Ideas about mom & kids flying later

[Karools]

We were thinking of having me fly out alone late August or September, with mom and 2 toddlers coming a month later. The idea being that I would then have an easier time doing things like bank accounts, drivers license, hunting accommodation and the big one...finding a job.

 

Are there any thoughts on this strategy? I am dreading being away from my wife and kids for so long and in a foreign country. I needed to be away from them for 12 days last year December due to work obligations and it was terrible, for me and them. 

 

Will it be more helpful or hurtful to be able to move around more freely sorting out these admin issues? I am leaning towards going together, purely from an emotional consideration. Having them there does mean that they would be sleeping and eating in dollars while I may take a while to find a job...(thanks a lot honorable president)

 

Heart or head, which one should take this one?

[Elizma]

I would also like to know, since we are also considering this strategy. 

[Mara]

@Karools and @Elizma This is a family move, do it together, I say! You will at least have each other to depend on and to bounce ideas off each other, than if you are sitting in two different countries.

As for the admin, you have not met the efficiency of doing things in Australia, obviously... Bank will not take more than 30mins, if that much. Centrelink, perhaps 30mins, but lots of place to sit and wait.. Driver's license, if you have the required documents, then it will be quick and easy as well.

 

House hunting.... for goodness sake, ensure that you have a vehicle, you do not want to do this with public transport... If it is a rental car, then please remember, children in Australia have to be in child car seats, dependent on their age... if you tell the rental company their age, then you ask them to include the appropriate child seats.

 

I do understand that it will be more expensive for you if the whole family is here... but... you should be prepared for the fact that you may not find a job in "a few weeks", so the separation may be longer than you think. Have you considered the stress the partner in Australia will be under? Apart from doing all the "stuff" in a strange city, they would be worrying about their family back home and how safe they are.

 

I, for one, travel all over the world, mostly on my own, as hubby is a homebody... but that is for pleasure, this is a completely different kettle of fish, and we would never do it without the other one being present.

 

I do know of couples that have done this... but it is not the norm!

[RYLC]

12 hours ago, Karools said:

I needed to be away from them for 12 days last year December due to work obligations and it was terrible, for me and them.

 

Based on this alone, you should all come together.  Migration is very tough emotionally and it is not a weakness to say that you need your family near for moral support. Also,being Afrikaans, it is energy sapping to have to speak English all day when it is not your first language.  You will need the "relief" of being able to speak Afrikaans in the evenings.  I speak from experience about this.  My husband spend 4 months working in Germany.  As an English speaker it was tough to constantly translate in his head.  When I visited him we had planned to tour around Germany but he just couldn't because of the language being a strain.  We went to England instead so that he didn't have to think and could just relax.  So you'll need your wife there for that.

 

Type A personalities / lone wolves can do it alone but they are not as common. If you are used to having the support of family then it will be hard without them.

Edited April 12, 2017 by RYLC

[GKatherine]

@Karools, we have just recently made the move and we did it together.  I agree with all of the above.... but also, your wife will then have to travel alone... WITH 2 toddlers (depending on their age, would probably want to be carried most of the time because everything is strange and different)... AND presumably the majority of the luggage.  We came together with 2 toddlers and 15 pieces of luggage (incl 2 bulky carseats).  There is no way that I could have done that alone, just from the practical side of things.

Our situation is a bit different because I came over with a job, but it is a lot to take in and a lot of new experiences.  You would want to share that with somebody (and video calling is just not the same) and have a sidekick to make mistakes with together.

We gave ourselves 2 weeks to sort out all the admin things before I had to start work.  I think, with the exception of securing a rental and school, we had the major stuff all taken care of by day 6.... and that was just doing 1 thing a day so we could still fit in an afternoon nap and some kind of activity.  Take into account that we have done a lot of homework (narrowed down the type of car we would be buying to two, figured out the order of stuff to do (you need cellphone before bank.  You need bank account before medicare. You need medicare before...etc.) this was majorly my husband's efficiency and it saved us a lot of time.  The kids did everything with us.  Some times were more difficult than others, but overall I am very impressed with how well behaved they were through all the admin.  The bank have some kind of play area inside, so although we have had to visit several branches and always had to wait a while, they were happy. For the other stuff I had a backpack full of goodies and we never had an issue.

Do it together!

[AFreshStart]

It's going to be different for each person.

 

I came ahead of my wife and kids, just by 2-weeks, but it allowed me to get so much done without them.

 

Securing the rental, attaching all the services, furnishing the home with the goods we shipped over (very little) and then buying the rest, getting my drivers, buying a car, getting a parking permit, Medicare, insurances, meeting with the principal of my son's new school, putting our name down on the waiting lists for daycare. The list goes on!

 

When my wife and kids (2 and 4 at the time) stepped off the plane they walked into their new home with all their creature comforts, toys and it allowed them to just settle in.

 

My wife started her job a week later and because I'd taken care off all of this she could focus on her new job and the kids were settled in and we could get to exploring the city and come home to a familiar place/surrounding.

 

Cheers

 

Matt

[wonderer]

15 hours ago, GKatherine said:

  (you need cellphone before bank.  You need bank account before medicare. You need medicare before...etc.)

Hi @GKatherine,

 

any other "order of doing things" tips?

[DXB2OZ]

We did things backwards. I came first with the kids while my husband stayed in Dubai. For us this was the most practical option. Each and every family is different.

 

Short version - this is hard. Whichever way you cut it, this is hard. Based on your statement about being away last December and the very valid points about speaking in English all day, it may be easier to do this as a family.

