Hoekom kan ons nie saamstaan nie?

[Massyn]

Hier is iets wat my opgeval het... Wanneer daar dinge vir Suid Afrikaners gereel word in Australie, is daar bitter min "belangstelling". Hier is 'n klomp van ons, maar tog wanneer daar dinge gereel word, is daar net 'n klein handjie vol wat gewoonlik sal saam kom, en die res, wel, ja, waar is hulle?

Julle het seker gehoor dat Theuns Jordaan nie meer Auz toe kom nie weens 'n gebrek aan belangstelling. Nou vra ek jou - met 20,000 plus ZA'ers hier in Sydney alleen, waarvan die meeste heel moontlik vir Theuns ken, hoe is dit moontlik dat ons ouens nie kan saamstaan en se "Hey, kom ons gaan kyk die ou, al is dit net om ander ZA'ers te ontmoet?" Ek kry die idee baie van die ZA'ers hier in Sydney (selfs Auz) wil nie regtig met ander deel of meng nie. Ons is geneig om sulke "pockets" te maak. In elke buurt is daar 'n groepie ZA'ers wat nie met die ander buurt wil deel nie. Ek wonder hoekom dit is.

Jy hoef nie van Casper de Vries te hou nie. My ma is self een wat nie van die gevloek en goed hou nie. Ek geniet hom, want hy se 'n ding soos dit is, en soms op 'n manier wat ons nie besef het 'n ding eintlik is nie. Ek raak net bekommerd dat Casper, nes Theuns, heel moontlik ook 'n gebrek aan belangstelling gaan kry.

Ek wonder of dit dalk is dat hulle nie net 'n email wil stuur en se "Hey, ek stel belang"... As dit is hoe ons gaan wees, gaan ons beslis geen Afrikaans in Australie kry nie. Ek soek 'n Afrikaanse Foxtel kanaal. Dit sal so nice wees as M-Net / Multichoice gaan en KykNet of enige ander Afrikaanse media ook kan uitsaai hier, en ek betaal graag vir so 'n diens, maar ek wonder of ek my tyd gaan mors deur so 'n projek aan te pak as daar nie Suid Afrikaanse ondersteuning is nie.

Hoekom kan ons nie saam staan nie?? Het ek iets gemis?

[Danie]

Broer jy sê dit nes dit is!

Hoekom kan ons nie saam staan nie...?

Kom ek vertel tel gou soos wat ek sit sien... ek is Gladstone, dis so 500kms noord van Brissie. Hier is 'n gros saffies saam getrek waar 'n hele klom vir die smelter of by die smelter werk. As ek moet skat is dit meer as 60 gesinne maar seker nader aan 80 in die omgewing...

Wel ek en 'n vriend het besluit dis tyd vir 'n boere braai, gemaak met houtvuur, elke ding. Die makliste deel was om braaiers te reel. Die moeilikste was om die mense daar te kry! Ons het kontak nommers of e-pos gehad vir ±30 gesinne... op die einde was daar 19 gesinne gewees, waarvan 'n derde by ander gehoor het van die braai... maar my punt is die omtrent 10 ouens wat reg uit gesê het hulle will nie braai toe kom nie want hulle wil niks met ander saffies te doen hê nie, die feit dat hulle moet saam werk is meer as genoeg... jiite man, wat is jou bleddie case..?

Daardie lot het baie gemis, ons het lekker gekuier met boerswors, sosaties, skaap tjoppies en dan ook koeksusters...

Maar ek moet ook by voeg, ek het gedog dit sal die 'ou manne' wees wat nie wil meng nie! Wel daar is van hulle, maar die meerderheid die ouens wat tussen 1 en 4 jaar hier is, sorry case!

Danie

ps. ek geniet jou potgooie, hou so aan!

[Jenny]

Ja-nee Phil, ek stem 100% saam met wat jy sê.... wat my opgeval het is dat daar so baie mense is wat "belang stel" en wanneer aksie geneem moet word verdwyn hulle almal op een slag!!!

