MarkSalter Posted March 13, 2013 Report Share Posted March 13, 2013 This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizensubmitted to Walmart in Arkansas.They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!NAME: George MartinSEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least onethat will cooperate)DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't beapplying here in the first place.DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitzstyle severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we canhaggle.EDUCATION: Yes.LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens andpost-it notes.REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a moreintimate environment.MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTINGUP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be"Do you have a car that runs?"HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be awinner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamaswith a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatestthing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.NEAREST RELATIVE....7 milesDO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOURKNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.***Old People Rock! *** 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadEnoughofJuju Posted March 13, 2013 Report Share Posted March 13, 2013 I love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacoO Posted March 13, 2013 Report Share Posted March 13, 2013 I am still laughing my bum off!! this was funny! needed a little pick-me-up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sianvz Posted March 13, 2013 Report Share Posted March 13, 2013 Hilarious!We got a CV in the other day where the applicant gave star ratings for things she enjoys doing. She put 8 stars next to smoking, 6 next to drinking, 5 next to music etc etc. Now that's a way to impress a prospective employer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bams Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 Just love people with a sense of humor, it often goes unnoticed... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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