Mommies chat

[Guest natalie3]

Oh...and just in case....Nika is on the left in the bikini..jaryd (her god-mother's little boy) is on the right..

The pic was taken at her 1st birthday party on sat 23rd Feb...2008

[Guest natalie3]

Hi

No not at all, just glad to be able to share my information with everyone, i had my baby in the private section of the hospital, at Joondalup Health Campus the main reason for going private was that it was my first baby and i wanted to be able to have my privacy and my husband was able to stay with me in the hospital for the 7 days that i was in hospital and it was covered by our medical aid.

Sounds fantastic..whocould imagine giving birth in the same hospital as medical aid patients hey?

I had Nika at Carstenhof in Midrand..and it was stunning..my room was like a hotel room with a double bed..dining table ..couches!..hubby was allowed to sleep over and the first night the wheeled my hospital bed into the room..

I also would opt for private in oz because i dont want some stranger delivering my baby!..i had an induction because my gyni was going on holiday over my due date and i was just terrified i would go into labour while he was away..needless to say 14 hours later..boy was i sorry!!!..

[Gizmo]

Thanks for the playgroup info..I take my 1 year old to "moms and babes" which sounds like its similar to what u r describing..

The biggest reason for us leaving SA is our child..a better ,safer future with all the opportunities the world has to offer..regardless of race..

Also..we realised we cant afford more than 1 child if we stay in SA (private school and medical costing what it does and seeing as i cant get a job!) ..so as soon as we are settled in oz its time for number 2..which makes me think..u said you had your little one in oz..what was your hospital experience like for the birth?..gov or private? and was it clean etc etc..i know oz is a first-world country..but id like to hear this directly form a mommy who gave birth in oz herself..hope its not too personal??

Gosh - you are my siamese twin! The part in bold especially! We also want to have a second child, but have financial limitations. One child = can afford private school. Two children plus = government school. I am just not comfortable with the numbers or level of education offered in government schools. But it is more than that. We went to an interview at a private school in our area (you don't interview the school, they interview you! ). Anyway we were early and sat in the waiting area which was also the drop-off point for all the children. We watched as the most exclusive 4x4's rolled in and out with moms decked out in gym-gear and dads decked out in golf-gear. I turned to my husband and said - this is soooo not us. We are both professionals and both work (I'm no trophy wife! ). We drive sensible cars - mine a polo and my husband a golf. Although we have a monster-house, we don't wear Diesel or Prada or own a Rolex. I don't envy those people at all - I don't feel I need to be defined by my fashion or what car I drive. I don't have anything in common with them and I don't want to even try to fit in. How is my child going to manage? She does not wear baby-gap, she wears Woolies clothes. She won't fit in either. So what is the alternative? Government schools? In my area, it is 35-45 kids per class. If your child falls behind, how can the teacher possibly manage to explain things to one pupil when they have to control such numbers? Also, what future does she realistically have in SA - will there still be BEE when she grows up? Will she even be able to get a job?

Many other reasons. Crime. Racism. Yes, racism! We live in a country where it is totally acceptable to have a black journalists forum. Imagine in somebody tried to form a white journalists forum? It wouldn't be acceptable. Such double standards. SA is doomed to separation, segregation and racism. I want more for my child.

No, we are leaving for her sake. Once we are settled the other side, we will be gearing up for number two!

[Guest natalie3]

Oh yes my dear..thats how it is at the private schools..snotty snobs etc..however..like u say its better than the alternative of gov school..i went to a private catholic school and it definitely gave me an advantage when i arrived in high school (which was model C, Pro Arte) ..i was more bilingual..better reading and writing skills and had a far superior general knowledge (yes i am generalising a little)..

As far as costs go..we could afford 2 kiddies in private school if i worked..but unfortunately i am STILL unemplyed after 7 months of serious job-hunting...im an admitted advocate and cant even get a PA job!!!

And our kids??...no hope if we stay here..the minister said that AA is "here to stay"...which translates into "natalie is on her way to oz"

I have dreams for my little girl (one of them being a little sister to play with) ..and maby even studying to become a doctor one day..all of these dreams are only that...a distant..unattainable pipe-dream if we were to stay here...heartbreaking but reality..

There are those in my family that have branded me paranoid..crazy..even selfish for immigrating..but i hate to say ..and i will anyway.."ons praat weer" in 10 years when she cant afford varsity ..or they wont let her charming white son into varsity because of his skin colour....