EK DINK DIT IS UITERS SWAK DAT ONS NIE EENS GENOEG SUID-AFRIKANERS BY MEKAAR KAN KRY OM 'N TOP OU SOOS THEUNS JORDAAN TE ONDERSTEUN NIE NIE.... DALK HOU JY NIE VAN HOM NIE, MAAR WAT MAAK DIT SAAK? DIT IS 'N GOEIE TYD OM BIETJIE SUID-AFRIKANERS BY MEKAAR TE KRY, ANDER MENSE TE LEER KEN OF NET LEKKER TE KUIER.......OF IS JY OOK EEN VAN "DAAI" SUID-AFRIKANERS WAT VOORGEE DAT JY NOOIT 'N SUID-AFRIKANER WAS NIE?????? EK HET NOG ALTYD GESê DAT 'N MENS IN DIE WêRELD KAN GAAN WAAR JY WIL MAAR MOET NOOIT VERGEET WAAR JY VANDAAN KOM NIE WANT OP DIE EINDE VAN DIE DAG IS DIT TOG WIE JY IS.

Ek ken 'n hele paar Suid-afrikaners hier in Sydney en Brisbane wat graag so bymekaar kom sal wil hou, maar ons lyk vir my is die minderheid.... dalk kan ons die ware Suid-Afrikaners bietjie aanwakker!!!

Groete

Jenny

[Riekie]

Kyk, ek sal nooit van 'n Suid Afrikaanse bymekaarkom wegbly omdat ek nie daar WIL wees nie. Dit is dan so lekker om in Afrikaans te kuier! (Ek kon nog nooit 'n VanderMerwe grappie in enige ander taal "vang" nie!)

Massyn het onder die Communities afdeling idees rondgegooi oor 'n braai en/of sokkie in Sydney en uit die 19 "replies" kan ek aflei daar is groot belangstelling. Ek dink net nie almal gaan kyk so gereeld onder die "minder populêre" afdelings nie, en as ons die gesprek sommer by hierdie een aansluit en verder vat, is ek seker sal ons NOG mense kry wat belangstel. Jy sal altyd die kry wat niks wil weet nie, maar ek is seker die meerderheid sal dit graag wil bywoon (Afrikaans EN Engels!) Massyn, dalk moet jy net 'n datum vasmaak en dan begin ons die ding rëel en klaar - wat sê jy?

[Rialet]

Ek was ook bitter teleurgesteld toe ek die mail kry oor Theuns Jordaan - en ek het in my belangstellingsmail nogals genoem dat ek seker is dat hier duisende ander SAners is wat hom graag sal wil sien!!!!!!

Casper (veral deesdae) is nie my scene nie - te grof, maar hy bly 'n SA ner en daarom sal ek hom ondersteun.

Ek hoor dan Steve Hofmeyr se optredes verlede jaar was so 'n groot sukses en ek is seker dit her SA kunstenaars die boodskap gekry het dat hier baie belangstelling moet wees en nou die teleurstelling. Ons moet pasop net nou-nou kry ons nooit iemand wat belangstelling om hier te kom optree nie!!!!

Groete

Rialet

[NZHigh]

Errr Guys, it is not a case of not enough SA's in either/ both Aus and NZ NOT wishing to see Theuns Jordaan, but really a case of him not interested. Indeed, additional shows were organised at very short notice for Steve last year. What I can mention about here is that SA social events/ magazines/ email news etc. is bery well organised and if an Ex SA does not receive any of those it could be because they don't want to as some of the other posters above have mentioned. There will always be different categories of migrants.

[BeeTee]

Wel ek wonder of die mense wat nie wil meng met die ander SAFFERS nie dalk net disgusted is met hul mede SA'er nie vir een of ander rede en daarom voel hulle wil nie assosieer met ex SA'ers nie? Ek dink nie almal emigreer Oz toe vir presies dieselfde redes nie of hoe? Ek dink party mense is "bitter" teenoor ander SAFFERS want moontlik voel hulle "verraai" omdat hulle moes padgee uit hul land of so iets...dis seker maar 'n politieke ding?

Ek weet nie ek spekuleer maar net

[Janine]

Ek kry die idee baie van die ZA'ers hier in Sydney (selfs Auz) wil nie regtig met ander deel of meng nie.

... maar my punt is die omtrent 10 ouens wat reg uit gesê het hulle will nie braai toe kom nie want hulle wil niks met ander saffies te doen hê nie, die feit dat hulle moet saam werk is meer as genoeg...

Looks like there are some more people out there who seem to share my views!

Janine.

[BeeTee]

Looks like there are some more people out there who seem to share my views!

Janine.

Or perhaps they feel very grateful towards their new adoptive country to the point where they follow the old saying "when in Rome" and has chosen to become "100% Proudly Australian person" instead of "100%-Proudly-South-African-as-long-as-I-can-live-without-the-SA-nonsense-secure-in-a-nice-safe-1st-world-country-enjoying-all-the-fruits-of-the-1st-world-but-calling-myself-a-south-african-when-it-suits-me-person"?

