Help please - child with ODD / CD / ADHD you name it

[BellaDee]

Hi all

I am appealing to all the wonderful teachers on this forum for guidance please.

In June we became guardian to a boy whose mother had just died. The timing was really bad

as we had just sold our business and our property in preparation for taking uo residence before

our visa expired in Aug. We allowed the visa to expire so that we could attend to all the legalities

and of course the child has no visa so we would have to start that whole process for him.

The migration agent we contracted advised us to add the child as a dependent on our spouse visa application, rather than going for

an orphan child visa separately.

We have a number of difficulties. The child is 15 but with low cognitive functioning (age about 9). He has oppositional defiance disorder and conduct disorder, apart from ADHD, which makes daily life very stressful - in fact his behaviour is so bad at times that his very presence is causing problems in the family. He is also obese and lazy. To an outsider he appears cute and charming as a 9 year old. He should be attending a special needs school but none will enrol him because of his history of bad behaviour which goes back as far as nursery school. He has just finished grade 7 (didnt pass), and has repeated twice already in primary school. So I am trying desperately to place him at any appropriate school, and I am hoping that someone out there might know of a school I have not tried. We are based in Durban but would consider any school countrywide if there are boarding facilities available.

The other problem is that he will fail the health requirement for the visa. We do have the health waiver opportunity, but we have

been warned that it is quite likely he will not get the waiver. The "fail one fail all" principle will apply, and my husbands visa will

also be denied. Bad scenario as our own kids are flying out on 29 Dec, and we will have to stay behind for now with this child.

No members of the extended family will even consider taking custody of this child so we are in a predicament.

On the very slim chance that he gets the visa, I will face the same school dilemma in Brisbane later. I have already established

that he will not qualify to apply for special needs education - the criteria are very strict and he is not "bad" enough.

Any suggestions or information from teachers (or parents) in Brisbane would be appreciated.

Bad day today - but I am hoping theres an angel out there who can show me the way forward.

Thank you all.

[Sibella]

I cannot advise you about schools in South Africa but here in Australia he will probably just go to a mainstream school with an aide if he qualifies.

There are plenty of kids with 'problems' as my daughter calls it at her state school and they do get assistance. You just need to ask around about state schools which will best be able to help him.

[Caz]

I can't offer any assistance or advice, except to say that I have heard great things about this particular school in Brisbane. Good luck with whichever road your journey takes. http://nurseryrdspecs.eq.edu.au/

[Lyn]

I don't know about an angel out there who can help you, but I just wanted to say, you are an angel. I don't know of many people who would put their lives through what you have.

My son is ADHD, and he was put into a mainstream school, into a special needs class.

[Eva]

WOW! No advice but just want to say I hope things work out for you. You sound like an amazing person and I hope that the road ahead is smooth. I just want to say that schools in Australia have 'special needs' units in 'normal' schools and from what you have said there he would qualify for that assistance. I have worked in the SEU at our local school and all those things he has been diagnosed with are things kids in the unit have.