Joubertlab Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 (edited) Hi all, meet team Labuschagne. Joubert, Adri, Leoné (6) and Lisa(3). We are pulling the trigger and have started the process of immigrating via the SM visa. At this point the only things standing in our way are emotions and we are, I feel, in a silly position where the entire process is on a hold until we settle our nerves. I don’t want to wait but I don’t want to pressure my family into making decisions… Any tips? Edited October 24, 2016 by Joubertlab 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisH Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Welcome to the forum! We were at exactly the same point at the beginning of the year. We're nearing the end of the process now and actually can't wait to start our lives on that side! My suggestion would be to start the process as soon as possible, it is a long process with many hurdles. Grab the opportunity with both hands whilst the door is still open. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WayneAndMel Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Welcome Team Labuschagne. It's true - there does need to be a shared commitment to take a process like this seriously forward within your own relationship for starterss. Both you and Adri need to discover that within yourselves for each other. So for starts maybe take a bigger look around you and think what the future may hold for your future selves, your kids and also what you are seeking in life and dreams that perhaps is offered overseas but not in SA. Use that more then to see within yourself whether you want your future to be in SA, rather than to just frighten yourself into rushing ahead with the process. That's even though as @ChrisH points out, there are signs that the obstacles are slowly becoming more difficult over time. So perhaps read up on others posts on this forum via the search function or try speak to them, specifically about their lives in the various cities in Oz and ask about their ordinary everyday lives so you get a small sense of what Oz realistically is about if you were to live there? The penny does sometimes need the right moment or experience to drop for one as well. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Welcome Team Labuschagne, do hope you will be joining us in Australia... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joubertlab Posted October 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Thanks for reaching out so far! I think what is getting to us is involving loved ones in our decision...we do this to eliminate their fears of us leaving due to them, now however, the only three things people tell me are: "you have to think about this carefully" "remember, there will be no-one to pick up after you once you are there, you'll have to do everything yourself" and of course... "it will only be you down there" so I am obviously welling up with anger at the idea that my loved ones would think I haven't thought this through, or that I don't realize the impacts... out of everyone that we included only one person said that they would actually miss us... I guess I wanted to have them say that outright before telling me that I will have to do my own washing up... My wife obviously thinks that I am full of myself and overly dramatic (she is a clever girl ) and that I need to relax. real big decisions and I guess if anything a wonderful opportunity to take stock of our current situation and prospective future, thanks all! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deezo Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Welcome and all the best!! This forum is like family so dont ever hesitate to post a questions, concern, feeling or thought as we are all her to lend support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WayneAndMel Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 @Joubertlab, take a look at this older thread located here for the similar experiences we've had. It's a common phenomenon of relatives passing negative comment against one when you start serious actions to emigrate. I think more and more it had to be expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queque Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 2 hours ago, WayneAndMel said: @Joubertlab, take a look at this older thread located here for the similar experiences we've had. It's a common phenomenon of relatives passing negative comment against one when you start serious actions to emigrate. I think more and more it had to be expected. So strange, my family has only been positive, colleagues mostly positive, friends mostly positive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yuvi Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Welcome @Joubertlab and all the best, i am sure you will find all the information you are looking for here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisH Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 17 hours ago, Joubertlab said: so I am obviously welling up with anger at the idea that my loved ones would think I haven't thought this through, or that I don't realize the impacts... It comes as a huge surprise when you tell friends/family that you plan on leaving. It is something that you usually only tell people once the seed is already planted in your own mind, and its not like that happened overnight. In their minds you had zero plans to leave just an hour ago and now you're saying you want to leave them and the country. In our case, we're leaving to give my son a better future. No amount of having to do our own washing will ever be worth my son not being allowed into a university (if there is such a thing left in 18 years) or shown the door at his dream job because of his race. It is as simple as that, either you leave now or your kids will leave you here one day. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deezo Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 Well said @ChrisH 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joubertlab Posted October 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 Give that man a Bell's Chris that might just be a "man of the match comment" I will have to use your services in the future, even my wife couldn't counter argue Peace! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisH Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 Haha thanks guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatPar Posted November 1, 2016 Report Share Posted November 1, 2016 Good luck Chris, it's a tough decision, even for all those good reasons you have put down. The emotional side I think often outweighs the practical side. It hits each person at a different time and in a different way. My advice to you is both you and your wife, Adri, have to be sure you want to go and with that, will you both be able to cope being away from family. It's hard leaving family behind (and we're still in SA!) It is also hard letting go of family when they go overseas (tick that one off our list). Having said that, when you are young it's easier to start afresh. If you get there, give yourself enough time in your new country to see if it works and if it's all bad, you can always return to SA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedPanda Posted November 25, 2016 Report Share Posted November 25, 2016 (edited) The circumstances are different for everyone, and I guess it does depend on the people in your life. For us, everyone was 95-110% supportive right from the start. It also helped that we had been talking about emigrating since before it was actually possible for us, so it was hardly a surprise to anyone. Let me draw you this one picture: Monday morning I woke up, realised it's a fabulous morning, got dressed in t-shirt, shorts and tekkies. Kissed hubby goodbye on his way to work, took the key, locked the one lock on the door and put it in the garden. Then I walked out the yard and up the street, 700m to our closes National Forest area, and proceeded to walk through the forest on my own for the next hour and a half. I saw two other people that morning, they both smiled. What I saw more of were: superb lyrebirds, on their morning run, bellbirds scurrying through the underbrush, crimson rosellas, cockatoos, and one surprised looking swamp wallaby. And then I walked home. For me, that is priceless. And that is the point. [Photo on the left: forest trail. Photo on the right: green grass on my way home.] Edited November 25, 2016 by RedPanda 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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