Maybe that irks them?

Edited May 25, 2006 by BeeTee

[Guest Larry]

Or perhaps they feel very grateful towards their new adoptive country to the point where they follow the old saying "when in Rome" and has chosen to become "100% Proudly Australian person" instead of "100%-Proudly-South-African-as-long-as-I-can-live-without-the-SA-nonsense-secure-in-a-nice-safe-1st-world-country-enjoying-all-the-fruits-of-the-1st-world-but-calling-myself-a-south-african-when-it-suits-me-person"?

Maybe that irks them?

Ouch! - I don't think I could have put it better myself!

I think that one of the things that makes us South Africans good immigrants to Australia is that we assimilate well. We come from a country that has a similar climate and most of us enjoy the things that the Aussies do. We don't feel a need to keep ourselves separate in little clubs. We just adapt, get on with life and enjoy the lifestyle.

[NZHigh]

South Africans certainly DO assimilate very well into Aus and NZ. I remember when arriving in 2001 I saw stats that indicated of ALL the migrant groups South Africans apprently settled and adapted the best. This includes migrant groups such as the Americans, Brits and Pacific Islanders, go figure.

But despite this there was no Kiwi welcoming committee awaiting us with open arms showing us the ropes and how to do things the Kiwi way. It was already assimilated South Africans that helped us. And them we did the same with new arrivals if they wanted that help and assistance. Some of those guys have become our closest friends of even family (as we have no other family here).

Clubs; well I and I am sure so do you belong to Clubs. I belong to a sporting club, my wife to a Bible Study club, my young daughter to a conservation Club etc. It does not mean that I shun anyone who does not belong to the same clubs. And obviously the same goes for all the expat clubs around whether they be South African/ Namibian/ English/ Serbian/ Greek/ Canadian/ you name it of nature. Just because so and so either belongs (or does not belong) to a migrant club does not mean that they do or do not assimilate/ integrate etc into the new society. Many of these clubs are social or business of nature. Eg. My wife and I like to dance once or twice a year (I mean real dancing). Therefore on the odd occasion we attend a dance of the Afrikaans Club in NZ, though we aren't members. We could also go to the RSA (RSL in Aus) for a dance and have but the atmosfeer is different. If it weren't for the Afrikaans Club there would have been no Steve Hofmeyr Concerts last year in NZ and probably not Aus either, amongst others.

Also, it takes a whilst to build a 'history' in our new adopteed countries. The day we arrive in Aus/ NZ we have no hardly any 'history' in common. By that I mean remembering the barbies (or braais rather) and great fun we had at intervarsities. Knowing all about RAG/Jool events. Getting close up and personal with a real Lion in a real non fenced surrounding and live to talk about it, etc. I am pretty sure you get the drift.

Yet if one sticks too much with the SA crowd it definately can have a negative effect and after more than 5 years here I have noticed that. Balance the old and the new and life will be great. The thing is, no matter how hard I try I will always be a Migrant in the eyes of the Kiwis, not that that is a bad thing, it's just normal.

If I have only one piece of advice that I may give to new migrants when I meet them it is that they should mix and mingle with positive people, be that Kiwis, South Africans or other migrants.

[Guest Seoul Sister]

Hey everyone,

Ok, here's my two cents worth.

If I were in Australia now, I would not have attended either Theuns Jordaan, or Casper Rasper. I have no clue who Theuns Jordaan is, we left before he was a FSA (Famous South African) and Casper is just not my thing. It's nothing person, and it's not as if I don't like South Africans in general, it's just that neither of the two interest me and I don't support something of this nature purely because it is South African. There are so many fabulous shows out there that I tend to look at more than just country of origin before I attend it. If you were around when Theuns got famous and you like him, excellent ! Go ! Do your thing, have a fab time and support him !! I won't think you are nuts for going, I will be happy for you that he has come all the way from SA to entertain you.

If I were in Sydney now and the braai was finalized you can bet your bottom dollar I would have attended it (assuming it fit into the busy schedule). These are the South Africans whom I share a neighbourhood with and I see no harm in enjoying their company while having a pleasant chat about all kinds of weird and wonderful things.

I agree completely with NZHigh :

If I have only one piece of advice that I may give to new migrants when I meet them it is that they should mix and mingle with positive people, be that Kiwis, South Africans or other migrants.

Amen to that !!

