Short and Sweet - My Story

[Elmarie61]

Background

I didnt think my ramblings could be of any help to anyone, but then I realized that I have read every journal and blog that I could get my hands on! Each and every one! I feel like I know the people on this forum. And I haven’t shared my own story. So here goes. The name of my journal has nothing to do with the length of this piece!! It has to do with me – I am very, very short, and I try to be generally sweet. Even though the fiery temper is just below the surface ! I am newly married, living in JHB and after a lengthy and heart wrenching process we are about a month away from finding out whether we have that wonderful VISA. But first a bit of history.

My husband (then boyfriend) have always wanted to immigrate, ever since he went to America at age 10. I remember our first conversation about it... I thought to myself,’ heng nee! Nooit nie!!!’ I won’t leave. EVER!

And then... life happens. It all just got to me. My blinds fell off. Family members being hi jacked at gun point, MIL being assaulted in her own home. A friend’s 80 year old mother being brutally raped. The incompetence of the municipality that we dealt with when buying our house. The incompetency of generally every person I deal with every day, at till points, over the phone etc. Road deaths. The frustration of landing my dream job directing tv shows, loving it for two years, and then getting retrenched- because of a race related fight between my boss and a producer, after my boss fired the producer’s daughter who has no qualifications and has not lifted a finger to work in more than a year. She was the BEE / got the job because of my contacts / chip on the shoulder kind of person. We were a multi cultural studio , and I loved my colleagues of all colours (With the exception of above mentioned lady). We were a family. We all... black , white, coloured lost our jobs. Because of this fight. It really sucked.

So I decided to immigrate. Boyfriend went through the roof – his dream coming true. We found migration agents and I applied as a graphic designer which was on the SOL at the time. We were ryshing to get docs in before 1 July 2010. Then on 7 May 2010, my 25^th birthday, DIAC froze all applications pending the new SOL list. And our jouney was over. We didn’t make it. We don’t qualify. Happy birthday to me!

My dad and I were looking at photos one day. He was holding a photo where I am about 3 years old. And he turns to me and says ‘when I look at photos of your brother I see mischief in his eyes, when I look at photos of you, even at age 3, I see determination in your eyes’. And that basically sums me up. DON’T tell me what I can and can’t do.

Back to the VISA. After a lot of research I see that I can qualify for a visa as a teacher. And I can study a Post Grad in teaching in one year. Sure, it’s a life changing, career changing decision. And I cant say I have ever wanted to be a teacher, but hey a year is nothing. So I studied my post grad at UJ.

Surprise! I loved it! What a welcome experience! I learnt so much, and I felt myself growing inspired to teach. I ended up top of my class. I am now an employed art teacher and I enjoy my job. I love the kids I work with. It is almost 2 years later, and our VISA is lodged (once again after a rush to get in before 1 July 2012!) So like I said. Never tell me what I can and can’t do!

Now, going back in time a bit. Right after I finished my Post Grad in education, we took an LSD trip.

LSD Perth Trip (Dec 2011)

After all that we have been through... studying again and changing jobs and spending SO much on a visa... We finally got to go and visit Australia, Perth! Our Visa was still a long way away as I needed the degree in hand before lodging, but we wanted to go see what we are working towards.

My Aunt moved there 16 years ago, so we were all set. We are going to spend 5 weeks in December living with them and we expect to really see the way day to day life runs, as the family will mostly be continuing their normal routine.

Journey There

We board the plane in JHB, laughingly saying goodbye to dirt and crime, atleast for 5 weeks! I enjoyed the movies on the plane and I am too excited to sleep much. We have a 5 hour layover in Malaysia and decide to extend this to a 15 hour layover so that we can go and explore Kuala Lumpur.

So we land in Kuala Lumpur, after an 11 hour flight. We are dirty, we are tired, we have no clean clothes, we have no hotel room... great idea? No! Not in 40 degree heat!

Anyway, we head off on the KLL express. What a sight to behold! Such a green and fertile country. Maybe this was a good idea after all. We arrive in the city centre at 9, and find out the shops only open at 10. Lucky Malaysians!! So we sit on the side walk... literally.. and wait. Suddenly my (then) boyfriend (now husband) admits to me that his stomach is really, really sore.. and he needs a bathroom IMMEDIATELY!

