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Possibly the funniest story I have read in a long while.

(This is a bricklayer’s accident report, which was apparently printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent to the Workers compensation board.)

This is reputed to be a true story!(but I cannot vouch for the aurthenticity :ph34r: )

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working on the roof of a new six-story building.

When I was finished with my work, I found that I had some bricks left over, which when weighed later were found to be in excess of 500lbs. rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower the bricks in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at the ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note that in block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive rate.

This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the two fingers of my right hand were knuckle deep in the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid decent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel coming up.

This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations to the lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I’m sorry to report however, as I lay there in the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope, and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey down onto me.

This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiries.

Yours Sincerely

XXXX XXXXXXXX(name removed to save further embarrassment :( )

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  • 5 months later...

Sounds even better in the original "funigalo" and it wasn't an australian

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Sounds even better in the original "funigalo" and it wasn't an australian

Go Rex Tarr of futi chalapalapa.

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