Another view on Culture Shock

[Dedrei]

I have read the most interesting post on SAusa.org now. Hope some of you find it useful too.

http://www.sausa.org/index.php?showtopic=2287

[Riekie]

......which is proof that there's no easy "recipe" for dealing with it and everyone has a different experience. Thanks for that - it was very interesting to read and I could identify with some of that for sure! It is nice to know we have a forum where we can get a bit of emotional support for those "down" days..... - makes it a lot easier.

[Guest Seoul Sister]

Hi there,

Thanks for that. Made for interesting reading. As you can well imagine, I am no stranger to the concept of culture shock, and I thought I would share the following with you, to give you an idea of just how strange things can be...

Thank goodness for the clear instructions on my dish washer !

Hungry ? How about some cooked silk worm larva ?

Not sure what time class is ? Just check the sign !

Chips anyone ? Who needs Simba, salt & Vinegar when you can have Seaweed !

Some things are international !

Honeymoon

Hostility

Humour

Home

I am definitely on Humour - one thing you need to survive here ! But lemme tell ya, it's not uncommon to have all 4 Hs in a day !

Love from here

Seoul Sister

[Riekie]

I'll NEVER survive there!! Next time I get the blues, I'll count my blessings....!!

[Guest Seoul Sister]

Hehehehehehe. Welcome to my world !!

It's really strange (in the unfamiliar sense), but it's also a FANTASTIC place ! A place you shouldn't visit unless you are prepared to lose your heart ! Also a fabulous opportunity to question 'Western ways' and adopt a few Eastern customs. I could go on for hours...

Love from here

SS

[Michelle]

Deidre, good posting. I can't tell you how good it felt to walk into the SA Essentials shop today and seeing all the brands that I know and love. It is very intimidating when you try and buy groceries and you do not know a single brand. It took me 2 hours to buy 1 week's groceries, but I am improving!!

I know it is nothing compared to Seoul Sisters experience but it is still very difficult to shop when everything is unfamiliar.

[Dedrei]

SS. Would never be able to cope with all the funny signs and writing on things.

Our day will come soon for our first shopping experience.

[Guest Seoul Sister]

Hi there,

I know it is nothing compared to Seoul Sisters experience but it is still very difficult to shop when everything is unfamiliar.

Michelle this sentence of yours has really struck a cord with me...

We are all different. We come from different backgrounds, different places in SA, we are in different places financially (as Stealth pointed out) and we have different capabilities when dealing with the unfamiliar. I have always had a very strong sense of adventure, confidence, and huge tolerance and love for the element of surprize. In some aspects I am a bit nuts. * even if I have to say so myself *

I agree with you completely when you say shopping is difficult when everything is unfamiliar ! AMEN SISTA ! And you know what strange is strange is strange. I don't want you to downplay your experience in comparison to mine, since our situations are completely different. I have travelled extensively, and eventhough things in the Far East are seriously weird sometimes, if we were able to put our lives in comparison I don't see our experiences of coping with the unfamiliar differing too much at all. Remember that I have been gone for a long time and that I have had lots of time to adjust to not understanding and to strange produce / beverages / signs etc. While you are brand new to immigration and living in unfamiliar surroundings.

I remember when we just left SA, my first shopping experience in Holland. OMG ! I stood in front of the cheese section for probably 45 minutes. I was LOST ! I couldn't understand half of the words and there was just SO much information. My mind was blank. All I wanted was a small chunk of sweetmilk cheese, how hard could it be ? Hehehehehehe. It was amazing. I can tell you a million funny stories of unfamiliarity and shopping ! Like the time 1 week after arrival when I bought Lóreal Cremeshampoo, thinking it would be fantastic shampoo since it even said "Voor zijde zachte, glad blond haar !" on the front. I mean what more can I gal wish for, right ? As the days went by my hair went soft, softer, limp, limper, lifeless. Until I couldn't take it anymore and I went back to the store.. Boy did I feel like an idiot when it was explained to me that Cremeshampoo was in fact Conditioner, and that I had conditioned my hair until kingdom come, all the while thinking I was washing it !!

And another time in Belgium, when (in extremely basic Dutch) I was explaining to a French-Belgian that I was looking for Mealies... Used every alternative word I have ever heard of for Mealie, Maise, Corn, etc...