A bathroom, in the middle of the city where the shops are closed? We start trekking... up and down streets, with heavy back packs laden with books for the plane etc etc. We trek and trek and finally spot a KFC. Ah! Something we recognize! We storm in and up the stairs to find the loo’s. Boyfriend heads into the loo and immediately exits again. He explains to me that there are two cubicles, the one is occupied and the other is an asian loo. So I go and check out the ladies, both toilets are unoccupied so I confirm that the second cubicle is a western toilet. Boyfriend decides to wait for that occupied cubicle to become unoccupied. He is not very confident about tackling an asian toilet!

We wait. And wait. And wait. Another male customer heads into the male toilets. Finally the occupant of cubicle one exits, and boyfriend heads in.

Later...

Boyfriend exits the toilets, shaking his head and laughing. It seems in the male toilets, both cubicles were asian! So not only did he have to have his first proper squat, he had to do it in a loo that someone had JUST stinked up. Euuugh. And the toilet has no toilet paper, just a sprayer. It was soaked , so he tried to keep his pants from touching the wet floor whilst balancing and having the squirts... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shame, luckily my boyfriend is known for his sense of humour. Also he has absolutely no qualms about talking about these issues and will not mind in the least that I have posted it on the internet! What a wonderful man...

After this event we considered heading back to the airport with its western toilets, but adventure was calling so even though boyfriend was still feeling sick, we headed through the streets to explore the culture. I had something to eat, I bought an awesome laptop and we took a Malaysian taxi cab. We managed to stay in the city for a couple of hours but eventually gave up... it was just too hot and we were too tired.

Queue the next couple of hours in the airport waiting for our flight... I know Kuala Lumpur International Airport like the back of my hand. We walked through each shop ten times. We tried on clothes, had supper, and tried to sleep on those benches. It was just not pleasant. Eventually I nodded off on a bench in a lovely isolated corner of the airport... only to wake up with about 20 people staring at me. Augh. Apparently I was taking up all the seats... Woops.

The next leg of our journey was super fast, after 2 days of no sleep I was out! Unfortunately the cabin lights came on at 3 in the morning , for breakfast. What!

Finally we landed in Perth, in utter darkness. We were very happy to greet the family but I felt very self conscious... 2 days, 2 plane rides, a full day in 40 degree weather.. I smelled. L

We arrived home, fell in bed and only woke up at 2 in the afternoon! We were in Perth!

Next day

Our first drive through Perth almost had me in tears. And not because it was so pretty. Because it was so darn ugly. We left the house, situated in a pretty little street. Around the corner and suddenly all I see is factories. And trucks. And flat landscape with no trees. Empty, barren. I hang on and I wait... surely this is not what Perth looks like! We arrive at the beach after passing through the industrial centre, and the beach is... ok. Ai. Ouch. I want to cry.

Now on a side note... that feeling didn’t last. We did not know my family lives south of fremantle, in very much a factory area. They built their house when it was mostly forest, and with time the landscape changed. I assumed this is just what it looks like. And the beach? I assumed my aunt would have taken us to the best prettiest beach to show off. She took us to the closest one instead. Where you can still see the factories a few meters away.

After our disappointing first drive, we were whisked off to Banbury and Margaret River. Finally Beauty!!

I still had an itch to see Perth CBD though. Upon asking my aunt she says. Aag nah, its just like any other inner city, nothing to see. ?!?! Also... I could not wait to spend time on the beautiful beaches around Banbury, the beach and ocean scenery really is amazing. But alas... my aunt had an itinery planned... Sweet factories... Cookie factories... chocolate factories... ice cream factories... and we schlepped this way and that. In the heat. With the beach just calling my name... All in all not the most successful first week.

Back in Perth I make the announcement that the boyfriend and I WILL be heading into Perth CBD the next day, ALONE, regardless of the itinerary and plans and factories and and and.

I guess after a week where I have been nothing but polite and indulgent, I finally grew the balls to just say, ENOUGH.

