OnYellowBrickRd Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 1. You produce a R100 note instead of your driver’slicense when stopped by a traffic officer2. You can do your monthly shopping on thepavement3. You have to hire a security guard whenever youpark your car4. You can count the national soccer teams scoreswith no fingers5. To get free electricity you have to pay aconnection fee of R7506. Hijacking cars is a profession7. Defecating in a garden can win you R1-million8. You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a signat a traffic light9. The petrol in your tank may be worth more thanyour car10. More people vote in a local reality TV show thanin a local election11. People have the most wonderful names: Christmas,Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift,Precious, Innocence, Samsung and Airtime.12. “Now now” can mean anything from a minute to a month!13. You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned togreen to make way for taxis travelling in the oppositedirection.14. Travelling at 120 km/h you’re the slowest vehicle on thehighway15. You’re genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever youfind your car parked where you left it.16. A bullet train is being introduced but we can’t fixpotholes17. The last time you visited the coast you paid more inspeeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entireholiday18. You paint your cars registration on the roof19. Half your mail is guaranteed to reach its destination20. You have to take your own linen with you if you areadmitted to a government hospital21. You dial a toll free number and nobody answers22. You have to prove that you don’t need a loan to get one23. Prisoners go on strike.24. You don’t stop at a red traffic light, in case somebodyhijacks your car.25. You consider it a good month if you only get muggedonce.26. Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because thecrime rate is too high.27. When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are separated by a Xhosaannouncement of the following Afrikaans program, and aPedi ad.28. The employees DANCE in front of the building to showhow unhappy they are.29. The SABC advertises and shows highlights of theprogram you just finished viewing.30. You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsiusis Arctic weather.31. You call a bathing suit a “swimming costume”.32. You stop at robots, not traffic lights.33. You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you’ve never hadany.34. You can sing your national anthem in four languages, andyou have no idea what it means in any of them.35. You know someone who knows someone who has metNelson Mandela.36. You go to “braais” (barbecues) regularly, where you eatboerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim,sometimes simultaneously.37. You have a gear lock for your car.38. You’ve never seen snow in real life.39. You know that there’s nothing to do in the Free State. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadEnoughofJuju Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacoO Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 Bad Customer Service is a national sport 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynnie Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 :ilikeit: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 Now this I get!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OubaasDik Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 For number 11, we had a maid / helper / house worker in the 60's who rejoiced in the name of Ignorance ..... Emphasis on the second syllable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadEnoughofJuju Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 When the definition of a split second is the the time that it takes between the robot changing green and the taxi behind you hooting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion25 Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 no38. Unless of course you live/lived in Newcastle KZN, then you got this opportunity every 10 years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat B Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 11. Best name I've come across so far: "Fast Forward". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion25 Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 11. We came across a guy called One Rand. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacques Voogt Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 America has a 50c 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bronwyn&Co Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 I knew an 'Icecream' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donovan83 Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 You know you're a South African when you go to the bank and the "service consultant" is so stupid that they sit listening to the fax machine send/acknowledgement tone for about 5 minutes when they've dialled the wrong number before realising it is a FRICKEN FAX MACHINE TONE. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynnie Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 America has a 50cLMGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacoO Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 I don't think it is possible to top this one... (really hope it is not fake)TRULY South African 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toitjie Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 After our conclusion of our last metro police intake project, I wrote down all the funny names as I came across them (this is from a database of 60 000 applications). Sometimes I worked very late into the night, and I was laughing so hard I was afraid that I woke the kids....ActionAdviceAgreementAmenAssegaiAtholAnswerAdvanceAdvocateAloneAmericaAvoidBasementBigboyBrainBob MartinBreezeBruceleeCanonCerealChickenChocolateClearanceClimateCombineComent No-CryCometCoolcatCoolioCrosswordCryCuthbertsDankieDecisionDifferenceDirectorElvis CryEnergyEnterErensFightFlashlightFranceGeniet EnjoyGeweerGoodenoughGospelGriffelsHelperHideHoringIsolateJellyJobJohnwalkerJusticeJyKaalkopKingdomKing LancelotLastbornLaundryLearnersLettersLieutenantLifeLiverLove-AgainLoveboyLovermanLucky SundayMachine SearchMagnificentMy Son DonaldNo-matterObviousOrphanPardonPeacemakerPelicanPermissionPikininiPilotPimpiPotlakiPraisegodProsperProvisionQuestionReadyRememberRemindRhymeRiche ManScremerServiceShakespearSheelbooi SoccerSoldierSprinkanStadig PietStrangerSupermanSurgeonSweetnameSympatheticSympathyTaaibosTreasureTronicsTruckVeryniceVisWashingtonWatermondWealthWitnessYoghurt 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion25 Posted September 25, 2012 Report Share Posted September 25, 2012 was chatting to my mom last nighta nd one of there staff is called Matric Exemption. So glad I gave my kids "normal" names. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AAAZR Posted September 26, 2012 Report Share Posted September 26, 2012 I knew a girl, Beauty Queen that went to school with me .. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadEnoughofJuju Posted September 26, 2012 Report Share Posted September 26, 2012 Indicators are for showing what you've just done not what you are about to do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion25 Posted September 26, 2012 Report Share Posted September 26, 2012 I think most people think indicators are part of the optional extras one buys when buying a car, so never use them as they figure they don't work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnYellowBrickRd Posted September 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2012 You guys have the indicator thing all wrong! Indicators are there to allow one to break whichever road rule one feels should not apply to one at any given time, e.g.*When there is a traffic jam, switching on hazard lights permits one to drive in the emergency lane so that one can get wherever one wants to, preventing emergency vehicles from getting access to the accident scene.*When one wants to drop someone off or pick someone up, one uses hazard lights to stop on a corner or across a street entrance, preventing any traffic from entering or leaving a street.*When one is special (any person in government) hazard lights permits one to fly down the highways at over 160km per hour.*When one wants to do anything normally deemed illegal on the roads one will be excused if one uses hazard lights.And please remember that putting on one's hazards when one's vehicle is stationary drains the battery and should be avoided at all costs...especially at night on a highway or dimly lit road! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bronwyn&Co Posted September 26, 2012 Report Share Posted September 26, 2012 After our conclusion of our last metro police intake project, I wrote down all the funny names as I came across them (this is from a database of 60 000 applications). Sometimes I worked very late into the night, and I was laughing so hard I was afraid that I woke the kids....ActionAdviceAgreementAmenAssegaiAtholAnswerAdvanceAdvocateAloneAmericaAvoidBasementBigboyBrainBob MartinBreezeBruceleeCanonCerealChickenChocolateClearanceClimateCombineComent No-CryCometCoolcatCoolioCrosswordCryCuthbertsDankieDecisionDifferenceDirectorElvis CryEnergyEnterErensFightFlashlightFranceGeniet EnjoyGeweerGoodenoughGospelGriffelsHelperHideHoringIsolateJellyJobJohnwalkerJusticeJyKaalkopKingdomKing LancelotLastbornLaundryLearnersLettersLieutenantLifeLiverLove-AgainLoveboyLovermanLucky SundayMachine SearchMagnificentMy Son DonaldNo-matterObviousOrphanPardonPeacemakerPelicanPermissionPikininiPilotPimpiPotlakiPraisegodProsperProvisionQuestionReadyRememberRemindRhymeRiche ManScremerServiceShakespearSheelbooi SoccerSoldierSprinkanStadig PietStrangerSupermanSurgeonSweetnameSympatheticSympathyTaaibosTreasureTronicsTruckVeryniceVisWashingtonWatermondWealthWitnessYoghurtToitjie these are amazing!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcK Posted September 26, 2012 Report Share Posted September 26, 2012 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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