Two year update

[sianvz]

Well, it's been a while, some of you may remember me but I'm sure there are a lot of new people on here now.

I have to confess I went into forum hibernation for a lengthy period. Immigration has been a lot tougher than we expected and I felt I needed to take a step back.

Firstly to those who were such a great support in our first few months, thank you. I hope this post can help others who go through the same thing.

On 4th August we celebrated 2 years in Australia, and yes, we celebrated! We have made it through the hardest part.

After 9 months in Margaret River, no sign of work in our sponsor state of ACT, we quit our terrible casual jobs and took a 3-month sabbatical. Most people would say it's a silly thing to do when you're trying to settle, but let me tell you, I learnt so much about myself and it was the best thing we could have done! From scooting around the streets of Indonesia to standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, we had an incredible adventure! It was just before we got on the plane to Hawaii for our final 2 weeks that we looked at each other and said "So where are we going when we fly back to Australia? Because we're not going back to WA".

Enter: Melbourne! The most liveable city in the world 5 years running. So many people had put us off Melbourne, saying it wouldn't suit our adventure/beach lifestyle, that the weather is horrible. Well Melbourne has pulled out all the stops. It welcomed us with open arms and we are loving it! My husband landed the exact job he was hoping for in just 5 days and me 6 weeks later. We are living right near the beach with Mornington Peninsula just half an hour away and the Great Ocean Road an hour and a half away. This winter I learned to snowboard and was absolutely blown away by the beauty of the Victorian Alps. We have been to 4 AFL games and have become dedicated Hawks supporters and even put the footy on, on a Saturday evening!

In 2 weeks we fly to South Africa for our first visit since leaving 2 years ago. We're really hoping it will be a fantastic and relaxing holiday and we've both committed to ensuring it's only full of positives. We are going with the mindset that we are so grateful to be able to afford this trip and that we get to spend 3 weeks in one of the most beautiful places in the world! I'm not turning a blind eye to the fact that it will probably stir up some emotions, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

So here's what I've taken out of the past two years in Australia that I feel could help someone out there:

1. Immigration is a grieving process.

There are phases that you will go through that will affect every person differently. Don't be so hard on yourself. This will be one of the most testing and difficult processes you will ever face and you don't need to be a superhero! Go for counselling if you need to, this is your life and your mind needs to be healthy in order for you to be happy - and on the plus side, medicare offers financial assistance for this.

2. Make Australia home as soon as possible.

Join a hobby/sports club. Get a dog and find a park/beach to visit regularly. Sign a long lease or buy that house if you love it. Do as much permanent stuff as possible, the longer you linger in the temporary mindset the harder it is to settle. Now be sensible about this stuff of course, I'm not encouraging people to go buying pets they can't care for or making bad property buying decisions. All I'm saying is, don't let the thought of "But what if we don't end up staying here" stop you from doing things that will help you feel settled. Commit.

3. Put yourself out there.

I speak for myself but probably many others when I say that I'm quite fussy about who I make friends with. Don't expect to feel the same towards someone you've known for 2 weeks as you do to your friends of 15 years. It's not going to happen. You need to invest in these new friends. No one is perfect, you'll probably find you could point out negatives of even your best friends that you've come to love them for or just let go of. This was a tough one for me but I've now come to really enjoy the friends I've made at work and can see really good friendships developing.

4. Blend in.

Unfortunately some Australians seem to have a bit of a skewed view of South Africans. I can sort of understand why, but I also think we're a bit misunderstood. I was told in WA that Aussies find South Africans to be a bit bossy and arrogant. Here's my interpretation: We're well-mannered, hard workers with high standards. Some of our language can be misinterpreted. For example, Australian's only use the word 'must' in very important and urgent matters. So when you tell an Australian they must do something, they may take it the wrong way. Makes sense. I also found out the other day, that when someone says thank you to me and I respond with a happy "OK!", they find it abrupt and rude and that I should rather say "No problem!" or "It's a pleasure!". Listen to what people tell you, it can only help. You're not here to make Australians adapt to the way you do things, you need to adapt to the way they do things. Be yourself and don't lose your South Africanisms but just be self-aware.

In summary, just go with it! What a beautiful country with amazing opportunities just waiting for you to enjoy.

Happy weekend everyone and to those currently on this journey, I wish you smooth sailing ahead.

Here are some photos I wanted to share.

