Managing visitors from South Africa

[DXB2OZ]

A whole new hurdle to face - visitors from South Africa.

 

it ranges from the good, through the bad, all the way to the downright ugly. Some are fantastic - my mum thinks Melbourne is amazing and can't wait to move here. She is genuinely pleased that we are happy and settled, as well as being thrilled for the opportunities open to her grandchildren.

 

We are in recovery from a visit from my in-laws.  It is amazing that after less than two weeks, they are experts of Australia, Australians, Melbourne CBD (this after a visit which lasted only a few hours), Brisbane (based on a drive through) and Surfers Paradise (two nights). Yet we are not entitled to hold an opinion about South Africa.

 

Almost everything was bad and compared unfavourably to something in South Africa. We started in New Zealand where snide remarks were made about fences in "a country which was supposedly crime free" - never having heard this particular claim to fame, I did pause for a moment while we walked down a main city street, after dark, in complete safety and without being harassed or scared, to wonder if we were actually having this conversation.

 

No interest was shown in anything we were doing in our new home. They have left without engaging with their only niece and nephew or asking a single question to them or about them. 

 

I fail to see why it is necessary to constantly defend your decision when we have not atacked anyone for chosing to live in South Africa or anywhere else for that matter. I understand that it is sometimes a way to make the attacker feel better about their own circumstances, but after two weeks of this I really have run out of sympathy.

 

Next time we will meet in neutral territory - Kenya seems a good bet.

[WayneACT]

 

[rozellem]

Oh dear, we had a shocker a few months ago too.  Actually, I dont think the relationship will ever recover from the visit.  In the almost 3 weeks here, they NEVER recovered from jetlag!!??  Watched movies on their phones through the night while we slept, not to mention going on Tinder.  We would have to wait for them to apply loads of make up and straighten hair like they are going to a fashion show, so we would only leave on a day of sight seeing at 12:30! That is with loads of botox and tattooed make up all ready in place.   I got instructions about food before they arrived, about them banting and no carbs etc.  Two days in, after giving them the same home cooked food we eat every day, they said they cant stand this healthy food anymore and will my husband take them to the shops for bottles of diet soda and chocolate.  The kids didnt eat any of the same food as the adults either.  We were attacked for our "smug expat lifestyle", what ever that means.  They could not see that we do every thing ourselves, pay for babysitters if we wanted to go out, have my husband work half day if I needed to go to the doctor and could not pick up kids, make every single meal myself instead of buying all pre made food from Woollies in RSA.  We had the visiting 4 year old tell my kids (an innocent 5&6 at the time) that he hated Chinese people because they kill and eat dogs!  The kids were just so spoilt, bratty and opinionated. Lots of hate this and that. Oh man, I have to stop.  In short, I am glad it is over.  The massive divide between us have never been so clear.   

[SurferMan]

@rozellem

 

A sad but also ironic post. Our outlaws were here last year in Feb for 3 weeks. I was not there mercifully for 2 of them but even my missus was glad to take them to the airport after that. Also sat on the internet, could not believe the speed etc. Complained about stuff but agreed SA was in a bad way. Really weird huh?

 

 

[Brad76]

Strange how some folks can be. We've had family over every year since we arrived and all have had only extremely positive things to say....almost to the point where I begin to wonder whether I appreciate this place enough

[FingersCrossed]

Do you think it is because there is some jealousy ? Maybe cause they are not able to get in?

I know when we have visited family in Australia we decided to everything we could to get into the country. Even joking that we would build a boat and sail there. heh heh

[Riekie]

@DXB2OZ Well said and spot on!  Also hilarious....   "are we seriously having this conversation"? 

 

Been there, done that.

[dlmonnink]

My mom and GFs Mom came up for the last 2 weeks of last year. They had a good time and loved everything. Nothing negative to report except for them being angry that we wouldn't let them pay for anything. They were planning on spending R5000 each

[RedPanda]

It's entertaining to read this. I have sympathy for those who suffer insufferable family visits (fortunately I haven't experienced any of that). But it's good that you can all vent on here, talk to people who know what you are talking about. It's great for your own mental health to hear other people tell you that you're not insane, the other people are.

Thanks for sharing