And the Perth City Centre is... AMAZING! Loved it! Wow! Having grown up in jhb post ’85 I have no knowledge of how beautiful, clean, friendly and enjoyable an inner city can be. I only know JHB, and the city centre there screams AVOID, AVOID.

We loved it! FINALLY! The Perth I came to see. The beautiful suburbs, like Monmouth Park, and beaches, Cottesloe, ahhhhhh heavenly. I understand that not everyone can live in these areas, but surely you want to show visiting foreigners the best and not the most average parts of your City? One would think!

I have to add here that my aunt is wonderful, and has the best of intentions, but we are very different peoples. She loves malls, and shopping, and movies, etc. Those are all the things, and indeed the only things, I do in jhb. I wanted beaches, and parks, and walking! And the longer I allowed my aunt to control the itinerary the less I enjoyed Perth.

Emotions

Perth is very very far away from Jhb. And the 6 hour time difference is an issue. Usually, I talk to my mom and dad almost everyday, we have dinner together atleast once a week, and suddenly I felt very far away from them. And very lonely. I kept thinking my mom gets me, she would go walking with me on the beach... and not drag me to malls. Suffice to say I really missed them. And it hit me, THIS is what it is like to immigrate. Truly leaving your loved ones behind. Not having then in your life. Ouch.

These feelings of being alone, lonely and scared made me doubt the big move. Is it really worth it? Being in Australia, I quickly forgot the fear and angst that I go through daily in SA. Being afraid to go out at night, being afraid to be alone at home at night, alarms going off, shots being fired somewhere in the vicinity of our house... I think the natural state of a human being is a state of being safe and secure. We live an unnatural life in RSA. And this is why it is so easy to land in Aus and forget all about the fear. Because in Aus we return to our natural state of being... and it feels so normal you completely forget the abnormal state of your life back home, and suddenly all you can see is the beautiful trees in Parktown, the Koppies around Melville and Constantia Kloof, your parents, the good restaurants... and the doubt sets in big time.

New Years and the good moments

We found Monmouth Park in Perth. Wow. What a beauty!!!! In hindsight I realize that each city has its industrial areas and factories, its good areas and bad, its beautiful neighbourhoods and the not so grand areas. I was quick to judge Perth and surrounds. But then, I was scared, and I was looking for faults. JHB has it’s not so nice areas... and lots of them! And it’s one thing to drive through a less beautiful area and think ‘eeeew’, it’s another to drive there and think ‘I am going to die, lock the windows, that guy has an AK!’ Therein lies the difference.

New Years we watched the Sydney count down on tv before heading out. How strange! The same country but such a time difference. My family took us to what she called a ‘poorish’ area, but with a beautiful beach. It was the closest beach with a party going on. We arrived there, found parking and walked. It was amazing. On the grass they had set up a stage where there was live music, with teeny boppers dancing all around. Next to that, along the beach was a fair ground, with rides and games and teddies to be won. I saw little kids running around on new years with no shoes... because there are no broken glass and drunkards! And then there in front of me stretched the white sand, and the beautiful ocean. We threw blankets down, unpacked our picnic and settled in. Next to me was a young family, with two little girls. They were busy building a sand castle. It was 11:30. And it hit me, that, right there, is what I want. I want to be that mom, with my two baby girls, on a beach at midnight, not afraid, not alone, just happy and celebrating! Unbelievable. Next came the fireworks. Breathtaking! In that moment, the New Year of 2011/2012 I knew, that this will be my new home one day. I felt it in my core. And I felt happy, and content. What a night!

I am sorry if this post is a bit deurmekaar. I am writing it almost a year after the fact, and emotionally it was a confusing time!! Also, it is a very long post. If you made it to the end, I feel like I owe you a prize!!

We lodged our VISA in June 2012, and have been assigned a case officer! Will be writing more often now that I feel things are moving along!

