JEMS Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Good morning allI would love some feedback from parents with 9 / 10 year old boys and how it went integrating your child into the new school environment? My son is not too happy about the move to Oz. Not at all. And I am trying to tell him that it will be okay, that he will quickly make new friends etc but honestly, I am just saying what I am supposed to say as his mother. I do not know how it will be in reality. I am worried about the fact that if all goes to plan, he will start the new school year in 2016 in Grade 4. And with the kids being older, I am not sure how quickly acceptance by his peers will happen. He is not a small boy, he is tall and big so I am not necessarily afraid of him being bullied, at least not by the kids in his grade, but I am not sure what the attitude is at all towards "foreign" kids.It is a strange concept to accept, but we will be the outsiders and I am not sure how welcomed we really are by the Australian people. Speaking as a citizen from a country now known to attack foreigners. So, any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelamartins36 Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Our eldest son has just turned 10 and is in year 4. He was obviously nervous of our move too and with being a paranoid mom I guess that had me very worried.I tried to prepare our kids in the most practical ways I could. I made a file with everything Australian that a child their age would automatically know due to growing up in the country. This including things like the national anthem, money, common animals, states and capital cities, common landmarks etc. All of these things seemed to help my kids and also give me peace of mind.We also did a school walkabout and interview prior to school actually starting which made them feel really comfortable on the first day. Our kids are very accepted and extremely popular and we have no issues with them being foreigners. Australians seem very used to foreigners as they have many nations and cultures here, so I would not worry about that too much.We had one or two weeks were our kids seemed very clingy but we think that was due to the fact of everything being strange and new. They have settled amazingly well and looking back I don't know why I worried as much as I did.Good luck! Your son will do great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoleneW Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 Hi Angela,I love your file idea, definitely going to use that when the time comes for our kids (aged 12, 10 and 6), thanks.JEMS, I think your concerns are normal as a mom but kids are probably more resilient than us adults, I am sure he will settle quickly. We have not made the big move yet ourselves but have friends who moved to Adelaide in December 2013 and their kids who are the same ages as mine have all settled very quickly. We have other friends who moved to Melbourne 2 months ago and their kids too have settled and been accepted quickly into their new school, so I wouldn't worry.Wishing you all the best on your new adventure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riekie Posted June 11, 2015 Report Share Posted June 11, 2015 Hi JEMS,Your sons will be FINE! Really! My daughter was 11 and although she was also understandably scared and anxious about going to a new school in a foreign country, she adjusted so quickly and LOVED it! Kids are very resilient - more resilient than we often give them credit for and part of building that resilience is exposing them to situations where they need to "tough it up" a little. As parents we want to protect our kids from everything - also the things we imagine in our minds and which never happens. I'm one of those tiger moms, so I understand your concerns, but I think you're a bit overly paranoid. Your son is going to be OK - he'll survive and he'll soon thrive. I was in 9 different schools and I always found happiness even though initially I thought it was the saddest thing ever! Two weeks and I was happy as Larry!Don't worry so much!...PS: Australians do not attack foreigners - we're a rainbow nation in the true sense! In fact, our kid was a little celebrity at first, being from "Africa"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanniewagnie Posted June 11, 2015 Report Share Posted June 11, 2015 Hi, my daughter is 11 and my son 8. It was a huge adjustment, but I think mainly because they were in an Afr school. It took them a good month to feel more settled. I work very hard after school with the youngest to help with the language. My oldest is just fine. Very independent self-driven lady... Making friends will depend on their personalities, but we did not experience any 'foreigner' distinguishing. More than half of my son's class / their parents were born outside Oz. Be involved at school with volunteering, it help your kids to see you there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OubaasDik Posted June 12, 2015 Report Share Posted June 12, 2015 (edited) Hi JEMS,Your sons will be FINE! Really! My daughter was 11 and although she was also understandably scared and anxious about going to a new school in a foreign country, she adjusted so quickly and LOVED it! Kids are very resilient - more resilient than we often give them credit for and part of building that resilience is exposing them to situations where they need to "tough it up" a little. As parents we want to protect our kids from everything - also the things we imagine in our minds and which never happens. I'm one of those tiger moms, so I understand your concerns, but I think you're a bit overly paranoid. Your son is going to be OK - he'll survive and he'll soon thrive. I was in 9 different schools and I always found happiness even though initially I thought it was the saddest thing ever! Two weeks and I was happy as Larry!Don't worry so much!...PS: Australians do not attack foreigners - we're a rainbow nation in the true sense! In fact, our kid was a little celebrity at first, being from "Africa"...Sorry Riekie- your PS is only 95% correct. Some Aussies do NOT like foreigners. You may see reports in some of the newspapers (supported by youtube videos) every couple of weeks - sorry, but it's true ... usually verbal attacks on Muslims or asians on public transport. (yes, I don't like it either)Getting back to SAffas,my son never really fitted in - he is borderline Aspie - like father, like son, but on the day my family landed in Oz (i was the scouting party), we sent the kids to the local park to allow us to talk (yes, just talk) and daughter came back with 3 new friends - she is still friends with 2 of them .... (that was 2003) Edited June 12, 2015 by OubaasDik Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miran Posted June 13, 2015 Report Share Posted June 13, 2015 Agree with Oubaas Dik! We settled in Sunbury on the 12th of January 2015 (middle of the holidays almost), with a 9 year old daughter and 11 year old boy. Fortunately our container