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Post decision Blues


Cindylou

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since we made the decision to go & we returned from our LSD our whole outlook on life here has changed & we have become very despondent about the future of the country ... everytime I read a newspaper, speak to anyone, look around me at everyday life in SA it all seems so yuck & I keep asking myself "how didn't I notice all of this before ?" or "are things getting worse now ?" or "am I seeing everything diffrently to try & justify my departure ?"

(I started replying in the topic "chicks who wear leather" then thought - hang on, this is supposed to be for funnies, so moved my reply here.)

I know what you mean, Barnone, its as if the scales fall from one's eyes and suddenly the "emperor’s new clothes" disappear. Last time I was in Aus I had the most awful feeling on my final day there. I sat in my mom's garden and thought to myself "I'll just sit here and won't move and then no one will be able to make me go back" I still don't remember packing my suitcase.

Sometimes the fear that we won't get in to Aus actually makes me physically sick and I pray, daily, that God will allow us to move. One day I actually said, in prayer, "Lord, please let the visa be approved, and if it isn't I understand that you have other plans for me, but PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME STAY IN SA" Then I had a quiet giggle, but it wasn't really v funny.

I think once you've been reminded of a type of lifestyle that you no longer experience you notice much more about your current lifestyle. Not all of us have been victims of crime, but all of us live with the litter everywhere, the beggars, the street kids, the slums. The way people don't greet the cashiers (wonder why that happened) and the apathy of staff at the airport. Unroadworthy vehicles, roadhogs, corrupt politicians. All day every day on and on and on.

Someone suggested on another post that Dedrei write a letter / essay describing everything she's going through now that she's arrived in Aus, perhaps what we should do is write a letter explaining to ourselves why we are leaving, or keep a list of the things that wear us down. Imagine how nice it will be to one day go through the list and say, “don’t have that, don’t have that, can’t see that…”

Strength

Cindylou

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Dear Cindylou,

I’ve just read you posting and thoroughly enjoyed it!

Barone, I didn’t see your original posting, but I know exactly how you feel. We haven’t even been on our LSD as yet, but once you make that decision, you actually feel sad.

Good luck.

Pippa!

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South Africans do not realise what they have lost in personal rights and liberties until they travel and experience normal life.

it is only then that one realises what normal is.

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Tx Pippa, I was just trying to let Barnone know that what he's going through is completely normal - even though that won't reduce his feelings of frustration.

QG - I think that for us still in SA it really has been a case of the "frog in the pot of water" syndrome. I remember an Aus relative coming to visit SA years ago (early nineties, I think) and telling us we were all mad to live in such an environment. As you said, its only when we travel that we realise how much we have lost.

Barnone - not sure if you read the post, hope it provided some solace if you did read it; I'm just thinking of all the things I'm going to tick off my list....

Cheers, Cindylou

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Hi Cl (& others)

Thanks for moving the reply (UR right it doesn't belong in funnies !) & for ackowledging your similar feelings

Just knowing I am not alone makes it alot easier

Best

-0

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Before we left SA end 1993, my husband took our camera and went for a drive around Johannesburg. He photographed the high perimeter walls with barbed wire and electric fencing, the armed guards in the parking lots, the mess on the pavements and anything else that was an eyesore! In the first few years, whenever we wondered about our decision, he would haul out the photos and make everybody take a look! That would very quickly make us feel heaps better!

I like Cindylou's idea of writing a letter, before you leave, of the things that really get to you - I am sure I would have need a book for enough space!

Barone - as the Aussies like to say "You'll be right mate!" just come!

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