SA doctors in Melbourne

[PinkPanther]

When I emigrated to Canada 13 yrs ago, it was comforting for me to find a South African doctor. And I'm certainly no idiot, I can assure you. I was just a normal human being who were doing the best she could to feel at home with no previous experience of how to do that. Although not necessarily realistic, when everything around you is still strange, and you feel derooted (is there even a word like that?), it is not uncommon to try and find the "familiar" in your life. It was a phase, and I am not ashamed of it, nor do I feel like an idiot because of it. I did what I felt worked best for me at the time. Good for me.

For other people, that type of comfort doesn't make a difference either way. Good for them.

[Toitjie]

My 2c for what its worth since Im not there yet....

If I heard that there is an afrikaans speaking dr in Amaroo for instance, I would go to this doctor - at least once. Not all SA doctors are good or nice, same with any other nationality. And I would have no issue going to an english speaking dr as well, as long as he is good and I feel comfortable with him/her.

But that being said...I dont think there is anything wrong to seek out that which is familiar to you. Why else would there be Afrikaans speaking dominees and the afrikaans community go to this church? If people seek out a church / school / friends from a background that they are familiar with, in a language that is considered their home or first language, why is that so wrong? We all know that the integration has to and will come....no-one is against it, but comfort is important too if everything else is strange and new to you.

I hope that when the day comes that I seek out something familiar (before Im a full blooded Ozzie ) I wont be judged like this.

[OzDreams]

Oh my

I'm glad everyone is keeping it civil.....OzDreams I also pricked up at the "anti-Christ" bit (BTW what does an anti-christ person look like lol............are you really serious that a church taught that non-Christians are incapable of love, joy, integrity?....................far out, that is so messed up.

I also laughed when you said about your childs reaction to a person of colour...........I'm thinking, but wait, you live in South Africa..........there are about 40 million people of colour....

HansaPlease..........while we're at it, politicians, bogans, people who are famous for being famous

.............I wonder if I smell funny.........

Sorry if the anti-Christ bit offended, Andrea. It's a figure of speech really - for whatever your worst nightmare would look like. [Note to self: never use the word antiChrist again.]

While growing up, I've heard multiple times that only Christians know real love, can have a happy marriage, are blessed by God, etc. Very messed up, I know. I didn't use any figure of speech or attempt at humour when I said that. Yes. Sad. And. Wrong.

The only coloured faces my boy saw during the first 6 or 7 few months were 'kleurlinge' at the supermarket check-out. They look very different to the black people here in Limpopo.

There are 40 million people of colour in SA, but my boy still spends most of his time in a security complex with a high wall and an electric fence. There is another electric fence around our house. We do have a lovely backyard with green grass where the kids spend a lot of time. I moved here shortly after his birth and it's hard to make new friends with a baby and a tot. Also, I became a stay-at-home mom after his birth. So no, we don't get out much anyway - even now that he is a bit older. We live a small and isolated life in which we don't get to meet the vast majority of those 40 million people you mentioned. Getting into the car means strapping the two little 'uns into their car seats and dealing with the thought that their lives are very possibly over should we get hijacked. Or course we get into the car and drive around anyway, but not nearly as much as we would have were it not for crime.

Oh crumbs, now this thread has seen it all. I think we still have a couple of groups to work through... I'll pick on the disabled, maybe somebody else wants to cover gay people?

Oh, and lawyers!

Aaaaaargh! I just realized my comment on those Chinese guys might have been interpreted very different to the way I intended! Please cut an Afrikaans-speaker some slack here.

Those Chinese guys really did smell funny, there's no denying it. It could have been due to any (or a combination) of the exotic spices they loved eating for lunch though, maybe not the chilli. They were very cool and well-liked - it's just that no-one could stand spending lots of time in their cubicles.

My original point was just that my kids prefer whatever they're familiar with. Especially in a threatening situation, like the one they're faced with at the doctor's office. So they'd prefer a familiar stink to an unfamiliar one, see?

Edited: Geez, 'their'! Not 'there! Saying 'there' when you mean 'their' must be one of the worst sins one can possibly commit.... LOL [Good, yes, the LOL makes it sound a bit shoulder-shruggedly. Good thing I fixed that before the grammar police shows up. Guess I am feeling all defensive by now.]

