (just turned 6), he is adamant that he is NOT going, has asked us, 'what about my grannies, what about my dogs, hamster and fish?' he is animal mad.....So for now, we try not to discuss OZ infront of him, not that we want to be pessimistic, but something could go wrong, and we don't want to upset him. We will start introducing him to the idea of our "adventure" when we are about 3/4's of the way there....

Connor is currently in Grade 0, I believe the children there start school at 5, does this place him very far behind, how have other parents dealt with this, did your children have to attend extra lessons ? Also, Connor does swimming, rugby and monkeynastics and golf at his pre-primary, do the schools there offer similar types of extra-murals and if yes, are they very expensive?

Plus.... I believe nanny's (maid's) are just not an option, I love housework (really - especially washing, I believe it restores my karma !! OK, if you think I'm a fruitcake!!), but I can't stand ironing, are there ironing services and are they affordable ?

Thanks once again for a really WOW forum

Regards

Wendy

Oh..and im also going to miss my domestic terribly (she has always been sooo kind to my pets and my baby!)..

Luckily i also help her clean ...so i dont think u r weird..im a bit of a "bree van de kamp" myself

[Guest natalie3]

Where is Nilo when u need her...NILO!!!

A little help please..u are a lot smoother than me..maby your imput (u raised your kids successfully) would smooth things out a bit,,,,

[Gizmo]

I have never left Nina alone in the car. It is not really the hijacking (not very common in Cape Town), but a lot can happen in a couple of minutes. What if something happens to me? Nobody would know that I have left a child alone in the car... I am just way too paranoid to try it.

[Maritza2]

Hi All!

We girls can really chat up a storm! Thank you for a great topic! It helped put my mind at ease with all the questions as to day care, nannies, schools, stimulation! My baby girl is 3 and going to nursery school half day! So it was a bit of a worry for me as she is used to the "maatjies" and stimulation. But I think we will cope. I will look to put her in day care for a few days a week, we have a Practica set, and I will continue to use it and in Oz definitely more! Inge is also doing Kindermuzik here in SA; that makes me wonder: Do any one knows about Kindermuzik classes in Brisbane. Her teacher here told me that Kindermuzik is also in Oz. I would like to continue with this, as she enjoys it tremendously! And are there any horse riding classes available?

[Guest natalie3]

Hi All!

We girls can really chat up a storm! Thank you for a great topic! It helped put my mind at ease with all the questions as to day care, nannies, schools, stimulation! My baby girl is 3 and going to nursery school half day! So it was a bit of a worry for me as she is used to the "maatjies" and stimulation. But I think we will cope. I will look to put her in day care for a few days a week, we have a Practica set, and I will continue to use it and in Oz definitely more! Inge is also doing Kindermuzik here in SA; that makes me wonder: Do any one knows about Kindermuzik classes in Brisbane. Her teacher here told me that Kindermuzik is also in Oz. I would like to continue with this, as she enjoys it tremendously! And are there any horse riding classes available?

I have heard that they have classes like "moms and babes" and klammer club"..so im sure they have something similar to kindermuzik..

As for horses..oz is serious "horse country"..im sure u will find a riding school for your little one..im a horsy person myself..and hope that i can make a plan to start showjumping again once settled in oz..sadly i just couldnt afford it once i went to varsity..

[Guest natalie3]

I want to ask the ladies a bit of a controvertial question

My nika is close to the age for the MMR shot..ive read soooo many conflicting articles about its link to autism...

does anyone care to share their opinion?..did u vaccinate?...if your child is autistic do u feel it is linked to MMR?..

taking nika today for her chickenpocks and HepA shot...

I always HATE doing it to her..poor little bunny cries so when she gets a shot and so young she doesnt understand!

Why is it us moms that always have to be the witches??..hubby refuses to come with because "then she will associate pain with my face"....no wonder she prefers his company!

[saffer2]

I want to ask the ladies a bit of a controvertial question

My nika is close to the age for the MMR shot..ive read soooo many conflicting articles about its link to autism...

does anyone care to share their opinion?..did u vaccinate?...if your child is autistic do u feel it is linked to MMR?..

taking nika today for her chickenpocks and HepA shot...

I always HATE doing it to her..poor little bunny cries so when she gets a shot and so young she doesnt understand!

Why is it us moms that always have to be the witches??..hubby refuses to come with because "then she will associate pain with my face"....no wonder she prefers his company!

100% you vaccinate, unless there is a medical reason not to. Vaccination only works when most (ie 90% plus) do it. It is incredibly selfish not to vaccinate (unless there is a really good reason). Talk to your paed about the autism link - that research has been discredited time and again.

[Guest natalie3]

100% you vaccinate, unless there is a medical reason not to. Vaccination only works when most (ie 90% plus) do it. It is incredibly selfish not to vaccinate (unless there is a really good reason). Talk to your paed about the autism link - that research has been discredited time and again.

