Mel-B Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 (edited) It is ironic that when I sat down to attempt and capture my feelings it came rolling out in Afrikaans. Perhaps this is a great ode in my own way to South Africa or some long forgotten heritage. Perhaps the glass of wine I had with lunch has something to do with it. But here goes, please excuse spelling errors, I usually write in English. Die wolke strek oor die horison. Die wind speel tergend met die blare. My rekenaar dreun saggies in my ore. Ek staar na die skerm, wat leeg, en stil na my toe terug staar. Ek wonder, ek twyfel. Wat as, wat kon? Daar lê ‘n vreemde swaar gevoel in my hart, een gemeng met opgewondenheid en vrees. Ek het al die redes waarom ons gaan al lankal vergeet. Daar is nie meer redes nie, net die kaal feit dat ons dit nou doen. Ek pak my lewe in ‘n boks. Ek het baie gemors vergader oor die jare. Hierdie “goed” was kosbaar vir my. In die lig van die stappe wat ek nou gaan neem, beteken dit niks nie. Ek het wel gehoor dat die kleingoed beter aanpas in ‘n bekende omgewing, so ek hou maar van my gemors. Ek het opgehou om my nuus te deel met almal. Hulle geskokte gesigte en onopgewondenheid laat my net twyfel. My vreugde het intussen verander in onsekerheid en verlange. Ek is bang. Maar ek sê dit nie hard op nie. My man is hartseer oor sy broer, want hy gaan hom vreeslik mis. Ons praat al meer as 6 jaar oor eendag as ons in Australia woon… en toe kom die lang lang wag. Die wag was die ergste vir my. Ek het klaar opgegee op wat hier is vir my. Of dalk wat hier was. Dit is al hoe ek dit kan regkry. Want dit is moeilik. Dit is swaar. Nog ‘n kind het gekom, ek het my graad voltooi, ons het honde gekry, ‘n nuwe kar, ‘n nuwe huis. Ek het gesettle, want ek konie meer so op ‘n EENDAG lewe nie. Nou kom die visa! Net toe ek besluit om ‘n groente tuin te plant. God het sy redes vir alles, so ek pak my groentetuin planne ook in ‘n boks. Dalk kan ek dit daar doen. Ek lees maar nog oor my amper nuwe land. Kyk na prentjies in boeke. Ek voel soos ‘n pioneer wat op ‘n skip gaan klim en Amerika gaan ondek. Dit help om meer te weet. Ek lees my amper nuwe land se oggendblad op die internet. Ek wil weet watter slegte nuus vir ons voorlê. Daar is nie veel nie. Ek gaan my familie mis. My engel van ‘n ma. My rotsvaste pa. My pragtige sussies. My tante se stories, my niggies se vriendelike gesiggies. My aangetroude familie wat soos my eie is. My pa se vrou en haar skapies. My man se pa en sy geliefdes. Ek gaan my vriende mis. Ons sien mekaar nie baie nie, ons gesels maar meestal oor skype, en facebook, en praat op die foon as wat ons mekaar werklik sien. So nie veel gaan verander nie… maar tog gaan dit. Dit sal nie dieselfde wees nie. My kollegas, wat ek al langer as tien jaar ken. Dit is ‘n leeftyd. Ek gaan hulle nooit weer sien nie. My hond. My arme hond. My moeder neem hom in. Hy is dierbaar, en moet nou ‘n prys betaal wat net te hoog is vir enige siel. Ek is so jammer dat ek hom nie kan saamneem nie. Hy en my moeder kan mekaar geselskap hou. Dit laat my bietjie beter voel. Ons was gelukkig, het ‘n lewe gebou as pasgetroudes. Toe kom ons babatjie, en alles het verander. Die dag toe ons haar huis toe neem, het die ontnugterinde waarheid ons getref. Sy sal nooit kan speel in die veld nie. Sy sal nooit kan ry met haar fietsie na haar maaitjie se huis toe nie. Sy sal nooit kan gaan lê op die gras buite en net staar na die sterre in die nag nie. Sy sal nooit weet hoe dit voel om met oop vensters te slaap op ‘n warm somersaand nie. Dit is mos alles deel van kind wees? Hoe gaan sy wees as sy grootword agter mure en tralies, met haar ma wat spring elke keer as ‘n hond blaf? Ek voel skaam om te herken hoe bang ek werklik is. Dan dink ek aan ‘n toekoms waar ek by die huis kan bly met my kind sonder om ons toe te sluit tot pa tuis is. Wat ‘n voorreg! Ek dink aan ‘n toekoms waar ons kan gaan piekniek hou en braai in die nag as ons lus is. Ek dink aan die dae wat ons kan stap langs die strand, sonder om elke byganger te sien as ‘n verdagte. Ek dink aan warm aande met oop vensters. Ek dink aan ‘n tuin sonder mure (ons mag dalk ons bure leer ken!) Daar is baie om te ontdek in ons amper nuwe land, nuwe herinneringe om te bou. Nuwe tradisies om te begin. Nuwe gemors om op te gaar! Wat ek eintlik wil sê is dat alhoewel dit swaar is vir ons, liewe familie en vriende, hoop ons dat julle ons redes verstaan, al verstaan ons nie dalk elke dag self nie! Ons hoop dat die afstand nie te groot gaan word oor die jare nie. Ons hoop dat julle ‘n pad kry wat vir julle sal reg voel, en vrede sal gee. Ons het elk net een lewe, ons moet hom leef soos ons maar dink is beste. Ons is lief vir julle, ons mis julle al klaar. Ons hoop julle gaan ons mis, maar ook bly wees vir ons. So met trane in ons oe, en