FRUSTRATED OZ Daycare

[Le Grange 'ies]

Hi All

I would like to ask your opinion on the Day Care system here in Perth

To start off with my wife and I are professional geologists and have great jobs here in Perth we also have a 4 year old daughter. However we do hate the Australian attitude that it is expected/accepted that in order to be a good mother the mom cannot have a career and must look after the kids. This is such a backward way of thinking and quite frankly is offensive to women in general.

This leaves working moms and dads to be at the mercy of the Aussie Day Care system who are quite frankly arrogant and insensitive to the needs of the kids and parents they serve. They hide behind a myriad of regulations and ways of doing things and simply refuse to be even slightly accomadatiing. Nursery schools and creches back in South Africa are much more professional and User Friendly.

In the two months we have been here the subject of combining Work+Daycare+Kindy has been a continuous struggle and extremely frustrating. We are living in Dianella and in order to find a daycare that has "available places" was a nightmare and we were finally forced to accept a day care that in our opinion is very limited in terms of the enviroment that it offers. We then successfully enrolled our daughter at the local primary school's Kindy Class for two mornings and one full day a week. ..........but this is where our frustration lies..........the daycare does offer a pickup service and afterschool care but only for a couple of schools but not Morley Primary where we are enrolled which is around the corner from them. When I asked the question the answer I got is "oh we dont do that school". The result is that our daughter is not going to Kindy as we cannot get her into a day care that will be able to fetch my daughter from school. We are back at square one looking for a day care.

Any one out there that could give us advice it would be much appreciated

Regards

Mark and Rindra

[5vannemerwea]

Well. I may be backward and old fashioned but nobody can raise a child like a mother herself!!!!!! Even if I had to sacrifice a dubble salary.

That's my opinion!!!

All of the best for your quest in search of a daycare.

Martin

[Ungerers (Tanja U)]

Have you looked at the option of an au pair. It works for us. Trey www.greataupairs.com

The au pair can still take your daughter to daycare/kindy say 2 or 3 times per week.

The going rate for an au pair is $200 per week, that is nothing.

We have two kids so it just makes more sense for us.

I love my kids dearly but I also need self satisfaction in life and live my life, so I am also a working mom.

Take Care

Tanja

[HansieSlimBergWilKlim]

I can understand your frustrations with the 'system'. Unfortunately that's how it works over here. My advice is to find a different daycare centre and ask them which schools they collect from and then move house in order to be closer to the new daycare centre/school. It sounds like a lot of hassle but it will be worth it in the end. Your daughter is still quite young and even though this problem seems like a big one now it is nothing in comparison to what lies ahead. Once she enters Grade 1 you will have to find out if the school does before/after care and you will have to find somewhere for her to go during school holidays. This will cost you quite a bit of money. There are many Aussies in a similar situation and who share your frustration. A lot of those families rely on grandparents to babysit and take care of kids out of school hours. Unfortunately for us Saffies who are here without any family it is not an option.

I am not that familiar with Dianella but around my area (Doubleview/Wembley Downs/Scarborough) I have noticed a lot of brand new daycare centres opening up of late and they service most primary schools around here.

Good luck!

[Are we there Yet?]

Firstly, nobody has the right to judge what choices you make for your children so do not feel guilty for working.There are stay at home moms here where the kids are better off in kindy then at home!

Unfortunately in this world you have 2 choices which each have their own set of stresses.If you dont work you have added financial stress and if you do work you have the guilt stress !

Have you considered a private school.Most of the queensland private schools offer bsc and asc as well as vacation care on site.Most of the school kids at the private schools have both parents working so they get to spend school holidays with their school friends.

The kindy system here is very hard to adjust to.The cost is just ludicrous and they really make you feel like YOU are lucky to have a place in THEIR school.Try shop aroundand find a school that offers everything all in one.

Good Luck

[Miss H]

this seems like a big frustration in Australia. Especially as most of us don't have family that can look after our children as we did back home. I am also staying home at the moment with my 2 year old and pregnant with my second. I am worrying about when I should go back to work as I worke full time before coming to SA. It seems on one hand that it is not worth it to work until your kids are old enough to go to school and then maybe only work half day so you can look after them after school. It's a difficult decision as if you are not working you probably won't be able to afford a private school etc. I wish we could just import the grandparents!!!

