MELBOURNE TO SOUTH AFRICA

[BrentE]

Hi all,

Just wanted to hear from people who have decided or are currently going through the process of going back to South Africa.

I'm also not interrested in hearing from people who have negative things to say about the decision because we are not saying anything negative about Australia, we just miss family, friends and comfort zone way too much. Just being able to have friends over for the rugby at a decent hour and quickly pop into the local spar for all the things we love like biltong, droewors, boerewors and castle lager of course.

We know we are in the right place as far as safety and security is concerned ( Melbourne ) but our hearts are back in sunny South Africa where we are happiest and have all our happy memories. Sure we know the happy times over shadow all the bad but it's all we got at this point.

Also watching our 2 year old son speak to his grandparents over skype and seeing how much they just want to hold each other and be able to enjoy each other is just a major wake up call. Facebook is also not the greatest thing, seeing our friends all still enjoying the wonderful places along the garden route and just having a braai and letting thier hair down.

As I've said before, Australia does have a lot to offer but at the expense of all our loved ones, so yes, if we had all our friends and family over here then we would be in the perfect place but the reality is way different.

So if you also find yourself in this boat DON'T BE AFFRAID TO ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS, and it is ok to want to go back. South Africa is OUR HOME and will always be. You can take the man out of Africa but you can't take Africa out of the man. I'm proud to say that we are definately looking forward to the prospect of going back to our roots knowing that we at least gave Australia a chance and even though Oz is all it"s made out to be, it is the place of milk and honey and it is absolutely safe, BUT Africa will always flow through our veins!!!

Let me know your thoughts,

See ya

[EricaC]

this immigration step is not a one size fits all decision...it is an individual decision, so whatever you decide is right for you and your family. good luck with the process.

Hey pkn!

you could not have put it better!!!!!!!!!

Each for his own!

Erica

[pkn]

this immigration step is not a one size fits all decision...it is an individual decision, so whatever you decide is right for you and your family. good luck with the process.

[Diveup]

Will do.

Diveup

[Lyn]

What can I say that has not already been said ??

I too feel that perhaps you should be giving it a little more time ?

At the end of the day it is your happiness and your decision - If you feel going back is the right thing to do then I wish you all the very best and I hope that being back in SA brings you all the happiness that you could not find in Australia.

[Diveup]

Hi,

Thank you for the wonderful posts. I have been here for 10 months and I miss South Africa every day. In three week times I will be visiting South Africa to see how things have changed since I have left. Maybe this will help me realise how lucky I am to be able to live and work in Australia.

Diveup

[Eva]

My children are 22 and almost 18 and they tell me they don't think they will remain in Australia!

Interesting.... what do they plan to do?

Just curious.

[Jill]

Wow, very hard decision to make. After two years here when I talk about home I am still referring to South Africa. I can see a future for us in Australia though, we are still trying to find the perfect place to live, Where we live now is definitely influencing our happiness in a negative way, I long to be at the coast again and don't feel we are seeing Aus in the correct light yet.

Hubby wants to return to SA for a holiday soon, for about a month or so, I am so scared to go back incase I don't want to come back to Aus, also to go through all those emotions again, all the goodbyes again, very tough, but saying that, some people say when they go back then they get closure and really look forward to returning to Aus.

Good luck, I really feel for all of you battling with this decision, I said to my husband yesterday I want to move back to the coast, if Australia is going to be the place for me I need to live at the coast.

My children are 22 and almost 18 and they tell me they don't think they will remain in Australia!

Mandy I think after 4 months it really is too soon for you to make this decision, give it a bit more time, it does get better.

Strongs, Jill

[Jordy]

Moved to correct forum

[Eva]

Emigrating is hard. Making the decision you have must be even harder.

There is no right and wrong, it is what works best for each individual.

There is a woman on the forum who made the move back and I e-mailed her recently to find out how they are doing in RSA, and they are back in Aus.

If you like I will PM you her name and you can PM her.

Unfortunately she said she doesn't really come on the forum any more.

All the best with your plans, hope things work out for you back in South Africa.

[Mandy Fernandes]

Yip, we're in the same place as you. We've only been here for 4 months, only been part of this forum for a short while. I think the biggest obstacle for me was ALLOWING myself to admit that I miss South Africa, and perhaps I want to go home. It's like admiting that, means admiting defeat, and is this a truth or an illusion? There are many pros and cons, and analyzing the situation some times confusses matters even more. It's been acknowledged numrous times in the forum that everyone is different, and each one has to make his/her own decisions. My hubby and I have changed our minds daily the last 2 weeks, but at some point a decision needs to be made. I'm afraid that we haven't given it a "fair go" here in Australia and that we get back to SA and after a few weeks/months we regret our decision and want to come back.....................to late!. What is a reasonable time frame to give, to "see" if things will work out for us?..............and at what point does Australia become our home. I guess it all boils down to a persons attitude and where their/my heart desires to be, because that's the place where happiness lives.

