5 Weeks And Counting

[Esthee]

If someone told me when we decided on the 2nd of February 2008 to immigrate to Australia that I would still be in South Africa on the 20th of May 2011 I would probably not even have done the work to get the visa. It’s been a very long journey and now that our time to leave has finally arrived I know that all things come to those who wait. My biggest catalyst for moving was a very selfish and childish one at first. Years down the line I can see that there are bigger more important reasons to leave the country of one's birth. But so it was that the big electricity crises of 2008 made me sufficiently unhappy enough to look to my partner and mention the thought of greener grass where you could get warm coffee in the morning. He had been thinking along the same lines for far more illustrious reasons, BEE, working with corruption etc. For me it was the lack of my warm coffee in the morning and the big iron gate that would not open when I came home after a long day trying to do my work in the office with power that would go on and off at the mere will of some official somewhere.

We got out PR 175 visas after me spending all my waking hours balancing the precarious magic of browsing the internet on the whims of Telkom and Eskom officials, to browse this wonderful forum and basically pestering all around. So during August of 2009 we were very relieved and quite happy to have our little badges of honour in our passports. My partner’s parents, who helped raised me since I was 15, asked us to join them on a week long holiday to Madikwe Game Farm to discuss our future plans. It was the most amazing week of what Africa could possibly ever offer anyone. In my simplicity I thought it must be a farewell holiday for me and the partner before learning all there is to see about Australia. This included having the Matriarch of one of the elephant families give birth right in front of our lodge for a birthing ritual that took almost 12 hours with all the trumpeting and fanfare. She was standing a mere 50 metres away from me and my mother-in-law and I was the first to say to the ranger that I was sure she was going to give birth; which she did to a beautiful little baby girl elephant. It still remains one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

We were still on a high from our week away with the in-laws when Africa came to haunt me again. This time not in its beauty, but in its sheer terror. My in-laws lived on a plot just outside Lynnwood road in Pretoria. We spent a wonderful Friday evening together laughing, listening to music and when they invited us to stay for the night I insisted to go home. We only lived in Centurion, so why stay? 3 Hours later we got the phone call that 4 black guys broke through their 8ft electrical fence and then through the inner 6ft electrical perimeter fence and attacked them while they were sleeping. My father-in-law was brutally attacked and rushed to ICU where he stayed for 3 weeks, my mother-in-law died from a gunshot to the heart. They stole a cellphone and left. And so we became part of the great South African statistic. If you search her name she’s noted as a farm killing on various websites. The murderers somehow ‘disappeared’.

So it took longer to get the family back on its feet, to get ourselves back on our feet. A new grandchild was born to my partner’s father who will forever honour his mother by having her name. And yes, you do get up and you do heal. But when immigrating, sometimes you need to make sure it’s just for the lack of warm coffee in the morning and not a way of running away from grief.

And now, I’m sitting in our rental home that will be packed up in 2 weeks. My furry children will fly to Melbourne on Tuesday and be there for a whole month before us. I’ve lived without their warm faces and loving personalities for 6 months now and its showing around the edges. The other day I was collecting something from the post office when I almost physically attacked this cute little dog in a man’s arms in front of me. I’m becoming that scary lady who will pet anything with four legs and a wagging tail. Rottweiler barking, no problem just give me 3 minutes. I’ve even asked some neighbours if I could take their dogs for walks, but the concept of me just getting the enjoyment of the walk out of it was a bit too strange for them and now I don’t think I so readily greet me. It will be good to have my own back with me.

Another wonderful expectation is that I’m planning our wedding. After all of the things we’ve been through and the 17 years we’ve been together I think it’s time to give the poor man what he deserves. A wedding. So I’m going to have an Australian wedding, my style. This great journey that is starting in a few weeks is something I’m really looking forward to. And I can’t think of a better country to do it in than Australia.

In 2008 when I decided to immigrate to Australia, I wanted to do it immediately. But when I look back at the journey that I had to take to get to this point today I know that if we believe we will be led to the best route and the best time. I think my mother-in-law would be proud.

