Nane: On my way

[Nane]

Hi everyone, I just got refered to this forum(from another...) by Jules(thx). Since it is afternoon already, I decided I will take the lazy way and copy paste a little about myself I posted on the other forum.

I grew up on the East Rand(Kempton Park) in a very Afrikaans family. Obtained my BA in Potch, fell pregnant and married at 22. Dealt with my insecurity's, divorced and raised my son on my own for the next 5 yrs. Met, fell in love with AND married a great French guy(Dominique) and moved to the French Riviera.

Next year I will hopefully pass Wisdom101 at 40yrs.

In SA, I had a great job in marketing working for Appletizer. Now I love playing mum to my teenager son and his little sister. Camille is six, fluent in French and English (So is Justin) and I am ready for new challenges. I am currently applying at Uni's in Australia to carry on where I left of with my studies. This is a great challenge ahead of me, as my hub will not join us, while I am completing my studies(2 yrs).

While my kids are at school, I live on the tennis courts. At the moment though, am I nursing a twisted ankle due to my antics on court. Interior decoration, home renovation (no easy feat in France), keeps me very busy. We are busy selling our house and this will be the decisive moment as far as my renovation skills go. I have great confidence.

I will never say no to a good book, my favorites are autobiographies.

I am trying to find out as much as I can, before my leap into fait and came about these forums.

Would love to know who's out there and share some experiences

[Guest Jules]

Hi Nane

Glad to see you made it Hope to see you around the forum lots

Julie

[Nane]

Thx Julie u,

I see you live in Brisbane. I hope to get into Bond university. Would love to keep it touch.

How did you end up in Oz?

[Guest Jules]

That's great, Brisbane is a great choice

It's 11.30pm so I need to go to bed will chat to you tomorrow

Julie

[Caroline]

Another student.. yipeee

Welcome Nane

I see you have had a very exciting life, we want to hear more

We have opted to take the study route as well and are in the process of compiling all the requied documents. I am a student at USQ-Toowoomba. Unlike you.. I chickened out from the post grade and simply applied for credits to do 'a different' BA. I want to continue my work so I don't want too much interference from the study side Anyway-will be completing majors in History and International Relations (really fun subjects).

I am in the process of getting the childrens CoE for the visa application-just waiting for confirmation from Queensland Education Department about how much and when to pay. The 'to do' list is going down slowly but surely .

Nice chatting, see you around

Caroline

[Nane]

Thanks for the welcome all ,

Caroline, do I understand correctly that you are already enrolled at the University and still living in SA. I am really only at the first step and have to wait for my test results before I can send my papers of. You seem to be much further along the paper trail than I am. I still have to get my to do list! Which paper work do you need for the children? Am I correct in assuming the CoE is a certificate or letter from the school attended?

I don't want to overload you with questions ....yet.

The kids just arrived home from school so my motherly duties await!

I am happy to have found this forum and look forward to getting to know everyone better.

Nane

[Caroline]

Hi Nane

Sent you a PM instead of boring everybody with details. Hope you find it helpful. For others that might go down the same route: CoE-Certificate of Enrolment. Your children have to be enrolled before you send the visa application in. So you will need a CoE for yourself from the Uni (which shows paid fees for the year and paid medical cover) and the same for the children. You can chose the school before or after you arrive in Oz. Obviously if you are sending your children to private school then it is not up to the Queensland Education dep to provide CoE for the children.

Caroline

Edited May 4, 2006 by Caroline

[Guest Seoul Sister]

Hi Nane,

Welcome to the forum ! I am sure Caroline will be able to help you a lot. I was very interested to read that you studied in Potch - in which dorm were you and who was the head of the SR while you were there ? I have loads of family who also studied there around the same time as you and I am sure some of them will know you. I also find your choice of studies very interesting, first a BA in Human Movement Science and Psychology, and now a Masters of Education and Masters in Psychology. *phew* have you managed to find a University that will allow you to do both and are you planning on doing them at the same time ?

Good luck with all the admin and the BIG move !

See you on the forum

SS

Edited May 5, 2006 by Seoul Sister

[Nane]

Hi Seoul Sister,

I only stayed in dorm (Wanda) my first year. I cannot remember the head of our SR at the time (forgive me!). My best friend Elna Meyer was well known by most. Maybe your relatives will remember her.