[Nats123]

Miss H I second the importing the grandparents!!!!

Hubby and I both work and we pay a fortune on day care and also get late (well after 6 is late for me) at home at night.

But we will just have to do what needs to be done until Granny can come!!!!

Nats

[dukes]

Mark and Rindra

While your daughter is at the place she is now, try and do research on the other schools so that you don't move her again for a better school and another and another. We are in Townsville, we put all our kids 12,8,6 in one school. The school starts from kindy all the way to high school. its a Christian private school and the kids love it. Its nice and small like where they came from and its just like family. They are picked up from home and dropped there after school. I can still catch my bus to work after the kids are gone. Try and search on all the private schools because they usually provide extra services. We are paying fees of $120 per child per month and the third child is free. We don't mind paying that because back home that's what we were paying. The situation is a win win . Not all private schools are pricey and as both of you are working, i think you can consider that option.

Its quite frustrating I understand especially when you don't have an "'aunty Magda' around the corner where you can drop her off or granny to do that. But don't worry you'll soon settle when the daughter is in a school you like. You go ahead guys and do your research!!!!!!

[customeyes]

Hi All

I would like to ask your opinion on the Day Care system here in Perth

To start off with my wife and I are professional geologists and have great jobs here in Perth we also have a 4 year old daughter. However we do hate the Australian attitude that it is expected/accepted that in order to be a good mother the mom cannot have a career and must look after the kids. This is such a backward way of thinking and quite frankly is offensive to women in general.

This leaves working moms and dads to be at the mercy of the Aussie Day Care system who are quite frankly arrogant and insensitive to the needs of the kids and parents they serve. They hide behind a myriad of regulations and ways of doing things and simply refuse to be even slightly accomadatiing. Nursery schools and creches back in South Africa are much more professional and User Friendly.

In the two months we have been here the subject of combining Work+Daycare+Kindy has been a continuous struggle and extremely frustrating. We are living in Dianella and in order to find a daycare that has "available places" was a nightmare and we were finally forced to accept a day care that in our opinion is very limited in terms of the enviroment that it offers. We then successfully enrolled our daughter at the local primary school's Kindy Class for two mornings and one full day a week. ..........but this is where our frustration lies..........the daycare does offer a pickup service and afterschool care but only for a couple of schools but not Morley Primary where we are enrolled which is around the corner from them. When I asked the question the answer I got is "oh we dont do that school". The result is that our daughter is not going to Kindy as we cannot get her into a day care that will be able to fetch my daughter from school. We are back at square one looking for a day care.

Any one out there that could give us advice it would be much appreciated

Regards

Mark and Rindra

Hi Mark and Rindra

I am sorry to hear about your frustrations, but I do think you have misunderstood the Australian attitude towards daycare and staying at home. You may not have noticed, but there are a significant number of stay at home dads - just have a look at how many dads do the pick up at kindy or school in the afternoon. I don't think that there is the offensive attitude towards women that you describe at all. In fact, I believe that the attitude here is far more liberating for women as it is completely acceptable for Mum to be the breadwinner and Dad to look after the kids! There is an opportunity here, due to salary equity and the government encouraging parents to stay at home with their children in the early years, for parents to be able to afford to work part-time or job share, etc. However, if both parents choose to work then there is the option of childcare. Mark, I honestly don't think that the facilities "hide behind the regulations". I do believe that they "abide by the regulations", and there is a distinct difference. Most of Australia works as efficiently as it does because people generally do abide by regulations. The fact that childcare facilities have very strict regulations about the number of places they can offer is, to my mind, a big plus. At least you know that there will never be more children enrolled than is legally allowed and will be ensured the correct supervision ratios- which have been very carefully worked out.