Ive vaccinated EVERYTHINg so far..previnar...rotarix etc..just worried abou the mmr

[Gizmo]

I want to ask the ladies a bit of a controvertial question

My nika is close to the age for the MMR shot..ive read soooo many conflicting articles about its link to autism...

does anyone care to share their opinion?..did u vaccinate?...if your child is autistic do u feel it is linked to MMR?..

taking nika today for her chickenpocks and HepA shot...

I always HATE doing it to her..poor little bunny cries so when she gets a shot and so young she doesnt understand!

Why is it us moms that always have to be the witches??..hubby refuses to come with because "then she will associate pain with my face"....no wonder she prefers his company!

The sad truth of the MMR myth is that people today still believe it. The original doctor who made the statement about the connection between Autism and the MMR retracted his statement and publicly apologised.

Since then numerous controlled tests have been conducted (just google it) - not because it was believed that there was a link, but to debunk the myth.

Here is the reality, the instances of Autism is HIGHER in children who did not receive the MMR than in children that did!!!

So, technically the risk of Autism is higher if you decide not to go for the MMR!!! (Note though that the difference was marginal, but it proves tha point).

Ask you paediatration if you are still concerned though.

Admittedly, I have taken my LO for everything (including the extras like Prevenar). She never had a single reaction to any of her innoculations except the MMR. The MMR gave her a slight rash and she was cranky for a couple of weeks!!!

BUT, I would and will do it again. A cranky baby is better than a dead one. Measles is a baby killer.

If you are still unsure, then ask your clinic about just getting the measles innoculation seperately. (Yes, you can do this, it is pricey, but if it will give you peace of mind, then go for it!)

[Gizmo]

Mmmm - something just occurred to me.

When you enrol your kid nowdays in school, the school demands to see their innoculation chart.

There have been a lot of instances of children being denied entrance into some schools for an incomplete innoculation history.

I am guessing here, but I am sure that in Aus the innoculation thing is even stricter than here?

Anyone from Aus know?

[saffer2]

To enrol our kids we had to show a complete innoculation schedule. If you had a valid MEDICAL reason, I guess they might relent.

[clarebear]

Mmmm - something just occurred to me.

When you enrol your kid nowdays in school, the school demands to see their innoculation chart.

There have been a lot of instances of children being denied entrance into some schools for an incomplete innoculation history.

I am guessing here, but I am sure that in Aus the innoculation thing is even stricter than here?

Anyone from Aus know?

They are really strict, but if you have a valid case / feel really strongly about not vaccinating you can register as a conscientious objector, and your child will still be accepted at school. Personally I'm all FOR vaccinations, but I spose every parent has the right to make their own informed decision.

As far as I know this applies to daycare as well - if your child is behind the aussie vaccine schedule, you either need to be on a catchup program or register as a CO (coming from the UK we had a massive catchup program to get through).

On the bonus side, if your childrens jabs are up to date at 18 months you get about a $250 bonus payment!!

Natalie - try not to stress too much about the MMR (easy to say, I know!) - you will feel relieved once its over with!

[clarebear]

I have heard that they have classes like "moms and babes" and klammer club"..so im sure they have something similar to kindermuzik..

Definitely have kindermuzik here, I've seen it advertised in the mother and baby mag.

Ladies, a good website/forum to have a look at when you get a minute is www.bubhub.com.au - you'll find discussions about all things relating to babies and children, although some people do seem to have some "interesting" ideas!!

[Guest natalie3]

In SA MMR is not gov sponsored, you have to buy it yourself..only measels is gov issue...so they let your kid into creche so long as the compulsory (gov) vaccines have been given..i know certain countries mmr is gov sponsored..

Does anyone know if its sponsored in 0z?..would be interesting to find out...

[Guest The M's]

I say Vaccinate!

I visited the clinic sister last week, to ask if there was anything EXTRA we had to have going to Oz... I was told our children have to have a special jab for Meningitis. It is a requirement for all emmigrating to have this jab. As it is not held on site, you have to phone 2-3 days before so that your clinic can order it for you.

Also, hunt for those innoculation cards/books - coz you are going to need them!

[clarebear]

In SA MMR is not gov sponsored, you have to buy it yourself..only measels is gov issue...so they let your kid into creche so long as the compulsory (gov) vaccines have been given..i know certain countries mmr is gov sponsored..

Does anyone know if its sponsored in 0z?..would be interesting to find out...

I'm 99.9% sure that it's government issue here, every toddler in our mothers group has had it.

[Guest natalie3]

I say Vaccinate!

I visited the clinic sister last week, to ask if there was anything EXTRA we had to have going to Oz... I was told our children have to have a special jab for Meningitis. It is a requirement for all emmigrating to have this jab. As it is not held on site, you have to phone 2-3 days before so that your clinic can order it for you.

Also, hunt for those innoculation cards/books - coz you are going to need them!

I know previnar is for pneumococcal so aka meningitus..or are u referring to a different one?