The W's have arrived in melbourne...

[Alida]

Wow Allison, what a pleasure to read your updates ! I've been worrying about myself, how am I going to handle everything while having 3 little ones looking to me for care / support / assurance ? I'm learning from you, so keep going !

[Bronwyn&Co]

Hi Allison - I'm not sure whether your school has Vacation Care? I know you are still spending Rands, but I think a portion of the cost will be covered by Centrelink. The Vacation Care is usually great fun as they plan outings. It might give you a breather too you can book for a couple of days a week only, if you want to.

[blondiejhb]

Well done. You are doing really well. We have been here for 3 days now and it still feels like we are on holiday but I'm sure reality will set in soon. Keep doing what you're doing and enjoy.

[AllisonW]

Hi all, thanks for the positive comments.

Bronwyn thanks for the advice, i did look at vacation care and they do offer it through camp australia. I should have followed up but got distracted. I have found now that we are going to the park and the library they are doing better. Also the local community or neighbourhood houses are worth checking out and i want to visit them as soon as we have moved in. The one close to us has play groups, music sessions and cooking sessions and they are about $5 a session so that is really reasonable.

Blondie welcome, where are you situated? After nearly 3 weeks i still feel a bit like we are on holiday but i think it will be over when we move into our house. And how i long for my container! Come on ship!

Otherwise i went to the Frankston market this morning. It was very cold but lots of fun. I bought lots of organic veggies from the stalls at a very reasonable price and the kids were fascinated because they found snails on the spinach! lol! then the best was the huge tables of second hand clothing. Yes, i thought my husband would die!! But please they had beautiful pumpkin patch dresses for 50c, which is like naartjie in SA. As the rest of the town seemed to be happily wading through them i proceeded to buy 8 for $4. I was very pleased with myself. i promise that i will wash them twice.

[Fish]

Really impressed with your updates Allison...welcome to Australia !!!

[deroche]

Thanks for the updates.

[Robyn L]

Welcome to Melbourne Allison! It's been so lovely reading your updates

[RAD]

Great post Alison...I totally agree with you re couples coming over....it becomes very easy with all the stress to start arguing/fighting over the simplest of things simply because the couple are the only two adults in the new environment that they are comfortable with...no siblings and best friends to just sommer call up to vent...so yes you give very wise words to couples indeed.

Often we forget that it is not always la di dah grand gestures that keep relationships working but the little things through stressful times that show one considers the other ones feelings....so you guys are a good example.

Keep posting

[miraclebabycaw]

Loved the update on the 2nd hand clothing. I think it's a peculiarity to South Africans that they "cringe" (for want of a better word) at second hand clothing. You just have to look at ebay in the US and the thrift shops all over Europe to realise that it's pretty much only us that seem to have an "issue" with second hand clothes. I've tried selling my kids clothes as they grow on bidorbuy and am always lucky if they fetch about R200..and that is a whole seasons worth of clothes still virtually brand new as they grow so quickly. It's just about impossible to sell adults clothes second hand .. unless it's to the maids friends or something, and then they want cheap stuff and are not really interested that you bought this dress for R300 and wore it once. Overseas LOADS of people shop in thrift shops and get great clothes at great prices.

[rozellem]

Alison and other newbies, you just have to go to these markets. Go on and find one near you. Its held on Sundays, 9am start, $4 per adult, take your own bags and plenty of cash. It is mainly mums selling their used or often unused stuff. By the way, to have a stall at a market, cost $50, plus you could share a stall with a couple of friends. I am so doing it if I still have anything baby left. I sometimes only go to buy books, most of our toys come from there, prams, cots, change tables, high chairs, clothes, etc. You can even bargain within reason.

http://babykidsmarket.com.au/markets/mrktbkw2.php?job=ww&s=v

[Baobab]

Allison

I am also finally here in cheltenham. Friends from the gold coast are coming to visit me this weekend - so much looking forward!

Next week Tuesday I am going to La trobe uni for a workshop - they are going to employ me on a casual basis - a bit far i know but at least a start!

i also have a very dear friend in highett who is taking me places and showing me new things - a lot to absorb!

We can meet up some day next week if you like? PM me

Retha

[mcbear]

Hi Allison

I hope all is still going well and that the kids enjoy school today. It looks like you may be going to the same school as us?