I plan to first finish my Master of Education (12months) and then only, will I carry on with my Psychology. I still do not know if all my courses are recognized, so I still have a long way to go.

Caroline has already been a huge help. So has all of you. I hope I have the opportunity to return the favor. Hopefully over a glass of wine in Queensland!

[Guest Seoul Sister]

Hopefully over a glass of wine in Queensland!

Hi again,

Thanks for replying. When I just re-read my original posting to you I realized how aggressive I must have come across. I'm so sorry about that. I was SO excited to see a PUK, but had about half a second to write a reply and I am sorry to say that the end result was very hasty and could have come across as AGGRESSIVE. Lemme try again:

Hi Nane, Welcome to the forum. I'm very excited to see that you studied at the PUK, as I have many relatives who also studied there, and some even (I suspect) during the same time as you. One of my cousins, Gerhard was the head of the SR, probably while you were there, hehehehe, but as he is a bit of a nut, you should probably know he was never my favourite cousin.. Hehehehehe. He was the one that came up with those UGLY overalls for Intervarsity, were they neon Yellow ? As I said, not from the stable side of the family..

Wine ? My girl, if there is one place you should know that you can get just about anything with the promise of wine, you have come to the right place ! Glad to have you here.

Best wishes from Korea

Seoul Sister

Edited May 8, 2006 by Seoul Sister

[Queensland Girl]

Hi Nane

Bond Uni is just around the corner from me and it is the most SPLENDID campus.

Many mature-aged students and good Uni rating.

It is situated in the suburb of ROBINA here on the Gold Coast and I can put you in contact with some EXCELLENT private and state schools close by.

You might remember Margeret Lessing the Doyenne of Public Relations in South Africa about 20 years ago? Well her son in a Law Professor at Bond.Small world hey?

[Bob]

I dunno.

Maybe this a bloke's thing, but I read that your husband isn't interested in joining you.

I take it that you are prepared to live a life alone in Australia, since I can't figure out how a marriage of substance would voluntarily last years apart.

We all have our own needs and life brings its own dimensions and momentum, leaving this marriage extremely vulnerable to outsiders having an influence.

The older I get, it seems the more wary I am of working at my marriage and not taking it for granted that it will "work out" as I did when I was younger. Now that my kids are all grown up and doing their own thing, the years I've spent with my wife are special and I can't see myself going thro' retirement and into old age without her support and help. She is a "brick".

If you can manage to get into Australia, studying full-time AND bringing up two kids will be no easy task all on your own. I don't envy you in that position.

Australia is a great place to live.

France is also a great place to live, by the sounds of things.

Your life is your own, but Australia won't be a holiday for you if you bring your two kids and study full time.

Sorry to dampen your enthusiasm, but we all still have to wake up in the morning, even us lucky ones in Australia, and it won't be easy for you, down the track, on your own.

Life is challenging enough, even with someone close to you to cry on their shoulder and talk to each day, when you migrate to a new land. . . . . . . exciting . . . . but tough. . . . . so please consider these things you will have to face as well.

If you need any advice on migrating to this great country, just ask on the forum.

Edited May 8, 2006 by Bob

[Andie]

My , what a sensible response , from Bob !

Gives this Forum a whole new meaning , in my humble view ?

And a bit of , much-needed , balance !

Good Luck to all , anyway!

[Nane]

Hello Bob,

First, you have read wrong. My husband is very interested in joining us, but this is unfortunately impossible due to his work. The same applies where we are living now. I will be on my own for the next two years (apart from holidays), no matter where we live. He is a captain on a Super Yacht, cruising the seven seas.

We both take our marriage very seriously and had to learn to adjust to him being away for long periods. We both new the situation before we got married, but I must be honest, I didn’t realized how hard it would turn out to be. My first two years in France, I spilled many tears. Since then, this over protected, conservative girl from SA had to toughen up.

We have been married now for nine years and we both got used to living life, with my husband being away for long periods. This is not the ideal situation and part of the reason why we want to do this move to Australia is for my husband sake. There is a new and emerging market in his industry, which will allow him to spend more time with us. He needs to finish his current contract, which will take two years. In the mean time, I want to get us settled and finish my studies.