Edited September 6, 2013 by OzDreams

[AndreaL]

Hi OzDreams

I did have a moment where I wondered if you were a religious fanatic......................there are people in the world that view themselves as superior because they are Christian and look down on everyone else...............I was just trying to figure you out............but yes, worst nightmare might be a better choice.............lol..........I suppose when I hear the word anti-christ I have a vision of a devil with horns (not sure where I got that from)

True...........I forget that life is lived quite differently and most often with a perspective on safety in RSA, I've been here 8 years and away from RSA for 10 or 11.

Anyway, we have meandered through a fair variety of topics here..............most interesting.

@ Mara, check back in with us on Monday, so we know you survived the shark...............only kidding, I'm sure lawyers are lovely people too.

[OzDreams]

I did have a moment where I wondered if you were a religious fanatic..

True...........I forget that life is lived quite differently and most often with a perspective on safety in RSA, I've been here 8 years and away from RSA for 10 or 11.

No, I'm not a religious nut.

Must be nice to comment on this thread while sitting safely in Oz. Maybe don't be too quick to make assumptions about life here then? I'm sure you meant no harm though and it makes sense that you can't understand where I'm coming from.

[Sunnyskies]

what would you say if I told you I was a disabled lesbian lawyer, with a girlfriend from the Szchuan province in China (where they love chillies) who wears traccie dacs and uggs, and all we drink is cask wine while snacking on snags and watching Home and Away.

Seriously, it is important to get over race. While racism isn't dead in Aus, generally race is a non-issue and the longer you stay here you realise the less notice people take of it and children don't react to seeing people of colour - the only time it is an issue is when people use race to distinguish themselves (usually where jobs are under threat). Melbourne is not a white society by any stretch of the imagination, even if at first glance it appears to be. If that is what you seek I think that SA is a better option -mainly because making racial distinction is accepted even if not condoned in SA.

[Sibella]

what would you say if I told you I was a disabled lesbian lawyer, with a girlfriend from the Szchuan province in China (where they love chillies) who wears traccie dacs and uggs, and all we drink is cask wine while snacking on snags and watching Home and Away.

RFOLCOPTER

[Toitjie]

RFOLCOPTER

had to google this..very cute

talking about googling stuff...I treated myself to a movie this morning at menlyn..watched The Internship which is about Google...very very nice movie and I truly wish I could work there. I have to admire what they are doing and how they got there...pretty impressive!

[Sibella]

had to google this..very cute

talking about googling stuff...I treated myself to a movie this morning at menlyn..watched The Internship which is about Google...very very nice movie and I truly wish I could work there. I have to admire what they are doing and how they got there...pretty impressive!

Hahaha Toitjie, I know right! Never too old to learn, I saw it somewhere before but I also googled it before I used it to make sure it meant what I thought it did. The most accurate version I got was 'Rolling on floor laughing can't operate properly till eyes refocus'

Yes Google is amazing!!

[Toitjie]

or this...

[Sibella]

Toitjie very cute!!

I see we are both bored so messing around on the forum. It is nearly midnight and I have been waiting for a week for Standard Bank to do something on my account. So every night I have to wait until the kids are asleep and then call / email / call / email.

After a week of this I eventually got it done after I got the bank managers number from someone on facebook and kept on nagging him until he could not stand it anymore and just did what had to be done.

Every time I have to deal with stuff like this in South Africa I am so grateful that I am here. Hope to meet you some time soon and good luck with your travels!

[PinkPanther]

.I also thought that depending on the persons situation and something I have personally seen......is that Australians are not always aware of how life in RSA can be, take someone accessing a psychologist or the like due to PTSD caused by witnessing trauma (like a loved one shot), a South African psychologist is going to be familiar with this type of trauma and be more familiar with PTSD focused treatment...where here in Australia there are only a few places and professionals that are..

That made me think of a funny story. A number of yrs ago I went to see a South African psychologist here in Calgary, simply because I was dealing with a situation that I felt another South African will understand better. My dilemma wouldn't be a common situation among Canadians. I think it was a wise move, since he was in fact very familiar with my dilemma.

So ... I was sitting there talking, knowing very well that I had the wrong attitude towards my dilemma and was drowning in my own self pity. He interrupted me saying: "Jy weet mos nou jy praat k@k, né!"

South Africans tend to me more direct in general, I hear. He was exactly what I needed The wrapping-your-words-in-cotton-wool culture in Canada just would not have had the same effect. I'm sure though that for many other situations, a Canadian psychologist would have been perfectly fine.

Edited September 6, 2013 by PinkPanther

[OzDreams]

Seriously, it is important to get over race. While racism isn't dead in Aus, generally race is a non-issue and the longer you stay here you realise the less notice people take of it and children don't react to seeing people of colour - the only time it is an issue is when people use race to distinguish themselves (usually where jobs are under threat). Melbourne is not a white society by any stretch of the imagination, even if at first glance it appears to be. If that is what you seek I think that SA is a better option -mainly because making racial distinction is accepted even if not condoned in SA.