My philosophy has always been, if I wouldn't have liked you or been your friend in SA, I'm not going to like you or be your friend now, just because you are South African. There are just too many interesting ppl in the world for me to limit my options like that. And so I prefer to choose whom I hang out with according to who they are and the interests, views, ideals, lives etc that we have in common, rather than where they are from. If I like you and we have loads in common and you happen to be from South Africa, WHAT A BONUS, but it won't be the only thing I look for in a friend.

So Massyn, after that loooooong story. I am very sorry for those who are disappointed about Theuns not coming to Australia and if you were to organize a social Saffer braai, you can bet that I will be there. You should carry on and do your thing, just the same as those who show no interest are doing, don't let their lack of commitment to what you find important influence your commitment. Ppl tend to get inspired by positive things and I am sure once ppl see what you are doing you will get more than enough support from the Saffers who share your ideas, passions, etc.

Just my thoughts on it.

Love

SS

Edited May 25, 2006 by Seoul Sister

[Otto]

My opinion, I would not attend Theuns Jordaan. But if it was Koos Kombuis, now thats an entirely different matter!

I am not one for the SA braais and such, I prefer to braai with people I like, rather than people of the same nationality as me. For example I would braai with Riekie whom I like, not her as a fellow SA'n, just as I would invite my Italian or Chinese or English neighbour. And then there are some SA'ns I don't even want in my house, not even mentioning braaing with them. Just me bush 2c....

[Marius]

Otto,

Jy praat waar. Ek is nie teen 'n samekoms nou en dan is nie en woon van hulleby om nuwe mense te ontmoet en so. Ek probeer ook graag nuwe aankomelinge help waar moontlik, maar ek vat die sosiale aspek in klein happies. Oor mens van dieselfde land afkom beteken nie jy is noodwending vrinne in 'n ander land nie. EK het 'n klompie Saffers al ontmoet hier waarmee ek nie in SA of hier graag wil omgaan nie, hulle voel dalk dieselfe oor my, fine, dieselfde vir mense van ander groepe, insluitend Aussies.

[Guest colton]

As someone who hasn't arrived yet, and maybe I don't understand your longing to mix with people with the same roots, my family's feeling is that we are going to try and stay away from S.A groups. Not because we don't like them or whatever, but because we feel we need to move forward and meet the people who have lived there for "ever" so we can become ozzies too and not try to hang on to the old ways. The familiar is always reassuring but sometimes it makes you close out other people that you would have got to know, just because they do things differently, like beetroot on burgers , and it takes courage to step out of the familiar into the different.

Maybe because my hubby and I have backpacked and lived around most of the world on our own we are used to mixing with the "locals" and early on we found that we settled in easier if we made friends with them rather than try find others like us. Having said that I hope I haven't burnt my bridges with this wonderful forum, because I would always like to keep in touch with other S.Affers just from a distance so that when times get tough and I want to bail and be with my own kind I can do that occassionally but will still be forced to put myself out there and become a real ozzie.

It all sounds very sensible in writing but maybe once we are there I will be the first one at any S.A gathering As a footnote I would have to say though it would be nice to get together once in a while, every couple of months or so and just see if we are progressing or trying to make our own little S.A!

[Lindy-Lee]

Haai blommies...is ek dan al een wat lieries is oor ou Casper ......

Ons het in SA omtrent 3 van sy cds gehad. Ek en my man is mal oor hom en sy sin van humor .....he tells it like it is. Dalk oor ons amper dieselfde sin vir humor het.....jissie ek like hom kwaai!

en ja Massyn ek het dadelik na ek jou post gesien het 'n email gestuur.

If we can't laugh at life, what is else is there for us to do?

[Marius]

You cannot integrate into society if you stick to a click outside of it. The Aussies have high tolerance for immigrants, they however hate immigrants not wanting to intergrate into the Aussie lifestyle and always on the fringes in groups. Mix with other saffers because you enjoy their company, not because you were both born in the same country. Having said that contact with Saffers as support mechanism, advice etc is good, only if this contact prevents intergration into society it is not advisable. To be accepted into society you have to make the effort to integrate.

Think of South Africa, we are / were the same. The Greek in the corner cafe for instance. How many of them never learnt much English or Afrikaans in 30-40 years in RSA, this irritated my father I can remember and he refused to buy there if he could avoid it. Others learnt English and Afrikaans even. I know we made an effort to go and buy at the Cafe where the 1st generation immigrant Greek learnt and spoke fluent Afrikaans, so dit his kids, but they still spoke Greek at home and followed their customs. Despite his heavy greek accent I enjoyed and eppreciated his effort to at least "when in Rome..". He was reaily accepted into society. Same with the Aussies, you can still be South African, but integrate en embrace the Aussie way as best you can and you will be accepted.