Let me know if you need any help.

[KarlBarnard]

Hi Allison,

Congrats with the move. Exciting times!

If everything goes according to plan we will also be in Melbourne by the end of August. It looks like an awesome community out there!

Please keep us posted as you comments make for an exciting read.

[AllisonW]

Hi all,

Sorry for the non response. I have been caught up in the move. Baobab, Cheltenham is literally up the road from me so i am very keen to get together. Please PM me your number and i will call you and make a date and time. Mcbear, i have got your number from Sibella and will call you to chat and to get together for coffee. My son started at Aspendale primary yesterday. He is grade 3, Mr Pearce's class. He loved his first day at school. I think that he was really missing interacting with other kids. I think in retrospect that i should have only moved when the school was open. I thought that moving when the schools were closed would give the kids a great break and allow them to adjust but instead i think it added to their stress in that they were more isolated and going back to school seems to have helped normalise things.

So i have lots of news, some good, just a teeny weeny bit bad!

First off we have moved into our rental home. Its a small humble three bedroomed house but i feel so much better. We are camping people! Mostly we are ok as i bought a fridge, washer and dryer new and the house came with a dishwasher. The rest is plastic chairs and outdoor furniture and card tables, which i got from a garage sale. The only thing i really long for is my magnificent king size bed. Clearly i am getting old but my back longs for bamboo seally what- what comfort! lol! The good news is that my ship is on its way and is confirmed to land in port on the 26th July. And as i said in jest to Jason, god help the pirate that even looks at it! I can see that i am going to have to sort some of my stuff, so the shed will be used. I will have a microwave, kettle, inflatable mattress and some kitchen stuff for other newbies to use when they arrive until their stuff comes so please all of you let me know. i will put it in a box in the shed and stick all the SA stickers that i bought in a patriotic fit of madness the week before i left!

The new school is really good. Gabriel started grade 3 yesterday. First off i want to say to parents out there dont stress about the level of work. Gabby was fine yesterday. i think there is a different focus. For example he was never known for having the best handwriting but yesterday the teacher was amazed at how well he wrote and i noticed that some of the assignments stuck up on the wall were really poorly written. But he had to do homework and instead of the huge amount of rote learning that he seemed to do in SA, like writing out spelling words etc he had to do an assignment about homelessness and unpack the meaning of words like empathy, government services and nation. So a little bit more thinking. Otherwise it was weird that i was not required to bring stationary. What will i do with myself now that i dont have to fight my way down the CNA aisle the day before school opens? He loved wearing track suits and runners and getting dressed in the morning was a breeze. I loved the school hours - 9am to 3:30pm. And the best part is that he is scheduled to go away to camp in a couple of weeks. Reminds me of my eastern cape childhood and going to hogsback. Funny in SA i would be worrying so much about safety. Here that doesnt even feature and i only have to stop Jason from scaring him with friday the 13th. camp placid style horror stories.

Ok, the tough news. Jason still has not found a job. Which has been tough. i guess the hardest part was that we didnt expect it to take this long. He is in IT and is really well skilled and well qualified. In JHB after working in the sector for almost 14 years he knew everyone and if he went for a job interview he would always come home and say "So and so was on the interview or part of the team, i used to work with him at ..." So i think that his rep was really good and he never struggled to get work. Also three weeks is long when you are unemployed but not so long when you are employed and just looking for something better. We found that it took three weeks to get his CV into the personnel mill if that makes sense. So he spend 3 weeks going to interviews with personnel agencies and very few actual companies. Finally this week things are looking up in that the agencies seem to be delivering and he has 4 company interviews this week. He had one yesterday and was called back for a second interview so we are holding thumbs. But he spends his life typing technical tests and reports and submitting. The lack of work thing stops you from really embracing the move in that it is a constant worry. We were lucky enough to come over with some savings but rands go really quickly and you find yourself not doing things and thinking - lets wait until we have money coming in until...... I am sharing this so that other people can prepare themselves. It may take longer then you think even if you are really skilled.