[Jody]

If someone told me when we decided on the 2nd of February 2008 to immigrate to Australia that I would still be in South Africa on the 20th of May 2011 I would probably not even have done the work to get the visa. It’s been a very long journey and now that our time to leave has finally arrived I know that all things come to those who wait. My biggest catalyst for moving was a very selfish and childish one at first. Years down the line I can see that there are bigger more important reasons to leave the country of one's birth. But so it was that the big electricity crises of 2008 made me sufficiently unhappy enough to look to my partner and mention the thought of greener grass where you could get warm coffee in the morning. He had been thinking along the same lines for far more illustrious reasons, BEE, working with corruption etc. For me it was the lack of my warm coffee in the morning and the big iron gate that would not open when I came home after a long day trying to do my work in the office with power that would go on and off at the mere will of some official somewhere.

We got out PR 175 visas after me spending all my waking hours balancing the precarious magic of browsing the internet on the whims of Telkom and Eskom officials, to browse this wonderful forum and basically pestering all around. So during August of 2009 we were very relieved and quite happy to have our little badges of honour in our passports. My partner’s parents, who helped raised me since I was 15, asked us to join them on a week long holiday to Madikwe Game Farm to discuss our future plans. It was the most amazing week of what Africa could possibly ever offer anyone. In my simplicity I thought it must be a farewell holiday for me and the partner before learning all there is to see about Australia. This included having the Matriarch of one of the elephant families give birth right in front of our lodge for a birthing ritual that took almost 12 hours with all the trumpeting and fanfare. She was standing a mere 50 metres away from me and my mother-in-law and I was the first to say to the ranger that I was sure she was going to give birth; which she did to a beautiful little baby girl elephant. It still remains one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

We were still on a high from our week away with the in-laws when Africa came to haunt me again. This time not in its beauty, but in its sheer terror. My in-laws lived on a plot just outside Lynnwood road in Pretoria. We spent a wonderful Friday evening together laughing, listening to music and when they invited us to stay for the night I insisted to go home. We only lived in Centurion, so why stay? 3 Hours later we got the phone call that 4 black guys broke through their 8ft electrical fence and then through the inner 6ft electrical perimeter fence and attacked them while they were sleeping. My father-in-law was brutally attacked and rushed to ICU where he stayed for 3 weeks, my mother-in-law died from a gunshot to the heart. They stole a cellphone and left. And so we became part of the great South African statistic. If you search her name she’s noted as a farm killing on various websites. The murderers somehow ‘disappeared’.

So it took longer to get the family back on its feet, to get ourselves back on our feet. A new grandchild was born to my partner’s father who will forever honour his mother by having her name. And yes, you do get up and you do heal. But when immigrating, sometimes you need to make sure it’s just for the lack of warm coffee in the morning and not a way of running away from grief.

And now, I’m sitting in our rental home that will be packed up in 2 weeks. My furry children will fly to Melbourne on Tuesday and be there for a whole month before us. I’ve lived without their warm faces and loving personalities for 6 months now and its showing around the edges. The other day I was collecting something from the post office when I almost physically attacked this cute little dog in a man’s arms in front of me. I’m becoming that scary lady who will pet anything with four legs and a wagging tail. Rottweiler barking, no problem just give me 3 minutes. I’ve even asked some neighbours if I could take their dogs for walks, but the concept of me just getting the enjoyment of the walk out of it was a bit too strange for them and now I don’t think I so readily greet me. It will be good to have my own back with me.

Another wonderful expectation is that I’m planning our wedding. After all of the things we’ve been through and the 17 years we’ve been together I think it’s time to give the poor man what he deserves. A wedding. So I’m going to have an Australian wedding, my style. This great journey that is starting in a few weeks is something I’m really looking forward to. And I can’t think of a better country to do it in than Australia.

In 2008 when I decided to immigrate to Australia, I wanted to do it immediately. But when I look back at the journey that I had to take to get to this point today I know that if we believe we will be led to the best route and the best time. I think my mother-in-law would be proud.

Thank you for sharing this very sad story.

[Kiki44]

If someone told me when we decided on the 2nd of February 2008 to immigrate to Australia that I would still be in South Africa on the 20th of May 2011 I would probably not even have done the work to get the visa. It’s been a very long journey and now that our time to leave has finally arrived I know that all things come to those who wait. My biggest catalyst for moving was a very selfish and childish one at first. Years down the line I can see that there are bigger more important reasons to leave the country of one's birth. But so it was that the big electricity crises of 2008 made me sufficiently unhappy enough to look to my partner and mention the thought of greener grass where you could get warm coffee in the morning. He had been thinking along the same lines for far more illustrious reasons, BEE, working with corruption etc. For me it was the lack of my warm coffee in the morning and the big iron gate that would not open when I came home after a long day trying to do my work in the office with power that would go on and off at the mere will of some official somewhere.