[Mara]

I like living dangerously, so I have decided to throw in my 2 cents!

The way I understood the question that Massyn asked, was why SA's do not support each other better!

Most of the answers that I have read here refers to SA's having to integrate, well, you can integrate but that does not necessarily have to stop you from supporting a fellow SA!

We, unfortunately, emigrated thirteen years ago, before the advent of emails and the internet. There was nowhere that we could 'log on' and ask questions, they were all learnt by trial and error, not just ours but all the other SA's around us on whom we all depended to make the transition easier. That did not mean that we were not integrating, we made very good friends amongst the New Zealanders and again when we moved to Australia. I think life would have been really tough in those first couple of years if we did not have the communication and get togethers that we had amongst the SA group that we belonged to.

We have tried, since then, to be available to those new arrivals that need the support, some do, some don't. We enjoy meeting them, we enjoy our time with them and we are happy for them when they have found their feet and move on.

We used to have a monthly get together on the first Sunday of every month, it used to be good fun, however, it died, because nobody else was really willing to put in the time to make it a success. There was no suggestion that you were only to mix with SA's, it was purely a day of fun where you could have a picnic, have a braai, communicate with others that had found themselves in the same boat as you.

For what it was worth, that is my 2c spent!

[Harry]

It's been a while since I last showed my face here.

However, these issues pop up on SACanada as well all the time. I think Oz is much easier for South Africans, because it has so much in common with SA. However, therein also lies the problem:

It seems to me some folks leave SA to go and start up a little SA in Australia because they think they can transplant SA there ( braais/Koos Kombuis/FAK/Huisgenoot[or whatever] and all). I promise you categorically, right up front...YOU WILL FAIL. Folks need to make peace with the idea that they have emigrated from South Africa. That part of their lives is now O-V-E-R.

By all means, keep contact with other South Africans, but, if you find you have to seek them out in order to to feel comfortable in your new country, then it is sure-fire evidence that you are introuble. Get out and meet some Ozzies. They're people too...and they're easier to get to know than Canadians. That I promise you.

I think it is the most tragic of social integration mistakes for all the "'Boere' [ Eng, Afr or otherwise] to run in a heap" and create a "Little South Africa".

Over here in Vancouver, Canada, the SACanada folks know that it takes a bulldozer to get me to a "Afrikaners is plesierig" kind of thing. It does not work for me. I am Afrikaans and I have next to zero interest in Afrikaans artists. They do exceedingly little for my soul. Now and then there is one that rises above the tolerability level. I'd rather go to a Bare Naked Ladies [the band, ok...the band] show, because they are Canadian. Frankly, I have not the faintest clue on Earth who these artists are that you guys are talking about....but I prefer to see Paul McCartney when he is in Seattle, than to see Koos Kombuis (or whatever)....en laat die eerste donder net probeer om my Afrikaner geskiedenis af te kraak en hy sal sy #*# sien met my.

So, I am a proud Afrikaner...but now I am Canadian, and this is where I commit. There is no "Little Africa" in Vancouver. I recommend there not be ones in Oz either. You'll just hurt yourself by antagonising your hosts and living in denial. So, I am dead set against SA clubs and stuff like that. Rather start a "new Ozzie" club....don't versuip in the past.

[Rialet]

Ek moet erken kontak met mede Saffers hier in Australia is vir ons gesin heerlik!!! Ons soek dit nie op nie, maar kom alewig op dit af en dis lekker. Mara is reg - ons het agtergekom dit maak die aanpassing makliker - ietwat van 'n softlanding. Ons was so 3 weke terug by 'n braai en het 3 ander SA gesinne daar ontmoet en soos ons die aand om gekuier het, het ons later uitgevind dat 4 van ons 10 volwassenes wat daar was in H/S Waterkloof tussen 1983 en 1988 was. Blote toeval - glo nie so nie. Ek is geneig om nie aan toeval te glo nie, mense word net eenvoudig op mens se pad geplaas en wat jy daarmee doen, hang van jou af.

Ons maak nie 'n punt daarvan om met ander mede Saffers te sosialize nie, dit gebeur net - en ons geniet dit vreeslik en beskou onsself as bitter bevoorreg om dit steeds in 'n ander wereld deel te kan doen en beleef. Miskien moet mens eerder op mens se knie gaan en dankie vir hierdie voorreg se as wat mens dit as 'n negatiewe faktor sien (By the way we love all the other cultures and do learn a lot from them as well - my son has two Sri Lankan friends and enjoys their company a lot. My daughter's best friend is Olivia, little Australian 4 year old and we have invited her family over for a kuier and got on very well)

In my line of work I have the privilige of meeting and chatting with so many different people from all over the world but it will always be special to meet and assist fellow Saffers - I am sure most of you agree otherwise a forum like this will never survive and be successful!!!!!!!

