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you are proudly south-african when....


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You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume"

You call a traffic light a "robot"

The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they


The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just

finished watching

You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic


You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any

You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no

idea what it means in any of them

You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Madela

You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors

(long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously

You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State

You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped

by a traffic officer

You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement

You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car

You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers

To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750

Hijacking cars is a profession

You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light

The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car

More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election

People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty,

Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given

"Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month

You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to

make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction

Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway

You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car

parked where you left it

A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes

The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines

and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday

You paint your car's registration on the roof

You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a

government hospital

You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one

Prisoners go on strike

You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your


You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once

Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is

too high

When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement

of the following Afrikaans program, and a Zulu ad

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from


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