A mother's fears

[DXB2OZ]

First day of school tomorrow and my heart is in my throat. My daughter is entering high school with all the angst and drama that goes along with that "rite of passage" - she's terrified of not making any friends, having not had a great time in her previous high school, and subsequently tries to make herself invisible, or comes off as standoffish to people trying to be friendly. My son has "issues" all of his own and if he acts up too much at the start will scare away potential friends and attract bullies - speaking, sadly, from previous experience. I find it difficult putting myself out there and know I'm going to be standing outside the school like Billy-no-mates just wanting somebody, anybody, to give me a smile and a cheery "hello".

So, while swallowing my own nerves, need to talk up the kids, try and keep them positive and keep us going. I know the first hurdle is just initially, but to be perfectly honest, I'm scared.

On the upside, the kids are so bored with each other and with me, that, despite their nerves, they are actually both looking forwards to starting school tomorrow. It's something to do and the chance of meeting people.

[Sunnyskies]

Good luck DXB2OZ. I'm sure it will be fine.

Think about getting them involved in sport or some co-curriculum activity so they can be part of a team. If you are supporting the team you will also find yourself making friends with the other parents.

[BriD]

Sending some huge hugs!!!

[Bronwyn&Co]

((((Hugs)))) that first day of school is scary. I hope it goes really, really well.

By the way our school is always in need of parents to work in the tuckshop. Maybe if you have time you can do that once a week (and it's a friendly face there for them).

Thinking of you all! Let us know how it goes?

Also - I'd have a discrete chat to the class teachers and ask if there are any other kids they could suggest you invite around for a bit of a gatho. Friday evening pizzas or something, or just after school. Especially because it's the middle of the year the teachers will already be aware of the friendship groups, nice kids, less nice kids..you know what I mean. But keep the conversation very light, they won't like you to be too direct or specific ie. 'Which kids should we avoid?' will be a no-no, lol.

Otherwise good old fashioned tricks like having extra lollies and a bouncy ball or netball are always helpful...?

Edited July 12, 2014 by Bronwyn&Co

[Willa]

Ask at the front reception whether there is any other Saffa kids and if you can get an introduction. As Bronwyn&Co says find out if they are in need of help at school, canteen or even in the library. To which school will your kids go to if I might ask?

[DXB2OZ]

Thanks guys. Willa, we are in Brighton east, so they are going to the local govt schools. It's also the sheer logistics - I still don't know my daughter's class (she is going into year 7), what language she will be taking what sport she will be signed up for - found out by accident she has to get a locker, found out by accident my son needs to take his iPad in and just know there will be a whole bunch of things it won't occur to anyone to tell us, but we will need to know.

I am sure that in six months' time we will look back on this time and go "remember when", but for now it is so daunting. You always feel once the kids are happy and settled, you can handle anything that life throws at you.

Uniforms are washed, ironed, labelled and ready to go. Lunches ready to be assembled in the morning. Children washed and fed. Not much more I can do, except sit back, watch X Factor and realise if those kids can face an entire audience, I should be able to pull myself together and face the school receptionist!!

[Bronwyn&Co]

You might find it helpful to buy second hand textbooks on

http://www.sustainableschoolshop.com.au

I sell and buy a lot of stuff on there

[Sunnyskies]

Try and get a meeting with each class teacher so they can bring you up to speed on what you need. Quite a few year 7 textbooks now electronic. Your daughter may need a laptop.

For maths your daughter will probably have a hotmaths login. Useful form of revision where you can also get a steer on how she is coping.

[Sibella]

Good luck for tomorrow!! My daughter started Year 7 this year and to be honest it was a huge adjustment for all of us and we've been in Melbourne for three years!

Let me know if your daughter would like to make contact with mine via kik or text, it might help if she chats to someone of the same age going through the same stuff.

Don't worry about things like lockers and laptops etc. the school will sort it all out for you and understandably it will take a few weeks for them to get the hang of things.

Things my daughter struggled with when starting high school was the amount of homework they got as she didn't get much at primary school!

She really struggles with Maths and they work at a fast pace but her Maths teacher has been very helpful with suggestions, they also have a Maths helpdesk at school which my daughter refuses to use (of course). High school is obviously quite different than primary school in that as a parent you are not really allowed to be seen at school (how embarrassing) and mostly correspond with the teachers via email except of course at parent teacher interviews. But I like that as I am sometimes a bit nervous when talking to teachers.

One weird thing is that my daughter isn't friends anymore with any of her primary school friends who went with her, she made loads of new friends all from different schools. And as you are in different classes for each subject she made a friend or two in each subject class which is great, although it drives me nuts as I can't keep up with who's who! Also she will be very busy with so many subject to learn so hopefully won't have a lot of time to feel down. And I really enjoyed the sometimes yummy food my daughter brings home on Thursdays after food tech!

I was worried in the beginning but she got a great report so she is obviously settling in and adjusting.

So my point is is not to worry too much if it is difficult in the beginning as she probably would have struggled anyway even if she attended primary school here.

If your son is in primary school definitely try to volunteer and go to the morning teas etc. so that you can meet people. I approached the first friend my daughter made's mum and invited myself over to her house. We are still friends and she was a great help!

Good luck!

Edited July 13, 2014 by Sibella

[DXB2OZ]

So, first day went well for both, which is a huge relief. It kind of sets the tone moving forwards and we were all very worried. My son loved his school and has learned to write his first word in Japanese (he won't write in English. But Japanese is exciting), the kids were really nice and friendly he likes his teacher - she has a very good read on him and his issues and seems to be one of those firm teachers, with a twinkle in the eye.

Daughter in high school made some friends, found some good things, found some boring things and diagnosed the overall experience as "good" - from a monosyllabic borderline teenager, that is practically gushing.

Am sure we will have more angst down the line, but very relieved to have managed this hurdle.

[Bronwyn&Co]

That's great DXB! Considering they've broken the ice with day one, nothing will be as scary. Congratulations!

[Eva]

LOL! You can start with NOT ironing their uniforms, then they will look like they have been there always!

Hope things continue to improve.