glimlagte op ons gesigte, se ons totsiens geliefdes. Mag God julle seen! Edited January 12, 2016 by Mel-B 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skapie Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Ai Mel-B, jy het my nou snot en trane laat huil! Dis ook seker iets wat ons in die toekoms nie meer sal kan sê nie, want niemand gaan weet waarvan ons praat nie: snot en trane. Die Here het ñ pad vir ons almal, ons moet net die krag en geloof hê om daai pad te loop. Hy bring geleenthede oor ons pad vir ñ rede. Jou familie en vriende sal verstaan. Dalk nie nou nie, maar wel eendag. En jy kan altyd kom kuier. Of hulle vir jou. Waar daar ñ wil is, is daar altyd ñ weg. Baie sterkte, vrede, krag en liefde vir jou. Finally, you've done it! Kyk net vorentoe. xxx 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedPanda Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Wat 'n klein juweeltjie. Dit is baie mooi geskryf. Aan die einde van die dag is die taal wat in jou siel is die een waarin jy voel. Dit is nie die een waarin jy dink nie. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ottg Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Ek beskou myself nie as 'n baie emosionele mens nie...dink dit is die weermag wat dit doen. Maar dit is die mooiste stuk wat ek nou in 'n langtyd gelees het. Mooi Afrikaans! Sjoe dit laas in my literatuurstudies opskool gesien...so uit die hart, so genadeloos waar! Sterkte met julle immigrasie! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 I do not understand Afrikaans but I am assuming Congratulations is in order. Melbourne is really such a beautiful city. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Emma, you are right, congratulations are in order, as they applied for a 175 in 2008 and were only granted their PR in 2014. The post is all about the joy, disappointment with the wait, building a new life, then getting the visa and now the trepidation of leaving all things familiar and starting over again. Beautifully written and heart wrenching! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Thankyou Mara for your explanation. I always feel like I am missing out when I don't understand what people are saying. Starting the journey in 2008 and finally getting PR in 2014 is a long road. It gives everyone else hope. ? Well done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Hi Emma That is true, however the last 175's were a very sad state of affairs.... some of them were virtually just waiting for their visas to be issued....when the new system was rolled out in Australia and all of their applications were put on hold. They then processed the new system's visas first, and when they had time, worked on the old 175 visas. The saddest part in all of this that towards the end of last year, those with 175 visas that were still waiting patiently, were told that their applications were now all cancelled and they would be refunded their application fee, however, obviously not their agents fee, for those that had used an agent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel-B Posted January 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Today we saw my brother-in-law off. He is flying to Finland to attempt and make a life there. Stunning place apart from the freezing cold! I am excited to go visit them sometime in the future. The Northern lights are on my bucket list and a sleigh ride with huskies would be epic too. One must also do the sauna and ice dive bit when in Finland, so many things to look forward to. It was emotionally draining for me, and my 8 year old cried for 2 hours. She will miss her uncle terribly. In 4 weeks it will be us on a plane jetting off to greener pastures (or so one hopes). We are definitely jetting off - but will it be greener? No time for doubts now, but the mind can get tricky when the days are ticking off close to the big day. 30 Days until down the rabbit hole we go! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 I wish you strength for the last few weeks and days Mel-B... they will go past in a flash! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedPanda Posted January 14, 2016 Report Share Posted January 14, 2016 My in-laws went to see the northern lights. They say it's a disappointment because you can only see the green colours in photographs, with slightly longer exposures. They say with the naked eye you see a mild, slightly greenish mist, but not the 'curtains of light' that you see in NatGeo photographs. But hey, if you are going to be that close, you might as well go take a look for yourself! Perhaps they had a dud season? