Dogs and cats - especially for Mara

[OubaasDik]

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite

thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite

thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite

thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

4:00 PM - Got to play with Sissy!! My

favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite

thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My

favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite

thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre

little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the

other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of

dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the

rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat

something in order to keep up my strength. The

only thing that keeps me going is my dream of

escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again

vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its

headless body at their feet. I had hoped this

would strike fear into their hearts, since it

clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.

However, they merely made condescending comments

about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their

accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary

confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the

food. I overheard that my confinement was due

to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what

this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to

assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving

around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the

stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are

flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is

regularly released - and seems to be more than

willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

[AnnieL]

Ha ha ha.... Could be my pets!

[HadEnoughofJuju]

ROTFLOL

[Mara]

Mmmm, LOL, thanks for that, it is absolutely priceless and oh so true!

We had two purebred Balinese (long haired Siamese) cats, unfortunately we lost the boy three years ago to leaukemia. We tried to get a new cat as a companion to Lucy, our female, who at that time was 9 years old. Well.... talk about bad language, we tried a kitten, tried an adult male, we tried an adult female, we tried two kittens, we tried an old male rescue cat, BUT Lucy's language just became worse. Anybody that knows Siamese cats, will know what I mean. In the end we gave up, we are now a single cat home and Lucy rules supreme. Only problem is, with Babski no longer there, we have now become her playmates as well as her servants, and I have never heard anyone complain so much if you deviate from her routine!

[Lynnie]

:ilikeit:

Wat is die saying:

"Dogs have Masters, but Cats have Staff"

[Mara]

Absolutely Lynnie, I definitely speak from experience!

[Lyn]

Lucy must be beautiful Mara - Ive always loved my Siamese - we have two 3,5 year old pure bred seal points. Could not imagine living without cats - I have no problem with being their staff.

[Mara]

Here is a picture, of the two of them, it is Lucy on the left (blue point) and Babski on the right (chocolate point). The do both have blue eyes, it is just the way the light caught them. I guess they think they are the biggest angels!

[Lynnie]

Hulle is SO Stunning!!!

[Mara]

Thank you Lynnie, I think so too!

[AndreaL]

Some quotes re cats for OBD.

"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve the man but deteriorate the cat." -Mark Twain

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -Robert A. Heinlein

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." -Bruce Graham

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." -Dave Platt

"One cat just leads to another." -Ernest Hemingway

Cat Commandments

Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.

Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

Thou shalt not knock over every lamp in the house chasing a moth.

Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou art not transparent.

Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.

Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 AM

Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

http://cheezburger.com/6565216768

No Heaven will not ever Heaven be: Unless my cats are there to welcome me.

Edited February 2, 2013 by AndreaL

[HadEnoughofJuju]

@AndeaL, Love it.

[Mara]

Fantastic AndreaL, thank you for sharing.

[OubaasDik]

Some quotes re cats for OBD.

"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve the man but deteriorate the cat." -Mark Twain

Mark Twain was prone to say provocative things as his station as Samuel Clements, author of Huckleberry Finn entitled him. (Commentary on slavery and race relations)

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -Robert A. Heinlein

I take this to mean that if you want to get laid and carry on being laid, relax and go with the flow - the cats are incidental and make him look wise. They also allow him to write stories about someone who is 1,000 years old who bonks his mother and his sisters - good story, though (Time enough for love)

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." -Bruce Graham

Disgusting beasts stay off my keytboard.

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." -Dave Platt

Programming came along at the time when they NEEDED OCD and schizophrenics and such - they make EXCELLENT programmers - problem being the egotistical jerks. The usual lot these days wouldn't be entitled to kiss my first boss's bum (technically) - and I disliked him intensely.

So I can agree that cats and prgrammers have some things in common.

"One cat just leads to another." -Ernest Hemingway

Yes, well read about Hemingway ..... a drunkard and a braggart

Cat Commandments

Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.

Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

Thou shalt not knock over every lamp in the house chasing a moth.

Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou art not transparent.

Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.

Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 AM

Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

So no cats go to heaven then? They don't even have the saving grace of being pleasant.

| No Heaven will not ever Heaven be: Unless my cats are there to welcome me.

All they'll say is "about time - the kitty litter boxes are overflowing - why didn't you get here sooner - you could have jumped under a train ...."

Good enough for his PERSONAL heaven - better not let them start attacking MY personal heavenly songbirds, or it's going to be a war in heaven ......

[AndreaL]

When is your birthday OBD......I want to send you a cute little demon fur baby. You soooo need a cat in your life.