[audz_oz]

Hi Ladies

And don't forget the other bonus of having yr 2nd child in oz will be that you get the baby bonus if you are a PR!!! We are also looking to add to our family i am hoping for a little sister for our little boy Connor, he is such a sweetie and very gentle for a boy so i know he would make a good brother.

Yeah Natalia, i agree with you not wanting to have a stranger deliver your baby, but point in case, it was about 3 weeks before i was due when i started having intense labour pains and 3 trips to the hospital from Thu-Sun, with me eventually having a pethidine injection and spending the night in hospital and still no sign of the baby i was glad to have my obstetrician who me and could make informed decisions with me and we could do the best for the baby.

So to cut a long story short, we gave it another week, and i decided to have a c-section as i couldnt bear the pain and didn't want to be lying around for the next couple of weeks high as a kite due to the pain killers i was on, it was a good choice as he was born 2 weeks early weighing in at 9pouns 10 ounces and 57cm long ,oh yes and she had to use the forceps to pull his head out because it was big and he was so squashed in my tummy his little ears were folded up like little parcels

So i am really glad to have had her and not some random doctor who probably would have made me wait!!

Here is a picture of our little tiger it was taken now in December on the beach with his mummy.

Cute little girl (Nika)

Cheers

Audz

Edited March 3, 2008 by audz_oz

[Guest natalie3]

Hi again...yip ive heard of the baby bonus!..what a country,,,they actually pay u to have babies..love it!

Your little one is also too cute!!..

Strange how all the best babies take their time to come out!!!

[audz_oz]

Hi Natalie

Thanks, yes that little bugger was staying in there where are u thinking of moving to in oz? hopefully to Perth, and in the northern suburbs!!! as it would be great to get to know you better.

Cheers

Audrey

[Guest The M's]

Hi Moms!

I'm very new to the forum, but have been reading.

I am gobsmacked at the cost of creche fee's in Oz! This will mean, that I will be unable to work for the first while in Oz.... Till my twins at least start school!

My kids will be on British passports - do we get 'free' schooling or kindy as the ozzies call it? And from when? (not quite understanding what is "free" and what is FREE!)

[Guest natalie3]

Hi Natalie

Thanks, yes that little bugger was staying in there where are u thinking of moving to in oz? hopefully to Perth, and in the northern suburbs!!! as it would be great to get to know you better.

Cheers

Audrey

All depends on where hubby gets work ..i hope for pert as well..as everyone says its so stunning there!..

[Guest natalie3]

Hi Moms!

I'm very new to the forum, but have been reading.

I am gobsmacked at the cost of creche fee's in Oz! This will mean, that I will be unable to work for the first while in Oz.... Till my twins at least start school!

My kids will be on British passports - do we get 'free' schooling or kindy as the ozzies call it? And from when? (not quite understanding what is "free" and what is FREE!)

I heard through the grapevine u get a percentage back from the Government (of childcare fees)..obviously this will only be the case if you are a PR..but i havent verified this rumor yet..

[Guest natalie3]

I heard through the grapevine u get a percentage back from the Government (of childcare fees)..obviously this will only be the case if you are a PR..but i havent verified this rumor yet..

Oh..but i know from the age of 5 u get free government schooling....

[audz_oz]

Hi

Well it would be really great if you could come to Perth:) We just love it here.

If you are a Pr you can get the child care benefit where the government does pay towards your day care fees, this is how ever calculated on your income, so the more you earn the less they contribute, and with government schools it isnt entirely free as you have to pay for their uniform and you are asked to contribute to some of the things for school, but is heavily subsidised by the government as apposed to sending your children to private school.

But the public schools here are 100% better than any of the ones in South Africa, not that i have experinced this for myself, but when my parents moved over 6 years ago my sister was still in Primary school and they have spoken with me about this, plus i also have friends who have their young kids at public primary school and are more than happy.

Hope this helps shed some light on these matters.

Cheers

Audrey

[sa2auz]

Hi guys

What a wonderful topic I am so glad it was started and its great to see your gorgeous pics. We've been in Aus for 2 and half years and we have 2 boys 9 and nearly 5.