Good luck, please know you're not alone with this, and what ever decision to make, all is not lost.

God Bless

M

[euroblue]

All the best with going back Brent.

Can't be an easy move either way but you have to do what is right for you and your family in the long run.

I don't know if you came over with PR but you may want to keep that door open?

As with coming here, you may find it is not what you left a year ago and may possibly want to return at a later date regardless of current feelings.

So long,

L

[EricaC]

Hi guys

I think that there is nothing to justify, you as a family have given OZ a shot, but your heart is

back in South Africa, Good for you to admit that! Yes, I personally think that there are thousands

of us who would want to go back, but many cannot afford the trip back and finding work from scratch

and not to mention buying a home all over again!

Here's wishing you and your family everything of the best!

Yes, going HOME does have a nice ring to it!

God bless!

Erica

[Queensland Girl]

You gave it your best shot ! Immigration not for everyone. For some " is die pap net nie sous werd nie"

I felt very much the same as you did in the first few years here. have now lived here almost 8 years.

I was in South Africa last week, and I can totally admit to you that I have moved on. My circumstances are SO different to yours, as when we left SA our children were already teenagers. I can completely understand how difficult the lack of support and contact with grandparents are when the children are small.But for me- I burst into tears when we flew into Sydney. I was so glad to be home.

The personal growth you have made by this experience will stand you in good stead. You are following your heart, and weighing up the priorities for your family.- good on ya!

[Mara]

In a nutshell...yes!

[Rajesh]

Hi Mandy,

I am saddened to read about your return. I hope it all works out well for you.

Please PM me your contact details if you were the Mandy who attended the Ladies Tea arranged by Vanessa some 2 months ago. My wife, Pinky was talking about you during the week.

[Mandy Fernandes]

Hi SAChick

Hang in there mate if you can. I'm sure it will be well worth it! My daughter turns 5 in Dec'09, she is also very friendly and out going. She's only started settling down now. There's a girl in her class who is as headstrong and dominant as what she is. Apparently this little girl hasn't really been challenged by any of the other children before, so the two of them "sit vas", neither of them will give in. My daughter had to learn that everyone was entitled to their own space. The teahers and carers at the kindergarten handled the situation extremly well, and I think it's made my daughter a better person.

We are on our way back to SA after being here for only 5mnths on a 457 visa. Things never worked out between my hubby and the company that he came across to work for. There were trust issues, and after weighing everything up we decided that it would be better to go back to SA. My hubby will not find a job that will pay him even close to what he earns now.Having said that, and packed our container AGAIN on Wednesday for the trip back to SA. I am sad that we're leaving and I KNOW I am going to miss this place. I guess we all make choices for different reasons.

If we had to do this again, I would preffer to live in Sydney, and I'd make sure we come across on PR and not on a visa, but that's just my 5c worth.

Give your daughter another few months, I'm sure she'll come'round.

Good Luck

Mandy

[Savannah]

Hi there,

Good luck with everything BrentE, please let us know how you experience SA once you live there again.

We have moved to Aus, Perth 9 months ago and what you have written is exactly how I feel since I set foot on this beautiful continent. My 4 year old is not adapting at all, we thought she'll be the least of our worries as she is a very outgoing and social little girl, but she has become very insecure and it makes me sad to see her missing her friends and family so much. I ask myself the same question over and over, are we really doing our children any favours by taking them away from their friends, grandparents and the people they love?

My husband and I decided to stick it out for another year though, hopefully things will get much better in the next year. I am praying every day that we find happyness in Aus as I know that this is the better place to be. We are moving to Melbourne early next year. Can't wait to meet some SA families and mommies in Melbourne.

SAChick

[bluebonnet]

Wow, very hard decision to make. After two years here when I talk about home I am still referring to South Africa. I can see a future for us in Australia though, we are still trying to find the perfect place to live, Where we live now is definitely influencing our happiness in a negative way, I long to be at the coast again and don't feel we are seeing Aus in the correct light yet.

Hubby wants to return to SA for a holiday soon, for about a month or so, I am so scared to go back incase I don't want to come back to Aus, also to go through all those emotions again, all the goodbyes again, very tough, but saying that, some people say when they go back then they get closure and really look forward to returning to Aus.

