HadEnoughofJuju Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 (edited) So the saga continues, the only people left in our lives that didn't know we planning on emigrating now know. I will not go into too much detail here because if I did I would need a year and about 1000 pages to tell the whole story but in short, because of my brother-in-laws wedding yesterday we chose not to tell my wife's parents until today because we didn't want to spoil their day. We arranged for the family to come to our house today for lunch, the day after the wedding so that we could break the news, fully expecting a huge nuclear fallout because we kept it from them for so long and in affect they were the last ones (besides my wife's brother and her uncle) to find out about our plans. When we actually got around to telling them we were met with a completely, unexpected yet very pleasant reaction. Sure there were tears and sadness but we actually have their support and seemingly their blessings to. There are going to be tough days ahead when the reality really starts to set in but for now our status of secret agent has been revoked and everyone that counts that needs to know, knows. A huge thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged us, especially my wife (OYBR) through this time. Edited November 18, 2012 by HadEnoughofJuju 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tisha Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 We are so glad so glad all went well! What a huge burden to be lifted from your shoulders 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alida Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 Aaaah, what a wonderful relief for you ! Blessings and joy for you on your journey ahead ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbieschutte Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 I'm so glad everything went well - we told everyone right from the start and from the start had their support. It makes it so much easier..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllisonW Posted November 18, 2012 Report Share Posted November 18, 2012 It must be such a relief to you. We found some negativity but mostly sad resignation. I think it's becoming clearer how bad things are and only the ridiculous try to argue that you can have a good life in Africa. It must be a relief to have it done. Another thing to check off the list. :-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GideonVD Posted November 19, 2012 Report Share Posted November 19, 2012 Bly dit het uitgewerk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OubaasDik Posted November 19, 2012 Report Share Posted November 19, 2012 (edited) Yep, well.To be honest, anyone who thinks you're running away or a traitor or being nasty by depriving them of their grandchildren, basically isn't following the news or has their heads up their ar*es like the Homecoming Revultion crowd.I suppose one can cut slack for older relatives - great grandmothers and such, but ....Sadness is allowable, attempts to coerce you back aren't.And to be clear, nothing you said made me think anyone was trying to coerce you to stay. Edited November 19, 2012 by OubaasDik 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Boys & Mommy Posted November 19, 2012 Report Share Posted November 19, 2012 Good for you!I must say our experience was also pretty happy all round.The strangest thing though, a lot of our friends that were very happy for us, has suddenly just pulled away. One couple has even gone as far as cutting all ties with us. Nothing we can do about that I guess.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadEnoughofJuju Posted November 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2012 It was a bit of an anti climax, expecting the worst because that's how history has worked and ending up being blown away by the reaction, so much so that I could not speak without chocking up. Thanks everyone for the kind words and encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynnie Posted November 22, 2012 Report Share Posted November 22, 2012 Baie sterkte, nou is daar 'n las van jou skouers af Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurenc Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 We have had mixed responses, but in general have found that those who were the most negative about us immigrating were the ones who were jealous. Some of them have come up to us and eventually mouthed the words 'Ja, I'm actually just a little bit jealous, because we have always wanted to do it.' This was only after we were being told that we were going to join the convicts or sheep shaggers. Others have made statements like: 'Oh, if my husband doesn't find a job soon, then yes we will probably also go over to Aus' or 'Ja, if we didn't have our own business we would also go'. But one of the things that frustrates me the most is that these Saffas who are our friends and family members just assume that you show your S.A passport and the Aussie government welcomes you with open arms.Even my in-laws thought that the whole visa process was free. Very few people have stopped to ask us how much this big move is going to cost us with neither one of us having a job in Aus and having a baby that will need to be in day care. We have been jokingly accused of 'f-ing off to Aus' by my in-laws and by other family members for 'stealing' or taking their only great grandchild away from them. It is only recently that we have come to realise that for the grandparents and great grandparents, their loss will be immense. Some of them are too old to fly or don't have the funds to come and visit us. All along we were focusing on ourselves and trying to ignore the negative comments, but lately we have come to realise that immigrating is about the whole family and the extended family, about those who we leave behind.Our tickets are bought, our house was packed up today, and we leave on the 2nd of Feb for Brisbane. We have always responded positively to all of the comments and tried our best not to say negative things about S.A. This has paid off as our family and friends no longer feel like we think we are better than them and have come to accept our decision to be the first settlers in our family. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansaPlease Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 We have always responded positively to all of the comments and tried our best not to say negative things about S.A. This has paid off as our family and friends no longer feel like we think we are better than them and have come to accept our decision to be the first settlers in our family.This is the key isn't it? I always find that when I go back for a holiday and am asked by friends, family or even strangers how Aus compares to SA or how I'm enjoying it, I want to say "it's fantastic, I feel so free, get your butt out of this dump and come over and see how the first world lives..." But instead I find myself saying: "yes, it's good, and there is less crime but it's not South Africa, I do miss certain things..." Which is partially true.A too honest approach just alienates them. The ones who have had enough of SA usually approach me later on the sly to ask for honest opinions and advice on how to make the move. The blind ones just accept what I've said, make fun of me for being a sheep shagger and carry on living in their bubble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claudiodr Posted January 19, 2013 Report Share Posted January 19, 2013 Good for you man!We've done it twice now, when we left SA for UK 6 yrs ago it was a mixed bag. Some hyper-patriotic friends and family made us feel like traitors and said we were contributing to the brain drain...this after my brother was told outright at an interview a few months earlier that they like him but he was unfortunately the wrong skin colour! The true friends were very supportive and after 6 yrs we still maintain very strong friendships.This time around has been tougher, both my brothers, their wives and my nephew are here in UK and we've become a very tight family unit, not to mention my folks moved to Portugal a couple of years ago to be closer to the kids:-(Sadly, at the end of the day you cannot live for others. the Homecoming Revultion crowd. LOL! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bams Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 Think this is one of the biggies that I am dreading. We have the only grandchild on both sides of the family, so can just imagine the comments we are going to get. But in the end my daughter is a HUGE part of our reason to move. Only those of our friends who have moved or are also in the process knows, so at least have someone to talk too.Will wait till all is confirmed and only then spill the beans... Hope we will also get positivity and blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadEnoughofJuju Posted January 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 @BamsWe got the complete opposite reactions to what we were expecting. I guess you will never be able to predict exactly what your family will say or do and I sincerely hope for your part that you do get their blessings and support. Just remember that you will more than likely have a better life that side financially than you did here and will probably be able to afford to fly your family over every now and then for a visit and there is always Skype and apparently some really great Telstra and Optus deals that let you make international calls really cheaply.What ever you do just keep on holding onto your reasons for doing this in the first place and don't make any emotional decisions (I know they are the hardest to ignore) that you may end up regretting in the future. Also remember that you don't need to defend yourself for having made this decision, it's for the best of your family, people may not like it but they have to respect it, also bear in mind that they have a right to grieve their "loss" so to speak, just be there for them it does get easier as time goes on. Good luck for when you do get to finally telling the family and I hope it all goes off smoothly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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