This is my take (and excuse the spelling and if it sounds a bit disjointed I have nagging kids driving me nuts)

I must say the babysitting thing was never a huge weight on our minds and we are not big party animals and we mostly socialise with friends who have children and where our children are welcome. I have found that the Aussies have a group of 3 or 4 and they all baby sit for each other and they go to the childs house that needs to be babysat rather than the kids come to you. I just find that a bit of a pain specially for a Friday night when I want to be with my family and my kids don't understand why I get to go for a play and not them.

You can find tons of babysitters around ranging from $10 - $15 a hour but it does make your evening expensive if you are going our for dinner etc.

My south african friends and I look after each others kids at our own homes and the kids love having friends and the children really behave quite well so I think it is important to build up a group of friends you trust and like. Because we don't have much family in Aus our friends mean the world to us and are a real help when we have parents meetings etc etc

We are only on a 457 visa hopefully will have PR by mid year so although I would love another baby (hubby would rather swollow a watermelon whole) I will have to wait till we have PR. The thing is that I will have to work every day at least school hours to save up for a house never mind a deposit so that is also a pain in the butt. Once they start school I don't think you have a problem there are tons of jobs around a few mornings a week etc.

Speaking of jobs, the thing I love about Aus is nothing is frowned upon so you can really do so much to earn a few bob. A friend of mine packs bread on a Saturday morning from 6 - 10am and gets $40 a hour after tax. I paint 3 times a week during the mornings so that helps alot while the boys are at school also. In SA I was a PA but never really had much of a choice as far as my hours go and I just love the time I spend with the kids although there are days where I really need some stimulation as I feel like my brain has gone frot.

I think what is so wonderful is that children are a huge thing in Aus and there is soooo much to do and you can choose to get involved in as little or as much as you choose, so I think if you have kids you really have a better, faster and easier chance of making good friends.

Well all, got to see if spiderman is available for my sons birthday, have a great evening

S

[Guest The M's]

Speaking of jobs, the thing I love about Aus is nothing is frowned upon so you can really do so much to earn a few bob. A friend of mine packs bread on a Saturday morning from 6 - 10am and gets $40 a hour after tax. I paint 3 times a week during the mornings so that helps alot while the boys are at school also. In SA I was a PA but never really had much of a choice as far as my hours go and I just love the time I spend with the kids although there are days where I really need some stimulation as I feel like my brain has gone frot.

Hi ... me again...

I have a couple of questions regarding schooling or Kindy as its know in Aus...

1) My kids will be on a British Passport (Dad born in UK) and hoping to get in on a 457 visa early next year (2009), my kids will have just turned 4year old (twins) - would kindy be free for them (being on a Br passport) or is kindy also Gvt subsidised?

2) By the time they start 'real' school, we ideally should be PR - does having the british passport allow us any "perks"?

3) I'm also a PA in SA.... part time.... I'm glad to see there are job in Aus that are also part time to allow you to send your kids to kindy - can you send your kids to kindy say 3 days a week only? Do they have things like Tumble Tots or Mums and Tots classes in Aus?

Sorry for being so ignorant... I'm right at the beginning of the "move to Aus" phase!

[Aus457]

I know only girls will understand this question

I am 33 this year and we are going to Melbourne on a 457 and will apply for our PR the minute we arrive. Lets estimate it takes us 2 years - I will be 35 years old (young).

We have one little girl, Bianca who has just turned 6 - Would it be selfish of me to have another once our PR is granted. I will be ±36 with a ±8 year age gap between the children.

My DH says I will be too old

What you think ladies?

Penni

[Rose and Terry]

Hi All, and thanks for a great topic.

If all goes well we will be landing in Perth in July, and my little boy will be three by then. I am also hoping to start working on number 2 fairly soon after we land (hubby not totally convinced yet - worried about adding extra financial burden when we are still trying to find our feet).

I am not too concerned about babysitters, as we have also had to manage on our own up till now. We do not have any family in the same town, and hence have practically no social life. It is tough, and I really envy those with granny's at their beck and call, but you do manage. We just tend to socialize with people who also have kids and if Karl isn't welcome, we just don't go. A few weeks ago Granny was visiting and she stayed at home with Karl so we could have an evening out alone (the first one in over a year), and I must say I think you really appreciate those times when they are so few and far between. I think a lot of people take Grannies for granted...They don't realize how lucky they are to have someone they can drop the kids with when they feel like some time out. Luckily I had a fantastic ante-natal group, and we are all still in touch. We often have ladies nights out and leave the kids with their Dads. This is great time out, but I really wish for more of it with hubby.

