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Taxi rules - the South African way


vuilbaard
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Yesterday, 16th November, the roads around Pretoria were a delight to travel on (except for the streets in the city centre). There were no problems, no traffic jams, nothing – I was home in a jiffy!

Why? The taxis in Pretoria and Johannesburg were on strike because of the proposed Aarto system (points de-merit system similar to Australia).

Why? They felt it was “unfair†to them as it would “make†them lose their licences and their jobs! Can you believe this! I mean, the solution is easy – keep to the laws of the road and keep your licence/job!

But no, they insist (read DEMAND) that they have “rightsâ€. Yes, and the rest of us?

So, for those Saffers who have forgotten how much “fun†it is to be on a public road with these taxis around, as well as Aussies who have no idea what I’m on about, I “proudly†present (with vuvuzelas blaring away in the background):

TAXI RULES – THE SOUTH AFRICAN WAY

1. Roadworthiness is totally optional. Taxi’s driven with a vice-grip (because there’s no steering wheel, duh!); brake pads are made of cardboard (Eish! The real things are too expensive!); switching on lights after dark only wears down the battery and then it has to be recharged!

2. The “100†sign on the rear of a taxi indicates either its minimum speed in town, OR the max. number of people that may be carried in a 16-seater. Take your pick, it changes by the hour anyway.

3. Should the traffic be congested, simply cross the solid white line into the oncoming traffic, where there’s less traffic and continue on and THEN,

4. When coming to a traffic light, simply force your way in front of traffic and carry on after giving everyone the middle finger salute. The fact that that is what causes traffic to come to a halt, is of no importance to you.

5. Taxi’s may pull away at a traffic light when the lights turn orange/amber – for the traffic crossing in front of them! Gives one a running start, you see...

6. Likewise, taxis can continue racing across the intersection although the lights have already turned red for them ( and green for the crossing traffic). They just know you will understand and wait for them. In fact, should a number of taxis race down the “drag†to the traffic lights, any number can cross after the lights turn red – majority rule, you know!?

7. Then, especially when coming from the townships: if there’s more than 1 person in a private car, stop the car and force all passengers to get into a taxi and pay for the ride – these “privates†are stealing their business, see?

8. At the same time complain bitterly about the one-person cars taking up space on the roads.

9. Even better, If you don’t like the competition on “your routeâ€, simply kill him/them.

Taxis have “special rights†to:

1. Park in an intersection to load/offload passengers or to chat up a squeeza – never mind what the rest of the traffic is doing!

2. Race past you , either crossing over the solid white line or in the emergency lane – you can never tell. Remember, THEY have “rightsâ€!

3. Force their way into the “fast†lane only to then immediately slam on brakes and dive to the left to pick up or drop off a client.

4. Another option is to simply stop in the middle of the road to pick up/drop off passengers.

5. Indicators are totally optional, but IF used, it should be done AFTER changing lane or whatever!

6. Hoot incessantly to “attract†customers. (Now think for yourself, you’re walking down the road which is filled with taxis – how would you not know when one is passing you??)

7. People on motorbikes, scooters and bicycles are a pest so the best is to run them down – problem solved!

These are just some of my personal experiences while driving on SA’s roads !

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Why? They felt it was “unfair†to them as it would “make†them lose their licences and their jobs! Can you believe this! I mean, the solution is easy – keep to the laws of the road and keep your licence/job!

I can't see how much of a difference losing their licenses (if they even have a valid one to start with) would make. Since when do taxi drivers in SA obey ANY road rule, let alone the rule that says drivers in SA need to have a valid license.

candice

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Very good reading and funny :ilikeit: , although I know there is nothing funny about it when you are driving on SA roads :)

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3 days before we left SA for Aus we drove through a taxi shooting that had just taken place on Hendrik Potgieter. Three people were killed and their bodies were still on the road as no help had arrived yet. It was night time and hubby refused to stop and help. My children were horrified at the sight of the dead and the 2 bullet ridden taxis; and my son said "I can't wait to get out of this place!"

The lawlessness on the roads, especially the taxis was the primary reason for leaving SA, crime was secondary. Crime did not affect us everyday but the taxis did. Trying to get the kids to school every morning was an absolute nightmare.

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