The Journey towards the land Down Under

[BriD]

Thanks Ladies. Appreciate the thoughts and prayers

[Denzil]

I still have my application papers for my unabridged marriage certificate and no certificate and already here Down Under....????

Like I mentioned before, it all depends on your CO.

All my documents was stamped by the police station, had no issues there.

Just had to give in one IRP5 and latest payslip (I heard there are people that must give like 10-20years worth)

Good luck!!!

[BriD]

EDIT TO ADD Background: After the terrible cramps etc. They did a second colonoscopy which revealed that his small intestine had telescoped itself right into his colon and was starting to cause a blockage. They also discovered a mass which on initial biopsies showed as not malignant. So they made the decision to operate and remove the whole telescoping scenario and the mass. They ultimately removed 25 cms of his colon and double that of the small intestine.

So on Tuesday afternoon the surgeon who removed my brother's tumour confirmed that it was a cancerous sarcoma in his colon. This is a real blow to the family...yet another case of cancer...first my mom she survived, my sister died from it, and now my brother. It seems so difficult to actually absorb this...and even worse something my mom said after we found out "We know how to walk this road, we have all done it before"...how sad is that...that as a family we know how to walk the road of dealing with cancer in the family...is it sad.

Fortunately for my brother, his other underlying condition actually saved his life in that the cancer was found very early. Surgeon removed everything around it and the lymph nodes and it is all clear. So his prognosis is good...but chemo is hard on the body. I feel terrible that after all he has been through he has still got another mountain to face.

Of course that bad news on Tuesday...then followed by my hubby's resignation...it has been a hell of a week. Any other time I would have been overjoyed to be moving forward our date of departure...but right on top of a cancer diagnosis in my immediate family...that is a tough one.

I phoned my mom last night to discuss this all with her. I have an overwhelming torn feeling now...my priority is my family...my husband my kids...but I also hold my mom, dad, sister and brother as high priorities in my life. And to be considering leaving the country when my family is going through this...I feel guilty and selfish and horrible and torn.

My mom reminded me that there is nothing I can do...I don't even live in the same city...they are in Durban...I am in Johannesburg. She said that we should move forward as we planned. That it will help her to know that one of her children are safe and happy. I told her I feel like I am abandoning her...she said that she did not feel that at all. And my dearest mom as hard as it must have been for her started telling me about all the things I could look forward to in Aus. Just writing this makes my eyes well up...she is an incredible amazing loving mother. I am SO fortunate.

It made me think of all the stories from all of you with some truly difficult reactions from parents...and really made me appreciate the incredible support I have from her and the rest of my family all the more intensely.

This has just been a really tough week...tough couple of weeks with all the worry around my brother and what is happening. I feel drained, scared and nervous about so many things. Emotional rollercoaster ride of note.

But then...no one ever said this was going to be easy...and it is bound to get even harder.

And so onwards we go...

Edited June 27, 2013 by BriD

[Tebbutts]

Such a difficult time for you and your family! Thinking of you and sending a big hug your way.

[Toitjie]

Im so sorry about what your family is going through. Cancer is a horrible illness but Im glad his prognosis is good. Big hug....I cant imagine what you must be going through after losing your sister, then getting this news.

[Tsunabi]

Praying for you and your family.

[BriD]

Thank you everyone...life sure is one hellavu rollercoaster ride

[BriD]

So this week I have been wrapping up plans for our September LSD/Activation trip. The excitement is starting to kick in!

I ordered some maps of Australia which arrived yesterday - Perth, Brisbane, Adelaide, Sydney and Melbourne. Hubby and I had a marvellous time pouring over the maps imagining what it would be like to live in an area called Christmas Hills or Wollogong...we got all excited like giggling teenagers.

A run down of our trip:

5th Sep - Leave Johannesburg on Qantas

6th Sep - Arrive Sydney. Spend the Night at the Holiday Inn Sydney Airport

7th Sep - Fly Sydney to Brisbane. Spend 2 nights at Pacific Resort Cleveland. We have hired a car for the 2 days.

I have some extended family there and one of our days will be spent with them having a "barbeque" Brisbane style

9th Sep - Fly Brisbane to Melbourne. Spend 7 nights in Point Cook at a self catering townhouse in a residential suburb. We have hired a car for the week.

