Heids Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 Hi everyone I have only ever posted once when we were busy with our application. well we have now been in Brisbane for about 9 weeks, and to be totally honest I am finding it a lot harder to adjust then I ever thought I would. we came to Brisbane for work opportunity for my husband and I really think that it is a beautiful city but I just can't settle! I am incredibly homesick and have moments when I am imagining how we could just pack up and go back. this is not good considering we are still unpacking the container that has only arrived last week! our kids are also very homesick, they are in am amazing school now but still they are finding it hard to make friends, especially our younger 2. my younger daughter cries every morning and it is breaking my heart I just wanted to get some insight from some people who have possible gone through this and can offer some advise. is this normal? has anyone ever given in and gone back? I know that we have hardly been here enough time to settled and I know that you have to give yourself some time to adjust, I just had not anticipated it to be this hard thank you all so much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurferMan Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 @Heids, Your feelings are quite normal and many on this forum have felt this way. Try and go for a walk on the beach or in the park and enjoy the beauty and scenery. Also try and sit down and talk about what feelings you are having and chat through them. Remember this is a MASSIVE move and it's not for everyone. But please try and remember the WHY you made the move. 1: Your kids have zero chance in real terms in SA. They are punished and discriminated for a crime they never committed. Here, you are equal to the person next to you. They call it a Fair Go. 2: You can move freely with little chance of being accosted. 3: Public service works. 4: Police are honest and can be trusted. 5: If a politician steals here or scooped a tender, they get fired and jailed. Good luck with that in SA. 6: The Rand is free falling. Property expropriation without compensation? Sounds like theft to me. Some people do go back, not many, but some do. I would suggest you give it a go. Aus is a far better place to live than SA. Remember your social fabric is upheaved, your friends are far away, everything is foreign and moves differently. But you will adjust. Also try to join a church, some clubs, do some volunteering etc. In other words, get out there. Take up a hobby, get a bike, go ride. And no matter what happens, remember this "Attitude determines Altitude" Here is some of my life experiences, I hope they can be a small help to you. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-win-when-everyone-betting-you-lose-part-i-paul-coetser?trk=mp-author-card https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-win-when-everyone-betting-you-lose-part-ii-paul-coetser?trk=mp-author-card 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunnyskies Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 Hi Heids Your feelings are quite normal, we all have been there (other than a few who say that they have loved every minute since arriving). It is very unsettling to try and settle in a country that you don't know, and you only realise how different it is once you are living here permanently and are not simply storing stories and memories to relay to friends and family once you get home. I'm not sure how old your children are, but they are also taking queues from you, and the more unsettled you are the more they will struggle. Where in Brisbane are you? There are a lot of Saffas in Brisbane, so I'm sure there will be someone fairly close by who will be happy to have you over for a glass of wine or a cup of coffee (depending on your poison) and let you get things off your chest - it is useful to simply talk about what you are feeling and to talk to someone who is not judging you (which makes phoning home hard because the natural reaction will be for your friends and family there to say come home). I've written before how it took us a fair while to settle, and that there were a fair number tears in the first year, but we got there in the end and are happy with our decision to come to Australia, and subsequently our decision to move from Melbourne to Brisbane (never thought I would live in Brisbane). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterthe1 Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 Hi. I also lived in Honeydew before I left SA. In 2003 Cosmo City was still known as the Honeydew Squatter Camp. It most certainly has grown since I left (I'm looking at it on Google Earth. Amazing how big it has got). That alone would give me enough reason not to go back. Other than that there are a lot more opportunities here. 3 months is a short time to make an assessment of a new home. Give it some time and you will settle in. I wouldn't make going back an option, especially as you have little ones involved. Kids adapt quickly, let them join a sport or club. They'll make friends and you'll meet the parents. Life is safer and more relaxed here. No continuously looking over your shoulder. Getting back into your comfort zone takes a while. Look at the positives and pretty soon you won't be thinking of going back, but wondering why you hadn't come here sooner. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurferMan Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Speaking of Brisbane, looks like I will be headed there for work....and then the family will follow. Was hoping to try keeping the ship afloat in Perth, but alas.