Guest Mauritz Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 (edited) The Snot Block (Banalis snotalis)Meet mille-feuille or the vanilla slice. If you don't believe me - Google 'snot block' and see for yourself. Some other names:America: NapoleonUk: Vanilla sliceGerman: CremeschnitteFrench: Mille-feuille (Thousand sheets)Then of course Down Under: Snot Block. How I love this country. "Two snot blocks please." No nonsense - that's it - everyone knows what you want.See, wifey's working weekends now. Daddy takes the girls to tap dancing - how I love that little trip. The teacher is from Brisbane, all the way from the UK - a previous 'River Dance' doedie. She's just beautiful - I'm strongly considering tap dancing. My boy and mois fiddle around in Stanthorpe, while the girls tap it away. We are not allowed to watch - I think all the daddies are banned from tap dancing - they make the teacher nervous.After tap dancing - I take the 3 Simpsons for a snot block - amazing family entertainment. There are 3 places in Stanthorpe that competes to create the best snot block. This morning the local bakery had no choice. The four musketeers arrived and 3 straws were drawn. The shortest staw must go and order the snot blocks - see, all part of growing up Down Under. You can't buy a car or open a bank account before you managed to ask, "Three snot blocks please."This bakery employs kids - young girls, school girls. The order - 4 snot blocks, 3 apple juices and a 'Long Black' coffee. I don't like 'flat whites.' The snot blocks arrived - no forks and no knives. You can't eat a snot block in full view of other people with your hands - it's not called a snot block for nothing. I called 'Pippie Langkous' and ask for a FORK pleauuuuze. Four forks arrived, no 'long black.' I called loudly in the Boere voice - 'where's my bleddy coffee.' So sorry, she said - one long black coming.Long black arrived to wash down the snot block - it's a bleddy flat white - can you believe it. My oldest girl looked at my expression of disgust and said, 'Daddy, I think the bakery is having a bad day.' I made my voice thick - 'this is a flat white, I ordered and paid for a long black.' So sorry, the little thing said - long black coming up.Long black arrived - no spoon - can you believe it. That snot block is waiting and I'm 'kwyling' man - like a hungry puppy dog. I flip out - how can they do this to me - bleddy torture man - now I must stand in a queue for a bleddy spoon. Finally a spoon, the long black is cold. I don't care anymore - I attack the snot block and wash it down with cold coffe. I look at the kids and know that my face is plastered with snot, just like theirs.Here it is:Wikipedia: vanilla slice, cream slice or custard slice (esp. U.K. and Commonwealth) is a pastry made of several layers of puff pastry alternating with a sweet filling, typically pastry cream, but sometimes whipped cream, or jam. It is usually glazed with royal icing or fondant in alternating white and brown (chocolate) strips, and combed. The name is also spelled as "millefeuille(s)" and "mille feuille(s)", and is French for "a thousand sheets".In Australia, there are varying forms of this pastry. Balfours, claiming to be Australia's largest bakery, produce their own form of Napoleon Cake which is multi layered and contains icing, pastry, cream, jam and sponge cake. This differs from the more widely known vanilla slice which is composed of icing, pastry and custard. It is sometimes called a 'Snot Block' due to the consistency of the custard.[1]The culprit: Edited June 7, 2008 by Mauritz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerryt Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 That is brilliant - will definately be ordering a 'snot block' when we get down under Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biltongboer Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 That is brilliant - will definately be ordering a 'snot block' when we get down underEk het sopas my eie snot block gebou hier op my keyboard van al die lag... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geduldige van der merwes! Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 Hi, cool, i have many fond memories as my mom used to make this when we where small, we just called them custard slices. Maybe i should make some! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toktokkie Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 Ag nee, sies man....nou sal ek mos nie weer die goed kan eet nie... ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alta Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 Vat liewer die ozzie naam, ek sit nounog en bloos as ek dink wat ons moes vra as ons die lekkerny in 'n hollandse bakkery wou koop - katkoppe!! weet julle wat is 'n kat in holland??????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 In SA it is called a custard slice, lovely and damned difficult to eat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mauritz Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 The layer on top is fairly tough - you need the necessary experience and skill to demolish one successfully. If you watch kids eating one - you'll understand the name 'snot block.' If you pick the whole thing up and bite it - you can't bite through the top and bottom layers - they just compress and push the gooey stuff out to the side - plop, all the way down your chin, all on your plate, table and floor.If you poke it with a fork, impossible with a spoon, even then you might squash the whole thing. I eat it with purpose, I look like a Recce during Operation Askari. You pick your fork up, elbow higher than your ear - murder in your eyes, then you stab the bleddy thing as fast as you can. Don't worry if you split the plate, just as long as you managed to get through the top layer without yellow stuff squiring all over the place. Then you use your knife - a fast sawing action - first through the top layer - never, never forget the bottom layer - if you do, then the whole thing just flip over and land on the table. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biltongboer Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 Now I see where your karate lesson come in... Kiiieejaaai! Hey, oes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 I had a friend back in SA who absolutely loved them, for morning tea, at the office. She had a way with dealing with the little buggers. She would put it in a plate, lie it on it's side, slice it down the middle, then turn it back upright, so that the hard crust is at the bottom of each piece. She would then use a steak knife to cut it with and eat it with a fork. Absolutely had it down to a fine art! Not a drop was spilt or went anywhere, except into her mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mauritz Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 I had a friend back in SA who absolutely loved them, for morning tea, at the office. She had a way with dealing with the little buggers. She would put it in a plate, lie it on it's side, slice it down the middle, then turn it back upright, so that the hard crust is at the bottom of each piece. She would then use a steak knife to cut it with and eat it with a fork. Absolutely had it down to a fine art! Not a drop was spilt or went anywhere, except into her mouth.Brilliant I'm going to change my attack on mille-feuille - forget the 'snot block.' Saturday - I'm going to put my best 'bordeel bekruipers' on - those pointed snake skin ones. My 'tight' black jeans and my pink fishnet T-shirt. I'm going to wax my backside and trim my leg hair with a lime green slimline electric razor. I'm going to powder my nose and pull my eyebrows.I'm going to sit in that bakery and ask that girl: 'Long black and a mille-feuillle please .......... and if you don't mind a steak knife and a teeny weeny fork.' I'm going to flip that mille-feuille on its side with a civilised flick of my wrist. I'll cut in precisely down the middle and neatly turn them crust side down on the plate. I'll cut them in 1cm square little blocks and eat them very Queen Elizabeth like with that teeny weeny fork. I can't wait - just maybe I'll ask the River Dance doedie for a mille-feuille. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 Sheez Mauritz, wish you would get somebody with a video camera to tape that occasion for us, would love to see you in that get up eating a mio mie ag mens OK then a 'snot block'! LOLPlease, just don't forget, the pinkie of the hand holding that teeny weeny fork, just has to be pointing sky high! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHIRLS Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 Thanks for that Mauritz.......I used to LOVE custard slices,now everytime I see one I'll think of snot !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geduldige van der merwes! Posted June 22, 2008 Report Share Posted June 22, 2008 Reminds me of a joke:I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them. I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my snot??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzetteJ Posted June 22, 2008 Report Share Posted June 22, 2008 NEE HEL, DIT RAAK AL ERGER!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHIRLS Posted June 22, 2008 Report Share Posted June 22, 2008 Reminds me of a joke:I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them. I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my snot???PRICELESS LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllisonW Posted June 23, 2008 Report Share Posted June 23, 2008 I love custard slices, and think that i will continue to call them custard slices otherwise i may never, ever eat one again! This will be the one thing that i will not adapt to! LOLAl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanK Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Ya just gotta luv the way the Ozzies think. Wonderful language Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny & Rene Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Our Super Spar makes "LEKKER" custard slices. Tonight I am going to buy some and try either way of eating them, I haven;t mastered the art yet so this should be very interessting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicciG Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Oi Mauritz - you certainly have a way with words! Ek het my nou slap gelag (en gegril - daar is nie vir my 'n aakliger woord as "snot" nie - nie eens van ons meer kleurryke Afrikaanse vloekwoorde is vir my so erg nie).I just love custard slices and I have mastered eating one with my teeth, without having the filling drop anywhere except in my mouth. I have extremely sharp teeth so I don't need a knife and fork. (Maar ek moet tog erken dat ek my deur toemaak wanneer ek een eet by die werk, want dit is nogal nie 'n prentjie om te aanskou nie.) Sal maar altyd 'n custard slice vir my wees, maar ek sal jok as ek se dat ek nie aan die Ozzie naam sal dink as ek weer een bestel nie.Lekker dag.NicciG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leigh MC Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Hey - where did Mauritz go?? How come he's now a guest on the forum??L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Worries Mate Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 He requested the "doodskoot". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leigh MC Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 How come? Did I miss something AGAIN? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biltongboer Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 How come? Did I miss something AGAIN?He made his final appearance, bowed to the audience - and now lives in another place called the Flat White Snot Blog - google it, you'll find it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leigh MC Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 Seer--eee-yus??? I shall google it post haste and shall not spare the horses... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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