[OubaasDik]

Actually I do quite like them (slightly), but I'm allergic. I have no illusions that they actually love people, though.

Gimme a varkhond, just like in my avatar.

Edited February 3, 2013 by OubaasDik

[AndreaL]

OBD, I had a cat that went missing when we moved to Namibia, he had been a feral and it took me several weeks to entice him into my house in South Africa and months before he would come out of my clothes cupboard ( only at night) and sit with me or beside me. He only ever came to me, no one else and was a very frightened cat.

6 months after he ( Tigger) disappeared in Namibia I was nodding off on the sofa one night with the lights off and saw a shadow come through the dining room window.....I knew it was a cat but thought it had come to attack my other cat. It went into my daughters room, so I crept after it and was going to give it the fright of its life.

I could see the cat in the dark, but it didn't run away as would a visiting cat. I bent down and stroked it and noticed that it had a kink in its tail about an inch from the end....Tigger had a broken tail that was kinked one inch from the end.

I almost stopped breathing and turned on the light.....it looked like Tigger but skinnier.... It couldn't be....there was only one way to tell for sure.

Tigger had had his foot run over by a car and had lost one of his toes...I looked, and this cat was missing a toe.....then I yelled and woke hubby up.

I cooked the chicken fillet that was for hubby's sandwiches the next day and fed them to this starving scrawny cat.

I don't know where he had been, we could only speculate, but during his 6 months away he had broken his front left leg and it had healed badly and crookedly, so he was left with 3 legs to walk on. During the next few days we noticed him catching and eating flies.....My best guess is that he had wandered off into the desert and lived off what he could find....remember this cat was the most fearful cat I have ever met and would only come to me other than hiding in my cupboard.

Tigger fattened up and stayed with us until we were coming to Australia. I could not rehome him as apart from there not being many cat lovers in the small town of around 2000 in which I lived, he had a lot of issues and fears, so I had him put to sleep.

I took him to the vet and held him while my vet friend injected him, he was very calm and I kissed him and held him gently until his heart stopped beating. Tigger was part of my life for 5 years.

Tigger survived successfully in the desert for 6 months, I like to think that he came back because he loved me.. I loved him.

( and if you are not bawling your eyes out over your cappuccino OBD, you have no heart )

Here are some cats that are less hypoallergenic OBD, personally I think you would suit a Sphynx.......you could both practise your inscrutable look . http://www.catster.com/cat-breeds/hypoallergenic-cat-breeds

Edited February 3, 2013 by AndreaL

[Tsunabi]

I know your post was for obd but now I am lying here crying my eyes out!!

[AndreaL]

So sorry, Tsunabi. I've had a lot of abused, abandoned and sick cats in my life and if I can just give them a brief taste of what life should be for them, I feel as if I have done right by them and been blessed by their presence.

This is going to sound a bit new age freaky, but sometimes when I am lying in bed at night I swear I feel the gentle pressure of a cat or cats climbing on the bed and lying next to me.

I would love to think that my girls and boys still feel the need to be with me even though they are in kitty heaven.

[Mara]

Read your posting AndreaL and cried out loud, for the first time in many months! I agree with you though, allowing a cat a little taste of heaven is always worth it.

[Kapoen]

AndreaL Had a good crying jag just now, I am actually a dog person but I do have one 13 year old curmudgeonly old "pavement special" cat that I rescued from a storm water drain. She rules this house with an iron paw. All the dogs bow down to her superiority she has even trained our domestic help, who's daily routine starts with a plea to the cat to be patient as the food is coming.....

I had to put my faithful and much loved old bull terrier to sleep not so long ago.(cancer) and I am definitely not looking forward to making that same trip with Poepies (story for another day) when the time comes.

[Sunnyskies]

AndreaL, generally I'm not crying when everyone else on the site is (hardass that I am, LoL) but you definitely made me water up. I think it was more the end of Tigger's life that made me emotional than his dedication to coming home. Each one of us that has had to made hard decisions about our animals whether when leaving or before will feel for you. My husband was so upset about us leaving our dogs behind (they were rehomed - we couldn't bring them as they were already old and we couldn't bring ourselves to put them through quarantine) that he refused to consider us getting another animal until we had our PR, which took close to 3 years after arriving.

[OubaasDik]

What can I say?

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[Mara]

You would never know, they would catch you unawares, sneaky little characters, that they are! Love them anyway!

[Caz]

We too are following the plan of obtaining PR before getting some pets. I can't wait!