My main concern is keeping Karl stimulated, He has been at daycare / preschool full day since he was 5 months old and is used to having lots of kids around. Even on weekends he gets bored very easily. I am also going to stay at home with him initially, until he is old enough to start Kindy, so I am going to have to find those playgroups and any other activities to keep him entertained. What do these kind of things cost in Perth, as we will obviously be on a very tight budget to start with? I find it very frustrating in SA that in order to entertain your kids you have to dig deep in your pockets, as simple things like parks, either don't exist or are not safe to go to. I won't even go to the beach on my own with Karl, as I am always looking over my shoulder.

Look forward to chatting more.

Cheers

Rose

[didl]

Hello!

I love this topic! Lots of info I really need.

We have two kids : 4 years (nearly 5) and 19 months. We are flying with Emirates to Melbourne end of May ( 8 hours + 2 hours airport + 13 hours), and I am already preparing myself for the very, very long flights. Also not sure how they will handle time difference and how one should approach it. If anyone has experince on this please share.

With my daughter we already did some preparation and she knows what will happen and that we will not go away for a holiday, but this is a move. She is very excited and knows excatly where is Australia and South Africa. I know she doesn't understand the reasons for the move, but she has the idea it is something importnat. She is aware that she will be speaking English in the school, and this is very welcomed from her side ( don't ask me why??)

However with my baby boy I am not sure what to tell him, as he anyway doesn't listen much, and his memory is very short. I suppose few days before we go I will tell him the full story anyway.

I also decided to make them a farwell party at the current school and Sunday school.

We are also worried on finding the fulll day care place for both and how easy will it be to find the right place and how long it takes to get the spot for 2 children. As we will not get any income at the start I hope we are going to get some money back as we are going over on the PR.

Cheers,

didl

[sa2auz]

Hi there

In NSW if you are on a 457 visa you will have to pay around $4500 per child for public schools. If you have PR you will pay around $150 a year plus text books, outtings etc. The cheapest way to go on a 457 visa is independant or religious schools you will pay around $2500 a year. My children go to a Catholic school and we are not Catholic and the school is amazing. Kindy in NSW is the same as grade 0 in SA ie the year before grade 1 or year 1 in Aus. In Queensland it is called reception year. In NSW preschool is the same as nursery school in SA. Preschools take 3 -4 year olds two days a week Thurs and Fridays from 9 - 3 and Mon, Tues, Wed for the 4 - 5 year olds. You also get long day care and occassional care which is less teachering but more care for working parents.

In other states you might not be required to pay for public schools on a 457 visa. In NSW you get a $50 per child for shoes or stationary etc from the Government. If you work you can claim back a small amount from centrelink if your children go to daycare or preschool (varies according to income). You can't do this on a 457.

As far as having another baby goes I don't think you are selfish and I don't think 8 years is too big, I had no choice in the matter I had fertility treatment for years so my gap is 5 years. I am wanting another baby and my eldest is nearly 10.

I think children are alot more affordable in Aus and lets face it we will all do anything for our kids we won't let them starve or live on the streets. You can have medicare and basically free schooling if you are prepared to accept the goverment schools and systems which really are very good. If you are thinking of private schools then maybe having a big family is a bit more tricky, you are looking at around $20 000 a year without the uniforms etc which seem to cost a bundle and private schools.

I find that large families are more common in Aus and alot of the families at our school have 3 children and strangely all the children are the same sex, weird hey.

Well have a great evening

S

[audz_oz]

Hi All

Good to see so many of you joining this conversation and all the like minded mums i have recently found a website which is was developed by the Australian government about raising children, it is fairly good from what i have seen and covers from babies to 8 yr olds and also gives you a section to find your local resources, hope this gives some of you some insightful information.

http://raisingchildren.net.au/

Well i hope you all enjoy the rest of your day, im off to watch Gossip girl, heehee

Cheers

Audrey

[Kurkprop]

My main concern is keeping Karl stimulated, He has been at daycare / preschool full day since he was 5 months old and is used to having lots of kids around. Even on weekends he gets bored very easily. I am also going to stay at home with him initially, until he is old enough to start Kindy, so I am going to have to find those playgroups and any other activities to keep him entertained. What do these kind of things cost in Perth, as we will obviously be on a very tight budget to start with? I find it very frustrating in SA that in order to entertain your kids you have to dig deep in your pockets, as simple things like parks, either don't exist or are not safe to go to. I won't even go to the beach on my own with Karl, as I am always looking over my shoulder.

