Melbourne, here we come!

[RYLC]

14 hours ago, Mel-B said:

So were in Melbourne, and the kids have not adjusted yet. That is something I did NOT foresee... yikes. Hence we have not been able to really do or see anything.  SLOW START. Will update this journal when i have something to share

 

My suggestion is to send hubby out to do what admin he can on his own and then swop over and you do yours.  People have posted on here before about having to drag jetlagged children around and things not going as smoothly as they expected at say the bank or Medicare.  They are then annoyed with the system rather than considering that they could have done things differently.  Also if you have access to a landline phone, then make as many calls as possible to find out exactly what you need to bring in etc.  If you need to phone Centrelink then be prepared for a very long wait on hold.  You will get through eventually.  Just put the phone on speaker and do other things while you are waiting.  So be smart and do some of the admin in relay so that the kids can be at "home" watching ABC Kids on TV instead.  Soooo much less stress for everybody involved.

 

 

[Mel-B]

Thank you Mara!

 

Finally got to the bank, Medicare and Centrelink. Possibly buying a car tomorrow and then doing park hopping with kids.

Melbourne is awesome, just wish kiddos would chill.

Next week the big job hunt begins, and rental hunt.

 

Our furnished apartment has no tumble dryer. Every time I turn my back it drizzles and my washing outside is wet again haha When we move I am sooooooo investing in a tumble dryer.

 

Weather wise I am enjoying it after the CONSTANT heatwave in Pretoria from September 2015. I am enjoying the multicultural mix of people everywhere, I actually like BANKING, what a pleasure! I like making small talk with random people making dry

humour jokes or guessing I am from South Africa due to my accent. It is sad/realistic that every person who asked me ARE YOU FROM SOUTH AFRICA? Followed that up with I HEARD ITS REALLY BAD OVER THERE.

 

Anyways, I am hoping we will find our feet, and the kids will adjust. I thought they would be more easy going. But this too shall pass.

 

In retrospect it was harder the last 2 days than expected before we left. I was in flatspin over the luggage and the kids (who were both sick) and the logistics of 11 pieces of luggage. It passed in a blur, and I cried at the airport even though I felt very ready. I was sad looking out the window as we took off, realising I probably wont go back... and how much I love my family.

 

The first day here I regretted the move, I thought that we have definitely over done it and are totally mad. I felt (and still feel) lost and unfamiliar. By the second day I realised that I would not leave. The idea of being free of the crazy SA politics and problems made me feel free. We will face our problems here, having no support, and being foreigners in a huge city. But thats ok. It too shall pass (my motto keeping me sane).

 

Once we have a job and a more permanent rental things will look up. In the meantime I feel privileged to be here. Will slowly feel more at home It was much harder overall emotionally than I expected!!

 

 

 

[Chips]

Am sure it feels good to be a country that has everthing that works well, and not having to look over your shoulder each time. Hopefully the kids will settle soon and you will all enjoy Melbourne. Am also sick worried of leaving my dad and brother behind my mum recently passed away and it hasn't been easy on us all, it's really hard to even think about leaving them behind.

[Mel-B]

Aw Chips, sorry to hear

 

The emotional sacrifices are worth it, sad but true. It isn't easy though. But I applaud every person who has the guts to do this.

 

SA in my opinion is like a strange experiment gone wrong. I see the posts on facebook of my SA family and friends and the news seems UNREAL. I think foreigners would think that we are making this stuff up.

[Shellfish]

18 hours ago, Mel-B said:

I like making small talk with random people making dry

humour jokes

Random small talk is very big in Australia - there isn't that conservative, self consciousness that plagues South Africans. 

[Mel-B]

We visited the school today that our daughter liked. We were WOWED to say the least. This just made it all worth it, seeing the facilities she will be taught at, it is an IMMENSE privilege. He eyes lit up seeing all the friendly little faces, I am falling in love with this city a little more every day. It sure isn't perfect, but what is?

