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Answers to questions in a job interview


Toitjie
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guys, I just need to share this with someone! I hope I wont be in trouble for this. I have just been in interviews (I am in HR for the city council pretoria) for Metro Police Constables. We interviewed more than 800 candidates, and had only 4 questions to each of them. Some of the funniest answers I have faithfully recorded. This is coming from our future metro police constables appointed to serve and protect...

PS - every answer is from a different candidate....enjoy!

Question 1: What will your duties as Metro Police Constable be if appointed:

Anwers: Prevent crime prevention

Criminal combustion

Give high speed tickets

Question 2: What will you do if a lady sells fruit at an intersection?

Anwers: I will arrest vendor and the fruit will be the witness

If she has no permit, I will make sure she disappears

I will buy her fruit from her

I will take her out

I will tell her to get lost

Question 3: What do you understand about Arrive Alive campaign?

You must drink red bull

To arrive alive

and the best for last......

Question 4: Why is it wrong to take bribes?

People without money will be disadvantaged

Its not part of my job description

The person giving the bribe might be a police officer and arrest me

Its wrong because its not right

Do things straight, according to legal law

To take money from innocent person is wrong

If person jump the stop street, and I don’t fine him, he will jump again. That’s bad.

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excellent, specially that it is so true....i had a good laugh, needed it after a frustrating email from the DIAC....

and reminds me of why its worth it to fight for our visas!!!!

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OMG Toitjie, how ever did you keep a straight face? :blush:

This is so funny...yet very scary! Please DIAC...send me a CO!

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OMG Toitjie, how ever did you keep a straight face? :blush:

This is so funny...yet very scary! Please DIAC...send me a CO!

There were a couple of times where I pretended to tie shoelaces or something, my head beneath the table, just to hide my grin

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Maybe you must also let them do IQ tests.

Is THAT the interview questions???? .... Say no more

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So thats why when I ask a police officer at a roadblock a lot of questions he becomes uneasy and ask me to go. Maybe he thinks I am another cop there to get him... :ilikeit:

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Maybe you must also let them do IQ tests.

Is THAT the interview questions???? .... Say no more

funny that you should ask...we do IQ tests, but the horrific truth of this process is that I had to test 9000 candidates, 400 per day, 100 per session. there is just no way to ID such multitudes, I ask for their ID's but the photos taken were of when they were 16 years old, so obviously they dont look the same anymore. And what I found (I caught one person out - so who knows how many more there are) is that they send their more clever buddies to write the test in their name. Some people had fullmarks for this test whihc is my in my opinion impossible, but in the interview they could scarcely say two words in english

how do I counter this?

get our of here.... :ilikeit:

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this is so disappointed, thank goodness we are leaving!!!!

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funny that you should ask...we do IQ tests, but the horrific truth of this process is that I had to test 9000 candidates, 400 per day, 100 per session. there is just no way to ID such multitudes, I ask for their ID's but the photos taken were of when they were 16 years old, so obviously they dont look the same anymore. And what I found (I caught one person out - so who knows how many more there are) is that they send their more clever buddies to write the test in their name. Some people had fullmarks for this test whihc is my in my opinion impossible, but in the interview they could scarcely say two words in english

how do I counter this?

get our of here.... B)

That is a lot of candidates, is this normal, or are you guys getting ready for the 2010 World Cup? Also, what kind of salary do they get, for example after training, the ones new on the job?

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That is a lot of candidates, is this normal, or are you guys getting ready for the 2010 World Cup? Also, what kind of salary do they get, for example after training, the ones new on the job?

You are right Bluebonnet, its for the world cup. we had to appoint 2000 new recruits over a period of 3 years, the constables start on a salary of roundabout R 5000 per month. Training takes 2 years, they do a SAPS course as well

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how depressing to think of all those jobs been available, and the calibre of people that get employed, while other people who would qualify are not even given a chance...(sorry, i know this is supposed to be the humourous page...it is actually very amusing...)

I can just imagine the id books, I used to work in a bank in an industrial area...some days I used to giggle the whole day, cause these guys would come in with anybody in the family's id books...we had one guy that used to bring his twin brothers id book in.. used to get so confused!!!!eventually I made a mark with a pen that only shows up under UV light on the REAL id book...

tell us more funny things toitjie...I love to read them...