 

Would it be perhaps practical for you to come ahead by just one or two weeks? There is no getting away from the fact that one person moves a lot faster (and cheaper) then four. Then you gain some advantage but it isn't for so long that it is intolerable for the family.

[GKatherine]

On ‎13‎/‎04‎/‎2017 at 11:37 PM, wonderer said:

Hi @GKatherine,

 

any other "order of doing things" tips?

Hi @wonderer, here is what we did...

 

1. Opened a bank account from SA and start transferring money.

2. Get a local cellphone number (we did it at the airport already).

3. Get a local address you can use (they use addresses for identification and post everything... must be a residential address, and you need this ASAP.  We were lucky and have awesome friends who said we can use their address for until we have a rental).

4. Verify your account with the bank and ask them to print you a couple of statements with address (3) printed on.

5. Make an appointment for licence conversion, but only for AFTER you do Medicare (We are in VIC, not sure about the other States). We had to pay online for the booking, so you need a working credit card.

6. Do Medicare and Centrelink. For this you need passport, grant letter and bank letter with address - including waiting time (and there was an industrial action) this took about 90 minutes. The cards will be posted to your address (3). 

7. Licence conversion address.  For this you need passport, SA drivers, bank letter with address and Medicare card - this took 10 minutes each.  The cards will be posted to your address (3). 

8. Tax file number can be requested online, but you need an address (3). The letters will be posted to your address (3). 

9. To buy/register (and in some cases, test drive) a car, you need an AUS drivers licence.  And a local address (3).

10. Credit cards tend to be a but more tricky, but that depends on your bank and circumstances.  From what I gathered, you will not be approved for a credit card without a job, and then you need to submit 2 or 3 payslips.  Our bank allowed me to submit my signed offer letter with an additional letter from HR to say that I am who I am and that I have indeed started with them (thus, could only apply once I started). The cards will be posted to your address (3).  *Side note, we tried to delay all our major purchases until we had the cc's, most rewards system you get bonus points or something if you spend X amount within the two months or so....

11. The rental application requires car licence number (if you have a car), drivers licence, passport, medicare, bank letters, etc.

 

Hope this helps!

 

[FromDurbs]

My thoughts on order of things:

Cell phone should be early on list.  Is easy to do and you need a phone number for everything, plus it simplify your life so much.

You need an address and phone number everywhere you go.  But they were happy to accept the hotel booking as an address.  It just meant I had to change everything when we did get a rental. 

If you dont have a local drivers license the only form of ID anyone will accept is your passport.  So get a local drivers licence.

We put getting a car low on the list and hunting for houses without a car was painful.  If I had to do it all over the car would be much higher.  We got the car without a local drivers licence.  

If you want to get your child in a public school you need a house.  So house before school.  BUT you need to make sure the house falls in a school area you are happy with.  So choose school, then find house in school catchment, then go to school to enrol.

Bank card should be done on Day 1, because it takes about a week to get the actual card.  Your bank account is not worth much for the first week till you get the card.  Bring another method of payment for that week.  We had our SA credit card cancelled just before we left SA due to a bank error, so we could not do any card transactions for the first week.

I started working on Day 2, so needed to do a working with children check on Day 1.  It was hard without all the necessary documents.  They needed proof of address and ID etc.  The bank statements helped.  So activate account on Day 1. 

I was quite organised coming here, with all documents ready and maps printed out etc., but I never thought to get the order of things sorted out.  It is a great idea.

 

BTW.  Unless you really cant afford it, I will come as a family.  The toddlers can stay home while you go to the bank etc, and you will have the support.   We found it stressful with all the decisions you had to make.  Having someone else to compare cars and houses is very helpful.  

[wonderer]

Thanks @GKatherine and @FromDurbs !

[Husky]

This is really useful. Thank you @GKatherine and @FromDurbs

Starting to think that having two teenagers, instead of toddlers, is going to be a blessing with our move 

[ChrisH]

On 18/04/2017 at 0:18 AM, GKatherine said:

We had to pay online for the booking, so you need a working credit card

 

Do you know if we can use the debit cards issued NAB for this purpose?  Ideally, I'd like to have my South African credit card closed off before we fly over so I might only have access to the NAB cards.

 

How long after activating your account will you receive the cards in the post?

[RYLC]

15 minutes ago, ChrisH said:

 Ideally, I'd like to have my South African credit card closed off before we fly over

 

Please double check whether you can hire a car (if you need one) without a credit card.  I've seen this be an issue in the past but maybe there are ways around it nowadays?

[ChrisH]

Luckily we don't, I'm going to chat to my banker to find out if we can schedule the cancellation of my cards for end of June/July.

[vitchie]

From my experience I would suggest doing it as a family. I went in November 2016 and my wife and kids were supposed to come a month later. As you all know, we came back to South Africa, only to now start the process again. This time around we will travel as a family as I really missed the support and think we would have been more successful if we did it all together from the beginning.

[wonderer]

10 hours ago, ChrisH said:

 

 Ideally, I'd like to have my South African credit card closed off before we fly over

 

 

Hi Chris,

 

Is this just a personal, practical choice? We're thinking of keeping it for a while and wonder whether there is something we have not thought about?

[GKatherine]

18 hours ago, ChrisH said:

Do you know if we can use the debit cards issued NAB for this purpose?  Ideally, I'd like to have my South African credit card closed off before we fly over so I might only have access to the NAB cards.

 

How long after activating your account will you receive the cards in the post?

Hi Chris, I am not sure if the debit cards will work.  It took about a week for us to get the cards in the post. 

[ChrisH]

I'm going to try to get the bank to only cancel the credit card effective end of that month.  So at least I'll have a couple of weeks use of the credit card.