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..7 months...any friends...


malJohann
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Hey. So, my wife and I have been in Melbourne for more than 7 months and haven't made any friends outside of the people we see at the workplace. We also always seem to miss the SaAussie get togethers, so I was wondering if there's someone out there in the same situation? What can we do? Anyone need more friends? Feels like we're going to go insane. :-)

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I acn TOTALLY relate to this...and i'm a stay at home mom, so it's even worse for me.

I've joined playgroup and the like but am realising that it takes time. People who say they've made 'great friends' after being here for a few months are wrong...great friends take a long to make!

Whereabouts in Melbourne are you guys? Maybe we should organise another get together!

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I acn TOTALLY relate to this...and i'm a stay at home mom, so it's even worse for me.

I've joined playgroup and the like but am realising that it takes time. People who say they've made 'great friends' after being here for a few months are wrong...great friends take a long to make!

Whereabouts in Melbourne are you guys? Maybe we should organise another get together!

Try ANY friends at all. I work with more than 20 Saffers and aside from two welcoming braai's (by one of them) last year shortly after arrival, we've had zero interaction outside of work or invites since. Not even for casual coffee in a mall somewhere. We feel a bit left out to dry to be sure. Not sure what to do, hence this thread.

My wife works for a Taiwanese lady in retail sales (it's only her and the boss), so she get's interaction with people, but nothing personal or upbearing in any way, but it's better than staying at home. People in their late 20's early 30's aren't looking I suppose, already have their friends and we understand that.

It's the worst on weekends. Anyway, enough moping around. We live in Southbank. It's only my wife and I. Another get together would be great!

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Hi All

Fortunately i have made friends through the workplace but i guess not every industry has the same mix of people.

We recently moved to Brisbane after 14 years in Melbourne and we have joined several groups of interest through MEETUP

http://www.meetup.com

which is a website that allows you to search for groups of people with similiar interests.

We have never done kayaking before and through MEETUP with have met and now socially go kayaking and cycling but it does not have to be sport but there are groups for dinner groups, yoga, family camping groups, moms groups, religious groups, walking groups etc. Well worth searching and joining in.

If you have a 4 wheel drive consider joining a 4 wheel drive club or even if you don't have one join one anyway because you can still be a passenger(s) with someone else on trips and get to see the Snowy Mountains and other beautiful places. We are members of the Land Rover Owners Club of Victoria and they are great social club.

Do some volunteering on sports events this way you will also get to meet people and have loads of fun. Almost every event in Melbourne rely on volunteers.

Hope this helps

Bailey

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Try ANY friends at all. I work with more than 20 Saffers and aside from two welcoming braai's (by one of them) last year shortly after arrival, we've had zero interaction outside of work or invites since. Not even for casual coffee in a mall somewhere. We feel a bit left out to dry to be sure. Not sure what to do, hence this thread.

My wife works for a Taiwanese lady in retail sales (it's only her and the boss), so she get's interaction with people, but nothing personal or upbearing in any way, but it's better than staying at home. People in their late 20's early 30's aren't looking I suppose, already have their friends and we understand that.

It's the worst on weekends. Anyway, enough moping around. We live in Southbank. It's only my wife and I. Another get together would be great!

Hi Johann,

I sent you a PM.

Cheers

J

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People who say they've made 'great friends' after being here for a few months are wrong...great friends take a long to make!

I totally agree with you.... when you are "new" to a place - you are happy to make quick friends.... and (no offence to anyone) you grab on the first people who seem nice. They may not always "stay nice".... so yes people come and go..... but you will eventually find out who your true friends will be.

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Hi there

We have been here for almost a year and half and it took us a long time to make any friends..

My husband is still desperate for a rugby buddy who is as passionate as he is ( sitting up through the night watching super 14).

We live in Tullamarine and if anyone wants to catch up we can always grab a coffee at Mcdonalds over weekends.. ( they have a play area for the kids)

Just pm me..

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I totally agree with you.... when you are "new" to a place - you are happy to make quick friends.... and (no offence to anyone) you grab on the first people who seem nice. They may not always "stay nice".... so yes people come and go..... but you will eventually find out who your true friends will be.

So very true - we have met so many people since arriving here and only a handful ended up as our true long lasting friends :thumbdown:

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Hi there

We have been here for almost a year and half and it took us a long time to make any friends..

