Toitjie Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 guys, I just need to share this with someone! I hope I wont be in trouble for this. I have just been in interviews (I am in HR for the city council pretoria) for Metro Police Constables. We interviewed more than 800 candidates, and had only 4 questions to each of them. Some of the funniest answers I have faithfully recorded. This is coming from our future metro police constables appointed to serve and protect...PS - every answer is from a different candidate....enjoy!Question 1: What will your duties as Metro Police Constable be if appointed:Anwers: Prevent crime prevention Criminal combustion Give high speed ticketsQuestion 2: What will you do if a lady sells fruit at an intersection?Anwers: I will arrest vendor and the fruit will be the witness If she has no permit, I will make sure she disappears I will buy her fruit from her I will take her out I will tell her to get lostQuestion 3: What do you understand about Arrive Alive campaign? You must drink red bull To arrive aliveand the best for last......Question 4: Why is it wrong to take bribes? People without money will be disadvantaged Its not part of my job description The person giving the bribe might be a police officer and arrest me Its wrong because its not right Do things straight, according to legal law To take money from innocent person is wrong If person jump the stop street, and I don’t fine him, he will jump again. That’s bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eva Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 what a good giggle!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyall Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 excellent, specially that it is so true....i had a good laugh, needed it after a frustrating email from the DIAC....and reminds me of why its worth it to fight for our visas!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michele R Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 OMG Toitjie, how ever did you keep a straight face? This is so funny...yet very scary! Please DIAC...send me a CO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toitjie Posted June 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 OMG Toitjie, how ever did you keep a straight face? This is so funny...yet very scary! Please DIAC...send me a CO!There were a couple of times where I pretended to tie shoelaces or something, my head beneath the table, just to hide my grin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 Had such a good chuckle... thanks Toitjie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreams Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 Maybe you must also let them do IQ tests.Is THAT the interview questions???? .... Say no more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maloui Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 So thats why when I ask a police officer at a roadblock a lot of questions he becomes uneasy and ask me to go. Maybe he thinks I am another cop there to get him... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyC Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toitjie Posted June 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 Maybe you must also let them do IQ tests.Is THAT the interview questions???? .... Say no morefunny that you should ask...we do IQ tests, but the horrific truth of this process is that I had to test 9000 candidates, 400 per day, 100 per session. there is just no way to ID such multitudes, I ask for their ID's but the photos taken were of when they were 16 years old, so obviously they dont look the same anymore. And what I found (I caught one person out - so who knows how many more there are) is that they send their more clever buddies to write the test in their name. Some people had fullmarks for this test whihc is my in my opinion impossible, but in the interview they could scarcely say two words in englishhow do I counter this? get our of here.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chalmers family Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 this is so disappointed, thank goodness we are leaving!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebonnet Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 funny that you should ask...we do IQ tests, but the horrific truth of this process is that I had to test 9000 candidates, 400 per day, 100 per session. there is just no way to ID such multitudes, I ask for their ID's but the photos taken were of when they were 16 years old, so obviously they dont look the same anymore. And what I found (I caught one person out - so who knows how many more there are) is that they send their more clever buddies to write the test in their name. Some people had fullmarks for this test whihc is my in my opinion impossible, but in the interview they could scarcely say two words in englishhow do I counter this? get our of here.... That is a lot of candidates, is this normal, or are you guys getting ready for the 2010 World Cup? Also, what kind of salary do they get, for example after training, the ones new on the job? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toitjie Posted June 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 That is a lot of candidates, is this normal, or are you guys getting ready for the 2010 World Cup? Also, what kind of salary do they get, for example after training, the ones new on the job?You are right Bluebonnet, its for the world cup. we had to appoint 2000 new recruits over a period of 3 years, the constables start on a salary of roundabout R 5000 per month. Training takes 2 years, they do a SAPS course as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyall Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 how depressing to think of all those jobs been available, and the calibre of people that get employed, while other people who would qualify are not even given a chance...