"Racial distinction is accepted, if not condoned in SA"?! Heck, when was the last time you've lived in SA? It's illegal here to NOT discriminate based on race, which is why you see all those job ads telling whites to not even bother applying ("AA only" is the phrase). Trying to send your kid to University? Cool! I hope your kid is black though, as that would make it so much easier.

I bet it's much easier to get over race while you're not up to your neck in this type of crap?

Anyway, I for one don't actually care whether racism is dead in Aus or not. I don't care whether the community is white, black, green - at this very moment I'm not sure I'd even care if most Aussies were obnoxious, smug a$$es. (Please note that I didn't say that they are before you send some stones flying - I've never been to Aus, so I wouldn't know. I have an Aussie friend that I've met in London though, and at least she is the sweetest, most awesome girl.)

[Hmm, have I strayed off topic a little? Oops. Maybe I should indicate it. Probably a bit late now.. hmm.. better late than never..]

We're actually in the process of spending our savings in the hopes of maybe getting a visa so that we can uproot our Afrikaans-speaking family, 'lose' our Afrikaans names (still looking for something English-sounding to call my boy), turn our back on our culture, our extended family and on nearly everyone and everything we've ever known and loved. We're doing it as we're not keen on the thought of coming to a violent, sticky end in SA. The thought especially bothers me now that we have small kids who depend on us .

But tomorrow when I open News24 to see who didn't make it through the night here in SA (bearing in mind that only murders deemed important or sensationalist will even be reported), I'll bear in mind that the community in Melbourne is not all white - although they might somehow look white at first glance? Not that the thought is going to make the teeniest,tiniest difference to my life, my decisions or anything I can think of, but I'll think of it for my own amusement anyhow.

By the way, when I originally tried to defend someone's question on SA docs in Oz, I didn't quite expect so much of a response on some of what I said. Just felt the fellow might have been judged a bit harshly. I guess such is life. And I trust all had some fun.

[Note to self: google stuff such as bogan - I think it was, traccie dacs and uggs..]

[PinkPanther]

.By the way, when I originally tried to defend someone's question on SA docs in Oz, I didn't quite expect so much of a response on some of what I said. Just felt the fellow might have been judged a bit harshly. I guess such is life. And I trust all had some fun.

You did good, OzDreams! Not everybody took your comments the wrong way. Or maybe I should rather say your intentions were completely clear to me, anyway! The poor dude was not treated nicely, which has been VERY unusual on this forum so far.

I only wish he gave the forum another chance, then he would have seen that people like you defended his right to ask a question and that everyone is MOSTLY treated with respect (even when they disagree with you). It's a public internet forum after all, so a slip-up here and there is probably to be expected once in a while. It doesn't have to be a show stopper and doesn't represent the whole forum. It is still a great place to either get help or help others. Oh well, that's water under the bridge now, he'll probably never come back.

Edited September 6, 2013 by PinkPanther

[OzDreams]

You did good, OzDreams! Not everybody took your comments the wrong way. Or maybe I should rather say your intentions were completely clear to me, anyway! The poor dude was not treated nicely, which has been VERY unusual on this forum so far.

I only wish he gave the forum another chance, then he would have seen that people like you defended his right to ask a question and that everyone is MOSTLY treated with respect (even when they disagree with you). It's a public internet forum after all, so a slip-up here and there is probably to be expected once in a while. It doesn't have to be a show stopper and doesn't represent the whole forum. It is still a great place to either get help or help others. Oh well, that's water under the bridge now, he'll probably never come back.

Ag thanks, PinkPanther! So sweet of you.

By the way, I meant I hoped all had fun except for the original poster, who obviously didn't have fun. I'm sorry the person left, but a little resilience on public forums is sometimes needed. Maybe it was just a really bad day, especially considering the request was for a doctor? Anyway, hopefully the Facebook group helped.

I'm still feeling fairly new here too, but I have decided to boldly share my thoughts and feelings on this forum, because I desperately need to talk about this traumatic journey / extraordinary adventure - preferably in an 'emotionally' safe space, but hey.. I'm willing to take what I can get, really! I'm not exactly spoilt for choice in terms of people I can talk to about this. So you guys it will have to be.

[PinkPanther]

I like your attitude!

[AndreaL]

No, I'm not a religious nut.