My husband is still desperate for a rugby buddy who is as passionate as he is ( sitting up through the night watching super 14).

We live in Tullamarine and if anyone wants to catch up we can always grab a coffee at Mcdonalds over weekends.. ( they have a play area for the kids)

Just pm me..

Hey all

We should definitely have a get together! There are a few of us lurking around in Melbourne!!

@ Dandelion... Craig and the Weidemans are very big into their Super 14 etc, and of course always looking to get together with fellow Saffa rugby supporters!

If you want to, they're listed as my friends here on this site, so you should definitely get in contact.

Send me your mobile number too if you like.

Kat

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It takes time..we were also eager beavers but understand now that friends are about quality not quantity.

Can I suggest YOU invite people for dinner/braai/coffee whatnot if you feel you might click with them..ask yourself how many people have you invited?? its easy to fall into the trap thinking "no-one invites us"..when some of the people u meet are thinking "lets wait for them to invite us first"..

Sometimes you have to make the first move so to speak..it worked for us.. :thumbdown:

Whats nice about making new friends is its with a clean slate and no hard feelings if u dont "click" you can be civil but move on. I have met people through a mums group I joined and during everyday activities../.just beware..here in Point Cook you cant skinner in afrikaans...a friend and myself found out the hard way :thumbdown:

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Can I suggest YOU invite people for dinner/braai/coffee whatnot if you feel you might click with them..ask yourself how many people have you invited?? its easy to fall into the trap thinking "no-one invites us"..when some of the people u meet are thinking "lets wait for them to invite us first"..

Sometimes you have to make the first move so to speak..it worked for us.. :thumbdown:

This is so true...weve been in Melbourne for 15 months, been to one get together and one dinner,,,maybe its our turn :thumbdown:

Hub and I also feel lonely, would love to meet rugby lovers, and people with kids, I have a teenager of 16 and a little one of 6, both boys.

PM me, we can arrange something

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Right then people...I think we need to arganise another get together.

We are in Bentleigh East so sort of in between some of you.

Anyone have some suggestions of where to go etc? Not everyone has kiddies but those of us that do will need it to be somewhere child friendly!

Suggestions?? (I know this cold weather doesn't help either!)

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Am also keen for a get together, myself and my partner are in our late 20's, no kids, live in Doncaster East.

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Considering most of us are coming from circes of well-established friends, I think that we tend to forget what hard work making friends takes - especially when you are starting from scratch.

By complete chance, when we first arrived in Perth, we met a couple that we knew in SA but drifted away from over the years. They had only been in Perth for a year or two, but I am constantly stunned how large their circle of friends is and how well they all know each other. Now, we don't have a big circle of friends - and we don't know our friends as well as this couple seem to. We have only been here a year and a half, but, I don't feel as if we have made much headway. But it is our fault.

I have been observing the couple with all the friends and can see their 'secret'. They were our guests on Christmas day along with another couple (the wife of that couple is the sister of my best friend in SA). We had a splendid day and at the end of the day, the couple with all the friends made sure to get the details of the other couple. Next barbecue the couple with the friend had, they invited the other couple. It was a lightbulb moment for me - each time you go somewhere, exchange details with new people you meet. Invite them around then - don't wait for people to come to you... they won't - they already have their own established circle of friends and don't need to "friend hunt".

Each time we go for a barbecue at the couple with all the friends house, I notice all the usual suspects, but there is always, always somebody new. Some of the new people become a part of the circle of friends, but others (like our friends from Christmas) don't really click and they drift away. By getting out there and inviting lots of people, you soon will end up with a good bunch that you can relate to. Oh, and a big key here is to entertain, entertain, entertain. Every second/third weekend, the couple with the friends are either doing something at their place, or organizing a brekkie on the beach etc.

In our case, we have not made many friends, but this is our own fault - we have been concentrating so hard on our jobs, buying a house, then fixing the house up etc. I think we are too set on getting everything perfect and forgetting that most people don't care if your house is not perfectly furnished or your yard is full of leaves and needs a good raking etc. From now on, we are going to make a point of getting into pursuing friendships. (Kathy - soon as Hubby is back from Syney, you peeps are up first! Better shockingly late than never :thumbdown::thumbdown: )

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I could suggest a venue for you, the Bundoora Hotel on Plenty Road in Bundoora. They have a play area for the kids and you have to pay for your meals as you order, so that sorts out the payment problems at the end. They are open for lunch from 12 to 2.30, perhaps check with them if you could stay on longer, as the bar is separate and self serve. Their food is pretty good. Here is a link: http://www.bundoorahotel.com.au/

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Having lived in a few places abroad as well as locally (SA) I find making friends through the activities I do the easiest solution. I surf, kiteboard, cycle (occationally...Natalie is the club cyclist), fly remote control heli's etc...