Good luck, I really feel for all of you battling with this decision, I said to my husband yesterday I want to move back to the coast, if Australia is going to be the place for me I need to live at the coast.

My children are 22 and almost 18 and they tell me they don't think they will remain in Australia!

Mandy I think after 4 months it really is too soon for you to make this decision, give it a bit more time, it does get better.

Strongs, Jill

I am in the same situation with my son. He is 16 now, and we have been here in Switzerland for over a year. He was born in the US, and he is so unhappy here. I feel terrible. He said he will stay one more year, and finish 12th grade in the US. I do not think that is possible, unless he lives with a host family, or I do not know what I am going to do??? We love it here, but he does not like it, misses his friends and everything he loved in the US.

It is ok to "uproot" a young child, (we moved from Continent to Continent with my daughter) but once they are in high school, it is very very difficult for them. Off course there are some who adjust just fine, but many struggle. I speak to the moms at my son's school, and many have the same problem.

As for SA, I missed it for many years, but not any more.

Good luck and all the best to those going back.

[bluebonnet]

You gave it your best shot ! Immigration not for everyone. For some " is die pap net nie sous werd nie"

I felt very much the same as you did in the first few years here. have now lived here almost 8 years.

I was in South Africa last week, and I can totally admit to you that I have moved on. My circumstances are SO different to yours, as when we left SA our children were already teenagers. I can completely understand how difficult the lack of support and contact with grandparents are when the children are small.But for me- I burst into tears when we flew into Sydney. I was so glad to be home.

The personal growth you have made by this experience will stand you in good stead. You are following your heart, and weighing up the priorities for your family.- good on ya!

Hi there,

Would you like to share with us your experiences in SA while visiting? I have not been back in 11 years and will visit this December with my teenage son, 20 something daughter and her friend. It will be nice to know what your thoughts are....maybe under the section TRAVEL.

[Sandi]

Immigration is the absolute HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life. I struggled every day & yearned to go back to SA. I even posted a few times on how depressed I was & how I was struggling to settle in.

Someone had told us to give it at least 2 years before deciding to go back for a holiday or for good.

Well, we've now been in Aus for just over 2 years & about to submit our PR application. We went back to SA in June & I can honestly say that Australia is now home. I was petrified to go back for the holiday as I was worried I would get stuck into my depression again and want to head back again. Well, after experiencing life in South Africa for those few weeks, I was more than happy to get back to Aus. While we enjoyed our time with friends & family, we didn't enjoy that constant worry again about saftey & not being able to just take the kids to the park, or for a walk etc....

Try to sit back & remember your reasons for coming to Aus in the first place. Perhaps go back for a holiday before making the ultimate decision to pack up again & move back.

Oh & also stick through the Melbourne winter. The rain is depressing and certainly makes winter unbearable. But Summer is on the way & the weather will be gloriously HOT! We lived in Melbourne for a year & then moved to Perth & yes, that winter rain does get some getting used to!

[Mara]

I have said it before and I will say it again...I love Melbourne weather. Yes it is very changeable, but that means you do not get too much of whatever the weather is, for too long. When we hit 44 degrees and you pray for some relief, you know it may just be a couple of days, and lo and behold, the temperature could well drop to 20 degrees....see what I mean?

No worries Serendipity, you will get lots of sunshine!

[Search]

Here is the current forecast for Melbourne

WED - 9 and 15

THURS - 7 and 19

FRI - 8 and 23

SAT - 15 and 28

SUN - 14 and 22

MON - 8 and 20

This is min and max in Celsius. Look at Saturday that surely looks awesome! I am 100% positive that Melbourne has better weather than Auckland, NZ!

http://www.weather.com.au/vic/melbourne

oh, I am not yet there but will be soon. Flying out next week Thursday!!!!

[Serendipity]

In a nutshell...yes!

Oh no Mara don't say that!!!!

Hope we can at least get SOME SUN?

[HouseInOz]

So the sciences are correct!

At our emigration course we were shown that at the 10 (ten) month mark, MOST people would want to GO BACK or at least consider it. We were given the advice not to, but to give it more time when you feel like that at the 10 month mark. It is called, I think, the "U curve".

Also they say to put the reasons for LEAVING on your fridge.

BUT I DO respect your post and your decision. Emigration is not for everybody.

SA is and always will be the greatest country in the world for us, but ..........

[LIGGIE]

Apparently 4 seasons in one day . . .?

Am I right?