I have some friends here and a second cousin which we plan to see during our stay there.

As this is our most likely place to settle we will be doing some driving around looking at different areas and getting a feel for the place

16th Sep - Fly Melbourne to Sydney. Spend 4 Nights at Meriton World Tower Serviced Apartments

Will spend those days doing touristic things exploring etc

20th Sep - Pick up a car and drive to the Blue Mountains area where we will spend 3 nights with Hubby's family.

23rd Sep - Drive to Sydney Airport and fly back to Johannesburg arriving on the 24th.

Excited....is an understatement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited July 11, 2013 by BriD

[Toitjie]

wow..I got goosebumps just reading your post!! I am so super excited for you, it sounds like an awesome trip. Half the fun of the activation trip is the planning, I have also had great pleasure in the planning and booking phase of our trip.

Enjoy every moment!!

[Lyn]

Sounds awesome - enjoy.

The Blue Mountains will be a lovely place to relax a little and enjoy your last few days before heading back.

[BriD]

The only thing really certain in our lives right now is our move to Australia. We will be immigrating there..."when?" is the big question.

I realised that of late I have been "living in the future" and not the present. I am a rather impatient person and once a decision is made I want to get on with it...but this is one of those things I have no control over.

The only thing keeping us here is my hubby's loyalty to his work...sigh...such a long endless story...but I understand where he is coming from...but I am also seeing it from the outside. It is very frustrating.

Anyways...I came to the conclusion the other day that I cannot spend each day waiting for the future to arrive. I have to live each day to the full, because we really have no idea what the next day will bring. I am going to try my best to just sit back and wait until the time is right to leave. We both need to be on board with that decision so I don't want to pressurise him and have that coming to bite me later.

So...I shall make every day count as if it were my last...

All in good time.

[McCabes]

Bri, you have an amazing mom. Wow.

I'm so sorry I missed everything going on with your brother - how's he doing now?

So happy for you and excited and motivated that you've done this all yourselves! Very inspirational.

Almost September! :D

[Maktub]

BriD my thoughts are with you! I can empathise more than you will ever know! Big hugs

ENJOY your LSD!!! Sure you will love Melbourne!!!

[BriD]

It has been 2 weeks and 1 day since we got back into South Africa after our amazing LSD/Activation trip...and I am still feeling totally disconnected.

I know that I should force myself to snap out of it and get back into enjoying each day no matter where I am. I am just struggling a bit. Hopefully I will be able to get back to normal soon.

I think that I could probably blame that on our current situation of limbo in our lives in South Africa. For at least 2 years we have been in a state of limbo. Hubby's family company were considering a merge...would it happen would it not, would it mean a move to Durban or not...then the merge happened and no one was happy and lots of problems and then there was the "do we stop merge now or not" and then they couldn't and there was drama and stuff. Directors keep reaching deadlock situations, they cannot agree on anything. My hubby and his brother forced to work under a domineering CEO (Hired CEO) who has to know every single little detail and almost demoted them in responsibilities because he cannot delegate or trust them. Then went and cut their salaries by 60%...it has just been a mess. Such a freaking mess.

I guess Australia offers the prospect of being able to settle down and live a more stable life. Above and beyond the reasons for a move off the African continent...also personally the prospect of things finally settling down. Even though immigration is huge...just anywhere to please just settle.

So I guess when we went on our trip to Aus in September...I had in front of me the life we could live in all its realms. I guess my soul is so sick of limbo that it totally absorbed and relished that country and what it could offer us.

And now we are "home" and we are back into the limbo and uncertainties. The useless meetings that never come to anything, the concerns that are ignored and so it goes on.

So perhaps that is why I am struggling so much to adapt to being back after such a short time in Australia.

Anyways...we are hoping that we will know our direction and timelines by the Middle to end of October. It really should be sooner rather than later...but these people my poor husband has to deal with don't seem to have consideration for others.

There are two possibilities at this stage:

1. The company offers my husband the package he has requested to direct the project to merge the two sites of the factories into one in probably Durban. This would mean we would leave earliest end of next year. And the possibility is there that I would have to go ahead of my husband with the kids to have my daughter start school (she would be starting a year behind as it is). His package he has requested if accepted would make it worth it to stay a bit longer and save up some rands.

