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1. Indicating will give away your next move. A real Gauteng driver never

uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you

and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled by two Golfs, a

BMW and an Uno, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you

have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it

and it will only result in you being rear-ended.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that

your ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake

pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch

your legs.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good

way to check if the people entering the highway are awake.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. They

are especially not applicable in Gauteng during rush hour. That's why

it's called 'rush hour...'.

8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or

move over doesn't mean that a Gauteng driver flashing his high beams

behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even

someone changing a tyre. Never stop to help - you will be mugged.

10 Learn to swerve abruptly. Gauteng is the home of the high-speed

slalom driving thanks to the Metro Police Department, which puts holes

in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keeps them on their toes.

11. It is traditional in Gauteng to honk your horn at cars that don't

move the instant the light turns green. This prevents storks from

building nests on top of the traffic light and miners from making

deposits on your car.

12. Remember that the goal of every Gauteng driver is to get there first

by whatever means necessary.

13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection

after the light has turned red It's people not adhering to this basic

principal that cause the big traffic jams during rush hour.

14. A solid white line is the same as a staggered line in Gauteng . The

Metro Police Department just have to save paint to buy new cars for all

the new directors. A solid white line next to a staggered line means

they have sorted the directors out and the paint contract has been

awarded to their wives.

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Ditto for Cape Town

new rules to be added....

Most of the traffic lights were built before third phase so drivers have to create their own turning opportunities.

Reversing down an off ramp is allowed, esp if you have a CY registration no

If you have lost /newer owned your own number plate a card box one placed in your wind screen will do.


Edited by Firstworld_girl
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