 

Why is there so much traffic all day long. Don't people use the train?!

[Mara]

@Mel-B welcome to Melbourne's traffic... now you will realise why distance is time calculated rather than kilometre calculated... If you try and explain to someone how far it is from a to b, then you would hear them saying it is about 30mins in traffic and 15mins without.... not that it is about 10 klm's apart!

Edited February 26, 2016 by Mara

[Mel-B]

I now FULLY understand Mara You can research and read as much as you want, nothing beats 1st hand experience haha!  

 

[Shellfish]

21 hours ago, Mel-B said:

We visited the school today that our daughter liked. We were WOWED to say the least. This just made it all worth it, seeing the facilities she will be taught at, it is an IMMENSE privilege. He eyes lit up seeing all the friendly little faces, I am falling in love with this city a little more every day. It sure isn't perfect, but what is?

 

Why is there so much traffic all day long. Don't people use the train?!

Good to hear, Mel. 

Did you go with a school in Doncaster?

[Mel-B]

We chose Birralee Primary in Doncaster. I called the school to confirm whether the rental we were considering was zoned for the school. They said they have a spot open in grade 3 so would take her regardless of the zone. So we went to look at it and our daughter LOVED it, so done. How bad could it be? It is a relatively small school (number of kids) the grounds seem a fair size. Multi cultured, good facilities, etc etc. We still don't have a rental though. The rental market is tough and the agents are ... not what you would expect. But oh well, onward we go!! 

 

I can't wait to look back at this crazy time and laugh about it. Not there yet.

[Mara]

@Mel-B, I wish you had been able to consider Sunbury, there are many rentals here....

[Mel-B]

We might move again. We sat pondering this... as we don't know where husband will be working he wanted to stay central, then see if he is happy and then we re asses. I think its probably the familiarity that is attractive to him at this stage, we spent a lot of time in Eltham and Doncaster on our trip here. Eltham is too far out in a specific direction. The same with Sunbury. If he works in the CBD then it is a no brainer as the train make it easy. If he works in Eastern or Southern suburbs, then being far out that way makes travel time too long. He wants to keep travel time short. So this will be temporary for now, unless our daughter flourishes then we just stay in any case. Too many IFS. I am a list person and a plan person. So far none of my lists or plans have helped.

 

Maybe I should just eat Timtam's and drink wine until it makes more sense to me. What wine pairs well with Timtams?

 

[Sunnyskies]

Mel, you may be able to move to Mont Albert North and he can do 10 minute drive to train station and your daughter won't have to move schools again, although schools in that area also v good.

 

If he gets job on the bay I recommend that you move.

[Shellfish]

44 minutes ago, Mel-B said:

The rental market is tough and the agents are ... not what you would expect.

This is why Australian's call them "land rats" 

 

[Mel-B]

So I've been scarce on the forums. Trying to learn about this City and its consuming us. But in a good way. We had a rough start, but its getting better. Being out of your comfort zone really challenges you in different ways! Some days I long for my old life and routine, just because it was so "easy"... I then remind myself how bored I was with that bubbled routine. The mind plays tricks on you like that. Immigration is not for sissies and it takes a solid marriage to make it through the emotional ups and downs. I was always trying to get my friends and family to move with us, but I will never try and convince anyone ever again. It is a hard thing to do - to immigrate - and if you are not dead set on making  it work it won't work. It is easy to say YES I will camp and take a lower salary and give up my family and sell my belongings and start all over etc etc. when you are here and that becomes reality - then you realise what you signed up for. Well that was me, perhaps I was unprepared. Perhaps I thought I was stronger than I really am. What I do know is we are making it work, and our marriage is solid, our kids have a future so life is good, although some mornings I wake up and feel anxious, or panicked and truly alone.

 

I live for the small victories - driving somewhere without Google maps, or taking a wrong turn and finding my way home on my own. That to me has made a bit of a difference. The first 2 weeks I felt like a cork bobbing about on the ocean, and the more I know where I am the more grounded I feel.