(sorry, i know this is supposed to be the humourous page...it is actually very amusing...)I can just imagine the id books, I used to work in a bank in an industrial area...some days I used to giggle the whole day, cause these guys would come in with anybody in the family's id books...we had one guy that used to bring his twin brothers id book in.. used to get so confused!!!!eventually I made a mark with a pen that only shows up under UV light on the REAL id book...tell us more funny things toitjie...I love to read them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toitjie Posted June 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 tell us more funny things toitjie...I love to read them...ok.other funny things I remember:Had an interview for computer officer, so naturally we want to know how computer literate you are...right?Question: Which computer programs are you sufficient in?Answer: I have done a course in microwaves 1.Question: What do you know about Excel?Answer: I know sheetspread very well.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alida Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Eish, seems like the pot of gold at the foot of the rainbow has been misplaced ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good Witch Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 ok.other funny things I remember:Had an interview for computer officer, so naturally we want to know how computer literate you are...right?Question: Which computer programs are you sufficient in?Answer: I have done a course in microwaves 1.Question: What do you know about Excel?Answer: I know sheetspread very well....ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milo Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Recently I met a woman who is a highly qualified theatre sister, now in Cairnes.She told us about an incident while still in South Africa, where the hospital was interviewing for theatre staff. A woman presented them with paperwork stating her qualifications in nursing. Only problem was the dates on the docs shows that it is impossible for it to be hers. It would have made her almost 60 years old and she was clearly in her 20's. After much questioning they realise she has no medical background. She simply stated that she inherited the qualifications from her mother, who is now deceased. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert & Telanie Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Recently I met a woman who is a highly qualified theatre sister, now in Cairnes.She told us about an incident while still in South Africa, where the hospital was interviewing for theatre staff. A woman presented them with paperwork stating her qualifications in nursing. Only problem was the dates on the docs shows that it is impossible for it to be hers. It would have made her almost 60 years old and she was clearly in her 20's. After much questioning they realise she has no medical background. She simply stated that she inherited the qualifications from her mother, who is now deceased. - Welcome to Africa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxmvr Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 This make me wonder - 1) was the papers real and realy the mothers papers (not the grand mothers)2) if it is real is the child the child of the mother??????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexis Posted June 12, 2009 Report Share Posted June 12, 2009 Who knows about the original owner of the papers?Point is, did she really think the interviewers were that stupid that they wouldn't pick up the age differences.Theatre sister? It's more than bedpans, changing sheets and taking bloodpressure in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toitjie Posted June 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Who knows about the original owner of the papers?Point is, did she really think the interviewers were that stupid that they wouldn't pick up the age differences.Theatre sister? It's more than bedpans, changing sheets and taking bloodpressure in there!methinks that lady now works @ Kalafong..has anyone been there recently? Its horrific. Hubby's eldest daughter had her second child without a medical, so she had to go to Kalafong. When we wanted to visit, we couldnt find her, so we asked the staff where she is, I mean, there are hundreds of black ladies, a white one should not be that difficult to find.... they searched for about 20 minutes before locating her. she was in the nursery, there were about 20 black babies lying there in incubators, without any form of bracelet or identifying stuff...who knows whos babies was whose!!! fortunately she was the only white girl in there so her baby was easily identifiableI tell you, that place is the worst I have ever seen, the personnel are all lying around in chairs, they feel and do NOTHING for their patients, when there is a crisis you look at you as if you are really disturbing them..! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jitterbug Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 "You must drink Red Bull to arrive alive" Classic, love it, we had such a good laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyall Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 thats exactly why i was so stressed when my daughter had her baby in a govt hospital last month..also no medical aid.three years ago another daughter had a baby at Groote Schuur..which you would think is a great hospital, considering its history...i signed my daughter out while she was in labour because of this...(we went to the simonstown naval base hospital..also govt, and what an absolute pleasure....)the whole ward of women sit around the communal dining room table, approx 40....some are HIV positive, some full blown aids...they do their blood tests themselves at this table, and mess blood and leave needles etc lying around, this during meal times..the staff are no where to be found....I spoke to a staff nurse there, (I was a bit of a raging bull by then...) she said that just that week they had got blood tests mixed up, and a girl with full blown aids had been sent home and one who was in the clear was started with the other girls anti retroviral treatment...it was so dirty there we used to wipe every thing we touched, specially things like lift buttons and chairs...like you say, the staff dont give a damn...sorry, getting side tracked now, if it wasnt so sad it would be funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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