Made some signals in the air, told them that it is a veggie, yellow, little pips on, etc, etc. 10 minutes later the one Belgian showed signs of life *and intelligence* and walked away very enthusiastically, only to return with

A BANANA !!!!!!!!

I was ready to pack up and GO HOME !

Anyway, what I am actually trying to say is :

Please don't think that your experiences of culture shock are not as bad as mine. Everyone experiences it differently. I wanted to show you what my life is like and if it makes you thank your lucky stars and appreciate Oz a bit more - like Rieks, then good for you. All I really want is that whenever you feel lonely, isolated, out of place, frustrated, disappointed, angry, sad, missing home, confused, doubtful and all other things that culture shock makes us feel, think of me and know that there is another Saffer who knows what you are feeling !! Culture shock can be a really isolating thing, until we realize we are not alone and that others have gone through it too.

Love from here

Seoul Sister

Edited March 15, 2006 by Seoul Sister

[Michelle]

Dear SS

I have always considered myself to be rather well travelled. I have been overseas every year since my husband and I have been together and 2 times before that. I always went to places where languages spoken are not English and always managed to get along. However holidaying in a different country and staying there is not the same at all. When on my honeymoon in Brazil or on holiday in South of France etc I considered all the different things as exotic and exciting, but having to buy things you do not know for every day use is a whole different ball game. (I hope people who could not afford LSD trips do not have a problem with this paragraph)

I enjoyed the posting Deidre referred to because I started to realise that it is quite normal to feel annoyed when nothing around you seems familiar. I was surprised how happy I was about a silly South African store. Also when we saw the only couple we knew at the place we went for our medical insurance it was such a treat to run into somebody you know. I guess everything is blown out of proporsion when you are emotional and not quite in your comfort zone.

Anyway I enjoy your anecdotes as it makes me realise I am not alone and that it could be worse.

[Guest Seoul Sister]

Hey there,

As long as you know you are not alone. Then my work is done !!

I could tell you a few more (silly anecdotes), but ppl will really start thinking I'm an IDIOT ! Amen to that, living in a country and just being a holidaymaker are two completely different things !! Shockingly different, in fact.

Hehehehehe, about the LSD trip issue. I have never been on one ! Eventhough I am stinking rich !!!! . Just kidding. *hehehehehehehehe* Good for those who have gone and thanks for sharing with us, it is all very interesting !

Lots of love

SS

[Janneman]

I would like to address Sis Blondi personally, before I continue with this thread: Don't ever lose your sense of humour! I'm convinced that it has helped you to overcome many obstacles along the way. The ability to see the humour in things - even in a "bad" situation - is a gift to be treasured. Doe zo voort!

The term "culture shock" is sometimes difficult for me to fathom, because it depends on what you consider to be "culture". Is it a braai and rugby every weekend? Is it the opera every Sunday, or is it wine-tasting and cheese lunches every so often, not forgetting visits to art galleries and long walks on Blaauwberg's beaches? The culture in the Cape Town differs from those in Bloem, Jo'burg, PE and Pretoria - not forgetting Durbs, of course.

But there is one common denominator in all of this, whether we cheer for the same sports teams or not, and that is the fact that we are South African with distinct South African ways of doing things and a South African sense of hospitality and friendliness.

Thát kind of culture can be sorely missed in your adopted country.

There is of course a huge mountain to climb when you move to a non-English or non-Western country, and it is here where Seoul Sister's sense of humour (and being a "bit nuts", to use her own words) helped her along the way. We moved to to the United States about a year and a half ago, and boy, was I surprised in many instances! The first being the language. Oh, it's English all right, but very different to the Queen's.

You can use a check (cheque) to pay for the new tires (tyres) of your truck (bakkie). Then you fill up with gas (petrol) at the gas station (garage). You can also buy propane (gas) for your outside cooker (portable gas stove) at the gas station, but gas (natural gas) for your water heater (geyser) and central heating, is delivered to your house by means of a pipe. A geyser in the States is something that spews hot water from inside the earth into the air and a geezer is and old man. So if you were to phone and ask a company to come and fix your geyser, they might send an ambulance. A nappy is unheard of and so is a dummy. Cool drink draws a blank stare and sweet melon closes all curtains. I'ts a soda and canteloupe. I can go on, but will stop for now.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do, but remember, nobody said you have to become a Roman. But then, it is also true that if you are going to isolate yourself from your surrounds, you will be a very unhappy chappie. In other words, you do not have to "give up" anything in order to survive, but you have to learn how to adapt to your new environment. I had to, 'cause I'm now what is known as Mr Mom. Chief cook and bottle washer. I cook every day, clean the house, bake bread, do the washing (don't iron - hate it), do the shopping and cart our twin boys around.