[HadEnoughofJuju]

Hi Elmarie

When I read you story it just sounds so familiar (except for the fact that we don't have the funds to do an LSD). The emotional roller-coaster we call immigration is a tough one. We are dealing with the fact that we are leaving family behind that my wife is very close to. Her gran is over 80 and we sat the other night both in tears at the fact that once we leave we may never see her in person again. My mom is 72 and there is a possibility that she may go back to England and that we may not see her again except for the occasional Skype conversation. The only thing that I think keeps us going is the fact that the only future my child is going to have is one that is not in South Africa. Our parents and grandparents have had their opportunity to live their lives and do the things they wanted to do (and they grew up in a very different time to us). I owe it to my child to give her the best possible opportunities I can and I just feel that it is impossible to do that here. I don't think that the heartache and feeling of missing ones family will ever go away, it just seems to get easier.

With your attitude towards life you will go far in Australia and I think that you may just enjoy teaching there more than you did here. Also remember the degree and post grad are just there to get you in. You can do anything you want to when you get there. The fact that you already have a CO is a good sign. Stick it out and never give up, you will get there.

Good luck with the rest of the process.

[HansaPlease]

Awesome post, welcome, and good luck with the whole process!

[Donovan83]

Love this post I also remember my first impression of Perth when I went there. UUUUGGGLLLYYY... and now when I think of it it's actually a very pretty place!

[miraclebabycaw]

Awesome Post!! Good luck and hope your visa comes through very soon!!

[Toitjie]

Awesome post!

[Whynot]

Thanks for the great post! We are in the same boat, just waiting for the visa ...

[Alida]

Beautiful post ! May you be blessed and very, very happy down under !!

[AllisonW]

Wow Elmarie what a wonderful honest post. thank you so much for sharing.

[Bob]

The bit where you say about the mum at midnight, having two little girls making sandcastles and feeling safe and happy that "this is what you want" was touching.

You deserve that.

I read a few days ago about Joy Adamson (the lady who took in a lion cub and inspired the 1967 film "Born Free") being murdered in Kenya.

A year or so later her husband was killed in Kenya by Somali bandits.

The bloke in Kenya who talked to her about her lion cubs and thought of filming the story got murdered.

Ditto, the bloke's wife, also living in Kenya at the time.

As an Australian, it seems that any white face sticks out in Africa and is a potential target for burglary, muggings, etc. which the wider African community cops as well. There just doesn't seem the same degree of respect for life, law and order in Africa that Europeans would naturally come to expect of society.

If they had lived in Australia, New Zealand, Canada, the U.K. they would all have seen their Old Age Pensions and enjoyed a full life, with a fair degree of possibility.

Not so in Africa.

Is Africa really what Europeans want ?? . . . . guns going off in the dead of night, brutal rapes of old maids, and all the other stuff that Europeans don't wish on each other.

I can fully understand why you want this, along with all the other mums in the park that New Year's Eve.

I hope you make it.

Edited August 24, 2012 by Bob

[deroche]

Thanks for sharing.

We also lodged in June and are waiting for meds to be finalised. It can be so fustrating but just hang in there. I am trying to but am getting very anxious myself.

[Elmarie61]

Thank you for all your kind words. I must say I have a newfound respect for all the bloggers out there! It's actually quite difficult to post your own story, and you can't help but wonder and be nervous of what people think.

Bob, thank you for your well wishes! I agree fully. Emigration is hard, as you leave everything you know and love behind, but at the same time... There is a better life for us out there. And it's worth it. I can't wait.

E

[Lynnie]

Wat 'n great post :ilikeit: Baie sterkte met julle reelings...

[RAD]

Really Bob, I suppose you have irrefutable scientific proof that " Europeans would naturally come to expect of society" firstly when was the last time you were in Europe? Because if you have not been there recently you may not have noticed the many faces of colour that actually make up "Europeans" these days. It is not just white faces.

I am not European but my clan also Naturally expect law and order in society. Needless to say that by my clan I mean the clan of humanity. You have judged the entire Kenyan society as if all of them are vicious savages, which I am CERTAIN they are not as I am certain the entire European society are not all law abiding citizens.

