How easy was it to make friends, and did you make Aussie friends?

[Hope]

Hi everyone...

 

Very interesting topic. I will be coming to Melbourne, Australia on 457 VISA. I know NOBODY. I am counting days now arriving soon on the 29th March 2016.

Its very daunting to be mid 20s, no spouse, no kids, have no one to relate to you and yet you tell parents in RSA you are still leaving in a few weeks to a country they have never been.

Needless to say, I think I am friendly and build networks quickly. Though I need to understand the culture in Aussie first and learn from the locals.

Thank you for the above questions.

[Sassyninja]

WOW - you are brave - but having done the same to America when I left school - I think there's a great adventure ahead. 

 

We're heading to Oz in a few days for a "holiday", but from what I've heard if that its a great idea to do some volunteer work to get to meet people, for those with kids I believe its a bit easier as moms would meet other moms. 

I also know no one but we'll be moving as (lil) family. 

Edited March 4, 2016 by Sassyninja

[RYLC]

Have a look at http://www.meetup.com/   You'll definitely find a group to join where everybody has a shared interest.  There are also local groups on Facebook so have a look for those as well.

[doggit]

Good luck @Hope - it's tough but very exciting. I can confirm what @RYLC says, meetup.com is pretty useful. I have joined a couple of groups in my area and have already made a few friends to hang out with. Just this morning someone I met through meetup invited me on a drive out to Huonville for lunch. Scenic drive, tasty lunch and some good company. As I've mentioned before, I think it's about being proactive in making the effort to get out there and connect. From your comment it doesn't sound like you'll have a problem though 

[Hope]

On ‎04‎/‎03‎/‎2016 at 3:40 PM, RYLC said:

Have a look at http://www.meetup.com/   You'll definitely find a group to join where everybody has a shared interest.  There are also local groups on Facebook so have a look for those as well.

 Thank you so much for the link. It will help a lot.

[Bob]

In answer t your question, I don't think Aussies need to make friends with other people. That's not to say they aren't "friendly". They will chat to each other at the bus stop or on the train like old mates, but they only go so far in their discussions.

Australians have a family network and old mates already in place, so don't need to go out of their way to make new friends.

South Africans rocking up to these shores need to put themselves out there and meet other people more than half way. It's no use hiding in your lounge room every day, watching TV till it's bedtime and wondering why half a dozen local Aussies haven't rung you up to invite you over for a braai or for a weekend all together down the beach fishing. Life just doesn't work that way.

You need to get involved in the local community . . . . . go to church, play tennis, volunteer down at the local school, play friday night bowls, get a few mates round for a game each fortnight or each week (cards, monopoly, mah jong, scrabble), buy a camper trailer and get to know others who love getting out in the bush on weekends, go fishing.

It's all about spending time with others. Some people you probably won't take to first of all, but they can grow on you as time goes by.

In my local community up in the Adelaide hills, it's a pretty close knit crowd, and I reckon it's great that new South Africans to our local area can tap in for some support and help during the first two years. At first the honeymoon period when you discover a new found freedom in life being able to go for walks in the evening or for a picnic without fear if great, but the honeymoon only lasts so long. The routine kicks in sooner or later and then you begin to miss your family and old mates back home.

This is when your new mates can come to the rescue and support you through these months feeling you are all alone. It's easiest for fellow South Africans to understand where you are at, as local Australians haven't travelled across the world to a new part of the world and don't really get where you are at. Fellow South Africans can invite you over for a braai, take you fishing for a weekend, over get you over for a game on Friday nights.

Eventually, you'll feel more at ease with life in Australia and that's when you know you've made it.

Have fun!

[Sunnyskies]

Bob has hit the nail on the head.  Australians aren't on the prowl looking for friends, and unless there is a reason for them to bring you into their fold they are quite happy to be happy acquaintances and leave friendship for the people they went to Uni with or know from school.  But that is not to say that you can't make friends with the locals.  My husband is a great sports person and he has made a circle of friends surfing, kite surfing or paddling.  They are all like minded and enjoy each other's company.  We have also both gone back to cycling and have made some good acquaintances that way - no big mates, but people we are happy to meet up with on a Sunday morning and have a cycle and a coffee with.  Easiest way to do that is to ask at the local bicycle shop if there is a cycling group nearby that you can join.  You go one morning and you will find yourself having a conversation with various cyclists as people rotate through positions in the group.  You keep on going and you will get to meet more people and the conversation changes as people remember you.

 

I also agree that joining groups is a useful way to meet people.  But whatever you do, don't appear clingy and needy looking for a friend.  People will run for the hills.

 

The key ingredient is patience.  If you think about it you didn't make your friends in South Africa overnight, but over years.   You will have to meet a lot of people to make a few friends.  Terrible as it is, it will also take a number of years before you have a group of close friends again, but in the meantime make a lot of acquaintances and before you know it one or two of them will turn into friends.