Vehicle clearance - part 2

[Biltongboer]

Picture of da engine

Well, here it is: the engine. Just to prove my story. When you return after three days to collect your Police Clearance for your vehicle, you have to sit on a little bench right next to it and wait your turn.

Just behind the engine you can see a door. There is another door at the opposite side of the hallway. The first confusing decision that you have to make is whether you have to enter via the door on the left hand side, or the door on your right.

The people are all sitting on the bench that leads to the right hand side, and I guess (correctly) that this is where I will have to start. There is always a reason why everyone is sitting in a row - you won't be so lucky to miss that part of the excitement. The guy in the office goes by the name of Martin, and he is the King in this small kingdom of vehicle clearance paypahs.

Exactly how he decides that your paypahs are in order, only he knows. He has one sheet with a list of numbers on it. If this is their system, I am not surprised that many vehicles find their way into Angola illegally.

Just before I enter his office, I read the sign on the wall, and see that I actually need to have the paypahs, but also a copy of the paypahs, with N$30.00 - why they cannot just make a copy after they stamp it at the container-thingy, is anybody's guess. For that N$30.00 they can surely add another dolla and make you pay for a copy? But I know why this doesn't happen:

1. This is Africa, and planning ahead and making things easier is rocket science to these idiots.

2. The photocopy machine would break after 2 days, and then everything would grind down to a halt, while they wait for a "technician" to come and fix it.

I deliberately wrote "technician", because I get irritated by any old tiffy calling himself an engineer or a technician. You actually need to study at Technicon or University to obtain those distinctions, but any asshole these days calls himself an engineer - then he is a guy who failed high school and now builds PC's in his garage.

Anyway, back to the subject. I realise that I will get nowhere without the copy, so I run accross the road and I find a Chinese shop in Independance avenue. "We doing photocopy and lamination", the sign outside proudly states. I get my copy and run back to the Engine room.

At least the row is going quickly - these are all new guys sitting here. I finally enter into Martin's office. You have to close the door behind you, sit down, and wait. He says nothing, barely acknowledges your friendly African greeting. He hands me the paypahs, now with one more stamp and signature added.

Now, I have to walk across the hall, into the other office next to the engine. There are three memes wehking very hahd. You have no idea which one of the memes should be the first one to make contact with. Two of them seem to have the same book, and the one at the end has a receipt book. They are all talking at once, and all of them have customahs that are waiting.

The one lady asks "colour of cah?", and the guy says" white". And so it goes on. Half-way through the exercise the meme realises that the guy who is answering is not the guy in front of her - he is supposed to talk to meme in front of him. Now all the paypahs are confused heah.

Ehhh....

Finally, one of the memes wave at me, and I present my paypahs with the stamps. She asks me a question, but I cannot make out what she's saying. I listen again: "what colah is the cah?"

Ohhh, its blue. And so on and so on.

Now I have to go to the meme at the end, this is where the thehty dollas are paid. I get a receipt and a form that states that this cah is cleared by the great efficient Police force of Namibia.

Eish. I feel weak. I have no more strenght for this. Auk my baas.

Tomorrow is the roadworthy test - pray for me.

Edited August 28, 2008 by Biltongboer

[5vannemerwea]

Genade, dit is iets om van oor te kom. Afrika op sy beste. Wat my altyd so kou rilling gee is die gedagte dat die waneer die memes nou moeg is vir dee poleece papahs dan kry hulle sommer raise en werk met die government se finance!!!

Sterke ou maat. Amper hier.

Martin (die regte een, nie die een agter die toonbank in Windhoek nie!!!!!!!!!)

[Biltongboer]

Genade, dit is iets om van oor te kom. Afrika op sy beste. Wat my altyd so kou rilling gee is die gedagte dat die waneer die memes nou moeg is vir dee poleece papahs dan kry hulle sommer raise en werk met die government se finance!!!

Sterke ou maat. Amper hier.

Martin (die regte een, nie die een agter die toonbank in Windhoek nie!!!!!!!!!)

Ahhh, hys seker een van jou kinders? Hulle vernoem mos so agter die Baas aan...

[5vannemerwea]

Hey, jy is nou op dun ys ou maat. Ek hou wit koffie wit en swart koffie swart!!!!

[Jan Stoof]

Hi Billies. Ek ken daai enjin. Dit is 'n Toyota enjin. Dit is 'n simboliese geskenk van Sam se chaufeer. Toe hy die hoof vannie poliesmag geword het, nadat Sam uitgetree het. Toe die chaufeer loop kry hy die Toyota van Sam vir al sy jare se goeie diens. Toe hy die job as Polieshoof kry, toe skenk hy die enjin om vir almal te wys watter hoogtes 'n man innie Staatsdiens kan bereik. Jy is veronderstel om daar met gebuigde hoof te staan en jou eer te betoon. Nie meer nie? Ai waars die dae toe alles nog gewerk het en 'n man nog geeer was. He he.

[Eva]

Well, thanks for the chuckle - again. I was in tears reading the post about PTSD, then in tears again laughing at your one!

[SuzetteJ]

VIVA AFRIKA !!!!!!........wonder of ons dit gaan mis

[Biltongboer]

VIVA AFRIKA !!!!!!........wonder of ons dit gaan mis

Ek gaan so hard probeer om die gemors uit my geheue uit te kry, ek sal nie Afrika kan aandui op 'n wereldkaart nie...