As far as your problem with kindy goes, why don't you contact the school and ask them which daycare facilities will pick up from there. I am sure they will be able to advise you. Another option is family daycare. You may want to try looking at that, as they are smaller and more intimate. Then there are a number of places that offer nanny services. If you send me a PM, I can send you some links. I know my daughter does a lot of nannying while she is still at uni, and picks up kids from kindy, etc. Even if you too a child care place for three days and got a nanny for the other two? Some people also share a nanny, which makes it a lot more affordable. That is another option.

I am sure your level of frustration is arising from being new and not yet understanding the system. Trust me when I say that people are not out to make your life difficult. They really are usually vey accommodating. I am sure you will feel much better about things once you have your little one settled into a school and attending kindy.

Please feel free to send em a PM if you want to meet some people with kids about your little one's age. I have quite a few contacts in the area. Good luck with the daycare search! I will ask around and see if I can send you some suggestions.

[choog]

Hi All

I would like to ask your opinion on the Day Care system here in Perth

To start off with my wife and I are professional geologists and have great jobs here in Perth we also have a 4 year old daughter. However we do hate the Australian attitude that it is expected/accepted that in order to be a good mother the mom cannot have a career and must look after the kids. This is such a backward way of thinking and quite frankly is offensive to women in general.

Regards

Mark and Rindra

Well of course they promote/encourage a parent to stay at home, its far better for the child/ren.

[Kurkprop]

Well of course they promote/encourage a parent to stay at home, its far better for the child/ren.

Do you think comments like these are at all helpful to parents who are feeling stressed out about their daycare situation? I'm sure they are doing what is best for THEIR family. Not all parents are cut out to stay at home with their children, and others just can't afford the luxury of having one parent at home.

This is really hard for parents and not somehing they just do without thinking carefully about all the pros and cons. Judgmental comments do not assist.

[Katy]

Well. I may be backward and old fashioned but nobody can raise a child like a mother herself!!!!!! Even if I had to sacrifice a dubble salary.

That's my opinion!!!

All of the best for your quest in search of a daycare.

Martin

That is just rude!

[Katy]

Do you think comments like these are at all helpful to parents who are feeling stressed out about their daycare situation? I'm sure they are doing what is best for THEIR family. Not all parents are cut out to stay at home with their children, and others just can't afford the luxury of having one parent at home.

This is really hard for parents and not somehing they just do without thinking carefully about all the pros and cons. Judgmental comments do not assist.

I agree.

Edited August 21, 2008 by Katy

[choog]

Do you think comments like these are at all helpful to parents who are feeling stressed out about their daycare situation? I'm sure they are doing what is best for THEIR family. Not all parents are cut out to stay at home with their children, and others just can't afford the luxury of having one parent at home.

This is really hard for parents and not somehing they just do without thinking carefully about all the pros and cons. Judgmental comments do not assist.

Dont know how you can possibly say mine was judgmental - they made a jugdement call in their first paragraph, and i repsonded as to why they (the aussie gov.) do this. How is my repsonse judgemental on anyone or anything? Its not.

[Alida]

That is just rude!

Er ... since when is having a personal opinion rude ? Even saying it ? Or is there an unspoken policy that only those who 'agree' should reply ? I agree with Martin and Choog, but if you disagree, why should it offend you ? Opinions were asked and opinions were given. Everybody have the freedom to choose wether they accept the offered opinion or not, no need to get personal about somebody else's personal opinion !

Relax and only take home what you want to take home, leave the rest to themselves.

MHO

[Kurkprop]

Yes, of course you are allowed to have an opinion. But this post was started by a parent who is feeling stressed out about daycare arrangements. Telling them that you think they are doing a disservice to their children by doing paid work instead of staying home is not going to help them find a solution to their problem.

[Mara]

Come on guys, the question asked was a genuine one about daycare and how to organise and handle it with two working parents. It was not a request for a lesson in childcare 101 because you think that a parent should be home with their kids!

I often think that people need to take a step back, before they answer a post. We all make decisions for our own family, no need to try and enforce your decisions that you have made for your family, on others! Or to bash them over the head, from a lofty height, because you do not agree with the decisions that they make. Each to his own, you do not have to live with their decision and they do not need to live with yours.

