The Story of "Yes, No and F@$k You"

[Guest mauritz]

Growing up in Suidwes - I've come across this 'phrase' a few times. As you all know - English was (maybe still is) a bit of a nightmare for our Suidwesters.

I went to Windhoek Highscool - Rundu only managed up to Std. 7. I started to read English books - started with Wilbur Smith - I was heavily frowned upon. There was this one bloke, a true Suidwesters who refused to speak any English at all - even in the English class with the sexy miss Wortmann. He believed in only 3 English words , the above of course - I found it extremely funny. We ended up together in the defence force and we always had fun with this bloke.

The second bloke worked with me as a 'Veldwagter' on Waterberg. There were two English speaking 'veldwagters' and I use to roll on the grass laughing at these blokes. In the beginning, they'll try and communicate and the Afrikaner bloke who was build like a Olifant Tank, only used these 3 words.

See, now I'm running my own business here in Aus and I work with these Aussie tradesman - the majority of them, hard and honest men. Just wait 'till you meet the average Aussie plumber - in their own minds, they're God (for those political correct watermelons - not ALL, the average) - their wallets are as thick as a Boere Bible, they charge what they want and are ALWAYS (yes watermelons) right. Now, I organise things and for me to make money and to keep the customers happy - things must go smooth with this Boer - otherwise I turn into a Bosvark on Viagra in mating season.

When I tap these plumbers or whatever tradesman over the knuckles, because I have the right to do just that - I'm unhappy, their own countrymen, the customer is unhappy. Now, they are like some people I've had dealings with very recently - they don't have any ammunition - so they get personal. They start to hit you on your accent, where you're from, you've not been here long, blablabla etc. See, it doesn't bother me that much - you get all kinds of people - but the job must get done and I want to prevent this from happening again. The Boere machine must roll smoothly.

This is where the Varsity of Africa kicks in and I don't take any prisoners. See, they promised things, they didn't deliver or try to contact me or the customer - they have no excuse. So this is how it normally goes:

"Which part of YES don't you understand" or "which part on NO don't you understand"

of course, sometimes when they start hitting on the accent bit - very rudely of course - then the "Yes, No, F" phrase kicks in fairly automatically.

As all you men know - the ones that did their tour for 'Volk and Vaderland' - the tradesmen - the F word is just another word and you'll all see it is just another word in the land of Oz. It is not something that 'shocks' anyone, unless you've only been here for a little while. Believe me, I was very shocked in the beginning to hear women using F as every third word in a sentence. You'll hear them here:)

When everything else fails, I go for the kill, "I'll tell you in your own language, in your own town, in your own country, which is now my country - WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO. What are you going to do about that?????"

You must remember - building sites, tradesman wherever you are - are NOT politically correct - I just love them for that. Therefore I don't need to be politically correct - and how I just love that. Most times I'm the only 'outsider' there, but these people respect people that DON'T back off. Right is right everywhere in the world (I just think, currently Africa missed the pot completely - fair if foul and foul is fair) and people will respect you if you stand up for what is right and for yourself.

I've made great friends with these same tradesmen and they're a tough breed doing great work - I am very, very happy that I can work and contribute in this type of environment. I CAN say what I want to say - because they can say what they want to say - a great world.

Oh, I forget - they don't steel my tools (for the watermelons - I don't steel theirs). So, what is Yes, No and F@!k you in comparison to that bit of freedom???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Edited October 4, 2007 by mauritz