Must be nice to comment on this thread while sitting safely in Oz. Maybe don't be too quick to make assumptions about life here then? I'm sure you meant no harm though and it makes sense that you can't understand where I'm coming from.

OzDreams

I think you are being a bit defensive............and no. no harm was meant, in fact my reply was in reply to your post apologising for the "anti-christ" comment.........which still conjures up some sort of devil image (probablt from a cartoon)

What makes you think I don't know about life there, I lived there, most of my family still do.....my nephew who was stabbed on the way to school for his mobile phone........my brother in his 40's who is stuggling to find work that meets the bills since he was retrenched, my father, who had to scare an intruder away from the unit next door where the elderly lady was beaten to almost death..............

Yes, I'm in Australia, that doesn't mean I'm blind, some of the stories from members of this forum over the years have been heart-breaking, so yes, I do understand where you are coming from, and the hundreds of people before you and likely after you.

I don't forget that once I had to think twice before opening my front door, or drive around the block to check no-one was hiding in the bushes etc, and I am extremely appreciative that I don't have to do that now.

My post was light-hearted, and you've chosen to be offended by it and be condescending toward me by saying, "Must be nice to comment on this thread while sitting safely in Oz"...................most of the other posters are in Australia too, does that apply to them too?

[Jordy]

http://youtu.be/FONN-0uoTHI

[Sunnyskies]

OZdreams, I think you should calm down a bit before you start typing your responses.

[OzDreams]

OzDreams

I think you are being a bit defensive............and no. no harm was meant, in fact my reply was in reply to your post apologising for the "anti-christ" comment.........

What makes you think I don't know about life there

Why you said so yourself, Andrea? "True...........I forget that life is lived quite differently and most often with a perspective on safety in RSA, I've been here 8 years and away from RSA for 10 or 11."

I think that there has been tremendous changes in SA in the past 5 years. I spoke to a friend in Oz the other day - she left SA 8 years ago - and I realized that some of the things she misses most have since she left slowly died anyway.

I know you understand things in SA a LOT better than most of others in Oz. But it's still not the same as living here today, obviously.

In any case, my defensiveness was due to you saying: "I also laughed when you said about your childs reaction to a person of colour...........I'm thinking, but wait, you live in South Africa..........there are about 40 million people of colour...."

That comment made me to feel forced to reluctantly explain what a small, isolated, paranoid life I'm living at the moment - maybe making me sound like a basket case. But you (along with others) seemed to imply I would make up the story of my child's reaction (which was actually as mentioned very embarrassing at the time)? I acknowledge that I might have misunderstood your point, please note. But hell, why would I lie about an incident like that anyway?

My post was light-hearted, and you've chosen to be offended by it and be condescending toward me by saying, "Must be nice to comment on this thread while sitting safely in Oz"...................most of the other posters are in Australia too, does that apply to them too?

I've written many light-hearted posts in this thread - the original one in defence of some random stranger, but it feels as if ever since I've made that first post I've constantly been either picked apart or trying to put out flames. (Admittedly a silly feeling, as there's been a lot more in this thread than only that.)

I only joined this forum 2 weeks ago and am nothing but a newbie sitting in SA, dreaming of Oz and hoping we get a chance at living where you are already living. At the same time I'm mourning the incredible losses facing us as a family and wondering whether we'll survive emotionally even if we end up emigrating. You guys have to a greater or lesser extent been there, done that, survived, moved on with your lives and seriously, good for you. That is a good thing in many ways. I don't think I'd want to spend my life in Oz being heart-broken every second of the day about SA's people and problems and I don't expect that of anyone that immigrated. Moving on is only healthy. No hard feelings here, really.

I did go back to have a look at the locations of those who were picking apart my posts to see where they were posting from and found the result interesting. Put differently, how many of those in Oz would rather sit here in Limpopo* while they comment on the thread, hey?

Lastly, I spent yesterday feeling quite depressed by the severe level misunderstanding and the unexpected amount of sh!t I got for what I thought was mostly sincere or light-hearted posts. If I'm so utterly misunderstood by SA ex-pats in Oz, I don't want to imagine how difficult it will be to go live there amongst others who have no knowledge of where I come from and who I am. I'm still saddened by the thought, but it made me realize once again that I'm not trying to emigrate for my own pleasure, or in order to try and stun the Aus-people with my unique, sparkling personality (hehe!), or for any reason really other than my intense desire to see my children live a good future.