So please guys, answer the question if you can, if you can offer constructive advice, then please do so. If not, please just move on without it ending up in either a bashing or slanging match!

Thanks to all!

[5vannemerwea]

You're right!! Sorry guys.

Martin

[Annette]

Hi Mark & Rindra,

You have only been here 2 months. Dont worry, it takes quite a long time for everything to fall in place 100%. You will find that it will probably take around 2 years until you have the perfect (or near as) setup for your family. Remember that people here are used to how things work. They work the way they work because it suits local conditions / expectations. You may be better off leaving your South African expectations where they belong in South Africa and having a good go at understanding and adapting to local ways of doing things. It is your choice to both work full time. No one owes you anything. It is quite frankly your problem. You make your choices, you sort out how they are going to work. Others have given good advice - you may want to think about moving schools, continuing in your pursuit of a better daycare situation, or employing an au pair or nanny (I would go for the latter, IMHO, they are properly trained and better qualified - $200 a week is a pittance and you get what you pay for!). The private school option in my opinion sounds like a good one for you.

Calling the (perceived) attitudes of your host country (which has welcomed you and given you the rigt to work and live here) and the one you are planning to make your permanent home backward is simply insulting. I strongly feel that it would be better for your emotional and psychological well-being if you can try to find ways to make things work, rather than to find fault and make like it's everyone else's problem but yours.

Good luck

Just because things are different they are not necessarily worse.

[dukes]

Come one guys, an eye for an eye makes the world blind and two wrongs don't make a right. Why don't we try and leave each other a better person than they were before.

Edited August 24, 2008 by dukes

[Queensland Girl]

WE have friends who are a professional couple here on the Gold Coast. They have three school going children.

They have a live-in aupair. She is a young woman from Germany.

She assists with childcare, and does light house hold duties.

She is paid $100 per week.

She also pays her own flight.

They found her through the following website. To be able to "find your match" a fee is payable. I have just browsed around the website and there are a few fantastic sounding South African young women registered!!!! The only problem will be that South Africa is not on of the countries allowed to have the 1 year "working visa"- where I think the girls from the EU can (I stand corrected)

www.aupair-world.net

Hope this can assist you.

[polly]

Please let me know how the au-pair option works out. I go nuts staying at home with the kids. I am just worried about childcare and school holidays. I also want to work,' just in case'. Too much of the South African in me, but what if something happens to my hubby? Then I will have to keep the pot boiling and I won't be able to do that if I had been a 'homemaker' for 10 years.

[Sandi]

Yeah, I've just had the same run around as I start work on Monday.

Fortunately I've got it all sorted but it's all in theory. We'll see from this next week how it all goes.

My son is doing Kindy at the primary school 2 days a week & will go to after care which is run at another primary school. Unfortunately that Primary school doesn't have any space left for kindy but I've enrolled him there for preschool next year.

The other days he'll go to daycare.

My 1 year old daughter will be in full time daycare. And like you say, I didn't have a choice of daycares to choose from. I had to go with one that had availability & I hold all fingers & toes crossed that it works out to be a decent daycare. I may put my daughter on a waiting list at a few others for next year but will give this one a chance first.

[design_diva]

Can you all spare a thought to the single parents out there trying to make a better life for their children, going through this enormous stress without the emotional and financial support of a partner. I would love to spend my days at home with my son, going to the beach etc, but I am the sole source of income and do not work because of any great ambitions but out of neccessity.

I think people are far too quick to judge other people without any insight into what is actually happening in their lives.

[Katy]

Er ... since when is having a personal opinion rude ? Even saying it ? Or is there an unspoken policy that only those who 'agree' should reply ? I agree with Martin and Choog, but if you disagree, why should it offend you ? Opinions were asked and opinions were given. Everybody have the freedom to choose wether they accept the offered opinion or not, no need to get personal about somebody else's personal opinion !

Relax and only take home what you want to take home, leave the rest to themselves.

MHO

The question asked in this topic was not if you think moms must stay at home, but you guys couldn't wait to get a word in, always trying to provoke. That is just ludicrous.

Let me guess, you stay at home with your kids?