2. The company declines to offer him the package. He will finish his work as site manager at the factory at the end of October and we will plan to leave for Australia end of January 2014.

And so we wait...again...

Please make this month pass quickly...I need some direction in my life seriously.

TFR if you got this far lol

[McCabes]

thoughts and prayers are with you both B, both situations offer pros and cons, must be so hard on you!

Why can't they get rid of the hired CEO??? sounds like he's just making a mess of things?

(((hugs))) chicky - hang in there, I hope this month flies past for you and you have an answer soon, either way.

[Toitjie]

I hope these months go by quickly for you guys, and that it all works out in the end. On the one hand, a bad work situation is unbearable but on the other, it makes it easier to cut the cord, in a sense. That CEO sounds like an idiot for treating his people like that. Not the way to nurture loyalty.

Anyway...hugs, and hang in there. Emotionally it does take a toll and the last months are not getting any easier.

[BriD]

It has been a long time since I wrote anything much...we are in such a terrible state of limbo.

We went on our LSD/Activation trip in September and I loved it. The only thing that is holding us back is my husband's work / family company. He is actually unemployed now...since the end of Oct...and he is waiting for a final decision to be made about whether he will assist the company in a project management role next year or not. They have really been messing him around and in my mind I think this is just a sign of what it could be like working with them on this project. I think he should walk away. However, I want him to be happy and feel like he is properly ready to walk away....I cannot and will not force that.

BUT...if he does not take the project...he wants to leave End Jan / Beg Feb 2014. Fair enough, pretty good time to arrive I think. The only MAJOR issue is the planning required to get to the point of being physically able to leave then (house sold, containers etc). The thing is that we cannot continue going month to month on savings here endlessly...we need to make a decision and fast.

He is going to have a meeting tomorrow with the directors...please everybody that can say a prayer...please pray for some resolution to this limbo...a decision any decision would be good at this point. I feel like I am going off my rocker wondering what on earth the future holds for us. Cannot make decisions on Nursery schools (my eldest supposed to be moving from playgroup to Grade 00 next year if we stay in South Africa) until I know what we are doing!!!!!

Sorry for venting...ag no...actually...this is my journal...guess it is the best place to vent. I just hope these people stop messing my hubby around...they really playing on the ingrown loyalty to his family business...(which has merged with another company).

What do I want?...I just want to step onto a road to somewhere if that makes sense. I really would like us to get on with the immigration thing and start our new lives in Australia...despite the heartache of leaving loved ones behind...the anxiety and limbo is so terrible right now

I want my daughter to start her schooling in Australia. I want to be able to settle down and work hard at starting a new life for us there.

In the meantime, we have been trying to sell our farm since Feb...lots of interest but the banks not giving loans for properties over 5 hectares. We have some work to do on our house before we put it on the market...need to ear mark what we will sell and what we will take.

Is there a cave anywhere I can hide????

Ok...done with my vent now.

So...right now. Like literally right now...I am going to choose a room and start sorting it out. Cos it has to be done sometime. And it will mean I am progressing towards something.

Thanks for listening peeps...sorry I have been so quiet...love and strength to you all

[AlBrough]

Feel free to vent. Talking helps you to get perspective and advice. You have come so far that to give up now is not an option. Make the leap if you can and start afresh. Best of luck with his meeting.

[ronfire]

No place to vent like your own journal! You've handled life really well to this point. Hang in there, you'll get through and things'll get better.

Hope your husband's meeting goes well and you can make a decision.

[McCabes]

Hang in there B!!!

I really hope a firm decision is made today - and I hope it is one that will mean you can go next year in Jan/Feb.

Think you are doing really well and it's a good idea to start sorting/chucking etc. Also good to keep busy while you wait for the meeting to be over.

Praying for you and C. Will be thinking of you today.

Hugs! Let us know how it goes - hope it's a positive outcome!

[BriD]

Thanks guys...your support means a lot.

Meeting happened...directors are discussing things amongst themselves now...they will give an answer as to whether they will pay him what he wants or rather look elsewhere...but that answer only end of the weekend (if they even stick to that)...and so we wait...

[Marilise]

You and your hubby are in our prayers.