[Elmarie61]

I think this is an argument for another day. However...Africans (and me with my white face am also an African, I was born and bred here) are not naturally vicious. It is a very sad situation that have been built up by terrible conditions over a long time. Humans aren't born violent and cruel. No one chooses poverty and desperation. Some of my country folk have the worst , indescribable situations and no future hope. No education,no clean water, no role models. I dont think this is an excuse to become a violent criminal, however inhuman treatment over decades might just lead to a different view on life. This is however not a general view of our people or our society. those of us who can, and want to, will move to a different country because we believe it to hold a better future for us. But the majority of south Africans are not violent. And criminals aren't racist, everyone runs the risk of being raped murdered etc. violent crime affects us all. The 'news worthy' stories might be about people like the lion lady, but many peaceful Kenyan people have been affected, not just whites. Same goes for South Africa.

Personally I think anyone who can, should get out. Not because we are naturally violent, but because the situations that breed aggression and violence aren't being addressed. Education is how you break the poverty cycle -and our education system is failing. Go read the Human Research Council South Africa's stats. I have personally been involved in the testing of school children and their academic levels -and it makes me want to cry. Grade 6 and 9 s get tested, and most of them cannot functionally read, write or count...but they are in school. (I cant remember the exact stat, but it was above 50% illiteracy, I remember 70% but I don't want to lie) ,

One kid did not even write any words, he scribbled little circles all over his answer sheet.

Now these are the kids who GO to school. In south Africa. Gauteng's results are usually the best and kwazulu natal the lowest. It's just so sad.

E

[Bob]

Really Bob, I suppose you have irrefutable scientific proof that " Europeans would naturally come to expect of society" firstly when was the last time you were in Europe? Because if you have not been there recently you may not have noticed the many faces of colour that actually make up "Europeans" these days. It is not just white faces.

I am not European but my clan also Naturally expect law and order in society. Needless to say that by my clan I mean the clan of humanity. You have judged the entire Kenyan society as if all of them are vicious savages, which I am CERTAIN they are not as I am certain the entire European society are not all law abiding citizens.

There is a debate happening in Australia at the moment about the right of freedom of speech needing to offend at times.

I see there is another shooting in America. . . . . outside the Empire State Building. It seems a monthly occurrence, and any Australian would shake his / her head and ask why Americans seem so unable to do anything about their crazy gun laws.

It would offend Americans if I said this, but any Australian would see it this way.

I apologise for offending you, but the freedom to speak the facts (on American gun laws, for instance) also has to include the freedom to offend at times, otherwise we have "political correctness" which takes away our freedoms in this respect and we end up like society in the book "1984", written by George Orwell.

I say things as I find them with the facts to back up my statements.

I travel across Australia for several months at a time, often camping in my caravan on the side of the road without harrassment or fear. Australians don't tend to settle their arguments violently, like they do in other parts of the world.

Can you honestly say that you would have been safe caravanning around South Africa and pulling up in lonely spots to enjoy all that great scenery that there is to enjoy ?

In truth, I don't think so.

I think it's great that a white mum coming with her little girl to Australia can feel safe for the first time in her life.

. . . . and lastly, I was in Europe for nine months in 2009, travelling extensively across Europe from Stockholm in Sweden to the south of Portugal (the Algarve).

I saw a lot of Europe and have a right to present the facts as I found it. . . . . . unless you disagree, of course.

The only way things are only going to get better is to confront the problems . . . . not hide them.

I wish you and your family well in this great land.

Edited August 25, 2012 by Bob

[Brad76]

As an Australian, it seems that any white face sticks out in Africa and is a potential target for burglary, muggings, etc. which the wider African community cops as well. There just doesn't seem the same degree of respect for life, law and order in Africa that Europeans would naturally come to expect of society.

If they had lived in Australia, New Zealand, Canada, the U.K. they would all have seen their Old Age Pensions and enjoyed a full life, with a fair degree of possibility.

Not so in Africa.

I know there are some that would disagree but I think you've hit the nail on the head Bob!!!!

Regrettably life is very cheap in Africa and although I really do wish it was otherwise, it's not.

