Australian Children/Youth

[Karen]

Thanks Dax and Tracy.

I have to tell you that I have a very soft spot for Australia, as my sister and her family live in Sydney and I have been there twice in the past ten years for visits. I loved every minute if my time in the Lucky Country. If we had seen Aus before coming here, I have no doubt we would have landed up there too.

It took me a long time to settle down in Toronto and stop being gobsmacked by all the cultural differences ( not to mention the winters!), but I can now see that my mindset has done a complete turnabout in the 14 years we have lived here. My kids were in grades 2 and 4 when we arrived and they both went through the public school system. If you wish to read more about my experiences, go to SACanada and meander throough the journals and educational threads for my postings. You will be surprised to see that many of your concerns about your children are universal to all immigrants.

South Africans come with very high expectations. We came from a very exclusive educational setting which was representative of the uptight and rigid society we were part of. I can remember how important it was to line up, be compliant, regurgitate the notes and even take abuse from teachers. Perhaps things have gone completely the other way now, what with the internet making the world a very global village and everyone knowing their rights, but I still think this is way better than the education I had in SA. Kids here are able to think laterally and not just spew out the textbooks verbatim. Uniforms are a good thing - they create a sense of pride and belonging and even the playing field for all income groups, but they also take away the amazing creativity and individuality of kids at a time of life when experimentation and learning to be the person you will become are the norm. I know that most teens look pretty much the same anyway, as they are mostly slaves to what is 'in' in the stores, but every now and then, I come across future fashion designers with such style and panache, it blows me away!! Also, some teens look and feel downright frumpy in uniforms and would feel happier wearing their own comfortable gear to school.

I find it really ironic here in Canada, that the sloppiest teens often turn into model young adults, neatly kitted out in their work suits etc. I see this in my kids and their friends, and it has made me realise that what kids wear in their youth means zilch. If they are good people from loving and caring homes and know what their parents expect from them, that is all that matters. The rest will take care of itself.

Keep setting good examples for your kids for them to learn from, keep the lines of communication wide open and never stop telling them how much you love and care for them and how proud you are of them. They won't want to let you down easily!

[AfrikaSon]

...thx to all & everybody...

what an absolutly great read, my best in over two weeks, wow - and honestly, i'm more willing than ever to raise my kids in oz! we're so, so looking forward to it, thx again.

by the way, today, most of my morning was spent at home affairs...let me tell you you can't imagine what happend in the last year to the place and its people, it's really a shame. and the fact that i didn't walk out of there with TB & what-knows-else is purely due to Grace. the fact that my wife, myself and all our friends are still alive and well is purely thx to Grace, blood of Jesus Christ kind of grace yes - and that makes me so much more enthusiastic and absolutlely positive about a future in Oz!

[DesV]

Ever heard the idiom

"

show me your friends and I will tell you who you are" Well its true, your kids will attract like minded kids, their friends will tollerate your rules and enjoy having boundaries, all kids do, you get schools and schools, the trick is to find a school at is in line with your expectations.

Every place on earth has a bad element and the bad element is always the ones that get noticed, so inore them and look for the good element thats where your kids will fit in

To be honest generally I have found Aussie kids to be outspoken, know their rights can be loud but tell them off for bad language you will get an apology, kids are kids world wide.

Your kids are and always will be a reflection of your standards and upbringing.

Happy parenting

Des

[terbo]

WOW What a fascinating read!!!! Being involved in education as well as being a parent I found this incredibly interesting.

What strikes me in many of the posts I have read is how many of us South Africans (without consciously being aware of it I hope )think that the South African traditional "children should be seen and not heard" approach is somehow superior or better than Aussie approaches. Yes values, morals and all those important things are taught at home but children also need to be allowed to express themselves and become their own people....and not necessarily clones of who we expect they should be!

Much about the way children are raised in South Africa (even now) is very abnormal due to a myriad of reasons ranging from historical to socio-political. I think that South African kids are for these reasons more uptight and not as relaxed as perhaps their Aussie counterparts....and I would wager they will take longer to get to know themselves as adults.

I think we as South African parents need to relax the reigns a little and let our kids find their own feet in their new country before coming down on them about all sorts of discipline issues.

I teach at an old large traditional boys' high school. Boys are barked at to tuck shirts in, shave , cut hair, greet adults etc.....all good and well but inevitably the individual is lost here in many instances. I guess it is about balance and recognising that different is not necessarily bad.

Our children are agents of change........whether that change is for good or bad is up to us.

[Nics]

I am fascinated with all the views and how we as parents torment themselves.

Our Australian experience regarding all facets of our son's life has been a truly awesome.

He has flourished beyond comprehension. Just this weekend he was telling us that he is addicted to life and how much he loves his life. He is pre-teen. Australia has given him all kinds of opportunities to tap into his talents and we have seen him grow into a wonderful little person - so we truly feel grateful to this country for giving him those opportunities - but when it comes to his character - that is what he gets at home.

Correctly so - there are some seriously deranged kids over here that blow my mind, but they have had absolutely no affect on our son. I think a lot of parents have lost their power - for some reason we are at the mercy of our kids - we need to be strong and be leaders for them. We need to be confident in our rules/decisions and don't waiver. I see parents breaking their own rules repeatedly just to "keep the peace". The best thing I ever did was attend a course in South Africa called - "Strong mothers - Strong Sons". Fantastic course and self explanatory.