We got out PR 175 visas after me spending all my waking hours balancing the precarious magic of browsing the internet on the whims of Telkom and Eskom officials, to browse this wonderful forum and basically pestering all around. So during August of 2009 we were very relieved and quite happy to have our little badges of honour in our passports. My partner’s parents, who helped raised me since I was 15, asked us to join them on a week long holiday to Madikwe Game Farm to discuss our future plans. It was the most amazing week of what Africa could possibly ever offer anyone. In my simplicity I thought it must be a farewell holiday for me and the partner before learning all there is to see about Australia. This included having the Matriarch of one of the elephant families give birth right in front of our lodge for a birthing ritual that took almost 12 hours with all the trumpeting and fanfare. She was standing a mere 50 metres away from me and my mother-in-law and I was the first to say to the ranger that I was sure she was going to give birth; which she did to a beautiful little baby girl elephant. It still remains one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

We were still on a high from our week away with the in-laws when Africa came to haunt me again. This time not in its beauty, but in its sheer terror. My in-laws lived on a plot just outside Lynnwood road in Pretoria. We spent a wonderful Friday evening together laughing, listening to music and when they invited us to stay for the night I insisted to go home. We only lived in Centurion, so why stay? 3 Hours later we got the phone call that 4 black guys broke through their 8ft electrical fence and then through the inner 6ft electrical perimeter fence and attacked them while they were sleeping. My father-in-law was brutally attacked and rushed to ICU where he stayed for 3 weeks, my mother-in-law died from a gunshot to the heart. They stole a cellphone and left. And so we became part of the great South African statistic. If you search her name she’s noted as a farm killing on various websites. The murderers somehow ‘disappeared’.

So it took longer to get the family back on its feet, to get ourselves back on our feet. A new grandchild was born to my partner’s father who will forever honour his mother by having her name. And yes, you do get up and you do heal. But when immigrating, sometimes you need to make sure it’s just for the lack of warm coffee in the morning and not a way of running away from grief.

And now, I’m sitting in our rental home that will be packed up in 2 weeks. My furry children will fly to Melbourne on Tuesday and be there for a whole month before us. I’ve lived without their warm faces and loving personalities for 6 months now and its showing around the edges. The other day I was collecting something from the post office when I almost physically attacked this cute little dog in a man’s arms in front of me. I’m becoming that scary lady who will pet anything with four legs and a wagging tail. Rottweiler barking, no problem just give me 3 minutes. I’ve even asked some neighbours if I could take their dogs for walks, but the concept of me just getting the enjoyment of the walk out of it was a bit too strange for them and now I don’t think I so readily greet me. It will be good to have my own back with me.

Another wonderful expectation is that I’m planning our wedding. After all of the things we’ve been through and the 17 years we’ve been together I think it’s time to give the poor man what he deserves. A wedding. So I’m going to have an Australian wedding, my style. This great journey that is starting in a few weeks is something I’m really looking forward to. And I can’t think of a better country to do it in than Australia.

In 2008 when I decided to immigrate to Australia, I wanted to do it immediately. But when I look back at the journey that I had to take to get to this point today I know that if we believe we will be led to the best route and the best time. I think my mother-in-law would be proud.

Wow..such a beautiful story...I am sorry your mother in law was taken away from you in such a brutal manner...and may and your family find peace in OZ..

[Orion25]

HI Esthee,

Thanks so much for sharing and I sure hope you love your new life "Down Under"

[Chocolate]

Thanks for your post Esthee, and all the best to you in your

new adventure!

Sorry to read about your in-laws, and the

passing of your mom-in-law.

Chocolate

[Esthee]

Today marks the beginning of my third week in Melbourne. Its been quite the emotional journey and quite the roller-coaster. We collected our three pets from Spotswood quarantine station on our first day and its been worth every agonizing moment without them before to have them with me now. My cats and dog who haven't seen each other in 7 months just went back to being the best of friends and it seems like they haven't spent a moment away from us. The only difference is that our dog has now decided that she has earned the right to sleep on the bed, which I agree with her.