[RAD]

Dear Bob

I appreciate the fact that you apologised if you offended me ( which you had) BUT I fully acknowledge and accept the right to free speech and in that same vain I too am allowed to speak my mind. While I take umbridge to your opinion that "it comes NATURALLY" only to some cultures to expect a lawful society, it does not come NATURALLY to me to challenge you with violence if we ever had to meet.

Thank you for wishing my family and I well in this land as I would like to wish you and your family all the best as well.

[Bob]

Without wishing to kidnap Elmarie's great story any more, when I read about her feelings of wanting safety and opportunity for her little girl, I felt empathy towards her in that she can get this wish among her own people.

She will not be mugged in Australia.

She won't be raped or killed here, either.

She can sleep safely, without gunshots sounding through the night, and can wake up to a brand new day where the sun gives her the chance to swim safely at any beach, walk safely in any shopping mall, go safely in the bush and camp anywhere in complete safety in a country seven times larger than South Africa, go to work without being discriminated against for being white, rise to the top of her career and contribute to Australia's future.

She doesn't belong in South Africa with the wishes she has.

They are not attainable in South Africa . . . . for herself or her little girl.

. . . . and if this is true for her, then what about all the other 3 million whites living in South African society today ??

Wouldn't Australia be just as true for them also ??

That is the real sadness I feel.

Edited August 31, 2012 by Bob

[Elmarie61]

First, the good news, our visa came through!! 4 September 2012!! !!

So for the last two days I have had many emotions run through my head. Excitement, relief, happiness, fear, doubt, sadness. I have not seriously doubted my decision, but I have wondered...am I doing the right thing. I am very close to my family, and it really, truly, physically pains me to think of not having them close. So I have decided to write myself a letter, listing all the reasons why I have made this decision. When I am settling into Australian life, and I start to forget the fear and angst that is a daily part of my life in RSA, I will come and read this post. This is a negative one so avoid it if you aren’t in the mood! Next post will be positive I promise...

A letter to me:

I am upset.

Those words do not even begin to cover how I feel. Today, I arrived at school (I teach high school) to find out one of our grade 8s have been killed. Shot to death. Yesterday afternoon, she arrived home after school and 4 robbers stormed them. She was shot dead. She was 13 years old. Her dad has been shot in the stomach, and her grade 11 sister has been shot in both legs. Around me I see groups of children huddled, hugging each other and crying. Their friend has been cruelly and violently taken from them, for 2 cell phones and a wallet.

How can we stay in Africa when we are in such danger? How can I bring children into this world if I live in these circumstances? These kids, crying around me today, have long since lost their innocence. They are facing things that they should not have to deal with at this age. So if you are one of the lucky ones, and you do not personally get attacked, you still deal with the fall out. Your kids live with this fall out.

Crime is a major factor in my decision to leave SA.

I am spending the week at my parents’ house because my husband is away on holiday and I am working. I am too scared to stay in our house alone. Last night it rained...how wonderful it was to lie in my childhood room listening to the rain. As I lay there I thought back to when I was young and how much I loved rain. Rain made me feel safe. As a child I thought that robbers were less likely to break in when it rains, because who goes out in the rain? Childish logic. But how tragic that I was thinking these thoughts as a 10/11 year old child. And things have gotten much worse since then.

I was 13 when robbers tried to break in for about the 3^rd time that year, but this time my parents weren’t home and the robbers were yelling horrible things through the security gate at the front door. I remember my aunt huddled me and my brother into my parents’ bedroom and locked the door, and phoned armed response. I wasn’t scared, I thought it was all quite exciting. This is a light account and nothing happened. But is it ok for people to be shouting abuse through your own front door?

My husband was mugged at gunpoint when he was a teenager. My granddad was abducted, he was missing for more than a day. Robbers made him draw all his money at an atm then spent the day driving around with him. He did not know whether they were going to kill him. Our whole family knowing granddad is missing, not knowing whether he is alive. Eventually they abandoned him next to a deserted road. My dad and cousin were robbed at gunpoint on the golf course, middle of the day. My MIL had a robber run into her home and knock her over one evening. He thought there was a man in the house so he left her alone long enough for her to escape. My FIL was robbed whilst moving house. The moving truck and his car were both parked out front, it was lunch time and the movers were unloading the van. They were all held up at gunpoint, they took his whole moving van and his Merc. My brother in law was hi jacked at gunpoint. On a separate occasion police aggressively ‘escorted’ him (BIL) to an ATM for a bribe. They forced him to draw as much money as he could. My own brother got home late one night, parked his car next to my parents, and when he got out he noticed glass all over the ground, he looked up to see a robber ducking inside my parents car. One of my colleagues at work got held up for hours in her townhouse. Another colleague’s 80 year old mom was raped.