had not arrived yet and we bought the kids bikes and scooters asap. They spent their first days in the parks and streets and made friends really soon. They were in the same school that we wanted to send our kids to, and that really helped them on their first day, knowing other kids in the school that showed them around and introduced them to others.It will also be great if you can get him involved in a sportclub, great for confidence and socialising. My experience is that kids see newcomers from other countries the same as newcomers from other states, interesting for the first day or two, but then they "forget" about it. Every class has quite a few newcomers through the years, the kids are use to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEMS Posted June 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 Hi All, thank you for the replies. I had a busy week and could not get the time to just sit down and properly respond. My concern is more based off of his concerns. I moved around a lot as a child too and I do not recall ever really having any issues with making friends, despite not being the most social of kids (moving around a lot kind of made me less social with each move we made). He is moving away from his birth town and has a large group of friends, most he has had since he started going to nursery school. His concern is more anger at us taking him away from his friends, I think, more than fear of not being able to make new ones. I kind of wish he was a year or two younger because I think it might have been easier. Anyway, it will be a big move regardless and he is not an introvert at all, so I am sure that it will all be okay in the end. Or at least, I am very very hopeful. Our plan at the moment is for me to not work for at least the first 6 months to the first year, to help settle him in and start out daughter at her first nursery school. Anyway, thank you for the feedback. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DXB2OZ Posted June 14, 2015 Report Share Posted June 14, 2015 My son is an Aspie and has battled with school all of his life. His first term in an Australian school made the entire move process, all the heartache, all the tears, all the costs and the agony, completely worthwhile!In fact we are have the reverse problem now. He gets agitated with too much stimulation. So his class see that is getting upset and all move on to try and comfort him. Then he gets more upset so they turn themselves inside out to comfort him more. The teacher has actually had to create an "isolation zone" where he can go when he is upset and the class know they aren't allowed to follow him there.He is now 12, was 11 when we landed, went into year 5. My biggest regret is that we didn't move him sooner.I have found that generally Australian children are exceptionally accommodating and inclusive, particularly at a primary school level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzz Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 We moved here about 18 months ago with our 2 boys. Our eldest had just turned 8 in December 2013 while the youngest turned 7 in April 2014. We are Afrikaans speaking, but luckily both could "help themselves" in English. Because the eldest was always the youngest in his SA school year, he did struggle a little with emotional/social issues in SA (he did not play A Team Rugby...), but loved to sing in the choir. He adjusted just fine here and his self confidence grew tremendously because self worth is not measured in terms of how well you do in sport. It is now 18 months later and he sounds like an Aussie and have caught onto all the slang (which drives us crazy ). The youngest started his Year one year here and unfortunately struggled more. The children here start to read in Kindergarten and as a result he missed out on a lot of the basics - in his second language. The school did a wonderful job to support him and he was entered into a Reading recovery programme where he received individual attention on a daily basis. Because he struggled a lot, he was put in a class with a lot of other children who also experience difficulties with learning. However, most of their difficulties were associated with social/emotional issues and as a result our son got mixed up in the wrong crowd. We took him out of the public school (although it is a excellent school), and moved him over to a private school. He adjusted so well and we could see our little boy finding his groove again. So in short: It may take some time for them to adjust, but your boys will be fine in the long run. Reflecting back I think the process was more challenging for us as parents as for them. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riekie Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Sorry Riekie- your PS is only 95% correct. Some Aussies do NOT like foreigners. You may see reports in some of the newspapers (supported by youtube videos) every couple of weeks - sorry, but it's true ... usually verbal attacks on Muslims or asians on public transport. (yes, I don't like it either)Not aimed at you Oubaas Dirk, but in almost 11 years in Australia, we have never been treated any different by any Australians - or any other culture for that matter. In my own observations and from what I've personally witnessed and experienced, it was the South Africans who treated their own (and the Aussies, Asians & Indians) like rubbish. I found many South Africans to be status conscious (aka snobs), culture conscious (aka racist) and unable (aka unwilling) to integrate and blend in. They want their "little Pretoria" with their white supremacy and intolerance to any belief, religion, opinion, upbrigning, culture or orientation other than their own conservative views right here in Australian suburbia and they're unshamefully verbal about it. Just look at some of their facebook friends even after years in Australia - all white Afrikaans speaking South Africans... That in itself says it all. Although we have many awesome South African friends, we no longer attend organised South African get-togethers as it mostly ends up being a showdown of who owns what, who lives where and endless racist whinging.We have left South Africa for a better life, and we found it here in Australia. We have embraced and integrated. We've made friends of many cultures; Australian, Indian, Asian, Mid-Eastern, European, NZ, American, Canadian, Irish, Mauritian... - we probably have friends from every continent on this planet. If you want to live in Australia, you need to open your mind and leave your pre-conceived ideas at the border - it took us some time and often some very hard soul searching, and it is still a work in progress especially in relation to our own experiences growing up in South Africa. Of course, I can only speak from my personal experience, but racism can only happen when we allow it, and we have to start with ourselves. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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