The missus is the one working and bringing the bacon home. My visa states that I'm not allowed to work until we get a "Green Card", therefore I'll be Mr Mom, or Stay-at-home-Dad as it is called here. Did I feel threatened by the fact that I'm now doing chores "men normaly don't do"? Did it affect me as a man that a woman is now the bread-winner?

No! Not at all! In fact, I like it! It was something I had to adapt to and I did. The boys are 12 years old and in Grade 6. I'm there for them. They need our guidance and most of all, our attention and support. I'm in a very fortunate position!

In my opinion many culture shocks can be avoided if one is prepared to face life with an open and receptive mind. Many things will differ and many things will be worse than what you are used to, but always remember that you made the move because of a reason. Stick to your reason and adapt to your new circumstances. You will survive.

[NZHigh]

...to give you an idea of just how strange things can be...

So??? It only looks like the items in half the shops on the North Shore of Auckland. (Remember that article I wrote you about some time ago).

[NZHigh]

Boy did I feel like an idiot when it was explained to me that Cremeshampoo was in fact Conditioner, and that I had conditioned my hair until kingdom come, all the while thinking I was washing it !!

You won't believe how funny I thought this was

I'll tell you why. As a male with fairly short hair I'm not particularly fussy about shampoo and that kind of thing. What do I know in any case. I have been using that white bottle with the blue cap for many years, I forgot the name, something like Shower and Shoulders, oh wait, Head and Shoulders. There we go...

In any case, some time before Christmas I noticed it on 'special' at one of the stores, but not only that, the bottle had changed to a sort of a tube shape. I thought cool and bought it, used it, noticed over time my hair became 'smooth and silky' (I have strong thick hair) - not really what I wanted.

I had to call in the 'expert knowledge' of my wife to realise that the different tube shape was in fact conditioner......

[serileen]

VIVA Janneman , you are truly a liberated soul....now that is something the average SA male has got to get use too.

NZHigh , thanx for bringing SS and myself into the light cause we have been trying to figure whether you are male or female

[Caroline]

I see that I have been missing out on all the fun here..

Culture shock and language-have to tell you a story about my mother

Mother dearest is South African but moved to Norway when she met my dad. So life goes on and she learns to speak Norwegian, makes friends-the usual stuff.

The neighbour (my Godmother) used to have these weekly 'symøter' which is like a 'sowing club meeting' ala 'book club' meeting (you know what I mean?). Anyway mum had saved up for this chest of drawers that she wanted to buy and finally she could buy it so she was very excited. She decided to share this exciting news with the ladies at the meeting.... after all....they were always so friendly and asking her questions trying to start a conversation etc.

Now a chest of drawers in Norwegian is a 'kommode'(that's pronounced like coooooomoode and a condom is pronounced cooooondoom (yes you read right)

So she proudly started telling them in Norwegian how she had been looking for so long to find the right size 'condom' because my dad wanted a really big one that could fit everything. And finally she had found one and she was so excited because they were going to use it as soon as she got home. She just wanted to 'wipe it down first' before they used it.

Well..... there was silence..then the laughter errupted as they realiesed that she had confused the words. My poor mother still remembers it as one of the most embarrasing moments of her life.

[Guest Seoul Sister]

I would like to address Sis Blondi personally, before I continue with this thread: Don't ever lose your sense of humour! I'm convinced that it has helped you to overcome many obstacles along the way. The ability to see the humour in things - even in a "bad" situation - is a gift to be treasured. Doe zo voort!

Hey Janneman. Hartelijk dank. Jij heb inderdaad gelijk. If it weren't for my sense of humor and a few crazy sparks that spark some laughs and fun, I wouldn't have made it this far ! What good is hardship if it doesn't teach us to laugh a little. I have to tell you, I find it extremely cool that you are a SAHD ! How incredibly out-of-the-box is that !! INSPIRATIONAL ! Hehehehehehe. As for your excellent examples of the not-so-English American language, I had a really good giggle at the melons... It's like South Africans asking for the slip after paying for things in Holland, but slip being panty in Dutch !! Now there's a mistake you only make once !! Hehehehehehe.