 

Love our rental, love our car, love my daughters school, love the suburb, love the parks. Life is good. But its been a hectic adjustment, and I miss my family more than I thought I would. Skype is just not the same, but it will eventually become the new normal.

 

I don't want to sound negative, I just think it is harder for some than others - the jetlag was a terrible thing for me personally, it made me feel quite ill for the first 3 weeks. I am planning to never leave for anywhere that comes with jetlag EVER again

 

 

[RedPanda]

Vasbyt. I've heard it gets better, the longer you do it.

Rack up those small wins, and if it's a possibility for you, try to get regular (enjoyable) exercise, like walking or cycling or whatever gets you out and about. I often forget how much that can help to improve one's mood.

[Shellfish]

You just need to give yourself a chance to learn the ropes - same as starting a new job...it gets much easier as time goes on.

Having said that, I wouldn't wish choosing between leaving a country, roots, loved ones or choosing a future for my children on my worst enemy. However I would pick my children's future every...single...time. 

 

Don't be hard on yourself for using googlemaps - I have been here 13 years and I would (literally) be lost without my GPS. That's what they're there for....

Edited March 18, 2016 by Shellfish

[RedPanda]

We're planning on using a GPS non-stop for at least the first 6 months or so, just for the (seemingly) arbitrary speed limit changes along the routes. I can understand keeping to the limit, but changing it every few km's....? Guess we'll get used to it.

[RYLC]

46 minutes ago, RedPanda said:

 (seemingly) arbitrary speed limit changes along the routes. I can understand keeping to the limit, but changing it every few km's....? Guess we'll get used to it.

 

This is for school zones, koala crossings, outside shopping areas, old age homes, etc.  They are there for a reason even if the reason isn't initially obvious.

[BrendanH]

4 hours ago, RedPanda said:

We're planning on using a GPS non-stop for at least the first 6 months or so, just for the (seemingly) arbitrary speed limit changes along the routes. I can understand keeping to the limit, but changing it every few km's....? Guess we'll get used to it.

 

My advice is to start ditching the GPS as soon as possible (And ACT has ridiculous arbitrary speed limits.). I found myself using the GPS as a crutch and not actually learning my way around the city. I now know generally how to get to different parts of the city without needing the GPS and the routes I know are much shorter than the insane routes that damn contraption thinks are best.

 

 

[Mel-B]

So feeling much more settled. Were about 6 weeks in. All that's missing is a job for husband - stressful to say the least. But everything else is good. I miss my family, but really, this city is great and I see SO much opportunity and potential for the future, actually makes me excited. We are going to Planetshakers church, which has welcomed us and we made some friends there. That has helped me feel more grounded, knowing people. Next I would LOVE to meet up with Mara ... the drive to Sunbury is JUST SO FAR!!!! Hehehe, and yes, 1st world problems are real problems too. I can't understand why people who can immigrate here don't. Although the emotional turmoil for the first 2 to 3 weeks was pretty intense, now that its over I can see clearly again. I am feeling blessed and happy, and we are eagerly awaiting my husbands dream job to appear ! *staying positive*

[Sassyninja]

Hi Mel-B 

 

Any news? Hubby got his dream job yet?

[Mel-B]

Hi Sassyninja. NOPE.

But feeling positive, all good things in time. An agent emailed him about chatting on Monday for a 15 month contract.

 

In a week's time he is scheduled to meet for a face to face at a large (AMAZING) company that might lead to a job offer. We are praying for this role, its a life changer. (Next week Friday at 9:00 in the morning). This would be his dream job, and worth the wait. So excited and nervous at the same time!! Don't know how to stop hyperventilating for the next week hahaha

[Sassyninja]

Well that sounds promising. Will hold thumbs! 

 

We'll probably be in Melbourne in July!

[Mara]

@Mel-B had to laugh about how far away we are... you do know there are many hotels around the airport where you could overnight on your way to visit us? Sorry just could not resist!