My decision was not taken lightly. Do not assume just because we don’t see one-another as often as other couples, that we have problems in our relationship. We love, respect and appreciate each other so much more because of our situation and are living for the day when we can have a more normal life.

In as far as, me coping on my own, I have done it before in much harder circumstance than what I will be in, in Australia. So don’t fear for me. I am very nervous but also very excited with my eyes wide open.

Life is about taking certain risks and if you do not do it, you are accepting circumstances that have negative influences on your life. Some people will live with this acceptance permanently, out of fear. They are not happy.

Thanks for your input though, it is nice to hear from a bloke taking his relationship serious.

Andie, thanks for your good wishes. Hope this make you understand my position better.

.

[chatterbug]

Hi Nane,

Good on you! Yip it just shows that there are many ways "to skin a cat" or "different strokes for different folks". Sounds like you guys have quite a unique relationship and one that requires much independence and resilience. Looks like you guys have what it takes already though - something that I for one would not be able to cope with - the longest I have spent without my wife was 5 weeks and it was murder!

I was brought up in a "Naval" family and certainly know the challenges that extended absences from spouses and family members brings.

I'm sure you'll enjoy Qld and the studies!

BTW: As I am a bit of a yachty at heart, I am a bit curious - what yacht does hubby skipper and what races/passages does he do (Sport/ racing/cruises/leisure/deliveries)???

Cheers

C'bug

Edited May 9, 2006 by chatterbug

[Nane]

Chatterbug, you will be surprise with what you can cope with when the need arise!

Unfortunately for my husband, his yachting is nothing as exiting as races or sailing (his great love). He is captain on a 45m private motor-yacht. It resembles a floating five star hotel. April to September, they are in the Med and then they cross to the Caribbean November to February.

[chatterbug]

Sheez, very impressive...it must be hell for him... hehe! I've got a family member on a cruise ship in the Caribbean...quite nice but it has its challenges (you'd know all about this, I'm sure). Amazing sometimes when you see/know/get ot realise the differences in experiences between being crew/officers on board and being a customer/passenger!

Good luck with it all!

C'bug

[Nane]

You are indeed a very cruel man ... playing on my insecurities like that... !

[chatterbug]

Hi Nane, Not sure how to take your post, I hope in jest! If not I did not mean to offend, however...

To clarify, my family members' partner is a very senior officer on a cruise ship and when I get to hear about his/their schedule, pressures, time away from family, difficultly in getting off the ship to "enjoy" all these foreign and "exotic" ports, staff issues and the fact that he can't really go home after a hard day at the office (after all his job follows him around) I do not really envy him.

To others who are not aware of this - it seems that officers/crew have this idillic life and they have a holiday wherever they are. Often their jobs are idealised because of the places they visit and the sort of "free - spirited" feelings it envokes with people - whereas I am aware (and certainly you'd be aware of this) of the reality, and the often very difficult circumstances people work under. I also served on SA warships for a number of years and know this for myself.

Passengers only get to see the glitz and glamour (and so it should be at the prices that they pay) but for example, the differences between crew and passenger quarters is quite marked (although not for the more high ranking officers/captains I must say)

I think these jobs are much more touch than what it is commonly made out to be!

Cheers

C'bug

Edited May 9, 2006 by chatterbug

[Nane]

Chatterbug, not to worry, if I have not yet dealt with my insecurities by now I never will.

You are so right, about the misconception about life on a yacht. In my husbands case, it is nothing like a big cruise liner though. The owner of the yacht is mainly on board, and when not, the yacht is chartered to the rich and famous. Most people think this is very glamorous. These people are used to be pampered in their daily life, so you can just imagine what they expect on a luxury yacht on holiday. On a private yacht, you are not allowed more than twelve guests out at sea, regardless of the size. I believe, these twelve guests can be more demanding than a whole cruise ship.

[Bob]

I'm glad that you've laid my apprehensions to rest. I must admit that I felt sad initially at reading your post on wanting to come to Australia, but your hubbie being unable to join you.