Hey there NZHigh,

LOL. Hehehehe. Ja, you are windgat now, while the Koreans are still around, but wait until they stop importing all of the Samsungs from Korea and you have to cope with everything in English !!! Hehehehehehe. You'll wish you'd moved to Oz instead, hehehehehe, or who knows maybe you'll move in next to me for some familiar sights and sounds !! Good one, I enjoyed that !!

Thanks for the conditioner bit, hehehehehe, your wife must have had a good chuckle with that one. So you are in the same situation as I, I say - bring on the static dry winter air, ppl, my hair is READY FOR IT !!! And will be for at least another 5 seasons.. The bottle was probably printed in English, had it been in Hangol, like all of your other trusted products, you would have been fine...

Love from here. Enjoy your evening

The one with zijde zachte PLATTE haar.

SS

[NZHigh]

Just to add a more serious (but short though - it is now way past my bedtime) post. To put it in very simple terms, I strongly believe that because people are so different they react differently than others. I like to use myself as an example (simply because I know myself - I think ).

Elsewhere I mentioned that you could place me in Antartica (you know what I mean) and I would quickly find something to do, settle in and get involved in the local community, etc. I have had the opportunity to live in 4 different countries (all English speaking though), and travelled to 24 countries (26 but the other 2 was when I was too young to remember) and instead of being 'shocked' it has always been and still is an adventure. For us is takes only a few moments to find ourselves in the new place and our attitude is extremely positive (as it was in 1994......), and all this helps to adjust in New Zealand almost instantly even though we did not know a single person here prior to our arrival. And to think we did not even do a LSD.

Other families of course may experience it totally differently.

Serileen,

NZHigh: Some time ago Helen Clark (our PM) addressed an audience on the drug issues that people face saying that people should rather get HIGH on life (she loves the outdoors eg goes skiing in Norway every December). I get high on New Zealand hence NZHigh... Yep I'm a male maybe I should use less of the type smilies/ emoticons and use more of the ones. Hehehe

[Caroline]

NZHigh

You just stay the way you are

[serileen]

NZHigh....nothing wrong with the softer approach

[sonnetjie]

Caroline

Thank you for the story I had the best laugh ever.

[Guest Seoul Sister]

*wipe eyes, stretch cheeks*

*ROTFL* Caroline, Hehehehehehe *hang on*

OMG ! Excellent story, Hehehehehehe, that was SO FUNNY !!

Hehehheeh *wipe* OK... Lemme try and get control for a moment...

NZHigh, When I first read the name I thought how clever - High on New Zealand ! As in drugs, but then NZ... Just as you explained. Very clever - Good ol' SAffer innovation ! Don't you dare change. We love you, why else would we be discussing you and trying to figure you out ? You're one of us now, don't know whether I should congratulate you or sympathize with you.. Oh no, here I go again..

Hehehehehehe Caroline... Hehehehe, can you imagine the faces around that table... Hehehehehe, oh no...

Chat later

SS

[SASydneysider]

NZHigh , thanx for bringing SS and myself into the light cause we have been trying to figure whether you are male or female

I think Hendie should create a mandatory check box upon registration where 'Male' or 'Female' can be selected.

Imagine if a male requests access to the Ladies' Lounge .......... (said in a joking manner)

Edited March 16, 2006 by SASydneysider

[NZHigh]

Thanks for all the cyber loving then ladies (I say as I check to see whether my wife is approaching )

Shows you how appearing on a forum adds a veil of secrecy or mystery. With body language, tone of voice etc missing who knows who could be lurking behind a cyber name.

That is by the way why arguments start up so easily and as long as we realise that we're as good as gold.

SASydneysider, I am of course curious to know what you guys (sorry I mean ladies ) are discussing behind that ironclad wall of fire....

[SASydneysider]

SASydneysider, I am of course curious to know what you guys (sorry I mean ladies ) are discussing behind that ironclad wall of fire....

See, you should never have given away your 'secret' then you could have found out for yourself!

[Guest Seoul Sister]

Howzit,

SASydneysider (mind if I call you SASSY for short ?) hehehehe, I had a good giggle at your "what if a male manages to get into the girl's lounge"... Well then I KNOW I will sympathize rather than congratulate... Hehehehehehe

OH NZHigh, I think you will be AMAZED at what goes on behind the scenes. Whatcha think ? Serileen ? Caroline ?

Love from a rainy and cold Korea

SS