I didn't expect to feel loss so strongly. I didn't expect to feel so much sadness. I thought my dissatisfaction, to put it politely, of the SA government etc would be enough to just let me breeze into living in this new well working, friendly, accepting country I will now call home. I've never been patriotic, I don't watch sport, I don't listen to local music. For all practical purposes I have no Afrikaner bone in my body other than my family heritage. I like western culture, I like western music. I thought I would just gel easily here. And I do. That is what is making all my feelings of loss and sadness so profoundly strange. I love the beauty of the landscape here, I love the noise of the possum at night in the tree outside the house, I love the sound of my two tame Magpies that wake me in the morning and how they remind me to give them scraps in the morning. I love watching Sunrise in the morning. I love watching The Block at night. I love being able to go for a long stroll in the reserve with my dog and watching parrots of all colours playing in the huge trees above us. I might even have a job by the end of the week as I have already gone through my first two interviews and just need to meet two more company execs to make it official. I know how Doncaster turns into Mitcham road and how the Eastern Freeway gets you anywhere. I don't need my GPS to get me to church, the shops or to most places around me anymore.

And yet there are days where I just want to get into bed and don't want to get out of it. Days when I just want to close my eyes and block out every foreign plant, house, tree, view from my eyes. And wish I could be home again.

[Lynnie]

Today marks the beginning of my third week in Melbourne. Its been quite the emotional journey and quite the roller-coaster. We collected our three pets from Spotswood quarantine station on our first day and its been worth every agonizing moment without them before to have them with me now. My cats and dog who haven't seen each other in 7 months just went back to being the best of friends and it seems like they haven't spent a moment away from us. The only difference is that our dog has now decided that she has earned the right to sleep on the bed, which I agree with her.

I didn't expect to feel loss so strongly. I didn't expect to feel so much sadness. I thought my dissatisfaction, to put it politely, of the SA government etc would be enough to just let me breeze into living in this new well working, friendly, accepting country I will now call home. I've never been patriotic, I don't watch sport, I don't listen to local music. For all practical purposes I have no Afrikaner bone in my body other than my family heritage. I like western culture, I like western music. I thought I would just gel easily here. And I do. That is what is making all my feelings of loss and sadness so profoundly strange. I love the beauty of the landscape here, I love the noise of the possum at night in the tree outside the house, I love the sound of my two tame Magpies that wake me in the morning and how they remind me to give them scraps in the morning. I love watching Sunrise in the morning. I love watching The Block at night. I love being able to go for a long stroll in the reserve with my dog and watching parrots of all colours playing in the huge trees above us. I might even have a job by the end of the week as I have already gone through my first two interviews and just need to meet two more company execs to make it official. I know how Doncaster turns into Mitcham road and how the Eastern Freeway gets you anywhere. I don't need my GPS to get me to church, the shops or to most places around me anymore.

And yet there are days where I just want to get into bed and don't want to get out of it. Days when I just want to close my eyes and block out every foreign plant, house, tree, view from my eyes. And wish I could be home again.

I know what you mean!!! I can't exactly describe it - we are very happy here - but somedays.... eish!! Perhaps it will just take time to fully adjust and accept? I hope so I also miss the routine I had in SA - it is a whole different ball game here with my son starting year 1. Everything feels out of whack sometimes!!

BUT - We take it 1 day at a time

[Southern Right]

Thank you so much for sharing your heart wrenching story. There is a sense of nostalgia in your writing, and sadness too, I hope that you will find peace in Oz and that there will be no more tears of sadness for you, only joy.

[Chal]

And yet there are days where I just want to get into bed and don't want to get out of it. Days when I just want to close my eyes and block out every foreign plant, house, tree, view from my eyes. And wish I could be home again.

it's a bittersweet feeling, to feel so happy and so sad at the same time......luckily it's not all the time! Good luck, hope you all settle in and adjust to the aussie way of life with ease

[Emille]

Hi Esthee

Thanks for sharing your story initially and for your feedback on your progress. Its totally normal to go through ups and downs, and yes, the 'reasons for leaving South Africa' becomes increasingly blurred as time goes on. I think just go through the motions, remember to do 'nice' things that you enjoy from time to time and dont be too hard on yourself.

Have you married as yet? Looking forward on continued feedback on your journey...

I wish you all the best in your adapting to a new country.

All the best,

E