I now feel a sense of things looking so much better on the horizon for you all if you can pull this off. Your images of him just catering to spoilt people would obviously make him feel there's more to life and him being able to join you more often on shifting to Australia and working out of Queensland sounds great . . . for all of you.

Ok . . . back to business.

Well, girl, you've come to the right forum.

You will find Caroline a mine of information as she is pioneering this very path for you, so I can imagine you phoning her and chatting for hours (if I know anything about women!).

Skype might be the way to go as the internet connection is just as good as a dedicated phone call if you've got broadband and calls are so cheap for international. You can download Skype and then just get the other person's phone no. or internet name, if you need a quick call for free. You pay for call credits, by credit card, which allows you to dial up anyone else on their phone at home or mobile phone. If they've got Skype on their computer, you can even talk to them over the net for free 24/7, if they happen to be online at the time.

Others on this forum are characters, as no doubt you've found out. Seoul Sister has a real sense of humour, and helps out from her neck of the woods (South Korea). You'll get ear to ear grins at times reading her posts.

Brisbane is a great city and I can see it would suit charter cruises a lot with its sub-tropical climate, not unlike Durban. I saw a documentary of a Pommie couple who migrated to Brisbane, bought a ship to charter to fishing off the coast . . . . . boy! Hard "yakka" (work) getting everything ready and cleaning up again long after the day fishermen had gone home.

Queensland is seen by Australians as the playground of Australia with its beautiful tropical beaches and 3,000 km coral reef . . . . the longest in the world.

I worked many years ago in Brisbane for a few months and my wife taught three years at St. Peter's College, the Lutheran high school in Indooroopilly, a suburb about 5 kms south west of the city centre.

That part of Australia is really exploding with the development and growth that's occurred there over the past twenty or thirty years. I probably wouldn't recognise many parts nowadays.

Up the coast about 2000 kms is the township of Cairns, which is deep in the tropics so subject to bad weather in summertime (cyclones, etc.) but would have cruise ships working out of that port, in season also.

That is also a "must see" as it's a pretty place and has the typical tropical air about it . . . relaxed, easy-going.

Glad you found this forum.

[Rialet]

Hi Nane

In some areas I have to admit that I agree with Bob. Things are not always easy going through migration and coping with a new culture shock and one needs to be more than prepared for it. At least you have been through this route already and know what to expect.

We were just so excited at our new life ahead of us that we did not even think of any hardships and boy we had a bit of an eye opener. We probably tackled this migration thing with more guts than brains and both my hubby and I are known to be a bit impulsive!!! We really struggled without our support system (fulltime nanny, grandparents closeby and a circle of friends on our doorstep!!!!) and it was a mission to get used to how things are done here in Brisbane. Within 3 months we were highly frustrated - I think we actually skipped the honeymoon phase of the migration process. But in retrospect - what a learning curve it has been and was it not for our wonderful relationship with each other, our faith in God, new friends and a lot of humor it would have been a complete disaster!!!

Cheers

Rialet

[Nane]

Even though I joined this forum about eight months ago I didn't write for a while due to a major motherboard crash (aaahhh... amazing how this affects our lives today) and battling to recover old links. Well I am very happy to have rediscovered this site.

I am arriving in Brisbane on the second of January with my family, husband and two kids (son 17 & daughter 7) after living in the South of France for the past nine years. My husband will only join us for two weeks after which he will return to his job "cruising the seven seas". Since we don't see much of him I decided to take a positive step, enrolled myself at varsity and will become a student yet again come Feb.

I have been reading all your messages on his forum with interest, good to know what you are letting yourself in for. Since this will be my second move I am aware of all the issues to be dealt with. One thing that stands out and will make a wonderful change from previous experience is this great community of SAffers, helping each other out. Just writing on this forum make me feel part of the community!

I would love to hear from anyone living in the Brisbane area. Queensland girl, I lost your e-mail but would love to meet up with you once we arrive.

[Dedrei]

Welcome to our forum. You must be so excited about arrving so soon.

Good luck with everything!

Cheers

[Nane]

Thank you Deidre, it feels like my nerves are letting me down at this point. Maybe because I have done it before and I know what awaits us. Those first few months/years can be very testing. I have been so positive up to now but counting down the days my legs are shaking.

Thank you for your time to respond, it helps.