Otherwise my surprise is that i like laundry. Yes, who would have thought? I feel very martha stewart sorting my colours. I, the executive mom, am having a wonderful time cooking meals for my family, interacting with the kids and taking on some of the roles i would have scorned in SA. My next step is to venture out and meet my neighbours. Like a typical south african vrou the only thing stopping me is that i dont want to invite them into my empty home. crazy! But they seem very kind and when i came home yesterday one of them had very kindly moved my rubbish bins onto the curb as it was collection day and being my first week in i didnt know. One of the elderly ladies in the neighborhood starting chatting to Seth yesterday while he was playing in the front yard but due to my stranger danger indoctrination he ran as fast as he could into the house! She was probably so traumatised! Got to love SA kids! lol! The neighbourhood is really geared towards small kids and the parks are amazing. There is a large area nearby that has a netball club, a cricket, football club and scouts. Really want to enroll my kids in the scouts so that will happen soon. I must admit the rain gets me down a bit but yesterday was a lovely day and i was able to go into the garden and work a bit outside.

For all the men, Jason misses the rugby. He is trying to get into the AFL stuff but i can see he would die to watch a sharks match. So anyone here or on their way that watches rugby and will get up at an ungodly hour to do so please let us know. The beer is pricey unless you buy 24 of them! And the news is very boring. In SA we were sunday times and mail and guardian fanatics because there was real drama always going on. Here, the papers seem empty. Which is wonderful, thanks! I went into the south african shop in caulfield last week and i felt a bit nostalgic and bought flings and ghost pops. It was strange and wonderful to hear the south african accent. I can see how you have an affinity to other south africans. It means a lot to hear something familiar in a strange land.

Emotionally, this is tough guys. I think that we have stood up relatively well but the job search has taken its toll. Last week i heard that one of my best friends was diagnosed with breast cancer in JHB and when i got the call i just wanted to weep. I would give anything just to be able to teleport there and be with her for coffee and support. You get emotional at the strangest times. I was in the woolworths bread aisle and overheard three young lovely chatty aussie ladies with their kids chatting about getting together and coffee and it was clear they had been friends for years and i got seriously all weepy about my girlfriends and my kids friends in SA. I really dont miss things in SA. You get used to the soap powder and coffee and cheese but not having the comfort of old relationships is hard.

To all the newbies on their way, Melbourne is still fabulous even if we had Justin Bieber in town this week. We still retain our city of culture hallmark! Like i said to my friend on line, these last few weeks have been so so hard and yet i still want to be here. So that says a lot about how great it is. Please just pm me if anyone arrives and then we can get together.

[Oryx]

Welcome to Melbourne!

Edited July 17, 2012 by Oryx

[mcbear]

Hi Allison

Your posts are super, they really describe how it is when you first arrive for those still on their way. I thought I would add my take on life in Melbourne for those still on their way.

For us it was great when we moved into our rental, we were there for a month before our container arrived, but it was good to have a base in this very unsettling time. I was taken aback at how emotional I was on the day all my things got there, it's when I realised that this is a pretty permanent move, and that it would now be harder to go back than to stay. I laughed at my 8yo, in this big empty house, she had all the furniture arranged in her mind, and was shocked to see how small the place became once all our stuff was there!

We also camped in the house, airbeds, camping chairs, and the rest I packed in our suitcases which came on the plane with us (160kg!). I am so glad I did that. Neighbours and colleagues were very kind giving us blankets and small kitchen appliances and offering use of fridges and washing machines. Our neighbour even lent us a TV and microwave!

Aspendale is a lovely suburb, there is a strong community here, and everyone knows everyone. A bit like a small town, and I am loving it. The beach is lovely for kids, water so gentle to swim in, it's like having a swimming pool just around the corner. Our biggest pleasure in the summer was to have fish and chips on the beach in the early evening!

We look north, we look east, and we even look at neighbouring suburbs and do not find better, it's just a pity about the price of houses here, we could be living in a mansion in Dainfern for these prices!! Anyway, slowly we adjust to the dollars, very slowly.

I believe there is a club in Mentone that swim in the bay every morning at 6am, in winter (it is very dark then). If you do it every day for the whole winter, you get a t-shirt .. fancy joining?

In the summer, the kids join the Nippers program, at the local life saving club, and Friday afternoon/evenings are spent on the beach, I've heard quite a social gathering. We are looking forward to that next summer. It stays light until about 9-10pm mid-summer. There is also a great NFL (Footy) program that all the boys join, almost an institution. It's great for the dads too, they get quite involved. I'm sure your husband will enjoy that, but it is not rugby, he will still need that.

