Blossom Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 HUSBAND'S LETTER A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table: 'To My Dear Wife You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be back home before midnight.' ------------------------ When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table: 'To My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you're at the Comfort Inn, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, he is 18 years old. As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Hi Kannidood.Welcome back, glad to read a story in English. I wish you could post more of your stories in English because my Afrikaans isn't very good. I saw you posted a story in the LL, I will go back now and try and read it.bye for now Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizes Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 O My suster.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nilo Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 LOL!!! Dis nou wragtag snaaks!!! En waar die blerrie jimpelse ou man!!! LOL!! Toe sit sy vrou vir hom ore aan!!!!Elize, LOVE jou reply!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizes Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Julle spot so met 'n ou man en vrou...my Ma het my Pa gelos in die aftree oord, vir 'n ander oom. My Ma was 63 en my Pa was 77...en toe los sy hom vir 'n ander oom van 77....Wys jou...ouderdom tel nie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreams Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michele R Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Ek het dit nou dadelik vir my ma gestuur! Haha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blossom Posted April 1, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Julle spot so met 'n ou man en vrou...my Ma het my Pa gelos in die aftree oord, vir 'n ander oom. My Ma was 63 en my Pa was 77...en toe los sy hom vir 'n ander oom van 77....Wys jou...ouderdom tel nie!Elize!!! Jy lieg mos nou soos 'n tandetrekker! Of nie? Wat het geword van jonk en jeukerig? Is dit nou se dae oud en jeukerig?En wat gaan aan in die outehuise? Hulle gooi seker iets in die water.Ek kan nie wag om te gaan nie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blossom Posted April 1, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Hi Kannidood.Welcome back, glad to read a story in English. I wish you could post more of your stories in English because my Afrikaans isn't very good. I saw you posted a story in the LL, I will go back now and try and read it.bye for now JillOops, sorry Jill, but for me to even attempt to write that story in English will be a massive effort. You will laugh at me...sorry again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamcatcher Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 En wat gaan aan in die outehuise? Hulle gooi seker iets in die water.Ja - Viagra, sodat die ou omies nie van die bed afrol nie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest natalie3 Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 (edited) I also have a good "husband and wife" one..(for the golfers!)On an icy cold gloomy morning..husband gets up..puts on his golf clothes and gets in his car..halfway to the club its starts to rain..so he decides to turn around and go home ..climbing back into bed ..shivering his bum off..he says to his wife "its ice-cold and raining out there!"half asleep,the wife replies.."mmmm..and can u believe my moron husband is playing golf!" Edited April 1, 2008 by natalie3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeaveLeft Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 YYYIIIPPPEEEEEEE Kannidood is TERUG !!!! Weer lekker stories !!!! So gepraat van stories..... waar is Jan Stoof deesdae ???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizes Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Betsy ek is dead serious... So vier jaar terug gebeur. Se gisteraand vir my man , as my ouers nog bymekaar was, dan het ek dalk moeiliker oorgekom Oz toe....Funny hoe dinge werk!Groete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ing Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing. A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my goodness ! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.' A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.' Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.' 'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay. A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blossom Posted April 1, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 You know I&J, this must be some of the best I have ever read! Hilarious!! More? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aramat Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 ROTFLMAO!!!!!!I love he one about breakfast..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fern Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 I&J and Kannidood,This is great stuff!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.