Cheers

Rialet

[Guest boeta]

Om dat die lewe taai is en ons wil dit nie aldag erken nie, omdat ons nie altyd trots was soos wat die Ozzies vandag is nie. Ons kyk baie keer neer op mekaar en dit maak ons skaam vir mekaar.

Edited May 28, 2006 by boeta

[Dreamcatcher]

Haai blommies...is ek dan al een wat lieries is oor ou Casper ......

Nee jy is nie, ons is ook gek oor hom.

Het (amper) al sy DVD's, en CD's en het een van sy "live shows" gaan kyk. Ongelukkig het ons nog altyd iewers in die bos gebly, en kon nie maklik by shows uitkom nie, anders het ons hom meer gaan sien.

Ek is net so spyt soos ander dat Theuns nie meer kom nie, en ek is bereid om ver te gaan om SA kunstenaars te ondersteun. Al is hulle nie my gunstelinge nie, sal dit tog lekker wees om weer net so bietjie "kultuurlik" te raak. Maar soos ek reeds gesê het, dis omdat ons Suid Afrikaners is, dat ons nie saamstaan nie. Dis ongelukkig ook deel van ons "kultuur".

Groetnis,

Dreamy

[Harry]

Rialet,

I believe I see it the way you do.

Terloops, ek kom van net om-die-draai van jou af...Lydiana, bo-op Silverton Koppie, oorkant die WNNR.

[Mara]

Rialet and Harry, you have restored my faith in people! I have been 'attacked' so many times for my views on 'enjoying contact with other SA's' that I had started to think there was something wrong with me. I just find I don't have to mind my 'p's' and 'q's' and I can relax and just enjoy myself, which I do, wholeheartedly.

Something I have never checked, perhaps it is due to our age? We are 57, and although we have embraced our new life, we perhaps spent too many years in SA to have forgotten our past? Before my head flies again, there is a HUGE difference between being nostalgic and longing to go back, THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING!

I would just like to see that those SA's that are already here, roll that stone out of the way for the new SA coming in. Offer him advice, offer him a shoulder to lean on, offer him assistance, offer him a bed for a couple of nights, use your contacts if you have any, to make his road easier, you will find it gives you a sense well being! Once he is settled and sorted out, he will probably not stay in contact, no matter, wish him well and make way for the next one! We have done so numerous times and we sincerely hope that we assisted in some small way to make it easier for them to make the transition.

Edited May 28, 2006 by Mara

[Harry]

Mara,

I'm 100% with you. On SACanada I am an admin and, when folks come to Vancouver, they drop in on me. We go sit down and talk through the issues that affect one in living here. My door is always open and I love to meet with folks and show off the town and all that stuff. I show them the good and the bad about things here, including details on how stuff works in a house (very different from SA).

If they need a bit of shoulder to bash their heads on after landing, I'm happy to oblige. I like people. However, we're trying to put together a new life here, so that is where I try to keep the focus. Partly this focus is an active investment for the sake of our son.

I do not prowl around looking for other SA people or mope in my beard because it is tough to make new friends. I run in to them everywhere over here...one in about 40 folks around Vancouver is ex-SA. So, it is unavoidable. In fact, three people I previously worked with in SA live within kilometres of us here!! So, we can always get together when we feel like it...but we "don't wear out one another's threshold".

As regards "looking back", I'm proud of my Afrikaans heritage, annoyed at the very insular mistakes of the past, and massively angry at what is happening in SA right now. So, I keenly study history and I am happy to take on anyone that wants to climb into me as a white ex-SA...they can try their luck, but should do their homework first. SO, I do not dwell on it, but I'm ready if anyone tries to take cheap uninformed shots at me and mine about SA. I am therefore NOT one of those that avoid SA's because of sensitivity about the past in the hope that it will "go away"...yes, such folks do exist.

Maar ek sleep nie SA saam met my soos 'n meulsteen om die nek nie. I just need an injection of SA humour and straight talk now and then, given how Politically Correct Canada is. Fortunately, that is a phenomenon that you are largely spared by the straight talking Ozzies.

P.S. you have only a handful of seasons headstart on me in life.