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Q. What is the height of optimism?

A. A South African batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What is the main function of the South African coach?

A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the South African version of a hat-trick?

A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't South African fielders need pre-tour travel injections?

A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the South African version of LBW?

A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. What do you call a South African with 100 runs to his name?

A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Graeme Smith?

A. His walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the South African touring party?

A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.

Q. What does Graeme Smith and a drug addict have in common?

A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the South African touring party?

A. The lady who ironed the cricket uniforms.

Q. Why is Graeme Smith cleverer than Houdini?

A. Because he can get out without even trying.

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