Cheers

Rose

Hi Rose

I attend a playgroup once a week for a couple of hours and all it costs is $2 per session - which goes towards buying new toys etc. You can find out more about playgroups here:

http://www.playgroupaustralia.com.au/

It is a fantastic way to meet other mums, and you pick up great tips like which doctors, dentists etc are the best in the area.

[Guest natalie3]

I know only girls will understand this question

I am 33 this year and we are going to Melbourne on a 457 and will apply for our PR the minute we arrive. Lets estimate it takes us 2 years - I will be 35 years old (young).

We have one little girl, Bianca who has just turned 6 - Would it be selfish of me to have another once our PR is granted. I will be ±36 with a ±8 year age gap between the children.

My DH says I will be too old

What you think ladies?

Penni

I really dont think u will be too old..or that the age gap is too big (the bigger the gap the better if u ask me)..ig you feel fit and healthy then why the hell not?..im turning 30 next year and my little girl just turned 1..and i dont want less than a 4 year gap...so what is 2 years between friends hey???..i say go for it!!!

[Guest natalie3]

I am soo glad the topic I started is so popular...cheers to all the moms out there!!

Yes..immigration is a huge change..and I think a tad more complicated when kids are involved...each age brings its own issues..be it boyfriends when they are 16 ..or their favourite babyfood when they are 10 months.

I just keep reminding myself that there were many mommies before me that settled just fine (without the help of this amazing forum) and whose children are growing up healthy, happy and well educated in Oz..also..its all about attitude..we should all stay positive and focused (spelling) on the real reasons we are leaving..for our little darlings..

And in closing..i sometimes have to pinch myself to wake up and realise,,,Nika will grow up as and australian...and will be an australian..doing what ozzy kids do..etc etc..this i realise is something i must embrace in order for the whole immigration process to run smoothly.

[Guest natalie3]

I just had to bring this to the attention of the mommies on the forum..

Have any of you been reading news24 lately?...

Yet another moron leaving a baby in a hot car to almost die of heat-exaustion while they are shopping away!!..im so happy to hear that this time the culprets are being prosecuted..this stuff makes me so angry!

Now yes...i suppose i am not totally innocent in this regard...i park RIGHT in front of the door of the BP and open all the windows and pop into the shop to buy smokes..but ...i am out of the car for exactly 2 minutes ..all the while watching nika like a hawk!!!..my car being literally 4 metres away from me (the shop owner even complained once and said im blocking the entrance with my car!)..

Please please tell me i dont need to feel guilty about this..its obvious i do and dont want to be compared to people who leave their kids in a hot locked car to go shopping..or forget them in the car when they go to work (one baby i know of actually died because of this..dont know if u remember the lecturer who forgot to drop his baby at creche)

[Mauritzvw]

Hi guys I dont have kids but we are going to start trying a few months after we land. So glad to see so many are going to Perth !!! Aus457 I dont belive u are too old, my aunt had her first in December in Uk at age 38 and she is loving it!!

Candice

[Frenchy]

Yet another moron leaving a baby in a hot car to almost die of heat-exaustion while they are shopping away!!..im so happy to hear that this time the culprets are being prosecuted..this stuff makes me so angry!

Now yes...i suppose i am not totally innocent in this regard...i park RIGHT in front of the door of the BP and open all the windows and pop into the shop to buy smokes..but ...i am out of the car for exactly 2 minutes ..all the while watching nika like a hawk!!!..my car being literally 4 metres away from me (the shop owner even complained once and said im blocking the entrance with my car!)..

Please please tell me i dont need to feel guilty about this..

Hi Natalie3

I agree, it's horrific to think that somebody can forget a baby in a car. I get nightmares if i think what that child went through in that hot car.

As regards to you leaving the kids in the car to buy something................are you not afraid that somebody might hijack your car and kids?? Back in SA, I stopped at the ATM and was afraid to leave my child in the car!! Later I didn't even go to the ATM if she was in the car.

Regards

Frenchy