If you put yourself out there you're bound to hook up with many people and eventually you'll make some good friends.

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Another good location is the Chelsea Heights Hotel on the corner of Springvale & Wells Rd (Chelsea)

Great place for kids and inexpensive, but good food - Kids at Chelsea Heights Depending on the day/night you go - kids eat free. There is kids entertainment

Rgds

Matman

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Right. So, who wants to come for coffee at my place? :-)

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Right. So, who wants to come for coffee at my place? :-)

HAHA. I think we ALL do!! LOL

Let us know when and where? :cry:

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I totally agree with you.... when you are "new" to a place - you are happy to make quick friends.... and (no offence to anyone) you grab on the first people who seem nice. They may not always "stay nice".... so yes people come and go..... but you will eventually find out who your true friends will be.

So true... Don't see a new BFF in every person you meet, but at the same time, don't brush off someone because you do not immediately relate to them. You'll get burnt/hurt either way. Sometimes in our depseration we don't think clearly. I knew my BFF for 6 months before we became friends. The immediate "chemistry' wasn't there, but over time, we came to know each other through getting together here and there and found that we actually do get along like a house on fire. :cry: In another instance, we instantly got involved with a couple who turned out to be oi joi joi.... not good.... :blush: Some people latch on to you like glue and you can't get them out of you life - so while keeping an open mind and heart, don't just allow anyone into your life.

So very true - we have met so many people since arriving here and only a handful ended up as our true long lasting friends :unsure:

Absolutely true. We know heaps of people but have very few close friends. Life in Aus is initially like Facebook - you make friends with everyone, but only a few remain close.

Sometimes you have to make the first move so to speak..it worked for us.. :blush:

True again.

Remember, people who already live here have their friends and they're not particularly looking to make more and would most likely not even give it a second thought inviting the new colleage at work over for a BBQ. Nice to chat to at work, but hey, we're getting together with our peeps this weekend, so see you Monday. If you make that first move and invite people over to your house or for a coffee - not only from work, but at playgroup, the kid's school (moms waiting together outside the school gates or working in the canteen etc) church, etc. you'll socialise with more people, creating more opportunity to meet those new soulmates. Don't give up if you don't "click" or succeed with the first few attempts - continue to put yourself out there and invite people into your life and some will actually become friends.

Good luck - it takes time (a long time!!) Don't give up.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Right. So, who wants to come for coffee at my place? :-)

I'm in!!!!

Doesn't Melbourne have any regular forum get togethers? We had an amazing one in JHB before we left and made some friends and have since met up with a few people from the Forum since arriving (Only been here for about 2 months). I think it would be fantastic if we could have a get together in Melbourne and put some faces to names. Any volunteers?

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There was recently a HUGE get-together at the alamanda cafe in Point Cook...the one owner/chef is a South African and at least 100 people attended!!

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pa...75634408?ref=ts

There is also an article in this weeks "Point Cook Banner" (think rekord) about it and how many south africans have chosen wynham and point cook as their new home.

Unfortunately not everyone hears about every get-together...and its hard to arrange,,,i did the last one this side of the bridge (that I heard of) but will attend any new ones if I hear of them.

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We also in......

Been in Melbourne 2 months now and met a few South Africans.......but a get together would be great...

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We last went on what I called a giant blind date - about 2.5 years ago - perhaps there's an "eharmony" for SA couples :lol:

Johan I've PM'd you too.

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For those asking for a get-together, we usually do these in summer, because it does not matter how many turn up if you are out to a picnic/braai.

We have previously tried to do them at a restaurant, but gave up, because folks are lethargic to say they will attend, also some say they will be there and then many of them do not turn up on the day. It is also difficult to find a venue that is willing to take many people, without wanting a hefty deposit. I have paid deposits before and then ended up out of pocket because not everyone that said they were going to be there, turned up.

Anyone is free to arrange a get-together and to post it on the website.

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