We have joined the netball program in Chelsea, that's what the girls do, and we also do tennis. All of these programs are state sponsored, so you only pay a little bit to be a part. It keeps the family out and about for sure!

The school is fantastic! We are so pleased with it. Compared to our private school in SA, it is at least the same, if not better, and it is a state school. No school fees, we pay $360 at the beginning of the year for stationery, excursions and a computer levy. That's all! There is a very strong focus on IT, and I am blown away by what my 8yo has learnt in 6 months. They have laptops in the classroom all the time, and the kids are always picking them up to do something. We are expecting some iPads to arrive soon, so exciting for the kids! Their reading is more advanced, I have had to work with my daughter to get up to scratch, they do a lot more reading, and we did have to jump a few levels when we arrived, I think a good thing. Handwriting is not so important - they do not want to cramp the creativity - so they also do not expect perfect spelling when the kids are writing, but we do have weekly spelling words and tests, so they do also work on this. We have a subject at school called Discovery Learning, which the kids love so much. It is a regular session where they choose something they want to learn more about, and then do a project on that, using the resources in the classroom (internet, educational internet, books, art materials etc it's all there in the room!). My 8yo has just finished a project, she built a model (correct) of the solar system, and can tell you all the names of the planets, and some more. I am so impressed - I doubt I even knew there were planets when I was 8!! Some boys in the class built a model of a house, complete with electrics. They actively encourage parental involvement, so generally there is a parent in the classroom assisting, I helped some girls sew some clothes. One of the dads helped with the electric project. Maths is also good, very integrated into real life. My daughter has such fun at school, she has not had one single bad day since she started. The kids are mixed around so much in the classroom, so they never get a chance to form clicks, so as a result, the whole class are such good friends. Oh, and there are only 18 kids in her class. Yes, it's a state school! They are also kept very active, with running club, grade 2 sports and PE, so it's a really busy day. They try to adapt each child's learning program to their ability, so no child is "top of the class"; or & "bottom of the class";, they split them up into groups. They do not do composite classrooms at our school, which I think is better, check that when you are looking at schools (it’s where they combine two grades together, say grade 1 and grade 2).

We are finding it tiring however, the term is relentless, the last one was 11 weeks long, with no break in between. And we only got a 2 week holiday. For that we get 6 weeks in December/January, but I think we could perhaps have another week in winter, and one less in summer, but oh well, must adapt.

School uniform is much more practical, a warm tracksuit in winter, with runners (tackies). Summer is a nice dress, or skorts and golf-shirt. No PT uniform, no swimming uniform, no white shirts, no school shoes. Australians are very practical and sensible.

School hours are great, only getting there at 9, but I can understand why now, it only gets light at 8am mid-winter!! But I do enjoy it, I even cook breakfast for them, you know like in the movies Mom has cooked pancakes for everyone!

What does take adjusting, is that you finish school at 3.30, then head off to extramurals, some nights you can only get home at 7pm. I am used to Joburg where at 5.30 it was "lock-down" time! Being out in the evening still takes an adjustment for me, but it is so great to have the freedom.

The kids here are more grown up and aware. My daughter is battling to connect with the girls in her class, she still wants to play games and the girls seem to be interested in boys and clothes already, at 7 and 8 years old! So she ends up playing with the boys all the time. They are also more capable and do so many more things independently. At age 12 they generally can get themselves around without help. I have found that my little ones have been exposed to so much more real life since we arrived. They live a very protected life in SA.

Hold tight with the job hunting. It is tough. You are competing with so many other people who have the same, if not better, qualifications as you. For every job there are 100 applicants that fit the job spec EXACTLY, so employers get to pick and choose. It took my husband about 5 weeks to finally start working. He got a 6 month contract. At the same time he had nailed the first interviews for two other permanent positions so it was looking promising, but the person who interviewed him for the contract, saw him and had an offer on the table within a day. We didn't want to take a chance that the other ones would not come through so we took the contract, although the pay was not good. Then when the contract was nearing an end he was out looking for a new job (in June) and there was NOTHING being advertised, no jokes. It is scary. June is financial year end, no one seems to have any budget left. Luckily now in July there are more jobs being advertised. Also, luckily for us, they ended up extending the contract for a further 6 months, on the last day. What a stressful time!

