Sparing the rod...?

[Karools]

Hi all!

 

What does the current law in aus say regarding parents disciplining their own children at home? Are you legally allowed to give your child a hiding? 

 

And if it is technically illegal, are those types of laws actually policed? What would happen to a parent that illegally gives their child a hiding? 

 

Let met just be clear, I am NOT talking about physical abuse (and if you are in the camp that says a hiding constitutes abuse I would please ask you to keep that opinion off this thread. Feel free to discuss it anywhere else though), just a good hiding with the sole intention of disciplining a child by giving him a sore bottom for a minute, NOT inflicting any type of tissue damage. 

 

(in afrikaans noem ons dit sommer: Ek gaan jou piets...  Kan julle agterkom ek het 'n tweejarige?  )

 

Hope this doesn't open a can of worms....

 

 

 

 

[Enigma]

Also interested.  Don't have kids - may never, who knows the future but I know I was disciplined growing up and thankful for it!

[Mara]

I think a lot would depend on the age of the child, especially regarding disciplining in your own home. When in public, it may be a totally different story. When they are teenagers, with anger issues, you may land yourself in the hot water... so hopefully by then they know the rule of thumb... but this is a different world we live in, definitely not the one we were raised in.

 

The following may explain it better:

https://www.lifehacker.com.au/2016/10/is-it-legal-to-smack-your-child/

 

[Riekie]

No need to hit a child for any reason ever.  

[Eva]

There seems to be a misunderstanding about 'smacking' your own child and the legality of this in Australia.

 

There is NO law against smacking your own child, you are however not allowed to hit anyone else's child.

 

Obviously beating / physical abuse is a different story.

 

Well, certainly this is the case in Qld.

[Lea]

Here is the current situation in Australia (state by state) so no it's not "illegal".

https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/corporal-punishment-key-issues

 

It is, however, highly frowned upon as being an uneducated way of dealing with your children (no reflection on you - just telling you about sentiment here).  By way of explanation I'm on a huge forum over here of over 55,000 people (mainly mums) and I asked the question on there and this was the overwhelming consensus. To quote: "Only bogans smack their kids"  Again no reflection on you. It's the belief of ordinary middle class people like us over here.

 

12 hours ago, Karools said:

 

Let met just be clear, I am NOT talking about physical abuse (and if you are in the camp that says a hiding constitutes abuse I would please ask you to keep that opinion off this thread.

 

 

From your post I sense that you want to keep doing what you have always done and just want to be sure you don't get into trouble. You can but be aware that people do watch and might feel moved to report you if they know who you are or can identify you.

 

Here is the part you may not have considered. A former Saffa living here now has always used smacking to discipline her children.  She says it's quick and effective and up until now it has "worked".  Now that her children are going on 12 and 13, smacking is much more difficult and they are starting to smack her back (she's a single mum now).  She has always relied on shouting / smacking and she doesn't have any other strategies going forward.  Looking back she said if she had known then what she knows now she would have gone on a toddler taming course or something to have other strategies to use.  As far as strategies go, I got a lot of value out of watching Super Nanny and also attended a free toddler course here when my youngest started having the most almighty tantrums from 18 months.  Be aware too that once your child starts childcare / kindergarten / school they will be taught that NOBODY is allowed to put their hands on them. School will give them information about phoning Kids Help Line for assistance etc. 

 

 

 

Edited February 27, 2017 by Lea

[RYLC]

Something else to consider is that when you are here and a new Aussie friend and her toddler comes over for a play date.  Without thinking because you've always done it, you give your child a "tap" on the bottom for not picking up her toys etc.  Your Aussie friend may be horrified and never come back. I've seen this sort of thing go really badly on the social front. Just thought you might want to know... 

 

So for me the question wouldn't be is it legal to smack your child but rather is it social suicide to be seen smacking your child.  In my experience: probably yes

Edited February 27, 2017 by RYLC

[rozellem]

Bear with me and my 2 cents. I have been outside of RSA for 20 years, go there often and have friends/family all over the world. We have discussed this one many times. I also have two boys, 5 and 7, and below is my summary of this situation.

 

Firstly,  I think the terminology is wrong in RSA. DISCIPLINE: "is the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour". To me, and a large part of the world, that means to lay down ground rules of acceptable conduct, to go over and over and over it a 1000 times in a 1000 ways till your kid adopts it. Rules, behaviour, routine, follow through, etc, etc. Its about running a tight ship. All the while setting the example by your own behaviour too. It is literally like picking up a musical instrument. Practice, practice, practice and train, train, train.

 

PUNISHMENT: "infliction of a penalty as a way of correcting disobedience". You have to decide for yourself (according to your childs age and personality) what kind of punishment you will impose if your child knowingly goes against the discipline rules you have been teaching. In my experience, hitting as a punishment has to do with the adults frustration and anger. It teaches kids that if you are angry and frustrated you can loose your $#!+ and hit people. Often the kid misses the point. How many RSA parents have I met where they hit their kids multiple times in the first hour of our meeting, with the kids hitting the mum back in front of me. One boy turned out to be autistic, not naughty like his parents thought. There are many examples of age appropriate punishment for kids out there. Would be helpful to google Love Language for kids too, to pin point you childs buttons. 

Its a (South African) myth that Australians are not big on discipline, its using hitting as a punishment that they think is out dated. 

[Karools]

Thank you for your answers, much appreciated.

 

Was trying to avoid a debate on the morality of parenting techniques and discipline and was (mostly) successful on that front.

 

 

 

 

[RedPanda]

It looks like what they are actually trying to tell you is that you will be able to do in your own house as you please, but you will need to be careful about hiding it. BUT the legal aspect will not be your biggest issue with giving your kids a hiding (like you thought) the biggest issue is that you will not integrate into the society that you are planning on joining, voluntarily, might I add. So I suggest having a bit of a think about this. People are quick to complain that Muslims 'want us to take bacon off the menu' and if they don't like it then why move here.... The truth is that if you are going to raise your children in a different society than the one you grew up in, the best thing for them is to let them join it, because that is where their future lies.

That's my view on it.

 

Edit to add: And I was raised with discipline. As ek stout was het ek pak gekry. My ma het dit nooit gedoen as sy kwaad was nie. Ek het geweet presies waarvoor ek gaan pak kry. En weet jy, soms het ek selfs gedink "Ihm, hierdie kattekwaat is 'n pak werd, kom ons doen dit!" En ek dink nie dit het my enige emosionele skade gedoen nie. Maar wanneer dit kom by immigrasie, dan dink ek mens doen kinders 'n onguns aan om hulle aspris anders te maak as hulle maatjies.

Edited February 28, 2017 by RedPanda