[AFreshStart]

SianVZ,

Congrats on your new milestone, we will have been here a year next month and completely resonate with you thoughts and feelings and have found them invaluable in our own settling process.

Wishing you both the best in your new home of Melbourne.

Cheers

Matt

[rozellem]

Was wondering where you had got to only a few weeks back. Did your hubby get a wine related job in the end? Or was it all change for you?

[HansaPlease]

Great to hear you're settling in and enjoying Melbourne. It's not a bad joint.

[Mara]

Melbourne Rocks ♡♥♡

[Eva]

thanks for sharing!

[sianvz]

Thanks everyone!

@rozellem: My husband is still in the industry but not in production, he's working as a consultant for a company who supply wineries with equipment etc which is something he had been wanting to do

[RedPanda]

Thank you for the post.

It's encouraging to see people liking Melbourne. We have decided to settle there next year when we go over, but I know a lot is said about the 'bad' weather. Still, I think we'll like it too.

[EmNew]

Thank you for sharing your journey. Glad to see that it's worked out so well. We've only been here in Melbourne for 2 weeks, and it's starting to feel like home already.

Now very inspired to check out more of Victoria, thanks to your beautiful photos.

[Stace]

Wow thank you so much for sharing! I always enjoy reading the different experiences of those that have already landed in Aus.

Such incredible images, Aus is seriously beautiful - can't wait to explore!

[AndreCarla]

This was such a lovely, authentic post, thanks!

[sianvz]

@RedPanda - I was so worried about the weather because of what people said but I can honesty say that I love the variety and have not found myself complaining once. Maybe we've been lucky over the past year but we've found it to be a very moderate climate and I actually prefer it to WA weather. Four proper seasons means you get to enjoy the best of everything ?

@EmNew Getting out and exploring is the best thing to do. My top picks are sunrise at Bell's Beach, coffee in Sorrento and a wander down the main street, if you head East to the Dandenongs you can hike the thousand steps then go for afternoon tea in Sassafras. The photo of us in the snow is in Warburton, just 80km from the city.

All the best with settling in!

[RedPanda]

We did the 1000 Steps this June, it was beautiful! And although it was busy, the people were all so polite. That area stole our hearts from the first time we stayed there in Jan 2014, and being there again just confirmed it. We hope to live there when we move over next year.

Also check out Ricketts Sanctuary, it's very beautiful, although maybe don't do it on the coldest day of winter like we did...lol

Thanks for the encouragement sianvz!

[sianvz]

@RedPanda Will definitely check it out thanks! Friends of ours just bought in Upwey, just at the base of thousand steps, gorgeous area!

[Tee]

What a lovely post, thank you.

We loved Melbourne on our activation trip but I must admit that this Winter (back in SA) I was watching the daily weather in Melbourne and it was mighty cold!

So glad to hear you're settling in

[aappolis]

Thanks for the post and well done on finding home!

I love Melbourne and will be settlign there after a year in Radelaide.

Great tips too!

[NickiD]

What a great post! We're two months in and I'm definitely feeling a little lonely and sometimes a bit sad...we have two kids at school-going age, so it makes meeting people easier, but they're definitely not yet "our" people, and understandably so! Definitely doing our best to blend in - 12 month lease signed in Sydney's gorgeous eastern suburbs, a couple of regular beaches fast becoming g our favourite spots and we're learning more about being Aussie's every day I am working full time which is a huge change as I was working from home in Joburg and much more involved in our kids every day afternoon lives, but nothing is set in stone in terms of work, so I'm not getting myself too stressed out about it. My husband is doing amazingly with his law degree conversion - studying and sitting exams 17 years after finishing up at varsity is not for ants! He's hopefully going to enter the job market soon and any contacts that anyone has with lawyers or law firms who'd be willing to give an experience commercial litigator some time to gain Aussie experience would be most welcomed! Australia is an amazing place and I'm SO grateful to be here!!!

[sianvz]

@nickid - Glad to hear things are going well. The loneliness feeling does wear off slowly as your new surroundings become a bit more familiar. I know what you mean when you say "our" people. My husband struggled with that part, he often said he just feels like he's got no sense of belonging here. It's taken us about 2 years to feel like we understand Aussies and can relate. Completely random suggestion but you guys should watch shows like "Have You Been Paying Attention" and some Aussie comedy shows, we've found it really helps get in touch with the humour and lingo. Work is such a help to get settled! Today is my 1st anniversary in my job and it's given me a real sense of belonging and purpose.

Good luck with everything!