We decided to just focus on doing well in the contract and getting a good reference, even though the job wasn't perfect. It has helped, we have "Australian Experience" now, and a good reference. He did not look for any jobs during these 6 months, and they started talking of extending months ago, so we felt it made sense for us. Now he is looking for a permanent position, the market is looking a bit better. The agents put you into a box, so it can be quite frustrating to find the right thing. And again, they have a huge selection of candidates for every role, it is not like in SA where skilled people are few. And yes, you don't know anyone, and that also applies here, not what you know, but who you know. Holding thumbs, now there is a great permanent position looking promising for him.

If your husband is going for a second interview that looks promising too, something will come up, sometimes you have to not be too fussy - you can always start looking for another job once you have one, best to just have one. And it also helps for their self-confidence. We are so busy stressing about the kids and the homestead, that we forget about the HUGE stress they are under to provide a job and get the family stabilised. And until the job is sorted, you can not settle properly.

The rands go extremely quickly, even the dollars. It has been such a good exercise for us to make ends meet on a low salary. I have at last learnt to stick to my budget and not be so wasteful. So now with a new job, at a much better salary, we will be in a good position to start saving. I shop at ALDI, and they are not joking when they say you can save up to 42%. I can see it. I was going to Woolworths/Coles for a weekly shop, and it was costing $200-$300 a week, now I buy everything possible at ALDI, and only a few items at Woolworths/Coles, and my weekly shop is about $110. When you first arrive you are not brand specific, so ALDI is great. They don't sell any brand names, all house brands, and most of it is fine. I only really get luxuries from Woolworths/Coles so could easily cut that out if I needed to. But it is strange, most Australians just shop at Woolworths/Coles and don’t give ALDI a go? They are clearly not price sensitive! (Sounds like I'm working for ALDI!)

There are so many things to do with the kids that don't cost anything. I often go to the local playpark (it's not a jungle gym by the way), grab a coffee, and the kids play happily and I have a chat with one of the mums there. Otherwise grab a bucket and spade and head to the beach . On weekends we can jump onto our bikes and ride anywhere we like, that is great, but the weather needs to improve first before we do that again.

If you find a good local hairdresser, please share with me. Sorry to say this, but the ladies are not well groomed here compared to SA, definitely not enough decent hairdressers here and the prices too ridiculous. I now cut my girls hair, not perfectly, but neither did the kids hairdresser, who wanted $20 a pop, oh, and if I wanted it styled, it would cost $30 and require a special appointment ....! Beware, if you want them to wash your hair, add $15. The last one took 1.5 hours to cut my hair.

I haven't even considered highlights - maybe in my next life.

When shopping for things, don't just go and buy it. Identify what you want, and then look around. There is a lot of choice, and often I am pleasantly surprised by what I find. But watch the price, and look for the sales. They are proper sales, like 50-60% off. So don't buy anything at full price, unless you need it now. Everyone has done their christmas shopping in june, with the end of year sales, which are really good. Poor me - I did all my christmas shopping last year 2 weeks before christmas! Also, buy in bulk, you save big dollars. There is a James Murphy in Chelsea Heights, sells liquor in bulk, get your beers there. Go to Dollar King and the other cheap chinese shops, you can get well priced stuff there that we are used to in SA (most of it looks like it comes from the same factory!).

There is a deli in Parkdale (on the Nepean highway) that sells some SA stuff, not as far as Caulfield.

Hehe, so glad you are enjoying the housework - I hope it lasts! But you do get into a routine and just get on with it. And you know, my house spends more time being more or less tidy and clean, instead of looking like a bomb has hit it some days and spotless on others, depending on whether the maid had been to visit. A lot of people do get a cleaning service in, especially those people who work. It's not that expensive, especially if you are on a double income. Someone in my husband's office gets two people in once a week for $100, who clean the house and do all the ironing, not bad. But they only clean the house - so if there is a sock on the floor, they will clean AROUND it, and leave it where it is, so you have to tidy before they get there. lol!

Anyway, cleaning materials seem to last forever here, strange that ...