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tell us more funny things toitjie...I love to read them...

ok.

other funny things I remember:

Had an interview for computer officer, so naturally we want to know how computer literate you are...right?

Question: Which computer programs are you sufficient in?

Answer: I have done a course in microwaves 1.

Question: What do you know about Excel?

Answer: I know sheetspread very well....

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Eish, seems like the pot of gold at the foot of the rainbow has been misplaced ... :whome:

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ok.

other funny things I remember:

Had an interview for computer officer, so naturally we want to know how computer literate you are...right?

Question: Which computer programs are you sufficient in?

Answer: I have done a course in microwaves 1.

Question: What do you know about Excel?

Answer: I know sheetspread very well....

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! :rolleyes::lol: :lol: :lol::cry:

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Recently I met a woman who is a highly qualified theatre sister, now in Cairnes.

She told us about an incident while still in South Africa, where the hospital was interviewing for theatre staff. A woman presented them with paperwork stating her qualifications in nursing. Only problem was the dates on the docs shows that it is impossible for it to be hers. It would have made her almost 60 years old and she was clearly in her 20's. After much questioning they realise she has no medical background. She simply stated that she inherited the qualifications from her mother, who is now deceased.

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Recently I met a woman who is a highly qualified theatre sister, now in Cairnes.

She told us about an incident while still in South Africa, where the hospital was interviewing for theatre staff. A woman presented them with paperwork stating her qualifications in nursing. Only problem was the dates on the docs shows that it is impossible for it to be hers. It would have made her almost 60 years old and she was clearly in her 20's. After much questioning they realise she has no medical background. She simply stated that she inherited the qualifications from her mother, who is now deceased.

:rolleyes::lol::lol::lol: - Welcome to Africa

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This make me wonder -

1) was the papers real and realy the mothers papers (not the grand mothers)

2) if it is real is the child the child of the mother

???????

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Who knows about the original owner of the papers?

Point is, did she really think the interviewers were that stupid that they wouldn't pick up the age differences.

Theatre sister? It's more than bedpans, changing sheets and taking bloodpressure in there!

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Who knows about the original owner of the papers?

Point is, did she really think the interviewers were that stupid that they wouldn't pick up the age differences.

Theatre sister? It's more than bedpans, changing sheets and taking bloodpressure in there!

methinks that lady now works @ Kalafong..has anyone been there recently? Its horrific. Hubby's eldest daughter had her second child without a medical, so she had to go to Kalafong. When we wanted to visit, we couldnt find her, so we asked the staff where she is, I mean, there are hundreds of black ladies, a white one should not be that difficult to find.... they searched for about 20 minutes before locating her. she was in the nursery, there were about 20 black babies lying there in incubators, without any form of bracelet or identifying stuff...who knows whos babies was whose!!! fortunately she was the only white girl in there so her baby was easily identifiable

I tell you, that place is the worst I have ever seen, the personnel are all lying around in chairs, they feel and do NOTHING for their patients, when there is a crisis you look at you as if you are really disturbing them..!

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"You must drink Red Bull to arrive alive"

Classic, love it, we had such a good laugh :ilikeit:

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thats exactly why i was so stressed when my daughter had her baby in a govt hospital last month..also no medical aid.

three years ago another daughter had a baby at Groote Schuur..which you would think is a great hospital, considering its history...i signed my daughter out while she was in labour because of this...(we went to the simonstown naval base hospital..also govt, and what an absolute pleasure....)

the whole ward of women sit around the communal dining room table, approx 40....some are HIV positive, some full blown aids...they do their blood tests themselves at this table, and mess blood and leave needles etc lying around, this during meal times..the staff are no where to be found....I spoke to a staff nurse there, (I was a bit of a raging bull by then...) she said that just that week they had got blood tests mixed up, and a girl with full blown aids had been sent home and one who was in the clear was started with the other girls anti retroviral treatment...

it was so dirty there we used to wipe every thing we touched, specially things like lift buttons and chairs...like you say, the staff dont give a damn...

sorry, getting side tracked now,

if it wasnt so sad it would be funny...

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