Naarch Posted August 5, 2008 Report Share Posted August 5, 2008 *BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN GAUTENG** *1. Indicating will give away your next move. A real Gauteng driver neveruses them.2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between youand the car in front of you, or the space will be filled by two Golfs, aBMW and an Uno, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance youhave of getting hit.4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects itand it will only result in you being rear-ended.5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure thatyour ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brakepedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretchyour legs.6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a goodway to check if the people entering the highway are awake.7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. Theyare especially not applicable in Gauteng during rush hour. That's whyit's called 'rush hour...'.8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up ormove over doesn't mean that a Gauteng driver flashing his high beamsbehind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or evensomeone changing a tyre. Never stop to help - you will be mugged.10 Learn to swerve abruptly. Gauteng is the home of the high-speedslalom driving thanks to the Metro Police Department, which puts holesin key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keeps them on their toes.11. It is traditional in Gauteng to honk your horn at cars that don'tmove the instant the light turns green. This prevents storks frombuilding nests on top of the traffic light and miners from makingdeposits on your car.12. Remember that the goal of every Gauteng driver is to get there firstby whatever means necessary.13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersectionafter the light has turned red It's people not adhering to this basicprincipal that cause the big traffic jams during rush hour.14. A solid white line is the same as a staggered line in Gauteng . TheMetro Police Department just have to save paint to buy new cars for allthe new directors. A solid white line next to a staggered line meansthey have sorted the directors out and the paint contract has beenawarded to their wives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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