Edited September 7, 2013 by OzDreams

[Toitjie]

I think the problem mostly with forums, letters, emails and any written communication is that the intent is sometimes lost in the wording. I have read many posts on this forum where I lifted an eyebrow, where my impression of the post was that it was meant in a kind of snotty way, whereas it actually wasnt. People have their own frame of reference and might read something in a post that might have not been intended.

Ozdreams - for someone only on this forum 2 weeks you already have 121 posts under your belt. That is very good! Your contribution, as with everyone else, is valuable and I dont think this thread should deter you from participating. I hope not. Maybe this thread can be put to rest.... But I know how you feel, to get into a scuffle sometimes, whether intentional or not, makes one feel depressed. I don't like it either.

[OzDreams]

OZdreams, I think you should calm down a bit before you start typing your responses.

I think the problem mostly with forums, letters, emails and any written communication is that the intent is sometimes lost in the wording. I have read many posts on this forum where I lifted an eyebrow, where my impression of the post was that it was meant in a kind of snotty way, whereas it actually wasnt. People have their own frame of reference and might read something in a post that might have not been intended.

Ozdreams - for someone only on this forum 2 weeks you already have 121 posts under your belt. That is very good! Your contribution, as with everyone else, is valuable and I dont think this thread should deter you from participating. I hope not. Maybe this thread can be put to rest.... But I know how you feel, to get into a scuffle sometimes, whether intentional or not, makes one feel depressed. I don't like it either.

Thanks Toitjie. Sweet of you.

Whatever the case, I feel bad about having somehow upset people who have been here for ages and have probably helped built this into a wonderful forum. I've seen enough other threads to know that this forum has been a life-line to many. I respect that a lot.

And I agree that it's probably best to bury this thread somewhere deep and dark!

I'll also back off a bit for a while till this dust has settled a bit. But I can't promise I won't be back, as I know I will.

[AndreaL]

I'm sorry you feel forced to explain how you are living your life, you should only share with us what you feel comfortable in sharing...........and when I said "I laughed etc because there are about 40 million people of colour" it isn't at you but rather at the chances of living in South Africa and not coming into contact with people of colour............it just seems really odd when you think about going to check-outs or petrol stations etc, but wasn't meant to hurt you.

I haven't implied that you made the story of your child's reaction up...........I don't think anyone else has either, but would have to look back through the many responses to this post.

Look, I don't know how to say this except to just out with it and hope that you don't get offended......and you have to realise that many of our forum members here are Indian, Portuguese, Chinese, British and African............ members too, so this is an attempt at friendly advice.................here goes, you've made the comment about anti-christ (which I now get is a term of speech), you've made a comment about Chinese people smelling and about a Pakistani Dr ( nothing bad, but more that your child would be frightened, which I can understand) and also a reply to another member something along the lines of if they want their child to get into Uni they had better be black.......................you are coming across as a bit of a bigot (sorry).....hence the comment about who we target next...........and the little foray into bogans etc ( I trust you have googled bogans now )

My gut tells me that you are not, but rather that you might sometimes say things without thinking about how others might perceive them?

In any case, this post is not aimed at trying to make you feel bad or depressed............I actually did get that you were posting with a bit of humour and replied in kind, but meaning and tone aren't easy to convey.

BTW it does come across that you are a bubbly person with lots of personaility.

As Toitjie says things get misinterpreted and I've had my fair share of scuffles and gone back and read some of the things I wrote years ago and thought, " my word, what was I thinking"

I'm really sorry you felt misunderstood, afterall you are relatively new on the forum and possibly still finding your way around etc..............maybe it is time to put this to rest, we all agree that the initial poster could have done with more support.

On this forum you will be supported through your journey, and we do know how hard it is, so what say we all move on to another topic.....don't move off until the dust is settled, there is no dust here, all is good.

p.s. you mentioned about changing your child's name to something less Afrikaans if I remeber correctly.....don't even worry about that, we have so many interesting names over here and giggle when the Australians try to say them,one of the nicest ones is an Afrikaans family who had their second son here, the first son is called Nardus, their surname is Jordaan, so they get Jordan, but the little bub was nicknamed bosluis by his Mum when he was first born, his name is actually Heinrich, but everyone, including the Australian's, know him as Bossie, which I think is verrryyy cute.

[OzDreams]

One last contribution for now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgvB2pOF2-c Misunderstandings can happen, right?

Oh, and watch out for the way the word 'antiChrist' is used here by Weird Al.

[runs away for now]

[AndreaL]

ROFL...............I'm staying away from anyone called the anti-christ....and pirahnas and coffee....oh and elevators...and cobras