So - in conclusion, I do believe that it helps to make your job as a parent easier if your child is in a nice school/environment - but not everybody can afford it or has access to the right school/environment - and if that is so critical then how do you explain the amazing kids that come out of bad environments? At the end of the day the power lies in the hands of the parents - be strong - this is a scary world and they need you to be strong for them (both spiritually and in your values/rules). Also be the kind of person you want your child to be - we forget to look at ourselves - we want our kids to be happy positive people - but are we happy positive people or can we catch ourselves doing things like complaining consistantly or being materialistic - trying to fit in etc. etc.?

I can honestly say that my views are objective - as my son is in an old tie private school at the moment.

I loved the last line from terbo - Our children are agents of change........whether that change is for good or bad is up to us.

[LIGGIE]

Haai Almal

Ek is nog aan die heel begin stadium. Ons het laas week vir die eerste keer die moontlikheid van die "beloofde land" oorweeg.

En soos almal weet - is daar miljoene vrae!

Op hierdie onderwerp wil ek weet of sukkel die kinders maar om aan te pas? Ek het drie bloedjies, 10, 12 en 15. Hulle is almal opgewonde oor die gedagte, maar ma se hart krimp in een oor die gedagte van aanpassing in 'n vreemde skool, wat nog te praat van 'n engelse skool!

Hulle is absoluut groot gemaak in 'n "comfort zone". Vandat hulle gebore is het ons nog nooit getrek nie. Ons bly al vir die afgelope 25 jaar in dieselfde dorp en vir die afgelope 16 jaar in dieselfde huis.

Ek vermoed dit gaan dalk 'n bietjie moeilik wees. Ek is bereid om bietjie swaar te trek, maar weet nie of my kinders dit kan hanteer nie en my man is bietjie bang vir die risiko.

Help asseblief!

Liggie

[pollie]

Haai Almal

Ek is nog aan die heel begin stadium. Ons het laas week vir die eerste keer die moontlikheid van die "beloofde land" oorweeg.

En soos almal weet - is daar miljoene vrae!

Op hierdie onderwerp wil ek weet of sukkel die kinders maar om aan te pas? Ek het drie bloedjies, 10, 12 en 15. Hulle is almal opgewonde oor die gedagte, maar ma se hart krimp in een oor die gedagte van aanpassing in 'n vreemde skool, wat nog te praat van 'n engelse skool!

Hulle is absoluut groot gemaak in 'n "comfort zone". Vandat hulle gebore is het ons nog nooit getrek nie. Ons bly al vir die afgelope 25 jaar in dieselfde dorp en vir die afgelope 16 jaar in dieselfde huis.

Ek vermoed dit gaan dalk 'n bietjie moeilik wees. Ek is bereid om bietjie swaar te trek, maar weet nie of my kinders dit kan hanteer nie en my man is bietjie bang vir die risiko.

Help asseblief!

Liggie

hallo liggie

Ek weet presies hoe jy voel ons het ook vir 20 jaar in die selfde dorp gebly en ook 15 jaar in dieselfde huis.My kinders het nooit n ander plek geken nie. :unsure:Soms moet mens net vasbyt en n verandering maak. Ons het ons kinders baie voorberei en baie as gesin daaroor gepraat dit het baie gehelp. Ons seuns is 7,11 en 13 hulle was baie opgewonde en het die vlieg baie geniet.hulle het natuurlik baie gehuil oor hulle vriende, onderwysers en self ons honde wat ons moes weggee Hulle is ook van afrikaans na engelse skole toe. Ek glo kinders onder 12 pas makliker aan as groter kinders en veral moeilik vir hulle om vriende te maak.Kinders pas darem makliker aan as ons groot mense.Na 4 maande hier het my kinders wonderlik aan gepas.Dit raak darem weer beter as mens die omgewing weer leer ken en dit vat nie lank nie.

sterkte

pollie

Hi everyone,

I am back on my Honesty and Balance soapbox, but have another bee in my bonnet…

Two very sweet, dear friends of mine from this forum have in the past three days discussed the topic of Australia Youth/Children with me. From what I have heard I am seriously concerned... S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y !!! I have spent a great deal of time and effort whipping up my children into the fabulous, well-mannered, educated specimens that they are currently and I am not about to have them ruined. Sharksfan was talking about the monster-delinquents of the UK and I have experienced the same phenomenon in Holland. Respect, honesty, hard-work, loyalty, good manners, being polite, etc are all basics to me, and things that I expect from my children. But from what I understand the average Australian child is 7 light years removed from these unfamiliar concepts...

I had no idea that many of the children in Australia were actually close cousins to British children (in behaviour and attitude). How bad is the situation and how are you combating it, if at all possible. Please don't give me any of those "norms and values should be taught at home" speeches, as I am already teaching my children norms, values and good Christian ethics at home. Currently I have the support and backing of a school, church and society that share my ideas, norms and values to a large extent and it has been a PLEASURE, compared to Holland where it was a constant up-hill battle.

I would love to hear your experiences on this. Have you experienced problems with your children, Ozzie friends of your children ? Do you feel you have the support of the school and society ? Do you send your kids off to school every day only to spend the better hours of evenings and weekends trying to undo most of the damage ? Did putting your children in a Christian or Private School make a difference in getting some support... I am surprised that this issue has never been raised before, as it seems like a really big deal to me. Might even be a show-stopper !!!!

I am looking forward to hearing from you. *Thanks in advance *

Love

Disillusioned Sista

HI

EK WAS OOK AAN DIE BEGIN BEKOMMERD HET OOK MY KINDERS IN PRIVAAT SKOLE GESIT. KINDERS BLY KINDERS EN OF HULLE IN SA IS OF IN AU .DAAR SAL ALTYD MAAR N PAAR WEES.

POLLIE