All the examples I have mentioned above are generally counted as ‘lucky’, because everyone survived. Lucky? I disagree. I have also taken care to ONLY mention cases specifically related to me. No news articles or hearsay.

Then another reason... Car accidents and road deaths. I am not even going to quote statistics. But I am afraid to drive. Whenever we go on holiday I think ‘will this be the last time?’ We hear such horrifying stats over every Easter/Christmas/New Years season. It causes so much stress. A holiday is supposed to be relaxing, but the drive to the destination is a nightmare for me personally. Today my husband is driving around Hazyview/ Sabie area. My aunt needs to drive to Potch. Both those roads are notoriously bad, and its raining! I hate it! I want to keep them all home with me, but that’s not possible. So I put it out of my mind and hope for the best. But that is not always enough. Two weeks ago a Grade 12 student (girl) from 2012 from my school died in a car accident on the Potch road. This school has barely dealt with that shock , and today we mourn again.

Then another factor... Our government and municipalities. In one word: Incompetent.

Our house has not had an electricity meter for almost twelve months now. We phone them weekly and they say they are coming. Meanwhilst we have been paying electricity on figures they guess! My dad was FORCED to change to pre paid electricity. They simply pitched up one day and said it is a new regulation he has to let them in. So he did. It is now more than a year since he started paying prepaid, but he still gets a bill each month. So he is paying double. He has an office from home so he cant afford the elec going off. And no matter how hard we try they just cant seem to sort it out. The lady we bought our house from more than 2 years ago is still getting bills for our house! They are taking her to court for non payment! And the funny thing is – the bills she gets for our address does not have the same totals as the bill we get for the same address!!! I can go on and on about the elec in this country...

Now...home affairs... I went there on Tuesday, I need to change my surname and get a new ID and passport as I have gotten married. They cant give me a new passport... because on their system I never collected the previous passport, you know, the one I have right here in my hand, the one I have used to fly to England and aus, according to them I never fetched it... oh the drama.

Aggression. South Africans are aggressive and rude. We don’t wave politely, we swear and give hateful looks. And I understand why. We live under so much stress and pressure, who has the energy to be friendly? Everywhere you go, be it spar or wherever you get greeted with a grunt or ‘plastic’. Some days I move out of my comfort zone (the frown that says leave me alone you beggar/car guard) and I greet people in a friendly way. And to be fair, I always get a good response. Our inherent friendliness is just beneath the surface. Its just so sad that this friendly nature gets hidden. But its survival. If you smile at a group of beggars your car will be surrounded within seconds, and a simple ‘no’ doesn’t work. I try to shake my head no and smile, as this is a friendly no, but mostly this also invites them closer. Ai...

There are a million and one more reasons that I am leaving. These are the negative things that are pushing me to go. But there are many positive things pulling me towards Australia. About these I will write next time...

I am sorry for the negativity. It is a bleak day today. Tomorrow will be better.

[Fish]

....

Crime is a major factor in my decision to leave SA.

I am spending the week at my parents’ house because my husband is away on holiday and I am working. I am too scared to stay in our house alone. Last night it rained...how wonderful it was to lie in my childhood room listening to the rain. As I lay there I thought back to when I was young and how much I loved rain. Rain made me feel safe. As a child I thought that robbers were less likely to break in when it rains, because who goes out in the rain? Childish logic. But how tragic that I was thinking these thoughts as a 10/11 year old child. And things have gotten much worse since then.

