Bruce and Sheila jokes!

[Terence.H]

Aussie Love

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off.

Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?" Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself." Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this. He says "Strewth Sheila..... Not only are you a great shag but you're a real sport too."

And drives off.

Guy out in the sticks comes across a girl swinging on the farm gate.

"Do ya root?" He asks.

"No" says the sheila, "but you're such a silver tongued bastard, you've talked me into it."

Bruce and Sheila are shopping when Bruce picks up a dozen VB stubbies and sticks it into the trolley.

"What the F#*%! do you think you're doing?" says Sheila.

"They're on special, only $10 for 12 cans", Bruce says.

"Put them back. We can't afford it," says Sheila and they carry on shopping...

A few minutes later the Sheila picks up a $20 jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley.

"What the F#*%! do you think you're doing?" asks Bruce."

It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," Sheila says.

To which Bruce replies... "SO DOES 12 CANS OF VB AND THAT'S ONLY HALF THE F*%KING PRICE"

[AllisonW]

Thanks for the laugh Terence!