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellfish Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) It's pretty common, I'd guess. The panic of realising that everything/everyone you know is on the other side of the world. You are essentially learning things that you've always known for years (where to shop, what to buy, how to make friends, what the hell people are talking about when they use slang or talk about a place you aren't familiar with. I think it would be crazy for people not to feel displaced initially. Take some breaths and remember why you came - it will get better and you will find happiness..... Edited February 3, 2016 by Shellfish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcmiller Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Thank you so much for sharing. This is something that I too worry a lot about. I am moving alone in August - no wife/girlfriend or kids which makes it really difficult because I will literally have no one to confide in. As has been mentioned, just always bare in mind why you left - your children have an amazing and bright future in Oz, all the opportunity in the world. I know it may be difficult now but as they say "byt vas", I am sure it will get better with time and your children will thank you when they are much older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweepea Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 @SurferMan how soon are you moving? Hope you settle in nicely. @Heids thank you for being honest and sharing your feelings. We have not even been granted a visa yet but I do think it will take some getting used to a new place etc as mentioned by the others above. I hope that in time you will be feeling much more positive about the move and will be more settled. @tcmillermoving alone is definitely not for sissies. This was a big decision for you to make on your own and hopefully Oz will feel like home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurferMan Posted February 4, 2016 Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 Hey Sweepea, If I nail the role in the next week or so. It will just be me initially, so if you know of someone renting a room for a few weeks till I can find a place and bring the family over, lemme know! It will be for Government, so hopefully a nice long term contract. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DXB2OZ Posted February 4, 2016 Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 Heids, to be brutally honest it can take one to two years to settle into a new country.....any new country. In your instance, your container only arrived last week, so even if you have moved into your "home", it has only been for a few days and everything around you is chaos. You have two young children who are battling to adjust, which isn't surprising considering they have no proper home base. You don't mention working, which can make it difficult to meet people. My suggestion - cut yourselves some slack. You don't need to settle in this week, this month or even this term. This is all about baby steps and celebrating the little wins. Focus on the getting the house in order to give yourselves a home base - you need to feel that there is a security haven at your back. Secondly, go exploring. I know next to nothing about Brisbane, but I know that we thought the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary was absolutely amazing. Set a budget and get out and make some new memories. Thirdly, be proud of your achievements. I was over the moon the first time I put my own petrol in the car. Not just because I managed to put petrol in my car, but because I did it without the tank overflowing and petrol gushing out all over my shoes. No, I don't think this has ever happened to anyone, but it was a serious concern. The thrill when I finally settled on our preferred toilet paper and learned which sausages the kids liked. Suddenly grocery shopping became so much easier. You have uprooted your entire lives to haul yourselves halfway around the world. Give yourselves an enormous pat on the back and a rousing cheer for a job well done. Come onto the forum to share the good, bad and ugly and for useful tips on those thousand and one little admin tasks which absolutely everyone around you knows how to do and you have no idea where to start. Come and share your achievements and your tales of woe. best of luck. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippi Posted February 17, 2016 Report Share Posted February 17, 2016 Welcome! Your feelings are quite normal, 2 year and Australia will be home. Where in Brisbane are you? There are a lot of South Africans in Brisbane. Are you aware there is a South African club? Best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heids Posted February 17, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2016 Hi guys thank you all for your awesome messages ? We are in Morningside and would love to meet up with any South Afticans ? I did not know about the South African club! What are the details and how do you get involve? Kids are settling in better. So that is s good thing ? Thanks again 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippi Posted February 17, 2016 Report Share Posted February 17, 2016 Heids, the club website: www.afrikaans.org.au. The next event in Brisbane is 'Manne wat Glo 2' in March. Also, are you on Facebook, there is a few South African Groups. Let me know and I can help you with the names. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippi Posted February 17, 2016 Report Share Posted February 17, 2016 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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