I was 13 when robbers tried to break in for about the 3^rd time that year, but this time my parents weren’t home and the robbers were yelling horrible things through the security gate at the front door. I remember my aunt huddled me and my brother into my parents’ bedroom and locked the door, and phoned armed response. I wasn’t scared, I thought it was all quite exciting. This is a light account and nothing happened. But is it ok for people to be shouting abuse through your own front door?

My husband was mugged at gunpoint when he was a teenager. My granddad was abducted, he was missing for more than a day. Robbers made him draw all his money at an atm then spent the day driving around with him. He did not know whether they were going to kill him. Our whole family knowing granddad is missing, not knowing whether he is alive. Eventually they abandoned him next to a deserted road. My dad and cousin were robbed at gunpoint on the golf course, middle of the day. My MIL had a robber run into her home and knock her over one evening. He thought there was a man in the house so he left her alone long enough for her to escape. My FIL was robbed whilst moving house. The moving truck and his car were both parked out front, it was lunch time and the movers were unloading the van. They were all held up at gunpoint, they took his whole moving van and his Merc. My brother in law was hi jacked at gunpoint. On a separate occasion police aggressively ‘escorted’ him (BIL) to an ATM for a bribe. They forced him to draw as much money as he could. My own brother got home late one night, parked his car next to my parents, and when he got out he noticed glass all over the ground, he looked up to see a robber ducking inside my parents car. One of my colleagues at work got held up for hours in her townhouse. Another colleague’s 80 year old mom was raped.

All the examples I have mentioned above are generally counted as ‘lucky’, because everyone survived. Lucky? I disagree. I have also taken care to ONLY mention cases specifically related to me. No news articles or hearsay.

...

Wow. I just read that out to my wife. That it is a LOT of violence for you to be personally connected to !!!

To provide some context I'm Australian and have no idea if I am typical for someone in their early 40's but my list is:

- My house was burgled once when I wasn't home.

- My parents have had two of their houses burgled (minor) when they weren't home over their lifetime.

That's it. Nothing else to my family or my 3 siblings or even anyone I know that I can think of.

I have been trying to get a feel for it from other posts but your post really bought it home to me how bad it is. Even though I know you say Australia has pull factors I really feel for you having to leave your family for reasons beyond your control. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day.

Edited September 6, 2012 by Fish

[Bronwyn&Co]

@Elmarie (((hugs)))

[LizM]

Wow. I just read that out to my wife. That it is a LOT of violence for you to be personally connected to !!!

To provide some context I'm Australian and have no idea if I am typical for someone in their early 40's but my list is:

- My house was burgled once when I wasn't home.

- My parents have had two of their houses burgled (minor) when they weren't home over their lifetime.

That's it. Nothing else to my family or my 3 siblings or even anyone I know that I can think of.

I have been trying to get a feel for it from other posts but your post really bought it home to me how bad it is. Even though I know you say Australia has pull factors I really feel for you having to leave your family for reasons beyond your control. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day.

I grew up in Oz. My parents are still there. In 24yrs they have had an attempted burglary.

I've been here since 2006. My hubby and I have been mugged and our house has been burgled 3 times (over a wall, through burglar bars and armed response - they are so quick they have come and gone before ADT get there).

Edited September 7, 2012 by LizM

[OubaasDik]

Wow. I just read that out to my wife. That it is a LOT of violence for you to be personally connected to !!!

<<snipped>>

Yes, she does seem to be a bit of a jinx, doesn't she?

Welcome for when you get here Elmarie.

Above joke VERY tongue in Cheek.

Edited September 10, 2012 by OubaasDik

[Elmarie61]

Yes, she does seem to be a bit of a jinx, doesn't she?

Welcome for when you get here Elmarie.

Above joke VERY tongue in Cheek.

Jip it would seem that way! Unfortunately my stories are considered ''tame" on this side because my family came through it physically unharmed (here I am talking about my family and our crime related insidents, NOT the young girl at my school or my colleagues mom, as those still break my heart).

Most of the saffers I know have a 'crime' list a mile long! And most of these crimes never even make the news. Only the really horrific crimes do. The day my BIL reported his hijacking, he was told his was the 16th report that day at that police station!

With those odds....augh!

Another irony, my husband and I are leaving for Australia 'before' something bad happens!