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel-B Posted January 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2016 Oh Redpanda that is so disappointing. Pinterest can get me so worked up with great expectations. Places on Pinterest can be so WOW and then in real life so BLAH. I think I need more coffee. My other Finland bucket list item was going on a husky sled. Someone said that the dogs pee and poop on you while running. So hmmmm ya not sure I'm prepared to do that. So the bucket list for Finland is looking more like this now: 1. Build snowman. 2. Throw husband with snowballs. 3. Sit at fire and drink hot chocolate with Finnish marshmallows in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 14, 2016 Report Share Posted January 14, 2016 Don't be so disappointed Mel. In Australia at certain times you can see the Southern lights or Aurora Australis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairGo Posted January 14, 2016 Report Share Posted January 14, 2016 Sjoe, hartroerende stukkie. Dink ek gaan nou heeldag hartseer wees. Laat mens net weer besef hoe groot skuif dit is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmNew Posted January 14, 2016 Report Share Posted January 14, 2016 19 hours ago, Mel-B said: 30 Days until down the rabbit hole we go! It's a good rabbit hole to head into ( well, I think so anyway ) Thank you for baring your soul and sharing your thoughts. Afrikaans can sometimes just describe things so well. You can sense the emotions in the words - there is also a visual image that the words give that sometimes English just cannot convey. All the best ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel-B Posted January 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2016 4 hours ago, emma.yenkanna said: Don't be so disappointed Mel. In Australia at certain times you can see the Southern lights or Aurora Australis. OH WOW. Editing the bucket list Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel-B Posted February 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2016 Bayleys packed up our belongings today. 12 hours of grueling doing nothing. Watching them pack. It is feeling real now. 11 days to go. This past Friday was our last official work day for both husband and myself. The GREAT news is that his company wants to keep him as a consultant and developer even being in Oz, for at least 3 months. Blessed!!! That means we don't have to empty our entire piggy banky to live on until husband gets a job. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted February 1, 2016 Report Share Posted February 1, 2016 Wow Mel-B what a wonderful blessing that hubby has work for the next three months.... I look forward to meeting your family when you arrive. Good luck and prayers for the last few days... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedPanda Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 You can do it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel-B Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 OK so costs. They seem to get more daily! - Our half crate has totaled R61 183 including insurance. - Airbnb 2 bedroom apartment in Doncaster, Melbourne R31 876 for 3 weeks. - 4 Tickets to Melbourne R30 000 with 40kg luggage concession each. Hopefully this helps someone to budget their move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chips Posted February 14, 2016 Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Hope you guys had a pleasant flight and enjoying Melbourne. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel-B Posted February 18, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 So were in Melbourne, and the kids have not adjusted yet. That is something I did NOT foresee... yikes. Hence we have not been able to really do or see anything. SLOW START. Will update this journal when i have something to share 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmNew Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 Welcome Hope the kids adjust soon.... take the time out to recover from all that has led to this point. Probably for the best that you're not running around like a headless chicken at the moment..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedPanda Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 9 hours ago, Mel-B said: So were in Melbourne, and the kids have not adjusted yet. That is something I did NOT foresee... yikes. Hence we have not been able to really do or see anything. SLOW START. Will update this journal when i have something to share As long as you are not contemplating return tickets, then slow is still not backwards. All the best with settling in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 @Mel-B welcome, I had wondered what had happened to you. Remember to call if you need any advice or assistance. If you wish to come and check where we live, you are always welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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