[McCabes]

Thinking of you B - I'm sorry it wasn't the definite answer you were hoping for, but I think it's a step in the right direction -and all those steps will add up at some point - hope that point is SOOOON!!!

[BriD]

Sooo...we are all systems go to leave on the 29th January 2014, we made the final decision on Tuesday. I realise this is horrendously short notice for us...not to mention the 3 weeks of that time that we will be away on holiday ...but hopefully we will be able to get everything done. And fortunately if we do not end up selling everything up in time we have family who can be the power of attorney to deal with that...and they are willing.

So far I have:

- Scheduled an Appointment with Execumove. They will come on Wednesday to see what all we want to take and will quote based on that. I was very impressed with their service so far. Most helpful informative people I have ever come into contact with...figures...just as we plan to leave this country that is full of pathetic service. Ironic I guess.

- Asked IOM for a quote and a travel agency to compare prices. IOM definitely the cheaper option by far...with the extra baggage as well...worth while!

- I gave our domestic worker notice. It was so sad...very difficult to do. She is a real keeper and so trustworthy. I had warned her a while back of this possibility and I think it was good in our case. She knew it was coming. We basically said she can finish on the 13 Dec. She will get her Dec pay and a 13th pay check for Christmas and then we will regard January as her notice month and her last paycheck will go through end Jan, but she won't be required to work during that time. Giving her time to look for a new job. I felt all shakey after talking to her...was sad I will do my best to assist her finding a new job while we still here.

- We took our dogs to the vet for a "full service". Tommorrow we leave to take them to Durban to live with my parents. Another sad goodbye on the cards....but thrilled that I know they will have a good home and will still see them when we visit.

While we were at the vet a couple arrived in tears...their 2 dogs had been poisoned...I was so heartsore for them...and I could feel the fury and bitterness just flood my body...this move is really better in terms of that as well. I don't want to change into a bitter miserable person because of these kinds of things.

Think we will be finalising our flight within the next week or so...so that will be a biggie!!

Now to sort sort sort and try and get rid of junk and reallocate things we are not taking. That will be the most time consuming.

In the meantime hubby is working his way through a long list of Manufacturing companies in South East Melbourne (we found it on a website for the "South East Melbourne Manufacturing Association" ) It seems that going directly to the companies makes a bigger difference. He has received more replies from that than seek ever did. We not holding out too much hope we can secure any jobs before we get there, but we gonna try our darndest.

I feel like we have done a lot in 4 short days. So here's to the next 2 months...if we keep our potential date of the 29th Jan...we have exactly 2 months to go...!!!

[BriD]

What an emotional weekend...

We took our dogs down to Durban, they will be living with my mom and dad there now. I could not have hoped for a better "settling" in experience for them. They jumped out, met the resident doggie and after half an hour of sniffing and checking each other out...they were off bounding round the garden playing and having a ball. I was so happy to see them so at home. I know they will be happy there.

But what I was not prepared for was the sadness that hit me when I got home. The garden seemed so empty without them. They really are amazing dogs, friendly...loving, so good with the kids even though they were so big. I miss them so much already. Last night I got up to let them in about 3 or 4 times forgetting they were not there anymore. Feels like a void

Now I still have the cats....1 of them is very old and I will need to put her down. The other 2 are still in the prime of their lives....so I really want to find a good home for them. I asked my dad...but he is not so happy about that. He is still thinking about it. My cats are my babies...I have always been a cat person, and they literally all follow me around everywhere. So if saying goodbye to the dogs wasn't bad enough...the cats will be worse

Guess this is all part and parcel of the huge adventure of immigration.

Today at 10am Peter from Execumove is coming to see what we want to take and will give us a quote based on the size of container we will need.

I found a lovely furnished place to rent in Ashwood in the South-East of Melbourne. So we will still there till the end of February. Hopefully that will give us enough time to look for a rental and hopefully to make some headway in the job market.

I have a burgeoning home baking business here...only just starting out...but hoping that I can do that in Aus too when we there. Maybe help bring in a few Aussie Dollars while hubby is job searching.

He has been busy sending CV's and redoing his CV again after looking at a couple of Aussie example cv's from friends. We know the chances are slim of finding a job from here...but we doing our best anyways. Who knows.

Anyways...I have 65 cupcakes to ice...better get cracking.

Onwards and upwards...