But people are more relaxed here - I laughed, we had a girls night at a friend recently, and there we were drinking wine in her living room, with her undies hanging on the clothes dryer in front of the fire. Sums up Australians I think.

They also drink a lot of wine, something I'm starting to get into.

The kids all drink water here, you are frowned upon if your kids drink juice, so start orientating them now!

I do find it really disorientating. SA is incredibly sophisticated in so many ways. I find it hard to accept the presentation of the shops here. In SA, everything is all new, glitzy and clean. The high street shops here are not, and they have "milk bars" here, which I can only equate to that "corner cafe" we used to have in the 80s. The counters are worn thin from so many years of use . The good places are not obvious, you have to ask, and then you find it hidden in a quiet alley, or in amongst a whole lot of bushes. Good places do exist fortunately, but the set up is just so foreign! Sometimes I do feel like I've travelled backwards 30 years. The Dis-Chem equivalent looks like a real cash 'n carry store, they clearly spend nought on shop fittings, the prices are good, but I know it can be so much better?

And then, in these areas far south of the city, because they are so far away from the city, many of them were industrial, so you drive through a residential area, and then suddenly there is a huge factory!?! But slowly they are being redeveloped into residential.

Anyway, again it's me who must adapt and I will.

I agree Melbourne (and Victoria) is great, we really like it. Weather a bit lousy, we will most definitely have an aircon for next summer, cannot do without one for sure, and winter is cold and wet. But there are good days where the sun shines brightly.

There are so many fun things to do, it will take years to get them all done.

A friend of mine said to me last week, you open up a can of worms when you head out to Australia. You open up a whole new world which once you have experienced going back to SA and living the way one does there will be really hard. But it is so strange here. The people are different, friendly and welcoming, but they are different inside. They have not had to experience what we have had to experience. They cannot understand why we would leave behind homes, jobs and close family and their eyes are like saucers when I give them very limited tidbits of why we left.

We left behind a very involved Granny, and my sister and her kids, my kids cousins that they have grown up with so could almost be brothers and sisters. My kids are battling with the big adjustments in their life. My 5yo cannot understand Skype, why is Granny in the computer, I want to touch her! She tells me every day that she misses Africa. My 8yo can clearly see the benefits of living here, she loves the different school system, loves the freedom and outdoor spaces, but she is acting up in other ways which make me see that she is battling to adjust and sorely misses her cousins and Granny. Skype is just not the same for the little ones.

The locals all have their support systems, their mums, sisters and old friends, we have nought, and must start from scratch, that is hard. My kids watch other people's granny come and fetch them from school, their granny used to do that. Grandparents day is hard. And there is a sadness on their faces which is devastating. My kids don't have that unconditional love at hand anymore, and in a way must go out and prove themselves every day.

But now my kids have experienced so much freedom, they would find it hard to get back to SA style safety and security.

I realised the other day, my 5yo can unlock all the doors in the house to get outside, so if she wanted to she can escape, eek! And I can't hide the keys because the locks are just little knobs on the doors. At least in SA I could keep my kids locked in .

We question every single day whether we have made the right decision, rationally we know we have, but to see how hurt our family is makes it really hard. And flying home regularly is not an option, a good priced ticket costs $1500, $2000 over the summer holidays, so for a family of four you are in for $8000, not pocket money by most people's standards. Only when you get here do you realise how far away it really is.

But you know all of that.

Anyway, hope I've helped to give you a better idea of what's coming.

Good Luck, it is worth it, this place is lovely; when you arrive take a drive on Beach Road from St Kilda to Mordialloc, it is really good for the soul, and you can say "I live in this beautiful place". I don't think I could say that of Joburg, just of the people which is all that I miss from back home.

Edited July 17, 2012 by mcbear

[JellyTots]

Thanks Allison and mcbear for your candid honesty

[Eagle101]

Must agree with above comment - thanks to Allison & mcbear for both of your very informative posts, and for taking the time to write such detailed notes of your experiences - it really is very helpful.

[AllisonW]

Mcbear,

thank you for your wonderful hospitality today and your wonderful advice and information that you have so kindly shared with me.

I really am grateful.

Especially for the yummy muffins!

Al

[Sibella]

Allison I'm glad you and McBear finally got together!! Hope to also meet you some time soon.

Could you remind me what specific line of IT work your hubbie does?